coldhands
1992
what the hell is this mane
2022
This review contains spoilers
kind of bad as usual with newer pokemon games, but i liked area zero and the final battle with turo. the song that plays in area zero is a masterpiece, highlight of the game for real
subspace emissary is cool, but the gameplay itself is only enjoyable if you have legitimately no experience with (or have forgotten everything about) any other smash game. i dare anyone to try to play melee or even ultimate and immediately after hop on brawl and tell me it's not fucking unplayable. this game will always be dear to my heart but damn it's actual ass. plus the ost is overrated as fuck.
played on an emulator and honestly my 7 year old self was cracked at this game, i remember it fondly, might play it again someday
1999
i thought the shitty controls in star fox adventures were just a misstep, but i stand corrected. apparently rare was simply bad at making shooters.
1998
MY LEFT STICK
"nooo this isn't a heavy handed and shitty allegory for racism what makes you say thatttt" - david cage's dumb ass
2019
This review contains spoilers
i called that rose was going to be a bad guy right away during the intro lol
worse than brawl by virtue of being confined to a 3ds, legitimately unplayable. i remember being frustrated with the controls and thinking it was impossible to tell what was going on on that small a screen.
2017
actually my favorite star fox game after the original star fox, but god is that art style creepy. why are they looking at me like that and why do they have human teeth.
2002
i love star fox adventures. it's a bad game, it's a bad star fox. when i played it i found myself asking many question: why is this story happening? what the hell are the controls for the arwing? what am i supposed to do now? what's with that weirdly sexual jazz music when fox sees krystal, isn't that a bit much? why am in this room again? why are the controls so bad? do i really have to sit through this animation again? why is fox's face so expressive? what the fuck, cliffracers are in this? how did i get stuck on this simple ass puzzle for 20 minutes? what happened, i just fell through the floor? why does that rock have a bad scottish accent?
2003
goated, and i don't just say that about any game
2011
now pose for the fans
2001
i actually genuinely disliked some villagers because they were assholes. i still have beef with that guy wolfgang or whatever his name is. bring that back, let cranky villagers be cranky and rude so i have a reason to hit them with my net.
2000
so many swastikas...