For at least 3 years at school, the in-joke “Pimp My Ride for the PlayStation 2” cropped up once and again in my friendship group. One of my friends loves collecting old games, and games he already owns for some reason (multiple copies for steam, emulation, and consoles). This includes the videogame tie-in to the titular show hosted by “Xzibit”, the subject of this review. My friend owned this game and for years we joked about how ridiculous the phrase “Pimp My Ride for the PS2” is, occasionally studying the box art like we were giddy 10 year olds in Gamestop. One miraculous birthday of his (this was genuinely life changing) we actually played the game for the very first time by taking it in turns. What a treat it was. Then for my birthday (he’s one day younger than me so it must have been the next year) he gifted me this game to play on my Wii U. Owning this game myself felt akin to what lost media fanatics must experience after searching for years. This was my Roman Empire, my 130 minute cut of The Magnificent Ambersons. Today was my first time touching my copy while I downloaded some games on my Xbox (because really, how else do I spend the wait?)

I put the disc in, got to the startup menu, which Wii fans will know is usually home to nice music and graphics. Instead, nothing but the logo appears, with the words a second time in Arial font right above. The background is white. Xzhibit says “we’re gonna pimp your ride”. Complete silence. No music.

The in-game menu music is a 20 second song that stops playing for 10 seconds instead of looping.

Pimp My Ride for the Nintendo Wii is the most raucously funny game I’ve ever experienced. I wish Backloggd let you ‘like’ things separately to the rating (as Letterboxd does), because there really is no better way to express this game than a one star with a heart. Pimp My Ride for the Nintendo Wii is the most comically, absurdly awful game I’ve ever seen. “So bad it’s good” movies a la The Room are funny because of how hard they’re trying and how far they’re missing. “So bad it’s good” videogames are funny because the amount of stupid design decisions that snowball over several hours until you’re overwhelmed, wondering how this could ever have been made. The Infested Chopper in Devil May Cry 2 is funny because every time you think it’s over, it just keeps going. Pimp My Ride for the Nintendo Wii is funny because everything is the exact same shitty rhythm minigame. Calling it a “rhythm minigame” is an insult to even the most broken Friday Night Funkin mod. You complete the same button press over and over, with a century between each input. This causes your character to dance which raises money, I guess. That’s the whole minigame. And that’s the best minigame. Cruise Control is just holding down a button. “Ghost Ride The Whip” is an iconic phrase, at least.

In Pimp My Ride, there are no cars. There are whips. You don’t “fix ‘er up”, you pimp your ride. Pimp My Ride has somewhat funky music (when it randomly plays something good), which makes the most entertaining part of this game cruising around the map, even if there’s nothing to do.

The game is split into two distinct stages:
The first half of gameplay is choosing a whip, driving to waypoints to do shitty minigames until you raise enough money to Pimp Your Ride (for the Nintendo Wii). It’s easy, boring, but funny in an absurd way. You can’t even run people over because they’ll teleport out of the way. Giant XXXX’s block your way to the rest of the map.

Then, once you’ve raised enough money by repeating the 3 boring ass minigames, you can actually Pimp Your Ride (for the Playstation Portable). You get to see the glorious character models which have no mouth movement. Then, you have to go back around the map and pick up parts with an actually strict timer. Seriously, the game goes from dead easy to insanely demanding as you have to race against your rival. The contrast between Autopilot playing the first half and something that resembles a videogame is hilarious. It’s still awful though.

Overall, this was a complete waste of my time because my games had finished downloading by the time I had started playing. It wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining without my weird friendship lore building it up over several years.

It's really interesting reflecting on this season nearly 2 years later. This was Donald Mustard's final season as the 'loremaster' of the game, and you can tell because everything made afterwards seems to have nothing to do with what was being built up to. I know Fortnite and narrative might not cross a lot of people's minds, but I really appreciated the purpose it gave to each map change and new gameplay element. My friend filled me in on what I missed from Chapter 1 Season 5 - Chapter 2 Season 6, and Chapter 3 Season 2 felt really story focused with the war between the factions and all the tanks and blimps and stuff. During the end event where Slone was seemingly killed, and Jonesy+Dwayne Johnson went off to fight the true villain from the EU, it really felt like a huge milestone in the story had been met and that we were nearing a conclusion or 2nd arc. Immediately after that, this season felt like a filler episode of sorts, as nothing happened for months. Turns out that those story threads would never get resolved in any meaningful way. Furthermore, this season teased the future in terms of collabs and reception: Darth Vader, Dragonball items, and the beginning of people not hating on the game anymore. Looking back this really was the turning point where the story was ditched for insane collabs.

- Make a Greek Gods theme with new characters and mythic weapons based around said theme
- Do an Avatar collab 2 weeks into the season which completely replaces all of the Greek mythics
- As soon as the Avatar collab ends yet another Star Wars collab will start (these are basically annual)
- The season ends in less than a month
- Mfw this season should've been called Money & Mortals

Also Lego Fortnite has ruined the item shop

Super solid classic oozing with style. Checkpoints are basically non-existent, however the ability to Quick Save whenever you want somewhat remedies this (pun intended). Unfortunately, because of the enemy placements, by the end of the game you will be save-scumming every encounter. I've heard that this game has 'adaptive difficulty', which I never would have figured out from my own gameplay. I guess weapons became less effective when I spammed them, but it goes away when you swap between them which was a good way to encourage varying your approach. Bullet-time is badass to the Max (also pun intended) and I spent the first couple hours belly flopping at every opportunity. Although the aforementioned save scumming means you don't really need to. Ammo and health is pretty plentiful, at least on normal difficulty. The nightmare sequences were really creative even if the platforming sections in this game are quite janky. The story and comic book style are pretty good, it's like noir tropes on steroids (or Valium). However the dialogue was extremely quiet for some reason, basically anytime Max talked during gameplay was inaudible. Enemy dialogue volume was fine so I got to overhear a few funny conversations. My main issue with this game is that I didn't find the gameplay varied enough to keep me that engaged; the game is super short but it would've been hard to stay interested if it were any longer.

"Prepare for your death Leon." - Krauser

I was absolutely terrified of achievement hunting for this game, since 100%-ing the range minigame and doing Professional Difficulty sounded impossible. But, with the help of some guides, I ended up loving this game even more than my first playthrough.

However, it is a very fatigue heavy game and after a while you get a little sick of the amount it throws at you. The castle has some pretty hard back-to-back areas, but the island is where the game gets kind of stupid. With the exception of the Regenerators which are hands down the best thing in the game, Chapter 5 is filled with some of the longest, hardest, and most headache-inducing areas. And having to do the "It" and Krauser bossfights back to back is enough to severely make you question whether you're even playing the same game where you were in a spooky village. I actually had to put the game down because after spending 20 minutes getting stuck on 5-4 I could feel a genuine head throbbing. Granted, I was on hard mode, but those damn turret guys...

I actually really like the QTEs in this game overall because they come out of nowhere and are insanely challenging compared to most games, so it feels more like actual gameplay than just flair for cutscenes. But the statue chase and any encounter with Krauser can feel really unfair because you have less than a second to react to QTE with random inputs. Apparently this remastered version increased the framerate without touching the QTEs so you actually have even less time to react then you're supposed to.

Unfortunately, because I feel the game kinda drags (16+ hours feels overly long for the type of game this is), and the fact it throws so much bullshit at you near the end, I am not bumping up my rating as I thought I would halfway through my replay. Although it's still a terrific game that holds up really well and is worth playing.

After playing the first 4 games back-to-back, and even checking out the crappy mobile game that came out, I have now (technically) played every game in the Devil May Cry franchise. I consider this somewhat of an accomplishment since most franchises with more than 3 entries will have handheld or PC exclusives that I’ll never be able to play. When I say “technically”, that’s because I haven’t played Dmc: Devil May Cry. I really don’t know whether to count it since it’s more of a spinoff/reboot, and I haven’t decided whether I’m interested in playing it.

Anyway, I decided to return to 5 for a 5th playthrough to compare it to the rest of the series.

It’s interesting just how different this is to the previous games. No fixed cameras, completely new artstyle, zero backtracking, and way less "puzzles". Reviving is easier than ever, with an exponential red orb price for reviving on the spot as well as Gold Orbs. You will get an absolute abundance of gold orbs, since you get one per day and other people can give you stylish ratings if you encounter them.

Speaking of, the ‘multiplayer’ is quite interesting. Because of the overlapping storylines of the 3 characters you can sometimes see other players in later missions as the other characters. Then in mission 13 you can have up to 3 of you actually interacting and fighting enemies in the same arena. Because the game is a few years old now you hardly run into other people but I did once get 3 people in mission 13 which was super awesome. It's not at all necessary to the experience but it's a nice thing to encounter every once in a while.

The world design is a little less intricate than 1 or 3, since most levels are normally a straight line with the occasional diverging paths. However, the combat is so damn satisfying that I don't really care. Hands down the best combos, weapons, enemies and bosses in the series.

An amazing soundtrack to boot; 'Devil Trigger', 'Bury The Light' and 'Any Special Orders?' are my personal highlights. Songs reacting to your rank is a neat touch that really encourages you to keep hold of high ranks.

Unfortunately I don’t have the Special Edition since I got the game about a year before my Series X, but luckily all of the extra content is available as DLC. Most of it is Crapcom selling individual cosmetics for £1.50 each (which they have gotten plenty flack for in the Resident Evil remakes and Dragons Dogma 2). Kind of scummy but it's not like I was interested in getting anything other than the Vergil DLC, real life cutscenes and maybe a some DMC3 tracks. I would say it's almost a requirement to have the Vergil DLC, that's how fun it is. And the Real-Life cutscenes are the funniest thing ever. Therefore I definitely recommend getting the Special Edition instead, since it's an objectively better deal than getting the original version, for basically the same price.

If you only ever play one hack-and-slash in your life, it has to be this one. And put in at least a couple of playthroughs.

For some reason I’ve spent hundreds of hours of my life grinding the most boring parts of videogames in order to get all the achievements. On the other hand, I couldn’t stomach playing Devil May Cry 4 for more than half an hour at a time despite loving the core combat. Maybe I was just burnt out from playing the first 3 games back to back, but try as I might I couldn't find any motivation to finish this one other than “well, it’s only 8 hours long”. Even Devil May Cry 2 was able to hold me for the agonising 4.5 hours it took to beat, but I guess that was mostly fueled by morbid curiosity. I think the problem is that Devil May Cry 4 is complete mediocrity. Everything good about the game (the new additions to combat for the franchise, particularly Nero’s whole moveset) is present in Devil May Cry 5, undoubtedly my favourite game in the series. So there isn’t much this game has left to offer that you can’t find anywhere else (apart from “The Idol of Time And Space”, the best song ever).

I found the beginning very promising, but once I left the town and started going into the drab, grey mountains, my interest started to wane. Level design, artstyle, enemy encounters, puzzles, they all became very boring very quickly. Basically from level 3 onwards I was indifferent to the game in front of me. The special edition having all the unlocks at the beginning was something I thought I would want to avoid to not ruin the flow of the game, but frankly, being able to unlock every combo immediately is the only thing that stopped me from falling asleep.

Of course, as many are already aware, the game kinda collapses once you get to the Dante missions. First of all, every enemy is designed around the use of Nero’s Devil Bringer to bridge the gap between you and them and keep combos going. Dante doesn’t have this, so it’s back to the same issue as DMC2 where you’re spamming Stinger or Trickster after every move to get back to the enemy that was just launched across the room. Dante doesn't even have any air combos so any enemy/boss with a hurtbox not on the ground is a pain in the ass to deal with. Dante is theoretically fun as always, but you can tell they didn’t have much time to accommodate the enemies around him, making combat quite frustrating. Second of all, his levels are just Nero’s but in reverse. You also have to fight most of the bosses in the game three times each. The other DMC games do this a bit too but it feels worse here when even the final boss is a refight and it feels like nothing past mission 11 is new. Now, every DMC except 5 has a healthy dose of backtracking. But in this game it feels extremely rushed and not designed well. Nero will spend 2 levels in a row going back and forth in a single location, and then Dante will do the exact same thing later in the game. So you're basically seeing 4 missions worth of areas stretched across 16.

Fun fact: Less than 9% of players have beaten the Xbox version of this game on any difficulty. More people have beaten the SECOND Devil May Cry game than this one. Maybe it’s because the numbers are divided between all difficulties so it looks smaller than the collective number of completions, but still, I think that speaks a little to the retention value of this game.

The story is pretty funny because it’s just Nero screaming “Kyrie!!!!” for 5 hours while failing to kill anybody. Then Dante does a better job at defeating the old bosses while giving 0 shits. Other than that it’s probably one of the more uninteresting stories in the series. I don’t get the Nero hate much like I didn’t get the Raiden hate in Metal Gear. I think people are just annoyed when they wait years for a sequel only to play as a different character than their favourite. But yeah, Nero and Dante are pretty good in this game. It’s nice to see a more adult Dante with the same personality as DMC3.

Special Edition has plenty of bonus content as well, with a whopping 5 characters to play as, several difficulties and Blood Palace. Although, I’m not really itching to replay this one any time soon. It’s a fine videogame, and lands about in the middle of the franchise quality-wise, so I’d only recommend this one if you've played a couple of the others first.

I know a lot of people (rightfully) shit on Konami all the time, of which the Metal Gear Solid Master Collection was no exception. However, the fact that you can buy each game in the collection separately is great, and finally gave me the opportunity to get the one game I was missing, since I already own the HD Collection. They put pants on Johnny, but I can look past that for the fact that I finally got to play such a classic game.

Metal Gear is a series that always embraced the medium it’s a part of, and this game in particular has many moments that acknowledge the meta abilities of gaming. From Meryl’s codec number in the manual, to Psycho Mantis’ card reading and controller swapping, these are super cool moments that are unfortunately restricted to quirks of the PS1’s hardware. I’m glad they were all left included in the Master Collection, even if they are completely superficial. The manual has to be online in the menu because we’re in a more digital age, and all of the Psycho Mantis trickery is now superficial options in the settings. You basically play pretend by hitting a button that says “switch controller port” on your wireless console, or by filling a fake memory card. While these don’t quite have the impact of the real thing, I really wouldn’t have put it past Konami if they had removed them all together, so it’s a pretty good way of handling things. I don’t really have much else to say about the Master Collection differences since I’m not so knowledgeable on the changes as I am with other franchises, I can understand why many people think it’s lacklustre though.

Anyway, onto the actual game: just to start with something positive, this is my favourite atmosphere and (overall) soundtrack in the series. The Carpenter inspired techno sounds with the brooding vocalisation are so awesome. I also think this has the most distinct art style in the series.

In terms of gameplay, it’s quite old fashioned/arcade-y. It’s the level-by-level, one mistake and game-over type of design. It’s honestly a really short game in terms of raw stealth segments: if you cut out the cutscenes, bossfights and backtracking, there’s only about a dozen rooms of actual sneaking, which is my favourite part of the game. Despite being a lot simpler than the later games, I was able to engage with stealth a lot more than my pre-Phantom Pain mentality. The aforementioned backtracking is a pretty unnecessary way to pad the runtime, but it really isn’t that bad with the PAL key. Finding the sniper is a little worse, especially since I was a dumbass and didn’t save the game for the whole hour it took me to find it and then end up in the torture room. You can guess what ending I got on my first playthrough lol.

The story is pretty solid (pun intended?) and plays out the same as practically every other game in the series, with long codec calls and villains monologuing 20 years of intricate history before you fistfight them to death. I haven’t really mentioned this in my other MGS reviews, but I’ve always found the storytelling in these games to be really bizarre, since it goes against all writing tips and is 80% exposition. It works pretty well for an espionage thriller and it has slowly been growing on me.

This game still managed to frustrate me a lot though. Combat is very challenging and causes some bossfights to blow. Sniper Wolf sucks the most. “Hey, in our top down stealth game with no cover based shooting, let's have a sniper duel, with the worst scope controls known to man, and also getting shot every 2 seconds which fucks with the camera angle!” There’s also the infamous stairs which really wouldn't be so bad if there weren’t infinite enemy spawns, because why not I guess. The abundance of bossfights makes this feel less like a stealth game sometimes and more like a boss rush, which is more of a personal issue I have rather than an actual flaw in the game.

Anyway, I’m glad I finally got to play it, but 6 games deep into this franchise I’m starting to realise that I’m probably not the number 1 fan of metal gear. I can still recognise why these games are so beloved and will probably replay it eventually.

This review is based on my experience of playing in 2019, and 2019 only. Further information on the game is gleaned from Youtube videos I have seen on the subject, and one of my friends describing his own experience and opinions to me over the years. Since around 2018 he has played every expansion and put in over 3000 hours, so I consider him to be somewhat educated on the subject.

First of all, how the hell did I put 50 hours into this game. I didn't even want to play it. Another friend gave me a second-hand copy of Destiny 1 to play and I hated it and gave up after like an hour. Out of courtesy I gave the disc back to him. Guess what I got back? A copy of Destiny 2. In fact he did this with multiple of our friends so we could do raids together. At minimal expense to himself, of course. Even as early as 2019 the state of the Destiny franchise was so inconsistent that he was able to find multiple second hand copies that were under £5 each. I still felt bad that he kept giving me free games so I tried this game for a lot longer than the first.

50 hours of playtime. The experience was so unmemorable that I find 50 hours of playtime to be baffling. My review score may seem a bit harsh but I also played what is generally agreed by the community as the worst singleplayer content: the base campaign, and the Osiris and Warmind expansions. I played them multiple times as well because I didn't realise they were considered slop by fans (also because I didn't understand any of the rest of the games content, the mission structure was the most familiar to my other FPS experiences, and I naturally gravitate more to singleplayer anyway). Also just the stuff I've heard over the years is enough to incredibly disappoint me. Lightfall sounded really bad and had a terrible story, and the greedy microtransactions got worse after they split from Activision. How??

When Destiny was announced, they said it would be a 10 year plan for one game to be constantly expanded on. 10 year plan? Who said this, Stalin? Well, 9 and a half years later, they turned it into 2 expansion heavy games of varying quality, and you can't even play half of the expansions anymore. "we didn't want the storage space to get too high" blah blah blah. Just do what Halo: MCC now does and let you download each game/expansion separately. Remember when I said my friend gave me a £2 copy of Destiny 2 for free? I could've bought that disc at launch, spending £50 on it...and NONE of the content is playable anymore. It would have been a £50 rent. And they expect people to spend £50-90 on Midfall AND dozens more on microtransactions?? I have a hard time believing The Final Shape can deliver any finality...or quality. Trust me, I've been a Halo fan for 6 years. I know what it's like to chug Hopium.

There is one thing I remember about the game actually. The reason the copies were spread around my friend group. So we could do Raids together. I have never, and will never, understand Raids. The whole game is about brief co-op with randos and no mics. Then the end-game content is to spend several hours solving obscure Konami-input secret easter egg bullshit puzzles with 5 people you need absolutely tight communication with? I remember a friend of a friend trying to organise the group and getting pissed off when we couldn't follow his instructions for 2 hours straight and kept dying on the puzzle/enemy waves. If you like this game for the unique gameplay it offers, the music, setting, beautiful artstyle, then that's great. But that is not my Destiny 2. This review is.

https://canitrundoom.org
Most interesting ways you can play Doom '93:
- On a digital pregnancy test
- Gut bacteria (at 0.00003 fps)
- On a potato powered calculator

For my personal choice, the 90s computer inside of Doom Eternal's hub area. Yes, you heard me correct, you can even play Doom...in Doom. I will eventually get round the completing the full game, as I enjoyed it so far.

What a bizarre game that I almost completely forgot about. I remember back when there were only 9 campaign missions and all of the enemies were IP ripoffs like Minecraft and Pyramid Head. The Level 4 hospital boss scared me so fucking much as a kid lmao. Also I could never beat the Slenderman boss I had to get someone else to do it for me. The nostalgia for this is equivalent to the amount I remember. I've heard it's not as good these days but it's been a literal decade since I've played so I can't really comment on its current state.

"Aight...imma head out." - Actual line of dialogue from this game


Neon White is an absolutely brilliant game where nobody can go 5 seconds without reminding you that the story is cringe. Personally I think that's a bit exaggerated, although I did reel back in my seat at the occasional Gen Z/gamer speak (Steve Blum says "OP" and "no cap" out loud). The main characters start as very over-the-top cliches: the edgy protag, the dudebro sidekick, the femme fatale love interest, and basically a yandere? But over time, parts of their personas are slightly peeled away, the voice actors stop screaming their lines, and you get the occasional heartfelt messaging of the game. It's not the most interesting story of all time, and its feels intentionally cheesy, but it's enough to tie the levels together well and give some nice down time here and there. The visual novel style is probably the greatest contrast one could have to the tight speedrun design of the gameplay.


"You're laughing. We inadvertently sent some Neon to his grave, and you're laughing." - Reference to a viral 'Joker' (2019) quote


The gameplay is of course where all the praise for this game goes. Some of the tightest level design I've ever experience, I'd say 80% of the time I could figure out where to go on my first attempt without really slowing down. The short length of every level (usually a minute or less, with the occasional 2 minute gauntlet or 4 minute bossfight) makes failure almost a non-issue; I never raged once at this game. Clarity of objectives, the unique card system and fluidity of shooting or discarding, and the insane momentum you carry makes this a speedy but not technically demanding game (even on Switch handheld it works well). The skill ceiling for what is required of the player is decently low, unlike Celeste, which I draw comparisons to because of its similar quick respawn system and because I don't play many platformers. All you need to rank up is Gold medals, so any time saves beyond that is purely for your own enjoyment rather than progression, and the game gets you into a comfortable enough groove that it was rare that I had to retry a level to get a Gold.


"You're so lucky you don't have big boobs, White." - Another actual line of dialogue from this game


The presents were a cool idea at first, as you approach the game entirely differently, scouting for the present while preserving cards so that you can actually reach them. However, this was the least enjoyable part for me because it goes against the whole ethos of the game. Once the novelty wears off it becomes frustrating to slowly observe the levels instead of going fast which is so much more fun. And you need to get them all for the true ending so they're very encouraged.


"Isn't it freaking crazy that JOHN CENA is here in HEAVEN, giving us missions?!" - Line delivery from a voice actor who also stars in 'O.K.K.O: Let's Be Heroes'


The sad thing with a game about going fast, is that it will inevitably be quite short, lest the developers design 1000 levels to compensate. By the 5 hour mark I reached Neon Rank 1 and had already found about 30 presents. If like me you aren't super interested in the Rushes modes or getting times as low as possible, then unfortunately your journey with this game won't last forever. In a way though, this is a great pick-up and play game if you have 20 minutes to spare.


"It's like how you can never be a true gamer if you only ever play on easy mode." - Average Dark Souls fan


Overall, Neon White is an awesome, super fun game with a goofy story, and it makes for a fun demo of what it's like to be a speedrunner, but without the part where you watch Lakitu fly in front of Peach's castle for the 1000th reset.

One of my greatest sins as a Professional Gamer is that…I don’t really enjoy Metal Gear Solid. Despite 2 and 3 being two of the most acclaimed video games of all time, I had to tough through the games on Easy mode just to wrangle them out of my backlog. I found the control scheme unintuitive, and I absolutely suck at stealth. I just don’t have the patience, it's not really a fault of the games themselves, just how I am as a person.

On the other hand, MGSV is a game that I enjoy so much that I'll only put it down because of how big my backlog is. I found it very hard in the beginning, but as I got better at aiming, stealth, creative solutions, and had more resources available, the game kept getting better and better.

The great thing about the creative options with this game is how readily available they are. Weapons development and supply drops are so cheap in the grand scheme of things that it really encourages you to use any item/weapon/buddy whenever you want. I was pretty boring with other open worlds like other games such as Tears Of The Kingdom and RDR2. In the former, I felt discouraged from using Zonai resources because of how slow it was to get batteries and materials, so I mostly just stuck to regular weapons. In the latter, the game has pretty rigid level design, so you just go through the linear, intended route. However, the ease of developments and Fulton deliveries meant I approached The Phantom Pain in the way normal people approach games like Botw/Totk when they make their funny moments compilations.

Interrogating guards for objective or stash info. Rigging comms and anti-air with C4 to make a safer getaway. Should I kill, stun, tranq, avoid this enemy? The amount of options makes what an essentially 2 minute gameplay loop sustain itself for dozens and dozens of missions.

At first, checkpoint's seemed pretty cruel. And yeah, it sucks when you lose 20 minutes of sneaking progress because you were careless at the last possible second. Sometimes, it's not all bad though. Enemies will remain marked and you will know where exactly your objective is, so a lot of the time you can try again and take way less time.

The element of this game I personally wish was more developed was activities on Mother Base. You have target practice and suplexing your cult of soldiers and that's about it. I love returning the work you put into the open world into a constantly developing hub world, but it's mostly just visual. I guess when it comes to FOBs it affects gameplay a bit more since you or someone else will be exploring a custom built fortress.

The OST/score is great, as always with Metal Gear, with the new addition of licensed 80's music. A lot of it I avoid since I've heard it on the radio a million times in my life, but there are standouts like Midge Are of course. Wouldn't be the same game if my helicopter didn't play Rebel Yell every single time it picked me up. Wish they had Here's To You from Ground Zeroes though.

When it comes to story, I can see the main issues people have. Kojima doesn't have the most traditional storytelling methods, opting to do 20 minute exposition dumps in the middle of a gameplay mission (with the odd action scene here and there). However, it's kept interesting by just how many plot twists and reveals and stuff packed into each game. Phantom Pain, on the other hand, has a very hands-off story. Most of it is explained in hours worth of audio logs, and a lot of what you're told in normal cutscenes is a lie. Half of the missions in this game are just oddjobs with the overall narrative goal of "restoring mother base". Chapter 1 also has "we need revenge on Cipher/XOF/Skull Face" which end up being directly involved in a few missions.

Once Chapter 2 happens the narrative completely collapses. any remaining loose threads are continued in cutscenes that are triggered after doing random shit like side-ops, and as many know already, aren't even resolved. Yes, the game is unfinished, but this only really becomes a problem in Chapter 2. Chapter 1 is a quite solid (if slow and dull by Metal Gear standards) story that resolves the major conflict. It's a real shame that there isn't a true conclusion though. Chapter 2 suffers the most gameplay wise, as well. There are like 3 missions that forward the narrative, the rest are repeat missions but with additional difficulty. Harder missions aren't an issue on their own, the problem is them being muddled along with the content you need to complete to reach missions 43/45/46, the closest this game comes to a true ending.

This game also has pretty annoying bossfights ngl. Missions 29/42, 40, 45 and 31/50 are some of the most unenjoyable experiences I have ever had. You either cheese them or try to fight normally and get one shot 10 minutes after your most recent checkpoint.

Overall, I think my actual biggest issue with the game is the discourse surrounding it. It seems to be almost exclusively extremes; people either go "this game is unfinished and broken and ruined my life" or "this game is supposed to be unfinished and its actually a flawless masterpiece that I will spend 3 hours hyping up". The truth is somewhere in the middle, I lean towards "flawed but some great stuff".

To me, this will probably be the most important Metal Gear Solid I'll ever play, because it's definitely encouraged me to replay all the others with a more open mind so that I can see what others love in them so much. It was certainly a conflicting experience of a game. When you’re watching a cutscene, it’s a 5. When you get bad checkpoints, it's a 4. When everything falls perfectly into place and you creatively and stealthily execute a mission, it’s a 10. This game would probably be a 9 minimum if they actually finished it (common Konami L). The Jeep scene is unironically an 11/10. Overall, it's like an 8.



Well, I guess there’s nothing more to add other than……”Major….I’M BURNING UUUUUUUP!!!!”