Jump, jump! Slide, slide!

I think Mega Man 8 is always going to signify the game that made me stop listening to Mega Man fans other than myself. This is supposed to be the one that most people are mixed on? What planet am I on?

The mainline Mega Man series makes its first and only appearance on the PS1 here, and I don't know how much happier I could've been with it. The 32-bit visuals are colorful, eye-wateringly gorgeous, and as inviting as ever. The voice acting that Capcom saw fit to add due to the newfound power of the PS1... not so much, but it's so astonishingly bad that it loops right back around to being vaguely charming. Megaman feels wonderful to control, with a small but effective selection of traversal moves (the Rush Cycle?!?) and a fantastic arsenal of new boss weapons. This may also have one of the strongest scores in the entire mainline series—a collection of synthy, airy, and at times pulse-pounding tracks that perfectly accompany this game's imaginative stages. Speaking of that, Mega Man 8 probably has my favorite collection of Robot Masters thus far, and so many of the set pieces just... flat out rule, especially the shmup section in Tengu Man's stage.

I'll admit this though. The detractors are right about one thing. Those snowboarding sections are the worst.

Yeah, I don't know. I probably just rambled a lot, but hopefully I got my point across. I would've never dreamed this would become my 2nd favorite mainline Mega Man game.

Our flames are our own, and they burn as one.

Where to begin here… Well, I’ve been a Final Fantasy fan for most of my life. I used to stare into the Wal-Mart display case wishing we could afford a copy of FFVII. My brother and I rented FFVIII from Blockbuster, and we would restart our PS1 to watch the opening movie over and over—so much so that we had to buy our rented copy from Blockbuster. My dad wasn’t too happy with that. I’d watch in awe as my brother played FFX… I bought Dragon Quest VIII for the FFXII demo… anyway, you get it. It’s no secret that, with the exception of VII Remake, many think Final Fantasy has lost its way during the post-PS2 years. In my eyes, FFXVI would be the game to change that. A dream team of Square Enix veterans, a strong concept, a new platform… All of the cards were on the table, and I absolutely could not wait to play this. Does FFXVI live up to its namesake?

Well… if I had to describe this game in a single word, it would be “troubled.” It’s like someone at Square Enix tried to serve you the most delicious meal they’ve ever made, but your server dropped your food on the floor, slipped in it, and served it to you anyway. If you don’t stop and think about it too much, your food tastes really good—I mean, really good—but something is missing. I just wish it hadn’t been dropped in the first place. I would’ve really liked to eat my food without compromise. That’s what playing FFXVI is like. A series of half-measures more disparate than they should be. When they work in tandem to form a whole, the game is capable of some of the most awe-inspiring and emotionally resonant sequences this franchise has ever known. When they don’t, well…

Let’s get this out of the way right here: this was billed as FF’s first action title, but it’s neither an action game or an RPG. It’s somewhere in the middle and isn’t fully accomplished at capturing either genre. Combat feels extremely fluid and competently captures the spectacle that director Naoki Yoshida is known for. As for the RPG elements, there are “stats,” but you get the feeling that your level is more of a story progress bar than anything else. In fact, I left the game feeling like the only Eikon ability sets that aren’t phoned in are Titan and Odin. The Odin toolkit did a lot to win me back over, but Odin is also the only Eikon with abilities working in tandem—it feels like a classic Final Fantasy job change. There are numerous Eikon pairings that work well together and, I expect, numerous others that I hadn’t even considered. But again, it’s a half-measure. With only 6 equippable Eikon abilities at a time, a low variety of basic abilities, and the baffling absence of a buff/debuff/elemental weakness system, your options will be kind of limited regardless of how competent you are at Eikon synergy. You’d better enjoy doing the same things over, and over, and over if you’re going to get through this 70 hour juggernaut. Oh, and don’t expect anything from the game’s completely underbaked crafting system.

I’ve played games for 29 years, and FFXVI has the worst pacing I’ve ever encountered. Maybe that’s my fault, since I always try to 100% every game I commit to finishing, but no Final Fantasy game should punish the player for trying to see it to its fullest extent. This series is known the world over for its imaginative, thrilling storytelling, its striking characterizations, and its attention to detail. You’d never know that if FFXVI was your first Final Fantasy game. The game is constantly bookending its most powerful setpieces (which, in a vacuum, represent some of the highest highs in franchise history) with MMO quest design and low-energy NPC writing that, quite simply, don’t belong in this game. Like most of this thing, the concept here was a strong one—world-shaking battles between gods that leave smaller-scale everyday struggles in their wake. In practice, much of the game’s optional content brushes against its more skillfully executed components. You get the sense that Creative Business Unit III was just as bored by implementing these quests as we are playing them. I’m suspecting that the team wanted to make FFXVI a tightly executed 20 hours, but Square Enix’s top brass wouldn’t let them. “You can’t have a 20-hour mainline FF game!” This might be the only game in existence that had too much in the oven.

To put all of this another way, an old friend once recommended I read the Thomas Ligotti short story collection, Teatro Grottesco. It was terrifying, but not for the reasons you’d generally expect. Each of those stories felt like I was watching them unfold through a filthy glass window, like I could still see what was happening but there was a degree of separation preventing me from fully stepping inside Ligotti’s world. It’s the same case here. You might be thrilled by FFXVI’s spectacular Eikon battles or taken with its patient, meticulous portrayal of key players like Clive, Joshua, Jill, and Dion. Even with that in mind, I felt like I was outside of that dirty glass window at almost every turn. The game simply won’t let you inside unless you take every last one of its undeveloped elements as it is, never asking for more from one of the most storied franchises in gaming.

Who knows? Maybe I just need some distance from FFXVI. I enjoyed this plenty, but returning to it someday with a clearer picture of what it is might be to my benefit. For now, I’m happily locking this one up.

Fight, Mega Man! For everlasting peace!

Here, Capcom sets the table for one of the most beloved franchises in gaming history. The ingredients are all here, but it's hard not to think of the original Mega Man as anything more than a first draft. This game is eye-wateringly difficult and filled with irritating game design (I KNOW you didn't grab the Magnet Beam on your first clear of Elec Man's stage). Even the music is pretty weak. I doubt there's a single Mega Man fan on Earth that thinks this is the best one, but it's an important game nonetheless.

Let me open by saying that this is THE most subjective rating that I've ever given, as I don't think that this game will work for most people. In many cases, it won't even work for the most ardent Sonic the Hedgehog fan. Above all else, Sonic Frontiers is somewhat of a freak experiment - an amalgamation of different influences carried out with a vague level of uncertainty, but paired with a nearly apologetic degree of optimism.

As a former Sega Genesis kid, I've always found myself with this strange, inexplicable affinity for Sonic. I don't know why that is. I haven't enjoyed a Sonic game since Sonic Adventure 2, I don't care for a single one of Sonic's Genesis era titles, I detest both of the recent Sonic the Hedgehog movies, and I've never even dreamed of watching one of Sonic's numerous television adaptations. Still, I'm always rooting for Sonic, and I've long wished for an unmissable game that mirrors Sonic's legacy. Well, you've seen my relatively high rating for this. Is Sonic Frontiers that game? Well, no, but Sonic's future has never been brighter.

Let me get the obvious stuff out of the way: Sonic Frontiers is quite ugly, although it is far from visually uninspired. Sonic Frontiers is far too long, and its open world is couched much more in semi-meditative emptiness and infuriating navigation than in opportunity. Sonic Frontiers has about 10 different types of interlocking currency, and its map system and optional fast travel system will drive the average player insane. Sonic Frontiers has not one, not two, not three, but FOUR original boss themes by Kellin Quinn of Sleeping with Sirens. Sonic Frontiers has a maddeningly slow stat upgrade system that ultimately relies on fishing with Big the Cat to reasonably max out. Sonic Frontiers has unlockable side stories that tend to be much more trouble than they're worth. Sonic Frontiers has a barely functioning lock-on system and a skill tree that falls far below the expectations of a 2022 release. Sonic Frontiers is far. Too. Fucking. Long.

But you know what else? Through it all, Sonic Frontiers is FUN. Even with all of my criticisms in mind, I was still compelled to 100% this game. For the first time, Sonic Team has paid almost no mind to designing a satisfactory physics engine, electing instead to place that responsibility in the hands of the player. The wide, empty landscapes lend the player immense freedom to run unimpeded, and you're given the option to go under the hood and adjust Sonic's top speed, acceleration, brakes, steering, and camera distance. The level of trust placed in the player to create their ideal Sonic experience is like nothing I've ever seen from a game of this stature. When everything fits together—the dazzling spectacle tuned to Sonic's breakneck speed—the result is often nothing short of awe-inspiring. Not only that, but it remains abundantly clear that Sonic Team genuinely cared about the surprisingly dark narrative that they were trying to weave, even if I had some trouble following its implications.

Is this the Sonic game to end all Sonic games and silence Sonic's legions of naysayers? No, but I doubt that any game can wear that crown. However, Sonic Frontiers evinces something that has grown exceedingly rare in the AAA game space: the courage to upend one of gaming's most recognizable franchises. Here's your Sonic Adventure 3, with (almost) everything that that entails.

In the year 200X, a super robot named Mega Man was created.

I replayed this in a single sitting tonight. It's not hard to see why Mega Man 2 is one of the most beloved titles on the NES. It takes the formula set out by the original game to dizzying new heights with its excellent level design and genuinely unforgettable music. Any chiptune musician worth their salt has cut their teeth on the Mega Man 2 sound font at some point. Despite the title, most fans would agree that this is the first true Mega Man game. Its extremely forgiving difficulty (other than the goddamn Boobeam Trap) is the only thing keeping it from all-time greatness.

If I become a Maverick, you have to… take care of me. Promise me, Zero.

After 8 classic Mega Man games, 3 Mega Man X games, and multiple handheld and spinoff games in either series (shout out to Mega Man Soccer), you’d probably expect Capcom’s formula to feel tired by now. Maybe it even did—I don’t exactly know how well-regarded this game was by critics. But for someone like me, Mega Man X4 represents a Capcom near the absolute pinnacle of their creative potential. X4 is an unshakeable fan favorite for good reason.

X4 has gorgeous 32-bit spritework, CD-quality music that perfectly matches every breakneck second of the experience, a unique story path for both X and Zero, and a fantastic collection of Mavericks, weapons/techniques and movement abilities that will be impossible to forget. It’s fruitless to attempt describing just how good this game looks and feels in motion. Mega Man X4 is an achievement in every sense of the word—one that I fear Capcom will never be able to replicate for the remainder of this subseries.