coldhands
1992
what the hell is this mane
1998
MY LEFT STICK
1999
i thought the shitty controls in star fox adventures were just a misstep, but i stand corrected. apparently rare was simply bad at making shooters.
1999
this ain't no cozy game or life sim, this is a strategy game. i felt like i was playing uncut gems: farming edition. there is no downtime at all, and with every choice i made i fucked up my character's life in ways i didn't even comprehend. what the hell
played on an emulator and honestly my 7 year old self was cracked at this game, i remember it fondly, might play it again someday
2000
so many swastikas...
2001
i actually genuinely disliked some villagers because they were assholes. i still have beef with that guy wolfgang or whatever his name is. bring that back, let cranky villagers be cranky and rude so i have a reason to hit them with my net.
2011
now pose for the fans
2003
goated, and i don't just say that about any game
2002
i love star fox adventures. it's a bad game, it's a bad star fox. when i played it i found myself asking many question: why is this story happening? what the hell are the controls for the arwing? what am i supposed to do now? what's with that weirdly sexual jazz music when fox sees krystal, isn't that a bit much? why am in this room again? why are the controls so bad? do i really have to sit through this animation again? why is fox's face so expressive? what the fuck, cliffracers are in this? how did i get stuck on this simple ass puzzle for 20 minutes? what happened, i just fell through the floor? why does that rock have a bad scottish accent?
2017
actually my favorite star fox game after the original star fox, but god is that art style creepy. why are they looking at me like that and why do they have human teeth.
1997
the japanese voice acting and characterization are miles better than the american/western ones. i don't like mike west as fox, nothing personal if you're reading this mike but you sound like a nerd.
worse than brawl by virtue of being confined to a 3ds, legitimately unplayable. i remember being frustrated with the controls and thinking it was impossible to tell what was going on on that small a screen.
2019
This review contains spoilers
i called that rose was going to be a bad guy right away during the intro lol
so janky, so good. even on a casual level this is, and has always been, my favourite smash game by FAR, i don't even care if it's hard and i'm bad.