Nognaught
2024
One of these
2019
I don’t know how else to talk about Yakuza 5 other than saying it might just be the biggest game ever made.
game b̴̢̃r̷͚͐0̷͚̕k̸͕͝è̵̲ on final boss
kind of staggering how little style there is here; there's barely any interesting variety between areas (with one exception); no standout setpieces (again, with one exception); the entire cast is boring as hell and the voice acting is ass (appreciate the inclusion of Persian though); the cutscenes are completely flavourless and even the glossy impact frames are lame at best and entirely inscrutable at worst; and all of this is paired with some of the most milquetoast powers to hit the genre - oh wow, you got a dash AND a double jump, now THIS IS GAMING - and truly heinous boss fight design.
that being said, the combat's slick and i appreciate that there are 5 useful amulets that let me kill everything in a couple hits. umm, also i suppose it's a metroid-vania, so i guess it gets a positive review for that alone.
Ubisoft saw Nintendo release a gorgeous, incredibly tight, largely linear, and highly polished Metroid game and decided to rip it off, but avoided any lawsuits by making it look bland, have exploration be meaningless for the first 5 hours and then do what feels like clean up for the next 10, and holding it all together with string (final boss and final power separately got softlocked so, i guess that's it)
kind of staggering how little style there is here; there's barely any interesting variety between areas (with one exception); no standout setpieces (again, with one exception); the entire cast is boring as hell and the voice acting is ass (appreciate the inclusion of Persian though); the cutscenes are completely flavourless and even the glossy impact frames are lame at best and entirely inscrutable at worst; and all of this is paired with some of the most milquetoast powers to hit the genre - oh wow, you got a dash AND a double jump, now THIS IS GAMING - and truly heinous boss fight design.
that being said, the combat's slick and i appreciate that there are 5 useful amulets that let me kill everything in a couple hits. umm, also i suppose it's a metroid-vania, so i guess it gets a positive review for that alone.
Ubisoft saw Nintendo release a gorgeous, incredibly tight, largely linear, and highly polished Metroid game and decided to rip it off, but avoided any lawsuits by making it look bland, have exploration be meaningless for the first 5 hours and then do what feels like clean up for the next 10, and holding it all together with string (final boss and final power separately got softlocked so, i guess that's it)
2023
gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous
but also, not sure any of it is deep enough to keep me going
but also, not sure any of it is deep enough to keep me going
2024
one of these days there's going to be a survival game that's actually playable on controller and wasn't made by the "nintendo hire this man"-man and it will take over the world
Bigger and bolder than the original in every way, yet somehow, navigating these hour-long labyrinths feels far more cohesive and comprehensive than anything before.
Weaving back into old battle arena’s with new toys only to be ambushed by an insane number of enemies lends it an almost Metroid-quality; but the game never pushes back, never says ‘maybe later,’ it always meets you where your at in the moment
Weaving back into old battle arena’s with new toys only to be ambushed by an insane number of enemies lends it an almost Metroid-quality; but the game never pushes back, never says ‘maybe later,’ it always meets you where your at in the moment
Every step we have made, as a people, away from the Nintendo DS has been the actions of fools.
All you need is the graphical power to animate the most extravagant movements ever put to wire-frame, the screen resolution to keep it blocky as hell, and a second screen to show the logo the whole time. Can't imagine it would look as good on the remasters.
I'd say it's a shame it took me a year to finally finish this, but i could have been waiting a lot longer #missileGOAT
All you need is the graphical power to animate the most extravagant movements ever put to wire-frame, the screen resolution to keep it blocky as hell, and a second screen to show the logo the whole time. Can't imagine it would look as good on the remasters.
I'd say it's a shame it took me a year to finally finish this, but i could have been waiting a lot longer #missileGOAT
2019
Who needs well written characters, or interesting narrative arcs, or well paced events, or complex gameplay depth when the menus look this good!
I love the idea of making this more than a documentary and really leveraging the medium.
But it’s also mostly just short documentaries that aren’t amazingly produced, interspliced with what feels like random quotes from the diary.
Unfortunately, even the ingenious parts like overlapping the sprites with recorded video and traces is clunky and has you going across the menu to see the next stage, instead of it all being integrated together.
But there’s a lot great here and I’m really looking forward to seeing where the Gold Series goes from here. Just hoping we’ll see more innovation and less iteration
But it’s also mostly just short documentaries that aren’t amazingly produced, interspliced with what feels like random quotes from the diary.
Unfortunately, even the ingenious parts like overlapping the sprites with recorded video and traces is clunky and has you going across the menu to see the next stage, instead of it all being integrated together.
But there’s a lot great here and I’m really looking forward to seeing where the Gold Series goes from here. Just hoping we’ll see more innovation and less iteration
2021
feels good to move around, and thats all you can really hope for this kind of game.
2023
I played this while back home for Chrissy.
Don’t forget to thank your mom, and maybe cook a meal with her
Short and incredibly sweet, with a gorgeous soundtrack of chill Tamil beats to cook/cry to
Don’t forget to thank your mom, and maybe cook a meal with her
Short and incredibly sweet, with a gorgeous soundtrack of chill Tamil beats to cook/cry to
2023
i believe this is what they call # gaming
2023
for the love of god zoom the camera out. I know the switch struggles sometimes, but this isn't a gamegear game, you're allowed to show something 3 meters infront of the fast blue guy
2023
what do you mean this is 30 hours
2023
in the character character: "today we're going to Fairfield Mall as i become a little character named Karl Havoc. Suffice to say, Karl's a lot!
5 minutes later: "i'm not doing it, i don't even want to be around anymore."
5 minutes later: "i'm not doing it, i don't even want to be around anymore."