13 reviews liked by Sabrina


When Demon’s Souls released in 2009, I was going through a pretty hard crisis of faith regarding videogames. I had grown old enough to finally see their limits, the industry-imposed repetition and condescention in their design, the corners that have to be cut and padded. I blindly took the advice from a few raving cynics I aligned myself with and imported Demon’s Souls from America as a last shot before I defiantly moved on from the medium like the little drama queen I was. DeS was exactly the game I needed, I had never played anything else like it, I had my mind shattered by the way the bosses in the title weren’t so much battles as they were puzzle boxes - imposing small situations to solve, being asked to find the lone small thread that will make the beast unravel. It felt like a NeverEnding Story adventure or something, I loved it, I still do.

With every new Fromsoft game, Hidetaka Miyazaki takes the opportunity to twist the dial even further from Adventure Fantasy to Battle Fantasy, the focus becoming more oriented around a type of mechanisation I personally find diagnostic-feeling, much less fulfilling - stat optimising and gear building, rote memorisation of excruciatingly difficult boss movesets. Very disenchanting open world too; everything in every corner is there to make your character more powerful, a handful of “types” of dungeon/outpost, a truly memetic core routine that made me feel like I was just playing Genshin Impact. This is obviously just a preference thing, but you must forgive me for feeling a little left behind.

There is a lot beauty in Elden Ring’s world, if I had anyone to thank for giving me the desire to trudge through this game to the end, it’ll be the stellar art and design team. Some of the most stunning locales I’ve seen in a minute; I’m particularly fond of miquellas haligtree, crumbling farum azula, and even revisiting Radahn’s arena post-battle for a taste of what I’d personally hoped exploring Elden Ring’s open world would feel like. The monster designs are nuts too, some skirting the perfect balance between recognisable and grotesque to lend some genuine unease.

Elden Ring is a fantastic game, just not a game for me. It actually gives me a little tinge of sadness to play a Fromsoft title and be made to think “this reminds me of another game” so many times. I respect the player-hostility maximalism of the bosses and the dizzying open-endedness of character builds - and in all honestly, Elden Ring very clearly has some of the richest thematic storytelling across the Miyazaki platter right now - I would just rather watch people snap the game over their knee on Youtube than ever play this again.

2024 Addendum long after the point of writing: I'm not exactly comfortable with my "eh it's not really for me" take being among the top reviews for this game. I use this site as a personal journal more than a platform for formal academic reviews; ultimately I'm glad that I'm not alone in my perspective, but we all know how Souls fans act, and believe me I'm not pissing all over your holy object - I'm bemoaning the fact that I've felt this illustrious series slip through my fingers and take the form of something I can no longer care for.

Okay, you can't dress Link up like a girl in this one. But a cutscene of him being grabbed by mechanical tentacles happens multiple times and that's probably the next best thing for you people.

The developers could have hidden a new Star Fox game on the Game Over screen, and nobody would ever find out.

This is a hard game, but not in, like, difficulty or anything. It's hard because it hits really close to home in a lot of ways, especially if you're from a small, economically depressed rust belt town not unlike Possum Springs. This game captures the zeitgeist in a way that I can't really say I've seen elsewhere, and it does so admirably, but in a way that made me cry a lot, so. You know. I'm predisposed to really love this game based on that alone.

In a hypothetical scenario where it didn't speak to me as much as it very definitely does, there's still plenty to recommend the game. It doesn't pull its punches at all, but it's also funny as heck and the mystery is pretty fun to unravel, too. The main cast is great, but you'll also probably find yourself checking in with all the people around town after every plot event just to see what they're all up to.

In terms of more video game-y things, the art style is extremely charming and the music is great. I've gotta admit that I was really happy to get this for the Switch and play it, because I really didn't like trying to do the platforming with my keyboard... that's more of a me problem, though. It's genuinely pretty fun trying to platform around town and walk on telephone lines.

Anyway, this is a definite recommend for me. You probably should be in the right headspace for it, of course, but it's a great experience. It is kind of hopeful at the end, in its own way, and I feel like it's the kind of game that works especially well in these trying times.

If you've ever been a depressed and aimless 20 year old overwhelmed by a life that isn't what you expected or wanted, you can probably relate to Mae Borowski.

I have a fondness for the idea of games that are more like places where you can hang out (I think it’s Animal Crossing’s best idea), and this game feels that way. The town of Possum Springs feels genuinely inhabited, and Mae's relationships to her friends feel as real, loving, difficult and damaged as real friendships are. The writing deftly handles the way that relationships drift and decay and can never return to what they were, but importantly, they retain the potential to blossom in different and possibly better ways. People can’t stay the same forever, so it’s nearly impossible for their relationships to.

One thing I love about this game is how gently and unexpectedly it approaches difficult subjects. It's a game about decay and loss, but it's just as much a game about hope and community. Ultimately it's about the necessity of hope and community in the face of despair, anxiety, fear, and a world that often seems terminally ill. It's also one of the only games I know of that's overtly about the damage caused by capitalism, the way it makes everything homogenous as it crushes individuals under its heel. The nihilism of capitalism has infected the town, as it infects everywhere, and the environment it creates affects everyone in one way or another.

But, also, the strengths of Night in the Woods don't stop at the narrative. Just in terms of play, this game is really fun! So many things are satisfyingly interactive. Leaves blow in your path as you frolic in autumnal delight. Telephone wires bow and twang in an incredibly pleasing manner as you balance upon them in the fresh morning air. You can jump up and down on your neighbor's car for no reason, and you’ll want to, because everything in this game feels so good. There are fun little minigames about moving furniture or smashing light bulbs or looking at stars with a cool old dude or hanging out with your mom. I’d also be remiss not to mention it’s the funniest game I’ve played other than Butterfly Soup. Night in the Woods proves that a charming and generous sense of play is no less engaging than dense mechanics.

This is a game I fully expect to return to occasionally for the rest of my life.

What I Look For In a Life Partner: stereotypically Italian, makes pizza and knows how to perform a spinning piledriver.

You know what I'm tired of? Player characters who only do wimpy attacks like jumping on their enemies, or swiping with their dinky-ass little broadswords. What are ya gonna do with that buster sword? Tickle me to death? I'm here to grapple with every goddamn thing I see, and uppercut them through the ceiling straight into other enemies, initiating a combo and gaining points like an even more sadistic version of bowling. Like a demented pizza-making freight train I dash around colliding into everyone like an Ed Edd n' Eddy character straight outta Hell with nothing to lose. I do a sick body splash too. You see that stupid sunglasses-wearin' pineapple guy? I'm gonna beat the daylights outta him. I hate him! He ruins every pizza he touches! I'm gonna smash you into the ground Pineapple Man!!! BOOM! POW! SMACK!

BRUTALITY IS ME! I AM THE BRUTALIZER!

It kind of goes without saying what Pizza Tower is attempting to mimic. I mean, you know why I'm playing this, and I know why you're probably interested in it. Hell, it even has a golf stage perhaps as an allusion to the third game. Mario is jealous! He is so mad that Wario has better games than him! He can't take it anymore! He politicked to Nintendo and made Wario sit behind a desk to develop microgames for wee ant babies, while Mario continued to hog the spotlight! Denying us more pure Wario games with shoulder charging and butt smashing action! Say no more though, because a wacky Italian pizza chef straight out of some kind of What A Cartoon-ass 90s era CN show is here to deliver the good shit.

In the case of whether you're wondering if it pulls it off well, I personally think it passes with multiple flying colors of some sort. I would even go as far as to say it adds enough to become it's own identity regardless of it's painfully obvious inspiration. Peppino is a big-time brawler that I mesh with as well as tomato sauce and mozzarella, and just when you think the transformations are gonna start repeating they instead just keep cranking out more. Well, except near the end, they kinda go overboard on a certain one involving a semi-ranged weapon that people tend to hate in multiplayer. Still pastrami cool though, and it's gonna be really satisfying once you start making this game your main squeeze and master it to the nth degree.

THE CHECKLIST:
•Heavyweight character move-set with professional wrestling moves [X]
•Collecting shit, but not too much shit. [X]
•Blast Processing [X]
•Sick Boss Fights [X]
•Cartoon Aesthetic [X]

Yup, that's a bunch of boxes checked. Vee is in love maybe. Pizza Tower, I choo-choo-choose you to be my Valentine. Swoon

level design tighter than the chokehold microsoft is keeping rare in

wow they made a video game about me

in all seriousness I'm not sure how good this game would be to someone who can't relate to it, but I found it painfully relatable at times as someone who took solace in anime from dysphoria in my formative years.

thought this was a vr game but no its actually just my own life