(JP-only but I hear there is a good fan translation!)

They (the company making the massively famous (in Japan) Sylvanian Family line of children's toys) made a GBC Moon Remix RPG-like for girls. I found about this by going to a random toy/game store in Shinjuku the other day. I ran into a friend visiting from Northern America, he pointed out the place's stock seemed to have renewed from a week ago.

He pointed out a giant stand that was filled with perfect condition GBA/GBC/Virtual Boy games: someone probably found an unopened shipping box sitting in some warehouse and sold it to this store. In it were various games - Telefang, Sanrio Timenet (all pokemon-likes), hamster-raising games... an interesting reminder of the diversity of that era. Lots of amazing (and mediocre lol) art and games.

But this one, Sylvanian Family caught my eye...

The art and setting make it charming enough: it's set in one of those "far off villages across countless mountains," kind of a idyllic, maybe Christian-y kind of fairy tale world. I wouldn't be surprised if there was some story behind whoever created this line of toys and branding: it has a strange innocence to it (https://www.google.com/search?q=sylvanian+family).

You have free reign each day to explore where you want, you're only limited by the need to be back home by 5 PM ... or else! You die!

Actually... the day is considered a "dream" and you just reload your previous save.

Each morning you're forced to greet your parents before leaving. Between that and the curfew there's something very childhood-y, strict, proper, about it.

But alongside that, as you explore more, find things, complete minigames... you'll level up, which gives you more stamina to explore for longer. (Hence the MOON comparison). I feel like you'll find yourself thinking about wherever it was you grew up, and how big it felt as a kid vs. now.

As you level up, time literally slows down. It's a neat way to make you feel like the character is somehow growing older and more experienced as you get more time to wander each day. Eventually you can make your way out to some mountains and get lost in a surprisingly stark-feeling system of caves that feels out of a pokemon or dragon quest dungeon. Of course, you'll always emerge safely out of the other side.

The level design has a nice variety: you mostly wander small mazes of trees or bushes looking for items to pick up, but they still feel distinct. The winding gardens of the city, the open meadows of the grassland, the confusing forests of the mountain. They're simple mazes but it works for the game.

Fast-travel holes emerge in the ground: I felt this kind of contradicted the power of the 'time slowing' leveling system.

Before the advent of crafting systems and these kinds of games being almost entirely about making small children develop compulsive-level collecting and building habits (see recent animal crossing or like, Fantasy Life), these kids adventure games were pretty tight experiences.

Sylvanian Families even has a furniture buying/placement system, but there are so few items and options that it feels more like a Harvest Moon-esque progression where you just get to occasionally change your home.

Funnily enough, the items you buy are literally real toys that kids could buy at the time. Those sly branding marketers! There's a cuteness to some of the items: a piano in which you can practice at and get better each day. A house upgrade which will surprise your dad who usually only ever tells you to not come back too late.

I'm reminded of 1998's Dokidoki Poyacchio (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msjpAsvJ5XU) which I somehow haven't logged here yet), or 2001's Uki-uki Carnival (I still have the only review here! Who do I have to pay to get this translated... https://www.backloggd.com/games/sakura-momoko-no-ukiuki-carnival/ ).

Ultimately Sylvanian Family doesn't reach the experimental highs of either of those games - but it's still a well-designed experience that stands on its own and establishes an enjoyable fantasy setting, and manages to do a lot with its stamina system, relatively sparse dialogue and events. Curious to see what the rest of the series holds.

Also the music bangs https://downloads.khinsider.com/game-soundtracks/album/sylvanian-families-otogi-no-kuni-no-pendant-1999-gbc/17%2520BGM%2520%252317.mp3

A choose-your-own-adventure-like about running border patrol for a fantasy city where the joy is in the journey and the choices you make along the way.

In Lil Guardsman, you play as a 12-year-old girl working your dad’s shift at the city’s guard shack. You’re basically ye olde immigration officer and you need to decide who to let in, deny, or throw in jail using a bunch of tools to interrogate people. Depending on which tools and interactions you use, and what you decide to do with the people, your outcome will be completely different. Some levels I replayed 4-5 times and was able to see new dialogue every time. My only gripe with the game is that it grades you based on how “well” you performed during these interactions. It’s tricky because the game is built in such a way that encourages experimenting and trying weird stuff to see multiple results, but then it penalizes you if you make the wrong choices which sometimes works against my desire to tell my own wacky tale. The story framing for this is that you are an employee of the city and they’re grading you based on your performance before paying you accordingly. It all makes sense in the scope of the story; I just sometimes wish I had a little more freedom to mess around. Thankfully, there’s always more than one way to get good marks from your employer so it doesn’t ever shove you into a box.

Throughout the story, you’ll make a number of choices that often feel monumental in how you are shaping the lives of the people in the city, only to realize that every ending is, more or less, the same based on a couple of critical choices. Much like almost any “your decision matters” choice-based games like Mass Effect, Life is Strange, the Telltale games, or a number of other titles, you really need to embrace the logic of “it’s about the journey not the destination”. I played this with a group for Book Club For Games and, yes, most of our endings were extremely similar, but every single one of us had totally different choices and experiences along the way, so all of our stories felt different despite our similar endings.

The real star of Lil Guardsman is the writing - ranging from heartfelt to hilarious, while throwing in the occasional commentary and 4th-wall-breaking joke. At its most basic, reduced form, Lil Guardsman is just a choose-your-own-adventure game, but it excels at what it does because of the writing. I cared about the characters and their silly little politics, and often found myself laughing out loud at the jokes. If you’re able to sit back and enjoy the chaotic ride of playing a 12-year-old girl who has way more responsibility than she should, I think you’ll really enjoy Lil Guardsman.

+ Writing is consistently fun, witty, and often quite funny with great characters
+ Fun variety in dialogue that encourages replaying some sections here and there
+ Impressive amount of consideration had to go into every possible choice and bit of dialogue that results from those choices
+ Great voice acting

- Getting judged on your choices sometimes feels antithetical to the spirit of making your own choices
- No mid-level saves means restarting the whole chapter if your game crashes
- Having to replay the second half of the game 4 times to get all the trophies when there’s not that much variety in said endings sucks

Speed-daters ranked by how much I'd want to play this game with them:

1. Spooky Peter (He'd be a riot)
2. Dave (Pure positivity)
3. Gary (I don't think it'd help him, but I have to try)
4. Hattie (She's nice!)
5. Stephanie (She needs something to do)
6. Andy (Would arguably the best commentator)
7. Agatha (Same reason as Gary, but less desperate)
8. Vera (I think she might hate it)
9. Leon (He'd definitely hate it)
10. Kyo (They don't need this stress, bless their heart)
11. Drea (I think they might hate me)
12. Riley (Bye Riley)

Cute game! I wish there was more art, a lot of situations are just described without showing anything. At the very least, a background image for the dates would have gone a long way. But most of all, I truly feel bad for not being able to help Gary more. That poor guy.

Halo 3 is like a thrilling action movie that is constantly in its climax. Once the campaign begins it doesn’t hold back. Lulls in the action are minimal, set pieces are plenty, and the action is constant. You would think this would get old after a while, but Halo 3 does not overstay its welcome. Clocking in at an average of 8 hours the time flies by. The story is admittedly pretty lackluster especially in comparison to Halo 2. Instead of setting up characters like the Arbiter, fleshing out the motivations of the Covenant, and establishing the lore of the Forerunners and Flood, Halo 3 opts to stick to its guns--literally. We just blast our way from one set piece to the next leaving any desire for lore or character development to take a backseat. Mechanically, it plays a lot like Halo 2 but improved. The new brute weapons, addition of the badass Spartan Laser, and the new equipment feature add to the already break-neck pace of firefights. The new vehicles were a blast to ride around in as well, especially my new personal favorite the brute Chopper. In the end, Halo 3 is a thrill-ride that leans into fast-paced action but sacrifices depth and greater narrative. It is a blast to play but lacks that extra push that could take it over the top and complete the package.

I had no sword at all for two and a half hours.

I eventually found Biggoron's Sword on sale for 15 Rupees in the Goron City shop as Adult Link. However, as an incredibly frustrated young Alex learned in 1999, you cannot defeat Ganon in Ocarina of Time with the Biggoron Sword. In order to finish the game, the final blow must come from the Master Sword.

During my first playthrough of this (or any) randomizer, the Master Sword was the very last item that I found. This is what it took for me to find it:

• Both the Master Sword and the Kokiri Sword were in the Fire Temple in optional chests, with the Master Sword's chest requiring the Scarecrow Song to reach it. But I couldn't get to either of those without access to the Megaton Hammer, as the room to the left where you encounter Darunia had no keys in it. (The key to the door on the right side of the entry hall turned out to be in the Boss Key chest)

• The Hammer was in the Gerudo Training Grounds, so I was ultimately gated by my lack of Hover Boots.

• The Hover Boots were in Jabu-Jabu's belly, in place of the Zora's Sapphire. But I couldn't complete that section without the Boomerang.

• The Boomerang was in the moat in place of the Ocarina of Time, but I needed the 3 Spiritual Stones before Zelda would chuck it in there.

• The Kokiri Emerald was in one of the Gibdo coffins in the Bottom of the Well, so I needed the Lens of Truth to discover that.

• And the Lens of Truth was sold by a Business Scrub in Dodongo's Cavern. I got a good deal though, it was only 10 rupees.

Obviously, I had no idea where the Master Sword would be, so this wasn't a plan or a list of instructions I followed, it's just how things shook out. And I had a great time! I used Ship of Harkinian's randomizer, and there are some fantastic options that made the constant back-and-forth scouring of Hyrule more feasible. The most useful ones were unbreakable Deku Sticks (absolutely critical since I didn't find a sword for a while), changing Link's age with the Song of Time, Bunny Hood increasing speed like in Majora's Mask, and ageless items (allowing Young Link to use the Hookshot, for example). I was incredibly impressed with Ship of Harkinian though, and will definitely put more playthroughs into that, randomized or not.

(9-year-old's review, typed by his dad)

There's no square root to death

And also I like it when the cubes fall. I don't like 2-player things single-player. It gets uncomfortable when you have to synchronize. Unless you're ambidextrous.

I know someone who's ambidextrous. He's my friend at school. He plays basketball.