_Ryu
2012
Roses are red, daisies are white. Should we gather for whiskey and cigars tonight?
Why the fuck is the music in this game so absurdly better than everything else about it? Holy shit, the composers did not need to go this hard, but I'm glad they did, otherwise I would never play this all the way to the end.
I'd rather play Sonic Omens
A jankier Arkham City with a bigger but emptier open world and a narrative that amounts to taking story beats from Batman: The Animated Series but doing nothing that series hasn't already done better before. At least some of the boss fights are pretty interesting, but eh, you wouldn't be missing out on anything by skipping this one.
2014
Funny for the first 10 minutes or so.
2018
Why does this have fully functional slope physics but not Frontiers
2016
I want to travel back in time to the point where the person who invented super armor in video games was about to poison the industry with their shitty idea and kill them before they do so
1999
Man, every single time I try to replay this game I always lose interest somewhere around disc 2
2004
Umm... It's better than X6 and X7, so there's that.
2001
"We live in a society."
- Sweet Tooth
- Sweet Tooth
What is it with these people putting god tier music in atrocious games? Stop, the composers deserve better.
2015
Not Important is one of my favorite video game protagonists
2005
UN FORASTERO
1999
I swear every single time this game tried to go all "HUMAN BAD, NATURE GOOD" cracked me up, not because I disagree with environmentalism or anything, I just think they did this in an incredibly silly and heavy-handed way here. It's weird because Chrono Cross was released by the same company that made Final Fantasy VII, that game also had environmentalist themes except they were much better handled and more relevant to the plot compared to Chrono Cross' story being this convoluted mess that tries to be a lot of different things but doesn't excel at any of them in particular.
That being said, I do think there are some good isolated moments in the story, the battle system is fun and the sheer atmosphere evoked by the gorgeous art coupled with one of the most beautiful video game soundtracks of all time make this worth playing at the end of the day.
That being said, I do think there are some good isolated moments in the story, the battle system is fun and the sheer atmosphere evoked by the gorgeous art coupled with one of the most beautiful video game soundtracks of all time make this worth playing at the end of the day.
This review contains spoilers
It was a thursday at the Square Enix offices, after releasing Advent Children and Dirge of Cerberus, Tetsuya Nomura was discussing with his team what would be their next step towards tarnishing Final Fantasy VII for cash. They did not know what else they could do, but then Hajime Tabata stormed into the room, proclaiming only two words:
"ZACK FAIR!"
The others raised their eyebrows. "Tabata-san, you are a genius!", says Nomura, as he gets off his chair and proceeds to ask for more details on Tabata's idea.
Tabata: We can make a game about the events that happened before FFVII, back when Cloud was only a generic Shinra grunt. The protagonist won't be him, though, I'm thinking about bringing Zack into the spotlight!
Nomura: Oh right, Zack! That guy from Cloud's flashbacks, the game really didn't tell much about him aside from Cloud's POV, huh.
Tabata: Exactly, we can make this cool prequel story about Zack, showing how things were before FFVII, exploring different facets of Shinra, the original game's characters, Zack's relationship with Aerith, even Sephiroth! We can humanize Sephiroth a bit and it will make people appreciate him even more!
Nomura: Hell yeah, and that's when we'll put Gackt in it!
Tabata: ... What?
Nomura: Don't you know Gackt? He's a japanese rockstar and the perfect model for my original FFVII villain! Gackt loves poetry and his dialogue will mostly be quoting lines from that play called Loveless because that makes him a deep and interesting character!
Tabata: Nomura-san, don't you think that's a bit silly? I mean, people just want to see the events surrounding Zack being expanded, there's no need to-
Nomura: And then we'll reveal that actually the one behind all the events that happened in the original game was Gackt! He's the one who caused Sephiroth to go bonkers and murder everyone in Nibelheim!
Tabata: Are you serious, dude?
Nomura: Also Zack will have a mentor.
Tabata: Fair enough... What's he gonna be like?
Nomura: He's like Zack but older, and 90% of his dialogue will be about honor.
Tabata: Oh for fuck's sake. What about Zack, then? Are you planning to turn him into some generic shounen hero or something like that?
Nomura: Yes.
Tabata: Goddammit... Can we at least make the gameplay engaging since the story is very likely to be utter shit?
Nomura: Sure thing, the gameplay will consist of walking on hallways and button mashing as you get buffs, limit breaks and even level ups randomly generated by this thing called DMW I've been thinking of.
Tabata: Sighs Can we at least make the ending good? It's Zack's death scene, after all, it needs to be impactful, maybe it will even trick people into believing the game is actually good just because of the lasting impact.
Nomura: Yeah sure, whatever.
Tabata: Okay then...
"ZACK FAIR!"
The others raised their eyebrows. "Tabata-san, you are a genius!", says Nomura, as he gets off his chair and proceeds to ask for more details on Tabata's idea.
Tabata: We can make a game about the events that happened before FFVII, back when Cloud was only a generic Shinra grunt. The protagonist won't be him, though, I'm thinking about bringing Zack into the spotlight!
Nomura: Oh right, Zack! That guy from Cloud's flashbacks, the game really didn't tell much about him aside from Cloud's POV, huh.
Tabata: Exactly, we can make this cool prequel story about Zack, showing how things were before FFVII, exploring different facets of Shinra, the original game's characters, Zack's relationship with Aerith, even Sephiroth! We can humanize Sephiroth a bit and it will make people appreciate him even more!
Nomura: Hell yeah, and that's when we'll put Gackt in it!
Tabata: ... What?
Nomura: Don't you know Gackt? He's a japanese rockstar and the perfect model for my original FFVII villain! Gackt loves poetry and his dialogue will mostly be quoting lines from that play called Loveless because that makes him a deep and interesting character!
Tabata: Nomura-san, don't you think that's a bit silly? I mean, people just want to see the events surrounding Zack being expanded, there's no need to-
Nomura: And then we'll reveal that actually the one behind all the events that happened in the original game was Gackt! He's the one who caused Sephiroth to go bonkers and murder everyone in Nibelheim!
Tabata: Are you serious, dude?
Nomura: Also Zack will have a mentor.
Tabata: Fair enough... What's he gonna be like?
Nomura: He's like Zack but older, and 90% of his dialogue will be about honor.
Tabata: Oh for fuck's sake. What about Zack, then? Are you planning to turn him into some generic shounen hero or something like that?
Nomura: Yes.
Tabata: Goddammit... Can we at least make the gameplay engaging since the story is very likely to be utter shit?
Nomura: Sure thing, the gameplay will consist of walking on hallways and button mashing as you get buffs, limit breaks and even level ups randomly generated by this thing called DMW I've been thinking of.
Tabata: Sighs Can we at least make the ending good? It's Zack's death scene, after all, it needs to be impactful, maybe it will even trick people into believing the game is actually good just because of the lasting impact.
Nomura: Yeah sure, whatever.
Tabata: Okay then...