I really don’t want to hate a game just because the graphics are bad. Luckily, the game is unplayable too. This game is just embarrassing. Really. I want to spend more time in the game because I recognize that the gameplay is solid, but it’s genuinely keeping me from going back to it. The constant low frame rate of 5-10 fps on top of the awful geometry just disappearing all the time really takes you out of the game. It really sucks. I can see the potential of the game because of what new it brings to the series. I know that I would’ve had a great time completing my Pokédex and shiny hunting, but as soon as I was done with the game it just felt like a relief. I hate playing this game, and that’s the worst a game can be to me.

I hate slow games so much. But as long as there’s a puzzle jammed in there that I want to keep trying over and over again, I’m gonna play it.

And I’m really glad I did. This game may not be flashy or exciting, but I was on the edge of my seat the entire time trying to connect my 50 brain cells to figure out what placing down different orbs would have the effect on Mars’ economy.

The game looks gorgeous, too. It doesn’t really matter when the most important part is the game, but it’s still something to note.

There’s so many times when playing this game where I got stuck on some puzzle, going back and forth through different orbs until everything clicks. Some of the most satisfying moments I’ve ever had gaming are these “oh shiiiiiit thaaaaats what I’m supposed to do” things that make me feel like I’m the next Albert Einstein (I don’t know any other smart people to reference here).

I’ll admit it. I had to look up a guide a couple times but hey maybe if I had 51 brain cells I would be fine. Great, great game. Perfect length, too. 8/10.

Simply the best baseball game on the market. There’s a ton of content through 5 main modes. I sink almost all my time into Diamond Dynasty, which while the set rotation can get pretty annoying, it’s also pretty addictive. The MLB season has ended so there’s no more roster updates, but that adds a pretty fun economy with investing to it, which you then use to spend on the best players. Besides that I’ve only played the franchise mode, which would seem boring since there’s not really any gameplay, but it’s a really addicting side mode that you can easily sink hours and hours into trading and simulating seasons. I have a hard time giving it something like an 8 just because it’s a yearly sports game that’s only relevant for 9 months, but it can be a blast.

This is like one of the most creative games I’ve ever played. It takes the first Katamari game and expands on it with so many different ways of adapting the gameplay into new situations. Instead of just rolling up everything to reach a max volume, sometimes you’re rolling up snowballs to take down a snowman. Sometimes you have a Katamari on fire and you have to keep rolling it through campfires and other objects to keep the fire from burning out. Sometimes, instead of total volume, you have to roll up objects based on what they cost, and you have to get it to a certain price. There’s so much fun gameplay oozing here, and it’s just as fun as ever. The remake doesn’t do a ton differently from the original, but the game at its core is still amazing. Even at full msrp, it’s a steal.

I paid $50 for this game on the switch’s launch day, along with buying the console. I bought this instead of botw. I thought that it would hold more value since it’s multiplayer, and also I hadn’t played though all of a Zelda game at the time. I spent $50 on this game. It was innovative and fun for the first 30 minutes but then something awful happened. Its novelty wore off and I realized I spent $50 on this game. Luckily, I ended up taking a risk on me liking a game and picked up botw a couple months later, played it over the summer with the same friend I tried to play 1-2 switch with, and it became both of our favorite games of all time. Funny how that works. Even though BOTW is still an amazing game, if 1-2 switch hadn’t lowered the bar that much, I feel like any game would’ve been the greatest game to me at the time. I paid $50 for this game.

This is one of like 3 games from my childhood that still holds up. If you asked modern me and eight-year-old me what we thought of the game, we would both talk about the really cool part in Bowser's Castle where you drive on a rotating rod.

Courses are the main thing that really makes a Mario Kart game. Almost every game in the series prior to DS had some good courses, but only a few I could even think of wanting to play again. SNES has the most basic courses in the series, 64 had a couple of cool ones like Royal Raceway and its take on Bowser's Castle, Super Circuit on GBA had some great ideas like Cheese Land and Ribbon Road (although they felt pretty unrealized on the GBA), and Double Dash probably had the best ratio of okay courses to mediocre ones, specifically highlighting Dino Dino Jungle and Daisy Cruiser. So what makes DS's courses different?

The game's Mushroom Course starts off with the obligatory basic, beginner-level, Figure 8 Circuit. It may be boring. And it is. But hey, for what would be the most accessible game to younger players, it made sense to make something super simple with nearly no offroad segments. Yoshi's Falls followed it up, gradually adding some more aspects to levels. While not complex at all, it's a small and enjoyable course, with stuff like the waterfalls and the giant egg that doesn't do anything. But then the developers decided to finally make a good course with Cheep Cheep Beach. The atmosphere gives me a warm and cozy feeling, with some small, but nice shortcuts. It's still nothing big, but it's just building up to the truly insane courses. Luigi's Mansion is a course that I probably should hate because of the mud ruining your momentum in a great portion of the course, but I kind of love it since it's just a ton of people swerving around, with bananas inevitable. Obviously gonna be a safer cup, but it still holds a special place in my heart.

Don't be afraid, who else gets rock-hard to the Flower Cup in Mario Kart DS? This is probably my favorite cup in the game because it hits you immediately with some of the most creative ideas in the series. Of course, I'm going to have to mention Waluigi Pinball, which not only has a great theme but also some really wacky and off-the-wall elements, which has always shown to bring the best out of the series. A really big sleeper hit is Delfino Plaza, which I love for its many paths and lively atmosphere. There are so many different paths, which all are narrow pathways that build up suspense, especially if you don't have a banana or shell to protect you. The bridge jump rules too. Shroom Ridge is like the one and only course in the series where the car obstacles actually make it more fun. Plus, Desert Hills is like the one and only desert course in the series that looks aesthetically pleasing.

The next cup, The Star Cup, is easily the most difficult one. I know it's weird to say that about a relatively easy game, but then the subtitle for this review wouldn't make sense. Even without little me playing Mario 64, Tick Tock Clock was in like my top 3. I loved the random ass environment of driving in this big contraption, through rotating gears and the clock hands. Looking back at the game, I think I severely underrated Airship Fortress. It's quickly went from a solid course to one of my favorites. I love the Mario 3 references, I love the part when you get shot out of a cannon, I love drifting down the circular pillar, and I love the part where you dodge bullet bills. And DK Pass would be a top tier course too if those dumb ass snowmen weren't there at the end that I inevitably trip into on the 3rd lap and I go from 1st to 6th. Mario Circuit isn't bad but it’s like the most standard and basic course besides figure 8.

I'm so fucking good at this game oh my god. The Special Cup has some of the most memorable courses in the series. My personal favorite is and has always been its iteration of Bowser's Castle. The atmosphere is second to none, and I love the shortcuts. Not to mention the rotating rod part which is really really really really cool I swear. Peach Gardens is also kind of like a personal sleeper hit. Mushrooms can really cut through some big sections, and it feels so satisfying to maul through some monty moles with a star. The chain chomps also add some life to the course where it would be basic.

The 16 retro tracks in Super Circuit was a really cool edition, but since it was the SNES roster of tracks, I really couldn't care. But MKDS has a collection of the best courses through every prior MK game. Yoshi Circuit, Sky Garden, and Mushroom Bridge feel so adapted to the system, and you can really tell that these four extra cups doubling the count were no last-minute inclusion. Nearly every one of them is just a strictly better version of the old one, and adds some small things here and there.

I'm sure you've heard by now, but the mission mode is really something special. This is a new jam-packed mode full of some innovative and fun challenges that I'll always go for 3 stars in. I don't even know what else to say about it, it's just a super unique and replayable mode that the series has never brought back for some reason.

The unlockable characters are just really cool, but I really hope God doesn't care about me not liking Dry Bones. The odd one out is ROB, who was in this game before Brawl, which introduced many to him. I can't imagine how many kids just thought this guy was just some random ass new robot that they put into MKDS. Luckily, I'm immune from stupidity because I was never good enough as a kid to unlock him.

I wasn't sure whether or not to mention this, but there's a tech called Snaking that's kind of like the wavedashing of MKDS. It's not even an exploit or a glitch, all what you're doing is just really hurting your thumb to chain mini turbos in a very narrow space depending on how good you are. Snaking really changes a man, his thumbs, and opinions on the DS’s dpad.

Every part of me wants to love this game, and it's really working. Very solid 9/10. One of my favorite games of all time, and I'm not ashamed to love this instead of cult classic scrimbo bimbo rpg on the psp.