SuperCanon
2024
PS1
Poverty's Back Baby!
1998
As it turns out, the general public perception of racing games has a lot more in common with how horror games are evaluated than it does with other "sports" genres.
1997
A Blue Lock game like this would be so freaking Good duuuuude.
1999
This game FUCKS. It Fucks Vigorously. It Fucks like it's on a Mission. This game Fucks like humanity has gone extinct and it has to repopulate the earth.
Too bad it was infertile and we never got to see its little sequel babies.
Too bad it was infertile and we never got to see its little sequel babies.
If this game actually looked like the art on the cover it would have replaced a good chunk of my personality.
God wishes he were me.
2019
This is probably the most deranged criticism I've ever leveled against a game, but it feels like this game was designed by people who didn't love Beat em Ups enough.
It's just bizarre to play a game that feels like it wants nothing.
I sure do want something tho, and that is to rip this game open, drain all its visuals out into an abandoned olympic sized swimming pool, and swim in it until I am a ball of wrinkled skin wrapped around hollowed bones.
It's just bizarre to play a game that feels like it wants nothing.
I sure do want something tho, and that is to rip this game open, drain all its visuals out into an abandoned olympic sized swimming pool, and swim in it until I am a ball of wrinkled skin wrapped around hollowed bones.
1995
Do dash cancel infinites as a girl who pronounces it "Cawfee." Clearly the greatest game ever made.
1989
Imagine being so transphobic you actually loop back around into breaking new ground for trans characters in all of pop culture.
Monster Prom (2018): Win a coin flip 10 times in a row for a chance at seducing Polly. (Someone said there’s like, Seven other love interests?? Pretty sure they were messing with me.) Should have had some mini games.
Monster Camp (2020): Win a coin flip 10 times in a row for a chance at seducing Aaravi. (People keep talking about all these other choices but??? I genuinely have no idea what they're talking about.) But no, Seriously, this would have Killed with some micro games, WarioWare style.
Monster Roadtrip (2022): A genuinely interesting digital board game, with tons of meaningful choices and some really fun writing; Can You Believe It! Doesn’t even need the mini games anymore.
(Still tho, how cool would it have been if the driving part was like Outrun?)
Monster Camp (2020): Win a coin flip 10 times in a row for a chance at seducing Aaravi. (People keep talking about all these other choices but??? I genuinely have no idea what they're talking about.) But no, Seriously, this would have Killed with some micro games, WarioWare style.
Monster Roadtrip (2022): A genuinely interesting digital board game, with tons of meaningful choices and some really fun writing; Can You Believe It! Doesn’t even need the mini games anymore.
(Still tho, how cool would it have been if the driving part was like Outrun?)
2011
I don't know, I feel like maybe if the optimal way to experience your story mode is on Youtube, where you can watch it on x1.5 speed while eating a sandwich, and not have to sit through pointless annoying CPU fights using characters you don't like or know how to play; then it Might be a bit of a problem?
The leather in my cowardly blood cries out agonizing screams of joy as I slipstream boost past the dumb ass tuners and sports cars in my cruiser. Catching the right end of a ramp going 200 miles per hour, I rise up 50 feet in the air and fire off a Nitrous boost to keep myself there just a second longer through the magical power of video game unrealism, with my Motörhead playlist blaring in the background, drowning out my troublesome inner thoughts of "Dude, you should Totally buy a bike."
2008
The other modern Personas got huge updates that massively improved their gameplay and stories, and Persona 4 got
persona 4 got golden.
There is a water sports joke here that I will not make.
persona 4 got golden.
There is a water sports joke here that I will not make.
they gave the mud monsters boobs