Soarel
2015
HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE FGO SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR FGO AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.
This is actual kino in every sense of the word but you should read it purely due to the fact it features a character who fights near-invincible magical Nazis that can destroy cities by doing meth and shooting them with a deagle. Also Valerian Trifa.
The sign is a subtle joke. The shop is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed", where feed and seed both end in the sound "-eed", thus rhyming with the name of the owner, Sneed. The sign says that the shop was "Formerly Chuck's", implying that the two words beginning with "F" and "S" would have ended with "-uck", rhyming with "Chuck". So, when Chuck owned the shop, it would have been called "Chuck's Fuck and Suck".
2016
This is an alt history fanfic platform disguised as a grand strategy game
2019
Actually fantastic and one of the best in its series alongside 5 special. Now fix the damn netcode already
1996
can't spell france without rance
The retroactive insertion of MGS2's gameplay mechanics into MGS1's level design completely ruins the balance of the original game and makes for a less fun experience. The graphics are less charming than the low-poly original and the music and voice acting are a lot less iconic. One thing I DON'T think is worse are the cutscenes, though -- are you seriously complaining that a METAL GEAR game is over the top? That shit's great lmao
1996
The puzzles in this are needlessly obtuse and it's basically unplayable without a guide, but no other game has an atmosphere quite like this, using the unsettling uncanny valley nature of FMV games to its advantage in creating a black comedy folk-horror that pokes fun at the zeitgeist of the 90s and ultimately the moral panic around video games.
This game is actual dogshit. Within the first 5 seconds of gameplay you jump for the first time and just know this is what the game's gonna be from here on out. At least it's nice looking visually at times.
2005
This game is actually a pretty fun if not super memorable hack and slash unlike the 1st. Unfortunately as Drakengard minus Yoko Taro the game's story is totally forgettable tripe. At least Caim is pretty cool in it
It's Souls without Miyazaki, without the core visual identity and polish the series is known for, but I can't help but respect a lot of the ideas (it had the best weapon upgrade and PVP systems in the series, Soul Memory aside). Not to mention, despite some weak lore, the core existentialist story this game tells is really resonant, even compared to the other Souls games. Deeply flawed but respectable nonetheless.
Is the lore a bit thin in places compared to its predecessors? Yeah. Are rolls just a little too forgiving, and magic just a little too weak? Yup. Are some bosses punishing and artificially difficult endurance tests created as the product of From wholeheartedly buying into Dark Souls' misleading "hard game" marketing? Yes. But is it a fun and rewarding Souls experience despite all of that? You bet your ass!
Another classic, perfect game that just nails everything it tries to do and a shining example of "less is more". Every minimalist "cinematic" game that thinks it's a movie is trying to be this game, and they all fail where it triumphed.
2020
Want to play a good game from 2009, but with the art style and music butchered beyond belief in favor of a "Nintendo hire this man" AAA/Hollywood aesthetic, every last drop of SOVL sucked out, and all of the flaws and jank the original had that could've been cleaned up left intact? Well here comes Demon's Soulless!
The best Souls game by a hard margin. It totally lacks any of the rough edges or caveats that all the others -- fantastic as they are -- come with, it's just perfect in every way, from gameplay, to controls, to story/lore, to level design, to bosses, to visual presentation, to music. The only bad things I can say about it are that the Arcane stat is a bit underpowered, and the Chalice Dungeons as a concept just plain aren't very good, but neither of those detracts at all from the main experience.