92 reviews liked by Cybo


Absolute #1 highlight of 2023, games related and otherwise. Please do consider playing this if you have any interest in RPGMaker games whatsoever. It's worth everything. Or wait until it's actually finished, perhaps. I've typed about it more in-depth closer to back when I actually first played it, but can't replicate that here. Apologies.

Thief

2014

This game felt like going to see a Nirvana tribute band, only to find Kurt Cobain's mutilated corpse strung up by the overhead railing like a marionette, Fender Mustang bolted to the rotten meat that long ago were once his hands.

Marking as complete since I've finished what's currently out, but I'll update as more episodes release.

I'd somehow never heard of this game despite it apparently blowing up for being controversial, so I guess I'm not quite as online as I thought I was. A few days ago one of my friends sent me a picture of the male protagonist and told me it looked like me, a bunch of other friends in the group chimed in agreeing, and then one person told me Not!!! to relate to him because the guy was a cannibalistic freak. So naturally I looked up what the game was about and immediately played it.

First of all, there's incest in this game. If you've heard of it, you probably know that already, but if not, there's your warning. I believe it was initially a case of "it's optional, you only get it if you end up on a certain route", which is true to a degree, but the implications and comments are also there regardless of route, so if you're uncomfortable about it at all you're better off not playing it. The only 'optional' part is whether or not it actually goes in the direction of, uh... consummation.

Anyway, onto the actual content: I really dig the graphics. TCOAAL has an almost RPG Maker-esque pixel style, though the sprites are a little more detailed than RPGM's usually are, and the actual character portraits have a really nice, consistent look to them, with the thick white outlines and monochrome colours.

It contains puzzles, and they were pretty much the perfect level of difficulty for me - I enjoy puzzles that make me think, that stump me for a couple of minutes, but that aren't frustratingly hard to the point where I end up stuck on the same section for ages or have to look up a walkthrough. If you like your puzzles to be genuinely tricky, these will probably be too simple for you, but they catered to me pretty perfectly. There is one slightly bothersome dream section where you as Andrew have to get across a black void of a room by finding the right maze-like direction through the dark and making tiles appear, which wasn't difficult as much as it was just annoying to navigate, but it doesn't take long to get past.

If you like your characters to be redeemable and moral, this is definitely not the game for you. Both Ashley and Andrew, the protagonists, are varying degrees of Bad People, with Ashley being manipulative and sadistic, Andrew being apathetic and violent, and both of them being, well, cannibals and murderers. Their parents aren't much better, nor are the side characters who range from 'rude' to 'cartoonishly evil' such as the Toxisoda company, but I wasn't all that bothered by it seeing as I love a good villain protagonist.

The relationship between Andrew and Ashley is... pretty much what I expected going into it from what I'd read. Codependent, mutually toxic, obsessive, with incestuous undertones that become less undertones and more "yeah, this is where the story's headed" by the end of Episode 2 thanks to a future vision of them sleeping together. Not great, obviously, but it is an interesting dynamic to watch unfold in the space of horror fiction where it's unapologetically treated by both the narrative and those around them as fucked up and unhealthy. I gather most of the people crying "incest apologism!" about this game haven't actually played it, because it's not treated as the 'right' thing to do at all, with the narration actively warning you against the choices that take you there, and with it explicitly explained that their abusive and neglectful childhood probably resulted in their feelings in adulthood, as they had no one except each other, and that it caused that sibling protectiveness to become warped and possessive.

Some of the dialogue can be a little silly - Ashley, especially, is extremely openly crude, and she'll make sexual jokes and comments to the point of it being out of place sometimes in a way that doesn't seem intentional (that "Move your fat ass" "I think you mean my awesome fat tits" exchange comes to mind as being notably corny), but it's not as bad as I'd anticipated from other reviews. They're mentally fucked up young adults with sexual complexes and a complete lack of boundaries who talk the way you'd expect that kind of person to talk, really.

Anyway, I played it through with my fiancee and we both genuinely enjoy it so far. I'll be keeping up with updates/devlogs and hope to see the third episode out soon.

MFers be like "how does Nintendo keep doing it" and then you check the credits and the same people have been working on these games for 75 years instead of getting replaced every 6 months

Game’s probably okay idfk but it gets 5 stars for its legacy: an extremely funny wave of Starship Troopers discourse

The writing and lore is pretty good, the game looks and sounds great. But my god is it the most Mid roguelike there is. Runs either end right when they're getting good or end too soon at all, floor variation isn't nearly as wide as you'd think it should be, enemies don't scale with completion they stay the same the entire time, and 100% completion is locked behind beating that same identical tower 12ish times while fighting the same 9 generic enemies and 4 bosses again and again.

There's a whole lot of potential here. Enemies could have modifiers, floors could start meshing together, the tower could get bigger, the main story could last longer than FINISH ONE RUN. The color chips are fun, buying new subs and specials are great, and I'm absolutely still going to beat it with every weapon because goddamn it am I invested in those lesbians and Acht's story.

But gameplay wise my god does it need more.

Everyday an Orc throws a rock at me on the strider ride home because my eggs (I eat seven kwama eggs on my commute) smell so bad. If only he were to know, that I were nerevarine...

the ps3 wasn't a great console, but it's an excellent prison

The first time I played this I got lost in a cave for what felt like hours (but was probably like 50 minutes) looking for a tiny Dwemer puzzle box that was just sitting on some random non-descript shelf. It was infuriating, and every hand-holding follow-the-quest-marker dungeon in every Elder Scrolls game after that felt like a cheat.

one time while high i got the wrong bus home and i think this is where i ended up