I hate you Justin Roiland.
bro how are you gonna be the most embarassing game of the year in the year with the corporate shaggy meme fighter đź’€
who cares if it's not out yet? the 25-minute preview we've been shown was fucking misery-inducing. I could barely slog through 5 minutes of the preview, let alone the other 4/5ths of it. it's Justin Roiland at his most unfunny and the prospect of playing a game where both your gun and your knife never shut the fuck up is a depressing one. there wasn't a single joke that made me crack a smile - the game seems to be going for the old "keep talking and talking and talking and eventually you'll seem funny" adage except they forgot the latter part of that proverb and just kept talking into the void, ad infinitum ad nauseum. the only hook this game has going for it is "lol, wouldn't it be FUCKIN HILARIOUS if, like, you were playing a shooter, and your GUN kept talking to you???", something that would barely even be all that funny in a five-second Rick and Morty gag let alone a five-to-eight-hour game (or longer, a scary thought).
So what if the game's not out yet? It already shot itself in the foot right from the get-go, and the talking gun character probably said: "ohhhh wow, look at you buddy, yeah you, uh, you shot yourself in the foot. You literally shot yourself in the foot, look at that! Most people, you know, most people, they just-- they just metaphorically do it, right? But no, you? You literally did that. You did that, wow. You're the-- this-- this is my master now, huh? You're the guy that's gonna be using me for the next few levels! What a life. What a life I live, man. Woe is me. Ugh, whatever, c'mon, let's take the next train to Glorbaflorbia and ride the Shick-Schnell line all the way to Dergaflop. Glerpscherp's waiting for us."
If that made you laugh unironically, then... I guess this game's made for you??? Hope you enjoy the edibles that'll probably definitely come packaged with this pandering piece of shit.
So what if the game's not out yet? It already shot itself in the foot right from the get-go, and the talking gun character probably said: "ohhhh wow, look at you buddy, yeah you, uh, you shot yourself in the foot. You literally shot yourself in the foot, look at that! Most people, you know, most people, they just-- they just metaphorically do it, right? But no, you? You literally did that. You did that, wow. You're the-- this-- this is my master now, huh? You're the guy that's gonna be using me for the next few levels! What a life. What a life I live, man. Woe is me. Ugh, whatever, c'mon, let's take the next train to Glorbaflorbia and ride the Shick-Schnell line all the way to Dergaflop. Glerpscherp's waiting for us."
If that made you laugh unironically, then... I guess this game's made for you??? Hope you enjoy the edibles that'll probably definitely come packaged with this pandering piece of shit.
" Why do these guns have beautiful dick sucking lips " - Detchibe
Guns are just a tool for killing in every other shooter, but that’s not how it is in developer Squanch Games’ High on Life. These tools of destruction talk with their mouths as much as their barrels, which fits the bizarre alien world imagined by Rick and Morty co-creator Justin Roiland. High on Life falls into some of the same comedic pitfalls as Roiland’s other work, but that perspective has led to one unique first-person shooter.
Read the full review here:
https://www.comingsoon.net/games/reviews/1254114-high-on-life-review-pc-worth-playing
Read the full review here:
https://www.comingsoon.net/games/reviews/1254114-high-on-life-review-pc-worth-playing
watched detchibe play it bc cold comfort said if detch did it in one sitting they would gift them pickle rick in fortnite
Cannot believe we allowed justin roiland to take 8 hours from us all. Was thoroughly insufferable and apparently plays like shit too. I hope he goes two hell
Cannot believe we allowed justin roiland to take 8 hours from us all. Was thoroughly insufferable and apparently plays like shit too. I hope he goes two hell
I only played two hours of this game but it is somehow the worst fucking game I've played in recent years. To the absolute piss poor performance to the absolute barrage of jokes in the game that somehow all manage to fucking bomb. It is insane how bad of a video you cannot make not just in the writing department but also in the actual just video game department. The mediocre gameplay wouldn't even be that bad if it wasn't for the rest of it. Why does this have the most frame dips I've played on a series X when it looks like a unity student game. No FOV slider with the awful camera made me almost want to just immediately quit the game out of motion sickness. The absolute just barrage of Justin Roiland doing his dumb shitty morty voice for the 50th time and me continuing just to play the game straight face. "Oh but you can turn off the dialogue on the gun!" yea but why is it so bad in the first place. If it's default then I assume it's an intended way to play. There was one joke that made me laugh in game and it was the character customization joke. Please for the love of god this game isn't even worth the "well it's on gamepass" because that was my reasoning. Please just go pickup a good game, if you want something with very meh writing pickup Neon White. Atleast that game gives you an amazing video game to play. I cannot reiterate how bad this game runs with the constant frame dips and general bad look. Do not play this game
high on mid actual dogshit game (after an update that made the game actually work and after playing it fully I can definitely say that it still sucks but its not THAT bad) (never fucking mind justin roiland is a piece of shit)
Justin Roiland has miserable, unfortunate intercourse with the Unreal Engine at sub-60 frames per second
Y'all thought it was sooooo funny when Wheatley and Glados kept incessantly spouting punchlines from your gun in Portal 2, yeah?
Well look at the consequences of your actions.
Well look at the consequences of your actions.
I don't normally judge a game within a few minutes, but that that few minutes is really all I needed to see.
I really wanted to give this game a fair chance before sniping it with the one-star, thinking maybe, just MAYBE it's not as bad as the marketing showed it out to be, but nah. Those first few sections past the "tutorial" are pure and utter irony-poison writing wise and I respectfully do not see it improving beyond "haha no-one loves you, haha aren't video game rules and physics so weird and stupid, haha isn't this is so weird and not aligned with reality at all, haha you're an awful person for doing a thing we're forcing you to do, haha we're not like other games we let you do this other awful thing". It made me feel genuinely null at a piece of media for the first time in a long while.
What makes games, movies, books, or even the most basic of basic stories compelling is emotions. The most cynical, edgy, gutter trash piece of storytelling you can probably think of is driven by emotions - scorn, misery, fury, despair. The most action-packed, twist-filled thriller you can think of is driven by emotion - thrills, tension, shock, awe. DOOM, a game with a plot you could write on one page, is driven by one emotion - rage. Even fucking Borderlands tries to portray basic emotions through (usually not) funny situations, and yet somehow High on Life even in the first few minutes COMPLETELY fails at doing this! All sincere emotion that even has the POTENTIAL of being built is replaced with an overexplained "funne meta" or half-baked self-deprecating joke that dismisses anything that you could possibly want to feel, even laughter because every joke treats the viewer like a child that can't use their brain properly.
Let me repeat myself. High on Life is less emotional - and less comedic - than fucking Borderlands.
What really pisses me off though is that someone within the next 2 years is gonna use this game is probably gonna be used as an example of "mature storytelling in gaming" at some point by some moron because it's graphic, like certain games of the 360/PS3 generation have.
The gameplay itself is probably fine past what I played, I thought it was decent when I wasn't being bombarded with miserable "comedy", but I genuinely don't care. It isn't getting anything above a one from me. Thank god for Game Pass.
Edit: Oh, and there's AI art in this game. Don't know why I expected even a baseline level of decency. Go fuck yourself, Justin Roiland.
I really wanted to give this game a fair chance before sniping it with the one-star, thinking maybe, just MAYBE it's not as bad as the marketing showed it out to be, but nah. Those first few sections past the "tutorial" are pure and utter irony-poison writing wise and I respectfully do not see it improving beyond "haha no-one loves you, haha aren't video game rules and physics so weird and stupid, haha isn't this is so weird and not aligned with reality at all, haha you're an awful person for doing a thing we're forcing you to do, haha we're not like other games we let you do this other awful thing". It made me feel genuinely null at a piece of media for the first time in a long while.
What makes games, movies, books, or even the most basic of basic stories compelling is emotions. The most cynical, edgy, gutter trash piece of storytelling you can probably think of is driven by emotions - scorn, misery, fury, despair. The most action-packed, twist-filled thriller you can think of is driven by emotion - thrills, tension, shock, awe. DOOM, a game with a plot you could write on one page, is driven by one emotion - rage. Even fucking Borderlands tries to portray basic emotions through (usually not) funny situations, and yet somehow High on Life even in the first few minutes COMPLETELY fails at doing this! All sincere emotion that even has the POTENTIAL of being built is replaced with an overexplained "funne meta" or half-baked self-deprecating joke that dismisses anything that you could possibly want to feel, even laughter because every joke treats the viewer like a child that can't use their brain properly.
Let me repeat myself. High on Life is less emotional - and less comedic - than fucking Borderlands.
What really pisses me off though is that someone within the next 2 years is gonna use this game is probably gonna be used as an example of "mature storytelling in gaming" at some point by some moron because it's graphic, like certain games of the 360/PS3 generation have.
The gameplay itself is probably fine past what I played, I thought it was decent when I wasn't being bombarded with miserable "comedy", but I genuinely don't care. It isn't getting anything above a one from me. Thank god for Game Pass.
Edit: Oh, and there's AI art in this game. Don't know why I expected even a baseline level of decency. Go fuck yourself, Justin Roiland.
Se Hitler e o diabo tivessem tido um filho
fetal alcohol syndrome
From the Fucked Up Mind of Justin Roiland comes; What if we made Dorkly into an actual video game. Now that's truly disturbing
This review contains spoilers
I've never watched Rick and Mortimer, but I do know some of the voice actors in this. So how bad could it be?
It feels like everyone reviewing this game is just going to give a 1/5 without actually playing the damn thing, so I decided try to beat this in one go to see what was up.
I'm first going to talk about the gameplay before I touch on story, which isn't the biggest thing I disliked overall. There is a setting as to how frequent you want your weapons to talk to you if you do end up getting annoyed by them while playing the game, and I sent it on occasion just to see what they would say instead of outright muting them.
This game feels like it wants to be something akin to ratchet and clank with the amount of weapons given, but even the trick actions (The secondary firing action of each weapon) feel very underwhelming, even on the hardest difficulty. The only times I got to see myself switch between weapons were during the bossfights, and that's because I was running around a room staying behind a pillar till I could regen my health again to shoot another "trick" shot. At least when using the knife your shield regens if you are killing any of the mobs you're fighting, minus the armored ants for whatever reason.
For my playthrough I mostly used the frog shotgun as he talked and felt more like a weapon that didn't annoy my ears every time I did an action.
On that note of the weapons, their versatility is pretty fine for the most part. You have the main morty pistol that shoots long/short range just fine with a gloop shot that forces people in the air, the shotgun frog that deals huge damage up close and has discs that you can shoot and reflect with knifey to repeatedly do damage at whatever you're fighting at, the "Needler" weapon has a longshot for a scope in and a free firing rapid fire mode from the hip with a time bubble that she can shoot at to slow enemies down, and lastly the minion launcher that is pretty much going to be your damage dealer for the rest of the bosses unless you want a bigger headache dealing DPS while you're running away in an arena. His main shtick is shooting minions and those said minions can deal damage over time to whatever they're stuck on, and his trick shot is shooting a purple minion that mind controls whatever enemy is stuck to it but dies after a while. There is one more weapon, but I'll get to it when I talk about the story, as you don't get him until the very end of the game.
So going back on gameplay, the gunplay feels like a mix of Halo and ratchet and clank and if you like executing a lot with the knife, a bit of doom eternal with the way you can execute enemies to regain back your shield. And you do this for the rest of the game with no changes to the loop. Shooting enemies felt pretty fun, and seeing their shields get knocked out was just as fun to see as well. Sadly the fun starts to stop when the bosses come up, as they can be a pain in the ass if you're not ready to keep dashing/roping around with the grapple in the air. As said before, I played on the hardest difficulty and I died a lot more than I thought on these bosses so if you're a huge gamer, I don't think you'll have too much of a hard time. For me, I just kept getting my ass kicked until I got through it finally.
Alright, gameplay and mechanics out. Time for the actual story discussion. It's Fine. The story is just the main character and his sister finding out there are aliens on earth all of a sudden, and our main character finds the morty pistol and decides to warp out of there using a teleporter that you snagged from an alien ship. Now you and the rest of the pistols that you find on your way are the only things capable in stopping the G3 head honcho, garmantuous or else the world is doomed. Sure you find gus and your sister arguing on occasion but this has absolutely no bearing on the story at all. None of the relationship discussions that you have with either one of them matter at all, and are only there to make you laugh. Or at least try to.
Sadly, the rest of the game's jokes are like this too, where they just overstay their welcome and at times, you can't even leave without hearing what whatever person has to say. The only time I got around to laughing was at some point in the game, Zach hadel's voice for a bear or whatever is cut in half and is dying on the floor, and he wants you to stay with him in his last moments alive, and any time you attempt to leave, he says "Cmon, you would leave me like that?" and it was just so hilarious hearing him get more and more annoyed as he's dying to see you walk away. I melee'd his character on accident so I didn't get to see the end of the bit sadly.
This game has sort of the deal that YIIK had going on when it was developed and people played it over time. "There is a game under all of this crap that they've made, and even if some of those features aren't all perfect, there is something fun here." I think High on Life has the same idea going for itself too, where it's just hampered by all of the writing and the overblown jokes. It's like playing through Borderlands 2 with the dialogue turned up while in a gunfight for the whole game. I enjoyed myself playing some parts of this game, and the gunplay was pretty fun too. But the story wasn't very new, and even when they give you the Ratchet and Clank equivalent of the RYNO, it was just rushing through just for the player to get to the final boss. I busted out laughing just wondering who thought putting a Nier Automata type of boss as the last boss was ok? Even the other bosses had something unique to them, and even with the second phase, garmantuous was just a pushover, you get a little heart to heart with morty as he's going to try and sacrifice himself, and then the big bad explodes but mortimer is still alive, then the game ends.
I sometimes felt whether I wasted my time with this game, but even after playing through it, I don't know what to think about it. The mix of crap and actually good gameplay ideas coming from this was just jarring to my brain.
I think this game is good for a one time playthrough, but I don't think I'll see myself digging it up from my library again. Good thing it's on game pass though at the time of writing this.
It feels like everyone reviewing this game is just going to give a 1/5 without actually playing the damn thing, so I decided try to beat this in one go to see what was up.
I'm first going to talk about the gameplay before I touch on story, which isn't the biggest thing I disliked overall. There is a setting as to how frequent you want your weapons to talk to you if you do end up getting annoyed by them while playing the game, and I sent it on occasion just to see what they would say instead of outright muting them.
This game feels like it wants to be something akin to ratchet and clank with the amount of weapons given, but even the trick actions (The secondary firing action of each weapon) feel very underwhelming, even on the hardest difficulty. The only times I got to see myself switch between weapons were during the bossfights, and that's because I was running around a room staying behind a pillar till I could regen my health again to shoot another "trick" shot. At least when using the knife your shield regens if you are killing any of the mobs you're fighting, minus the armored ants for whatever reason.
For my playthrough I mostly used the frog shotgun as he talked and felt more like a weapon that didn't annoy my ears every time I did an action.
On that note of the weapons, their versatility is pretty fine for the most part. You have the main morty pistol that shoots long/short range just fine with a gloop shot that forces people in the air, the shotgun frog that deals huge damage up close and has discs that you can shoot and reflect with knifey to repeatedly do damage at whatever you're fighting at, the "Needler" weapon has a longshot for a scope in and a free firing rapid fire mode from the hip with a time bubble that she can shoot at to slow enemies down, and lastly the minion launcher that is pretty much going to be your damage dealer for the rest of the bosses unless you want a bigger headache dealing DPS while you're running away in an arena. His main shtick is shooting minions and those said minions can deal damage over time to whatever they're stuck on, and his trick shot is shooting a purple minion that mind controls whatever enemy is stuck to it but dies after a while. There is one more weapon, but I'll get to it when I talk about the story, as you don't get him until the very end of the game.
So going back on gameplay, the gunplay feels like a mix of Halo and ratchet and clank and if you like executing a lot with the knife, a bit of doom eternal with the way you can execute enemies to regain back your shield. And you do this for the rest of the game with no changes to the loop. Shooting enemies felt pretty fun, and seeing their shields get knocked out was just as fun to see as well. Sadly the fun starts to stop when the bosses come up, as they can be a pain in the ass if you're not ready to keep dashing/roping around with the grapple in the air. As said before, I played on the hardest difficulty and I died a lot more than I thought on these bosses so if you're a huge gamer, I don't think you'll have too much of a hard time. For me, I just kept getting my ass kicked until I got through it finally.
Alright, gameplay and mechanics out. Time for the actual story discussion. It's Fine. The story is just the main character and his sister finding out there are aliens on earth all of a sudden, and our main character finds the morty pistol and decides to warp out of there using a teleporter that you snagged from an alien ship. Now you and the rest of the pistols that you find on your way are the only things capable in stopping the G3 head honcho, garmantuous or else the world is doomed. Sure you find gus and your sister arguing on occasion but this has absolutely no bearing on the story at all. None of the relationship discussions that you have with either one of them matter at all, and are only there to make you laugh. Or at least try to.
Sadly, the rest of the game's jokes are like this too, where they just overstay their welcome and at times, you can't even leave without hearing what whatever person has to say. The only time I got around to laughing was at some point in the game, Zach hadel's voice for a bear or whatever is cut in half and is dying on the floor, and he wants you to stay with him in his last moments alive, and any time you attempt to leave, he says "Cmon, you would leave me like that?" and it was just so hilarious hearing him get more and more annoyed as he's dying to see you walk away. I melee'd his character on accident so I didn't get to see the end of the bit sadly.
This game has sort of the deal that YIIK had going on when it was developed and people played it over time. "There is a game under all of this crap that they've made, and even if some of those features aren't all perfect, there is something fun here." I think High on Life has the same idea going for itself too, where it's just hampered by all of the writing and the overblown jokes. It's like playing through Borderlands 2 with the dialogue turned up while in a gunfight for the whole game. I enjoyed myself playing some parts of this game, and the gunplay was pretty fun too. But the story wasn't very new, and even when they give you the Ratchet and Clank equivalent of the RYNO, it was just rushing through just for the player to get to the final boss. I busted out laughing just wondering who thought putting a Nier Automata type of boss as the last boss was ok? Even the other bosses had something unique to them, and even with the second phase, garmantuous was just a pushover, you get a little heart to heart with morty as he's going to try and sacrifice himself, and then the big bad explodes but mortimer is still alive, then the game ends.
I sometimes felt whether I wasted my time with this game, but even after playing through it, I don't know what to think about it. The mix of crap and actually good gameplay ideas coming from this was just jarring to my brain.
I think this game is good for a one time playthrough, but I don't think I'll see myself digging it up from my library again. Good thing it's on game pass though at the time of writing this.
Reddit
what if he said 'aw jeez dick' that would be pretty funny i think
Justin Roiland and its consecuences have been a disaster for mankind
you can finally play borderlands without supporting randy pitchford
“from the mind of Justin Roliand”
no. no. we’re not doing this.
no. no. we’re not doing this.
the newest guantanamo bay torture device
Justin Roiland On Cusp Of Coming Up With Third Voice
oh the misery
I got softlocked by the game and I don't feel like replaying the 8 hours or so it took me to get to that point so I'm ending it here.
No this is not the case where I'm giving this game a 1 because of the soft locking (although if your game is 60 dollars and has softlocking in it that's just awful regardless), no I was gonna give this game a 1 for how unimaginably annoying almost every part of the game is. (Original rating I gave the game 1/10)
(UPDATE)- ok so I went back and actually finished the game. My opinion on the game overall is that it's just meh, its comedy is still annoying as fuck (and I like Rick and Morty); but the overall combat does get better once you have all the guns. It still feels like a shooter from 2004 but I don't inherently have an issue with that.
No this is not the case where I'm giving this game a 1 because of the soft locking (although if your game is 60 dollars and has softlocking in it that's just awful regardless), no I was gonna give this game a 1 for how unimaginably annoying almost every part of the game is. (Original rating I gave the game 1/10)
(UPDATE)- ok so I went back and actually finished the game. My opinion on the game overall is that it's just meh, its comedy is still annoying as fuck (and I like Rick and Morty); but the overall combat does get better once you have all the guns. It still feels like a shooter from 2004 but I don't inherently have an issue with that.
As the only clown on this website who has played the whole game (in one sitting right at release to secure a free Pickle Rick back bling in Fortnite), I can say with confidence High on Life is dreadfully weak. And that's a bit of a shame since it theoretically has good bones.
The most glaring problem is, of course, the dialogue. The pre-release comparison to Borderlands 3 is apt as characters literally do not cease their oral spew, and you are forced to listen to them before you can progress at key points. Borderlands has ameliorated this in part with the ECHOnet transmissions, keeping you apprised of plot elements as you messed about on Pandora. Save for key story moments, the dialogue therein is accompanied by your mad dash for loot and slaughter. High on Life quivers in its boots at the mere thought that you might miss a single phoneme. There is no means to skip dialogue. There is no opportunity to play the game when characters are talking. If you are not physically glued in place, you are locked in a distraction-less room. And should you dare to break from the tedium of a suburban hardwood floor and off-white walls by heading upstairs, you are scolded by your guns to pay attention. In a properly written, compelling narrative this would be fine, but a substantial chunk of the game is NPCs yammering incessantly. Fake arguments become auditory static, the white noise penetrated only by mention of racism, misogyny, or a cavalcade of 'fuck's. Does a holstered gun have something to say? Worry not, they'll speak to you over radio. That there is so much dialogue is rather interesting in and of itself, particularly seeing how your different weaponry will engage in conversations with NPCs, but there is not a moment where speech is not occurring. The only moment of respite is if you stay in place.
And some of the writing is passable, some even bordering on good. But it never comes out of Justin Roiland's many mouths. The closest I came to cracking a smile was when Zach Hadel, Michael Cusack, Rich Evans, Jay Bauman, Mike Stoklasa, or Tom Kenny was the focus. In a vacuum, some of their witticisms might have earned a chuckle or at least a considered exhale, but these moments are paltry oases after being duped by an infinitude of mirages. You know in your bones that a joke will not be allowed to stand on its own, and that Roiland or his other hack voice 'actors' will need to get their own two cents in. It is a Reddit comment thread not only in content, but in presentation, someone always retelling the above poster's joke but worse. In Roiland's world, stuttering is a feature, not a bug. His stammering makes Porky Pig seem eloquent. A one-take wonder.
"Is the gameplay good?" This question was asked more times than I can count during my marathon. As I emphatically repeated there, "no." There's a weightlessness to every second of combat that betrays the animations and premise of your guns being living things. There is more weight, more oomph, more impact to Spore's creature stage combat than there is to this gunplay. Your bullets genuinely feel as if they are lobbed foam balls. The only times at which there is some punch is when detonating sigh Sweezy's crystals with her charge shot. I can't tell if it's all a consequence of your enemies being shrouded in goop or not. Your shots take away the goop to expose their regular flesh, but this somehow imparts little feedback. Is it because there is so much flash and bedlam occurring that I can't even tell where and when my shots are landing? I have no idea. At the very least the juggling of enemies is semi-novel (even if it comes after Kenny begs lustfully for me to use his 'Trickhole'), and Creature is semi-satisfying if only because you can launch his children and go find a quiet[er] corner to recuperate mentally in. You get some basic manoeuvrability upgrade which makes this a Metr- Search Action game in some sense when coupled with returning to planets to find extra cash. You can upgrade your weapons and unlock modifiers for them but the changes are so minute I couldn't really tell how much of an impact they were having. What the mods do do is change the colour of your weapons. Given that so much of your screen real estate is occupied by their "beautiful dick-sucking lip" visages, this is the most substantial alteration you can make.
The music is like Temporary Secretary by Paul McCartney but bad.
Visually there is something of value here (in theory). While many of the alien inhabitants blend together with their amorphous sausage anatomies, the unique NPCs typically bear striking designs. Sweezy notwithstanding, the guns are cute as well, even if I feel Kenny is perpetually doing the Dreamworks smirk. Kenny and Gus' iron sights are adorable, and the way Gus clamps onto your hand indoors melts my heart. Creature reminds me of that Skylander that had the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon. Inoffensive! Until you see his actual full model and you realise he has three tits and a prolapsed anus for a barrel. And Gus looks like he has a turtle's cock.
Errant thoughts:
Boy howdy is there a lot of mpreg talk.
One of the scenes you can warp in is a movie theatre where you can watch all of Demon Wind with the RLM crew. That would be okay but I don't think the MST3K style commentary works for a film that belongs in a Best of the Worst episode. There's a reason why they show you fragments of them watching it, and why their film commentaries are for more compelling films.
There is so much overlapping of dialogue that I genuinely got a headache that intensified over the game. A horror during a Tylenol shortage in Canada.
I put more effort into gathering my thoughts than they did making this shit.
I wish that I had always been in a grave.
The most glaring problem is, of course, the dialogue. The pre-release comparison to Borderlands 3 is apt as characters literally do not cease their oral spew, and you are forced to listen to them before you can progress at key points. Borderlands has ameliorated this in part with the ECHOnet transmissions, keeping you apprised of plot elements as you messed about on Pandora. Save for key story moments, the dialogue therein is accompanied by your mad dash for loot and slaughter. High on Life quivers in its boots at the mere thought that you might miss a single phoneme. There is no means to skip dialogue. There is no opportunity to play the game when characters are talking. If you are not physically glued in place, you are locked in a distraction-less room. And should you dare to break from the tedium of a suburban hardwood floor and off-white walls by heading upstairs, you are scolded by your guns to pay attention. In a properly written, compelling narrative this would be fine, but a substantial chunk of the game is NPCs yammering incessantly. Fake arguments become auditory static, the white noise penetrated only by mention of racism, misogyny, or a cavalcade of 'fuck's. Does a holstered gun have something to say? Worry not, they'll speak to you over radio. That there is so much dialogue is rather interesting in and of itself, particularly seeing how your different weaponry will engage in conversations with NPCs, but there is not a moment where speech is not occurring. The only moment of respite is if you stay in place.
And some of the writing is passable, some even bordering on good. But it never comes out of Justin Roiland's many mouths. The closest I came to cracking a smile was when Zach Hadel, Michael Cusack, Rich Evans, Jay Bauman, Mike Stoklasa, or Tom Kenny was the focus. In a vacuum, some of their witticisms might have earned a chuckle or at least a considered exhale, but these moments are paltry oases after being duped by an infinitude of mirages. You know in your bones that a joke will not be allowed to stand on its own, and that Roiland or his other hack voice 'actors' will need to get their own two cents in. It is a Reddit comment thread not only in content, but in presentation, someone always retelling the above poster's joke but worse. In Roiland's world, stuttering is a feature, not a bug. His stammering makes Porky Pig seem eloquent. A one-take wonder.
"Is the gameplay good?" This question was asked more times than I can count during my marathon. As I emphatically repeated there, "no." There's a weightlessness to every second of combat that betrays the animations and premise of your guns being living things. There is more weight, more oomph, more impact to Spore's creature stage combat than there is to this gunplay. Your bullets genuinely feel as if they are lobbed foam balls. The only times at which there is some punch is when detonating sigh Sweezy's crystals with her charge shot. I can't tell if it's all a consequence of your enemies being shrouded in goop or not. Your shots take away the goop to expose their regular flesh, but this somehow imparts little feedback. Is it because there is so much flash and bedlam occurring that I can't even tell where and when my shots are landing? I have no idea. At the very least the juggling of enemies is semi-novel (even if it comes after Kenny begs lustfully for me to use his 'Trickhole'), and Creature is semi-satisfying if only because you can launch his children and go find a quiet[er] corner to recuperate mentally in. You get some basic manoeuvrability upgrade which makes this a Metr- Search Action game in some sense when coupled with returning to planets to find extra cash. You can upgrade your weapons and unlock modifiers for them but the changes are so minute I couldn't really tell how much of an impact they were having. What the mods do do is change the colour of your weapons. Given that so much of your screen real estate is occupied by their "beautiful dick-sucking lip" visages, this is the most substantial alteration you can make.
The music is like Temporary Secretary by Paul McCartney but bad.
Visually there is something of value here (in theory). While many of the alien inhabitants blend together with their amorphous sausage anatomies, the unique NPCs typically bear striking designs. Sweezy notwithstanding, the guns are cute as well, even if I feel Kenny is perpetually doing the Dreamworks smirk. Kenny and Gus' iron sights are adorable, and the way Gus clamps onto your hand indoors melts my heart. Creature reminds me of that Skylander that had the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon. Inoffensive! Until you see his actual full model and you realise he has three tits and a prolapsed anus for a barrel. And Gus looks like he has a turtle's cock.
Errant thoughts:
Boy howdy is there a lot of mpreg talk.
One of the scenes you can warp in is a movie theatre where you can watch all of Demon Wind with the RLM crew. That would be okay but I don't think the MST3K style commentary works for a film that belongs in a Best of the Worst episode. There's a reason why they show you fragments of them watching it, and why their film commentaries are for more compelling films.
There is so much overlapping of dialogue that I genuinely got a headache that intensified over the game. A horror during a Tylenol shortage in Canada.
I put more effort into gathering my thoughts than they did making this shit.
I wish that I had always been in a grave.
look at all those real gamers giving 1/10
PUNHETA MAL BATIDA
The one thing I know about this game is the "KILL THIS CHILD" (FUCKED UP!!!) (EPIC!!!) (GONE SEXUAL!!!) bit that was to show how this game has no boundaries but then I heard the person you kill is like 30 years old and looks like a child. Imagine failing to be edgy.
Clever, looks good, and feels good. The kind of single player game they don't really make anymore check it out
The gameplay isn't too bad but my god the humor in this reminds me of borderlands sometimes where it just gets super forced 90% of the time. If you love Rick and Morty though probs your jam.