Games I wish had combat

There are too many games where I think "I could solve this problem so easily if the game just let me beat that guy up". Arent you tired of that? Oh you want me to solve this puzzle in a novel and interesting way? What if I just shot it with bullets, how about that???

Stray
Stray
This game got compared a few times to Metal Gear Solid but Metal Gear Solid let you fire a Nikita Remote Controlled Rocket and frankly this game should have let you do that too.
PowerWash Simulator
PowerWash Simulator
Idk I had to get into knife fights all the time when I was a carpet cleaner, this is not a fair depiction of the work van contractor lifestyle.
Phasmophobia
Phasmophobia
Yeah we'll see how that creepy baby ghost acts when I pull out my Sig Sauer P320 with the laser scope.
Outer Wilds
Outer Wilds
They got banjos and they got rockets but they dont have shotguns, is that what youre telling me? If I ram into the anglerfish, it should lose HP is all Im saying.
Hypnospace Outlaw
Hypnospace Outlaw
How am I supposed to enforce hypnospace without martial ordinance? I should be kicking down Tims door and arresting that SOB
Hello Neighbor
Hello Neighbor
Try to lie to me and say you wouldnt want to shotgun this little freak as he tries to set 17 bear traps in his kitchen. Go ahead, leave a comment and lie to me.
Final Fantasy XV
Final Fantasy XV
It looks like combat, people call it combat, but in reality it was just a very drawn out cutscene where Gladio fights everything and you watch from the corner holding the dodge button.
My Summer Car
My Summer Car
This game lets stick a hotdog into your engine but it wont give you a sword, what a shitty summer
Wheels of Aurelia
Wheels of Aurelia
Im supposed to confront fascist italian terrorists with something other than martial arts? Uhh hello???
The Witness
The Witness
Yeah let me "witness" someone solve the New York Times puzzle section for 26 hours straight. Boring! Wheres the drone strike, wheres the kill streaks.
Candy Crush Saga
Candy Crush Saga
This game commits violence on you but youre unable to commit violence back and I resent this on a fundamental level.
Tropico 3
Tropico 3
They can shoot me but I cannot shoot them and this feels unfair. I am the presidente of a communist south american country I should have guns falling out of my goddamn ears.
Tony Hawk's Project 8
Tony Hawk's Project 8
The series got away with it for a long time but its decline was inevitable as it refused to add skateboard brawls and sniper rifles.
Façade
Façade
This couple needs a physical intervention, they can not push me around like this.
Hot Shots Golf Fore!
Hot Shots Golf Fore!
I think golf games need to innovate. Opposing players should take up positions on the green and set traps for golfers to fall in while driving their golf balls.
Syberia
Syberia
Kate Walker wouldnt have gotten locked up in that train if she had an arsenal of 20th century weaponry, just saying.
Animal Crossing
Animal Crossing
This game expects you to let Tom Nook disrespect you daily while some absolute monster terrorizes the neighborhood with buried Pitfall traps. How am I supposed to protect the homestead?
Crazy Taxi
Crazy Taxi
How crazy is it, really, if you cant even stomp out a rival taxi gang or a rogue grandma?
Sega Bass Fishing
Sega Bass Fishing
Where I come from, we catch these guys with cherry bombs and sometimes they lob them back (swear to god, happened to me and my cousin)
Q*bert
Q*bert
Q*Bert is cussing on the game cover because he has rage in his heart but hes not allowed to directly confront the snakes. Give him a machete!

12 Comments


2 months ago

(In reality you should give @Drax 's original list some attention instead)

2 months ago

Buddy can The Witness these fuckin hands

2 months ago

That FFXV description lol.

2 months ago

I'm fucking crying over the idea of shooting Tom Nook in the goddamn face ToT

Also, The Witness inspires me, too, with great violence.

2 months ago

Maybe FNAF could be immeasurably based if I could shotgun Freddy's face on reaction during a jumpscare

2 months ago

@AlphaOne2
Now youre thinking.

2 months ago

Bullying in Animal Crossing should be real.

2 months ago

I was gonna say Wii Sports but then I remembered boxing exist. Still, it should let me 360 noscope in tennis and get a killstreak.

2 months ago

@hotpoppah bulling in Animal Crossing IS real. you haven't experienced true joy until you spend a ridiculous amount of time hitting villagers you don't like in the head with your net.

2 months ago

@frommybed Yeah, but I want them to be in emotional disrepair after. Usually they get mad for 2 seconds and then send you a birthday gift anyways. I want Barold to lie awake at night staring at his ceiling.

2 months ago

@hotpappah undeniably based. Hamphery should have had to rue the day he decided to move onto my island in ANCH.

1 month ago

This is a really really nice list. Punching villagers in Animal Crossing? Sign me up!


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