Genshin Impact Fun Facts! The age of consent is 18 years old!
Cool game but when i downloaded genshin on my pc, my mom texted me "me and your dad are going through tough times recently" and then that same night she told me to choose a side her or my dad i chose her and i offically became fatherless.
Genshin Impact is certainly uhhh, something.
Or at least, it really wants to be something, it takes a lot of different things and smashes them together, somehow coherently, in the hopeful goal of being a something. But it really doesn't, it's not a something at all.
That's the long and short of it, but let me break stuff down to the specifics. Genshin takes a shitton of inspiration from other ps4 anime titles (weirdly Atelier Ryza kept coming to my head), BotW, and korean mmos in this weird mesh of trying to be a hack n slash anime open world. You have exploration, dungeons and character class and element mechanics, a pretty standard anime story, and a somewhat sweet vibe in the visuals. But like, each every one of these components are soulless, they don't really come together to make anything special, they're just there.
Exploration is route and boring, with a lot of fucking about getting numbers to go up and seeing very uninteresting sights. You might find some neat gear but gear generally just means number and stat ups rather than anything of much worth.
Mechanics boil down to being very simple, mostly picking whichever buttons you want to mash to make enemies keel over because enemy design asks nothing of you and all characters can functionally instawipe a group in their own way. Elemental play leads to very particular lock and key options but not anything dynamic, sheikah slates and element play of BotW it certainly isn't or really trying to be, it's just dressing.
The vibe itself is very disturbingly stolen from BotW, with the overworld music using the same kind of piano timbre that goes back to it, but it's just MISSING something. It's easy to say it's just missing a soul, but there's more to it, there's not even a sense of direction to what the music is playing. It feels ethereal but in the bad kind of sense, the one where you're playing around anime open world limbo rather than something serene.
I won't deny that the game at least looks pleasant, if anything that was the one thing I enjoyed in the amount of time I spent, getting a literal "ooo pretty" out of my mouth in the first five or so minutes. I guess another plus in this game's direction is that the gacha isn't overbearing as it is basic f2p design really, it's pushed in your face once and then it at best only subconsciously works for people going for completionism shit. From what I've been told, you can clear the story just fine without interacting with the shop at all, so that's nice.
That's kind of all the positive sentiment I can scoop up for this though, it really just kinda sucks otherwise. None of this ends up with Genshin Impact having its own identity, being something from even just one of its parts much less the sum. It really feels like a game made for eastern audiences that does 'just' enough to be relaxing and comfy to waste time in, but then offer nothing in return. Originally I was going to make this review just as I tweeted about it, saying that Genshin Impact is just Destiny 2 for eastern audiences.
I don't really even know about that anymore though, there is certainly a lot more I can give and recommend about Destiny, this is just going to be an afterthought eventually.
Or at least, it really wants to be something, it takes a lot of different things and smashes them together, somehow coherently, in the hopeful goal of being a something. But it really doesn't, it's not a something at all.
That's the long and short of it, but let me break stuff down to the specifics. Genshin takes a shitton of inspiration from other ps4 anime titles (weirdly Atelier Ryza kept coming to my head), BotW, and korean mmos in this weird mesh of trying to be a hack n slash anime open world. You have exploration, dungeons and character class and element mechanics, a pretty standard anime story, and a somewhat sweet vibe in the visuals. But like, each every one of these components are soulless, they don't really come together to make anything special, they're just there.
Exploration is route and boring, with a lot of fucking about getting numbers to go up and seeing very uninteresting sights. You might find some neat gear but gear generally just means number and stat ups rather than anything of much worth.
Mechanics boil down to being very simple, mostly picking whichever buttons you want to mash to make enemies keel over because enemy design asks nothing of you and all characters can functionally instawipe a group in their own way. Elemental play leads to very particular lock and key options but not anything dynamic, sheikah slates and element play of BotW it certainly isn't or really trying to be, it's just dressing.
The vibe itself is very disturbingly stolen from BotW, with the overworld music using the same kind of piano timbre that goes back to it, but it's just MISSING something. It's easy to say it's just missing a soul, but there's more to it, there's not even a sense of direction to what the music is playing. It feels ethereal but in the bad kind of sense, the one where you're playing around anime open world limbo rather than something serene.
I won't deny that the game at least looks pleasant, if anything that was the one thing I enjoyed in the amount of time I spent, getting a literal "ooo pretty" out of my mouth in the first five or so minutes. I guess another plus in this game's direction is that the gacha isn't overbearing as it is basic f2p design really, it's pushed in your face once and then it at best only subconsciously works for people going for completionism shit. From what I've been told, you can clear the story just fine without interacting with the shop at all, so that's nice.
That's kind of all the positive sentiment I can scoop up for this though, it really just kinda sucks otherwise. None of this ends up with Genshin Impact having its own identity, being something from even just one of its parts much less the sum. It really feels like a game made for eastern audiences that does 'just' enough to be relaxing and comfy to waste time in, but then offer nothing in return. Originally I was going to make this review just as I tweeted about it, saying that Genshin Impact is just Destiny 2 for eastern audiences.
I don't really even know about that anymore though, there is certainly a lot more I can give and recommend about Destiny, this is just going to be an afterthought eventually.
Quietly jots Paimon down under the list of "Minions for Racist Weebs" along side Neco-Arc and Konata Izumi before uninstalling and freeing my computer of 47 gigabytes
This is just Zelda: BOTW but you have to pay for everything and the map is as empty as a barren wasteland
game's gorgeous, and the serenity of exploration really draws me in. vistas galore. combat's excellent and seems to get even more exciting as you gain access to new characters whose abilities you can combine to really do some damage... that said, the writing is pretty bland anime junk. common enemies are, er, dark-skinned bushmen the bland anime knights describe as "of low intelligence" in a really grating manner. even ignoring that, i'm not sure how i feel about the whole f2p gacha system, which throws all kinds of power and wealth at you from the start so there's no interesting ramping up of strength or skill. whatever, i guess? i'm just not sure what kind of longevity this has in a world where i can play things like breath of the wild, dragon quest ix, nier automata, final fantasy xiv, etc. just feels like the sort of thing that eventually leaves you feeling empty inside lol. and, again, that "accidental" tonedeaf racism keeps rearing its head... honestly, nah, this ain't for me. could've been, though.
The only thing I can theorise is the amount of years I'll get in prison for laying my hands on this filth.
You all only hate this game because Discord told you to
not really my type of game, so i'm going to avoid giving a star review, but oh my GOD.... i wish what game studios took away from Breath of the Wild wasn't "all gamers want is to pick stuff up off the ground for hours, gliding, and vaguely-Ghibli artstyles" and they instead took all of the things that actually made Breath of the Wild good
If you are a minor, self aware enough to know you're not good with money, or innocently unaware what this game's real purpose is; do not play it. At best, it's a pretty-looking time sink. At worst, it's a crippling gambling addiction that's financially ruined more than one person under its weight. Gambler's fallacy is a real thing, do not fall for it. They do not care about you.
Game from hell
I have genuinely played this game, this is not a joke at all, I think I made it to like AR45 a year ago. This game fucking sucks so much ass. Boring ass grind with damage sponge enemies. Flashy combat with no depth. Snooze fest story. You can't deny this game tries to mimic BOTW and it does not do a single thing better. Play a better game, NOW!
I like this game but can hoyo please add sex scenes I really want to have a gay threesome with Venti and Lyney. I didn't use 60 fucking gigabytes so I could read through hours of dialogue for a mediocre story with no skip button, Thanks.
breath of the wild for virgins
Zamn 😍 She's 12?
More like No Impact because this did nothing for me.
MiHoYo's guide to a mickey mouse game:
- soulless characters with generic & recycled designs
- dry ass story completely reliant on dropping the longest most boring exposition dumps of your life that never even go anywhere
- painfully verbose wall of text explaining some shit you already knew Paimon: So what you're SAYING is... says the same exact fucking thing again
- baby easy combat w/ no real endgame
- employees are probably overworked and rarely get to see their children
- gacha
- soulless characters with generic & recycled designs
- dry ass story completely reliant on dropping the longest most boring exposition dumps of your life that never even go anywhere
- painfully verbose wall of text explaining some shit you already knew Paimon: So what you're SAYING is... says the same exact fucking thing again
- baby easy combat w/ no real endgame
- employees are probably overworked and rarely get to see their children
- gacha
A very nice open world with an incredible amount of stuff to do, but this game's raison d'etre is milking you for money via a waifu slot machine, so they're deathly allergic to doing anything interesting with the game they've built on this chassis. People have already taken this game to task for the predatory nature of gacha mechanics, for openly aping Breath of the Wild's style (and doing it worse), etc., so I want to take this in a different direction and focus on what keeps the best parts of this game from being better:
Dungeons required for progression are locked behind a time-gated resource, with rewards that rotate based on the day of the week. The combat is serviceable and I could easily see myself grinding these dungeons if it let me (a la Diablo 3, spamming Nephalem/Greater Rifts). Many rewards are locked behind a story with countless unskippable, intrigue-less conversations - no human character that you actually see on-screen will do anything meaningfully villainous outside of the opening cutscene. It's a shame, too, because their writers have shown that they can actually create worthwhile stories in this universe - there's a fairly compelling storyline in Liyue about a lesser god whose kingdom collapsed around her, and it demonstrates the kind of stories that can fit in this world if you're not afraid of a character getting dirt on their clothes.
Every playable character is palatable, inoffensive, marketable anime slop. Male characters exist in three flavors: Twink, Tall Serious Guy, and Itto. Female characters represent a few more archetypes, but you're still not going to be blown away by the creativity on display here. Give me more varied characters, Mihoyo! You underestimate how horny people are - you can get way more adventurous than this and still have people dropping stupid amounts of money out of sheer thirst. Give me a silver fox character, give me a character with even 5% more body mass, give me an actual-ass evil character (not just assertive! I want evil!).
Why am I actually rolling for these characters, anyway? Optimal gameplay demands that I use one character 80% of the time, with the other 20% split between the remaining characters in my party - you swap them onto the field, trigger their abilities, and swap them out. Unless you're releasing a new character for the Main DPS role, there's no reason to give them interesting mechanics - not that this really happens anyway. Implementing new game mechanics is hard, and I acknowledge that, but Mihoyo has the money and the time to justify it. Currently, the most adventurous set of mechanics in the game belongs to Childe, whose abilities act as a stance system, swapping between ranged and melee - second place goes to Beidou who - wait for it - has a counter-attack on her basic ability. I'm hoping that with the eventual release of Lyney and Lynette we'll see a tandem character, but this would be radical compared to what's in the game now.
Genshin Impact has given me the worst gift possible by being a game that gives you valuable rewards for your time investment, but not interesting rewards. There's so much potential being left on the table here due to a complete dearth of ambition, but rough edges don't sell.
Dungeons required for progression are locked behind a time-gated resource, with rewards that rotate based on the day of the week. The combat is serviceable and I could easily see myself grinding these dungeons if it let me (a la Diablo 3, spamming Nephalem/Greater Rifts). Many rewards are locked behind a story with countless unskippable, intrigue-less conversations - no human character that you actually see on-screen will do anything meaningfully villainous outside of the opening cutscene. It's a shame, too, because their writers have shown that they can actually create worthwhile stories in this universe - there's a fairly compelling storyline in Liyue about a lesser god whose kingdom collapsed around her, and it demonstrates the kind of stories that can fit in this world if you're not afraid of a character getting dirt on their clothes.
Every playable character is palatable, inoffensive, marketable anime slop. Male characters exist in three flavors: Twink, Tall Serious Guy, and Itto. Female characters represent a few more archetypes, but you're still not going to be blown away by the creativity on display here. Give me more varied characters, Mihoyo! You underestimate how horny people are - you can get way more adventurous than this and still have people dropping stupid amounts of money out of sheer thirst. Give me a silver fox character, give me a character with even 5% more body mass, give me an actual-ass evil character (not just assertive! I want evil!).
Why am I actually rolling for these characters, anyway? Optimal gameplay demands that I use one character 80% of the time, with the other 20% split between the remaining characters in my party - you swap them onto the field, trigger their abilities, and swap them out. Unless you're releasing a new character for the Main DPS role, there's no reason to give them interesting mechanics - not that this really happens anyway. Implementing new game mechanics is hard, and I acknowledge that, but Mihoyo has the money and the time to justify it. Currently, the most adventurous set of mechanics in the game belongs to Childe, whose abilities act as a stance system, swapping between ranged and melee - second place goes to Beidou who - wait for it - has a counter-attack on her basic ability. I'm hoping that with the eventual release of Lyney and Lynette we'll see a tandem character, but this would be radical compared to what's in the game now.
Genshin Impact has given me the worst gift possible by being a game that gives you valuable rewards for your time investment, but not interesting rewards. There's so much potential being left on the table here due to a complete dearth of ambition, but rough edges don't sell.
bitches will be like "I only play it cause it's free" and then waste $300 trying to get a 5 star twink from the gacha
I feel like a degenerate
A gacha full of racism, coomer fans, toxic fans, fans who call men with no muscle mass shredded, truly the entire package of dogshit. It's better to be a serial killer than play this.
My firewall blocked this game
For your own sake, just play Star Rail instead. The "game" part of Genshin is so unbelievably dull and grindy, the only saving grace of this game is the presentation. Artstyle, character designs and music are very good, but it's just not fun to play as a game.
No anime woman is worth it
This game represents the worst practices of video games as an industry and the most mediocre vision as a media.
The main experience revolves around getting characters and then leveling them up in an endless repetitive farming cycle as with any soulless Diablo derivative successor (as Diablo III). You get those characters via a bullshit gacha system, you level up using a bunch of currencies you use to take part in some events that are crucial to getting that leveling up, limiting your freedom of action for an amount of time unless you pay. You get the deal, right?
And besides all that the game offers a vast world to be explored filled with adventures, or that's what one could think at first glance because it only serves to players recreation with a dull and mediocre little puzzle here and a repetitive mindless fight there.
As a final note, I'll say I find it shameless how it takes a lot of things from other games added so mindlessly and only to work as fanservice, as with the character design or narrative.
The main experience revolves around getting characters and then leveling them up in an endless repetitive farming cycle as with any soulless Diablo derivative successor (as Diablo III). You get those characters via a bullshit gacha system, you level up using a bunch of currencies you use to take part in some events that are crucial to getting that leveling up, limiting your freedom of action for an amount of time unless you pay. You get the deal, right?
And besides all that the game offers a vast world to be explored filled with adventures, or that's what one could think at first glance because it only serves to players recreation with a dull and mediocre little puzzle here and a repetitive mindless fight there.
As a final note, I'll say I find it shameless how it takes a lot of things from other games added so mindlessly and only to work as fanservice, as with the character design or narrative.
Doing my part
Genshit
I love boobies
Genshart imfart
evil