13 reviews liked by uncutjam


Sweden simulator but boring and shit

155 hours. That's how much of my life I've put into Assassin's Creed Valhalla and I still haven't seen end credits. I've finished the main story and completed the HUNDREDS of side quests and all of the other activities and this bloody thing still won't END.

It's a good game, don't get me wrong. I've enjoyed my time with it, it's just that there's so bloody MUCH of it. Ubisoft have made a game that's four times the size a game like this should be and absolutely nobody asked them to do it. They could have released a 40 hour cracker and AC fans and non-fans would've lapped it up. Instead, they spent so much money and so much effort to make a big hairy wank of a thing that nobody really needs. I spent a year playing this. A year, mate. Wind yer neck in, Ubisoft.

nearly gave me an anxiety attack but i got to chase digital avatars of my friends so its p awesome

With regards to covering the Midgar portion of the original Final Fantasy VII, this remake does more than just do justice to the original but the expansions here are more than welcome.

I think that given how much could be happening within just the Midgar portion of the original, it feels nice to be able to explore a lot more - even if this new take leans more towards being incredibly sidequest heavy, but there's never a moment where I ever felt bored with taking on new "Odd Jobs" either. It feels nice to be able to get to know more of the people who live within Midgar, considering the expansive lore of Final Fantasy VII, but the fact that this game allows you to revisit that section at any time given as the original game blocks you from revisiting it until a certain point of Disc 2, it just feels nice - as a capsule of nostalgia and a means to show how expansive the worlds are.

The combat system has its charm, though part of me prefers the active time battle combat system from the original. But nonetheless, it brings back memories of playing through a battle from Kingdom Hearts, which was also a lot of fun in its own ways - and admittedly I do miss the random encounters that came by as it was a staple of the Final Fantasy games. That said, I do appreciate the fact that this revamped battle system is far more forgiving compared to the fact the original always leaves you wandering around looking for save spots, for you can always restart at any time before the battle to better accustom yourself to what comes ahead.

Count me excited to see where the rest of this story goes, because I'm definitely on board with what we have here so far. While I think the simplicity of the original, especially for a game for the first PlayStation still has my heart, the fact that a new generation will be introduced to Final Fantasy VII, revamped for today, will always be a plus in my eyes.

hideo kojima game = endless creativity + actually funny humor

watched my sister play. looked too hard

watched my sister play it. its funny when the horses run into stuff

Shut the fuck up losers the ending was fine.

This game is fantastic, don’t trust the shitters