Today, there are little flowers blooming where there were none yesterday

Thats the kind of discovery that warms my heart, you know?


2010 and there is a little girl who wakes up on a Saturday at 5am in her grandma's house. She runs downstairs before the suns risen and before anyone has woken up, a novelty. Like she is the only one there, like it is her house. She makes cereal and watches tv, to the left and through the sliding glass door she can see the sun coming up. At grandma's house the sun always rises in oranges and pinks. The neighborhood is always quiet and always confined. Throwing away the plastic bowl, she walks out into the living room, turns on the tv, turns on the wii. Sets the setting to hdmi 2 and grabs her remote. And she plays this.

Impossibly beautiful and forever welcoming. City Folk and its open spaces, delightful music that defines an hour of your life. Your neighbors that seem to have an unlimited amount of things to say, sending you letters, asking after your other characters, pushing them into pitfalls regardless because it is funny every time. And to this child, it was very real, and deeply mysterious. You could spend hours doing nothing but I remember it all so well, feeling giddy after ordering 50 wheat fields and placing them in my house, walking and hiding in them. Dyeing my hair cyan in the hair salon, feeling rich if I managed to buy one thing at Gracies. Time hopping to winter so I could build an awful snowman. Making constellations with Celeste, in awe of all the colors and the way the stars shined.

At school, it is now recess. Today, I have brought a stuffed dog to school named Moo. It was my father's but he cared little for it, so it is now mine. Unlike my father, I will take care of Moo. I will not abandon him, or treat him like he is nothing. He comes with me everywhere and I hug him on the bus when I know he is scared, because I can feel what he feels and it is something other people can not grasp. I have many other stuffed animals at home, and they all take turns coming with me. There is a tree in the recess yard. All the kids jump on it and stab at it with pencils, and I remember that I felt like something was burning inside me. That tree was no ones friend and no one saw it, but I would and I did. I sat with that tree every day, talked to it and loved it. As an adult I can recognize now that the teachers were always looking at me because I never played with any of the other kids. This little girl cried a lot, she wanted to go home a lot. She had meltdowns and bit other kids. And children pick up on that, and I knew that they knew that there was something untouchable about me and that they should stay away. I never had any friends. But still, I was so loving. I loved everything and wanted to understand everything. I would be a friend to something like myself, like that tree, but still they could never talk back.

But, the villagers in City Folk could. They talked to me like they were real, like they knew me. I listened to them and loved every second. I fell in love with Rolf and bombarded him with letters asking him to marry me, I adored Friga and her mature attitude that I didnt quite understand yet but compelled me nonetheless. I played in Frobert's house a lot because the colors were so pretty, and he had a frog chair. I loved every detail of every little thing about them, and it was something only a child could experience. But it also hurt too, because once more as much as I loved them I knew that they could never sit with me and give me a hug, or push me on the swing or make me a bracelet, any of the many things I saw other girls my age doing. And I didnt know it at the time, but I never would feel that. I would never have any friends. For two decades, I would be alone. And into the years which should of been the best of my life, I would lose the ability to leave the house. I would lose a lot of things that I was otherwise proud of. And I begun to feel like something like me might never be understood or loved at all.

That child in me never really died, sometimes I still feel her sitting in a field behind the school, bawling her eyes out at an impossible lonliness that children really dont ever feel.

But a year ago, to this day, I sent someone a message. We had a lot in common, I thought, and I was so desperate for friends. I had just moved into my first apartment and I was so lonely and scared. I stayed up till 1am listening to my cat wailing and talking with them. I did not know that this person would turn out to be my best friend, my first friend. I was just excited to talk to them the next day. And the day after that. For hours, the whole day even. All the time, for a whole year, they spoke with me. They never once let me be alone like I was. And even though I've never had the chance to speak much, and I might be annoying at times, they have never once held that against me. I can be with them, talk with them about things I like, play games with them. And they listen to me, enjoys having me there. Wants me to be there. Impossible.

Later, I met two other people. They celebrated my birthday with me and I dont think I ever smiled as much as I did on that day. And it was the first time I ever had a party with friends, had someone to remember my birthday. And even though they arent with me physically, I was still so happy. I wont ever forget that. Two days ago, I spent the weekend watching one of them play Bratz all day and we were laughing and having fun. And I thought that a year ago, this would not be possible. A year ago I was much less of a person and more like a slave. But now I have people to talk to, people I respect, people that make my life worth living. And even though I still want to know what its like to be hugged, to have a friend physically there, im still so happy. And I can not believe someone in my position got so lucky as to meet these people.

To Nicole, I love you sooo much. You are such a bright and loving person. You are endlessly talented in so many things, so kind and so thoughtful, everyone should be taking notes. Thank you for all the happy memories you have given me over the past year, and for everything youve done to help me.

And to Hilda, thank you so much. Even though you say you wish you could do more for me and you wish that you were more, I sincerely do not care. Because every day I am excited to wake up and talk to you. You make me laugh every day, you are so funny and beautiful. I am so, so proud to call myself your friend and I am so happy to be liked by the both of you. You have changed my life considerably.

For my first year of being on my own, and the first year ive been on Backloggd, I can not be more pleased. I am still not all together free of the ocd that forced me here, and part of me still feels trapped and lonely. I want to experience the things other people my age take for granted. Ive never been kissed, I've never gone to the mall with my friends. Things like that, but for the first time in my life I can at least finally feel content. And I feel like no matter what happens, I will have always people to go back to, people who care. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.


So, it's good to appreciate the times where you've got nowhere to be and nothing to do

i've been playing this for a few days and while i would usually wait for me to finish a game before sharing my thoughts, i can not contain how elated i am at how much of an improvement it is over the original. almost all of my issues with the original game were addressed and i'm very pleasantly surprised. what stands out the most to me is how interesting the characters are and the beautiful and varied environments, it really feels like a rare instance of a dev learning from not only the issues of the original but the parts of it that worked. would not be surprised if this ended up being my goty. i'm going to be locking comments and ignoring this 'review' once i finish the game and get my actual review out, i just genuinely could not stop myself from gushing about this game

I'm 35 at time of writing this which means one can make some fairly reasonable assumptions about my video game history. Chief amongst them that I was the exact perfect age to become deeply obsessed with Pokemon when it was brand new.

And I absolutely did. This series had me hooked from the very, very beginning. Over the years I've assembled a living dex and I've bought both version of every single release and I've loved them all very, very much (I love Black/White and Black 2/White 2 the most very much though).

Anywho, this one was no different. I love the new formula, I love the world, I love them cute new friends, and I loved the story.

No notes, all vibes and love.

Ugh...

Okay-- so, on one hand, this game plays extremely well. Engage's interpretation of the weapon triangle and the titular "Engage" mechanic make combat a blast. Maps are cleverly designed and the battle animations are incredible. The hub world is also fun, and overall, the game has a very rewarding loop that's hard to walk away from.

Unfortunately, I actively dislike everything else. The story is rough and the supports feel AI written. I went in with low expectations given many reviews explicitly stated this game was more focused on tactics, and I still found myself feeling disappointed by the narrative.

I know very well that not every FE game prioritizes story, but there's absolutely a way to have a lighter stakes journey that doesn't take itself too seriously. Instead, we get a plot that echoes the beats of an epic fantasy tale without giving us any reason to care.

Despite my issues with Engage, I am still enjoying the game. My advice is to skip the cutscenes, give everyone sunglasses, and have fun with the incredible tactics.

TLDR: Help, I miss Garegg Mach so much...

I went into Dragon Quest Treasures fairly blind, all I knew (or needed to know!) about the game was that it's a Dragon Quest XI prequel about popular party member Erik and his sister Mia befriending monsters and searching for treasure. This sort of setup with a built-in hook is actually kind of standard for Dragon Quest. We've got spinoffs about Torneko, Yangus, that one smug guy from VII, and Monsters itself as a sub-series is basically just taking V's monster gimmick and running with it. I knew this stuff going in. I'm gonna hang out with my buddy Erik as a young'n and hang out.

What I did NOT expect was the absolutely insane, brilliant, addictive, joyous, dastardly gameplay loop of this fucking thing. Once you break into the meat of the game, you will be turned into an absolute tycoon with an army of monsters acting as truffle hounds at your disposal. Wake up by the campfire, set out on the open terrain and let those fuckers loose as they get to sniffing up valuable goodies made out of 3D models of Dragon Quests past. Fan service fuels the fire in your heart to absolutely rip this shit up and cash in for LUDICROUS amounts of money. Amounts that'll make your eyes spin like slots and show up as dollar signs. It's amazing. Feels wonderful. A game that makes you feel the way that health-conscious moms do when they describe a chocolate cake as "sinful".

So yeah, you play as a rascal in this one and you certainly feel like one too. TONS of fun that doesn't overstay its welcome, don't miss it because it's bound to be overlooked in a weirdly stacked season of mid-budget JRPGs.

I remember a conversation I had at 2am in the con suite at Anime Iowa 2004 about FFX-2. I was cosplaying as Rikku and the other girl I was talking to was cosplaying as Lum.

We started talking because I was chatting with my friends and she came over and told me that I, too, must be as upset at her about “the new final fantasy,”

I didn’t really know what she meant—I LOVED X-2–so we started chatting and ended up smack dab in the middle of what I remember being at the time a raging debate: is this game fun for girls or is it patronizing?

The only online space I exist in where people talk about video games is unlike any other I’ve ever really been in in my whole internet life, and it’s a space where people give genuine credence and recognition to like, fashion games on the DS and whatnot. I cannot stress how unlike the rest of the internet that is, especially back when X-2 was contemporary.

At that time, girls like the Lum cosplayer were aghast at X-2, the word “ditzy” got thrown around, so did the word “embarrassing,” In that time, being a girl who liked video games meant wading into pretty awful places: game stores where they hate and leer at you, online spaces where they hate and leer at you, and games themselves where they hate and leer at characters like you.

To like games as a girl in the early aughts meant you had to learn to deal with never getting to play a game with strong women and you had to learn to deal with men who would make fun of the games that did have strong women.

And some women learned how to deal with those things by demanding nothing be feminine. It was a defense mechanism; our femininity was a curse in nerd spaces, so why embrace that curse?

I get it, and I wish I could remember Lum’s real name—we hugged after the chat and she said she would give X-2 another shot.

I love X-2 very much and I’m glad 16 year old me got to play it.