SuperCanon
1999
This game FUCKS. It Fucks Vigorously. It Fucks like it's on a Mission. This game Fucks like humanity has gone extinct and it has to repopulate the earth.
Too bad it was infertile and we never got to see its little sequel babies.
Too bad it was infertile and we never got to see its little sequel babies.
1999
I'm mad. I'm so mad. People have been Lying about this game for over two decades and I fucking believed them, like a fucking idiot. I'm so dumb.
THIS GAME IS BETTER THAN DMC 1 AND IS BY FAR THE BEST N64 GAME, PROBABLY THE BEST 5TH GEN ACTION GAME, PERIOD. The action has a good range of options that all feel appropriately weighty, The movement and platforming have a nice sense of speed while still being brutal and tight like the OG games, and the quest design is god tier for its time, at least in the console space.
Why did you do this internet. Why. I am LIVID. Holy shit.
THIS GAME IS BETTER THAN DMC 1 AND IS BY FAR THE BEST N64 GAME, PROBABLY THE BEST 5TH GEN ACTION GAME, PERIOD. The action has a good range of options that all feel appropriately weighty, The movement and platforming have a nice sense of speed while still being brutal and tight like the OG games, and the quest design is god tier for its time, at least in the console space.
Why did you do this internet. Why. I am LIVID. Holy shit.
1989
Imagine being so transphobic you actually loop back around into breaking new ground for trans characters in all of pop culture.
1986
If Super Mario Bros. (1985) was Game Design learning to speak, CastleVania (1986) was its sexual awakening.
2000
Vivid images of a Legends 3 with Vanquish (2010)'s Gameplay flash into my head, leaving me blind to life's reality, as I wander into the street and get run over by a car.
This game made me think about Hard Corps: Uprising (2011). Which made me Imagine a timeline where we got an ArcSys developed CastleVania.
With a Daisuke designed Belmont. And Daisuke renditions of all the classic CastleVania songs.
And now I'm sad. Fuck this game it made me sad.
With a Daisuke designed Belmont. And Daisuke renditions of all the classic CastleVania songs.
And now I'm sad. Fuck this game it made me sad.
1991
My Sprites? Ugly.
My Colors? Drab.
My Music? Boring.
My Sound Effects? Won't even Hear it.
My Combat? Piss Easy.
My Level Design? Long and Annoying.
My Story? A Rehash.
My Name? SUPER CASTLEVANIA IV™
Let's Get It.
My Colors? Drab.
My Music? Boring.
My Sound Effects? Won't even Hear it.
My Combat? Piss Easy.
My Level Design? Long and Annoying.
My Story? A Rehash.
My Name? SUPER CASTLEVANIA IV™
Let's Get It.
2003
This was the first game in the franchise that I played, and my 5 year old self thought it was the coolest shit ever, and wished that one day they'd get good enough to beat it. Frankly I haven't had a more intelligent thought about the game since, so I'll just leave it at that.
Your favorite Fighting Game Devs' favorite Fighting Game.
2006
You know how in gastronomy, a food's pungent and foul odor can actually improve its taste?
Devil May Cry 2 (2003): 1.7 million units in life time sales
Devil May Cry 3 (2005): 1.3 million units in life time sales
Need I say more?
Devil May Cry 3 (2005): 1.3 million units in life time sales
Need I say more?
Comparing the rest of the series to this is like comparing an Atari 2600 game to a SNES game.
Bu-but no Tyris... 😢
Bu-but no Tyris... 😢
2020
I would Literally Let Jill Valentine Kill me, and I still think this game sucks.
The leather in my cowardly blood cries out agonizing screams of joy as I slipstream boost past the dumb ass tuners and sports cars in my cruiser. Catching the right end of a ramp going 200 miles per hour, I rise up 50 feet in the air and fire off a Nitrous boost to keep myself there just a second longer through the magical power of video game unrealism, with my Motörhead playlist blaring in the background, drowning out my troublesome inner thoughts of "Dude, you should Totally buy a bike."
It's So Cute I wanna pinch its cheeks.