curse
2021
daniel mullins' One Weird Trick is a little insufferable, and this felt closer to three undercooked games than anything resembling a coherent three act structure, but in the most grudging ass way I gotta say I sorta admire how hard it goes toward being exactly the thing that it is
mechanically it's a mess: three rulesets, none of them fleshed out or balanced past first glance; all of them crumbling to powder under the slightest scrutiny or (god forbid) munchkinism. each very promising but failing to make good on that promise cos its fascination with cartoon dynamite self sabotage is too heavy
one of those fucked up tonal and pacing exercises that feels like someone starting and stopping a car abruptly over and over for like ten hours. when you finish you unlock "kaycee's mod" — a mode that repurposes its first act as a standalone roguelite — which gives the impression of a white flag or acknowledgement that everything past that point is nowhere near as compelling; some conciliatory gesture that shines a light on the dueling self satisfaction/consciousness that permeates the entire experience
when the smoke and mirrors are set aside it's hard not to be disappointed that its primary feature is an inability to see anything through long enough for it to be meaningfully substantiated. maybe that's the point, but I'm not the kind of poindexter who gets off on that stuff, and aside from a genuine love of card games, ARGs, and fucking with people there doesn't seem to be any meat to latch onto. my good friend Morris always asks me how art makes me feel, and this makes me feel like I'm watching someone prove how clever they are at their work's expense. a series of parlour tricks and sleight of hand routines that amount to very, very little and prompt only the most basic ruminations on Games and Creation — and only as a smokescreen for more bullshit artist wizardry. for my next trick I will saw my own game in half~
but like I said, I do like how strongly it commits to absolute derailure (made this word up, which is my iconic gimmick). takes some sizable measure of guts to unrelentingly make your art worse for the sake of a bit, I just wish that bit was in any way as charming or compelling as it thinks it is
mechanically it's a mess: three rulesets, none of them fleshed out or balanced past first glance; all of them crumbling to powder under the slightest scrutiny or (god forbid) munchkinism. each very promising but failing to make good on that promise cos its fascination with cartoon dynamite self sabotage is too heavy
one of those fucked up tonal and pacing exercises that feels like someone starting and stopping a car abruptly over and over for like ten hours. when you finish you unlock "kaycee's mod" — a mode that repurposes its first act as a standalone roguelite — which gives the impression of a white flag or acknowledgement that everything past that point is nowhere near as compelling; some conciliatory gesture that shines a light on the dueling self satisfaction/consciousness that permeates the entire experience
when the smoke and mirrors are set aside it's hard not to be disappointed that its primary feature is an inability to see anything through long enough for it to be meaningfully substantiated. maybe that's the point, but I'm not the kind of poindexter who gets off on that stuff, and aside from a genuine love of card games, ARGs, and fucking with people there doesn't seem to be any meat to latch onto. my good friend Morris always asks me how art makes me feel, and this makes me feel like I'm watching someone prove how clever they are at their work's expense. a series of parlour tricks and sleight of hand routines that amount to very, very little and prompt only the most basic ruminations on Games and Creation — and only as a smokescreen for more bullshit artist wizardry. for my next trick I will saw my own game in half~
but like I said, I do like how strongly it commits to absolute derailure (made this word up, which is my iconic gimmick). takes some sizable measure of guts to unrelentingly make your art worse for the sake of a bit, I just wish that bit was in any way as charming or compelling as it thinks it is
considering WotC and chimera squad were already Figurative Marvel Shit, the pivot to Literal Marvel Shit is about the least surprising thing ever; if you didn't see this coming I suggest staying out of the entrail reading business. the real surprise here's that everyone buried the lede blubbering about deckbuilding stuff so thoroughly that I had no idea this was Meet n Fuck Marvel
not since borderlands 2 has a game's dialogue filled me with the primal unease of an ape seeing a particularly snakelike vine. started this up while my wife was in the shower and when she texted asking if I could make some coffee I knew the choice was to smash ALT+F4 or risk being divorced on the spot
the cardgame bit I'm kinda whatever about. I think I'd like it more if the camera was positioned anywhere else and it didn't lean so hard into Epic Cinematic Presentation that even the most basic actions take a century to unfold. it's cool you can do the type of MTG blue deck bullshit where your turn lasts so long the person on the other side of the table regrets being a nerd, but not cool enough to endure the simpering social layer, endless cutscenes, and deranged tutorializing that make up the bulk of the game
have to imagine you'd have a better time stuffing hulk hands in your ass while playing slay the spire
not since borderlands 2 has a game's dialogue filled me with the primal unease of an ape seeing a particularly snakelike vine. started this up while my wife was in the shower and when she texted asking if I could make some coffee I knew the choice was to smash ALT+F4 or risk being divorced on the spot
the cardgame bit I'm kinda whatever about. I think I'd like it more if the camera was positioned anywhere else and it didn't lean so hard into Epic Cinematic Presentation that even the most basic actions take a century to unfold. it's cool you can do the type of MTG blue deck bullshit where your turn lasts so long the person on the other side of the table regrets being a nerd, but not cool enough to endure the simpering social layer, endless cutscenes, and deranged tutorializing that make up the bulk of the game
have to imagine you'd have a better time stuffing hulk hands in your ass while playing slay the spire
2022
where most roleplaying spaces unfurl into greater mechanical, numerical dimensions, this only gets more and more hazy and frictionless over time; taking on a melancholic quality as you soar and glide effortlessly thru the world, decadent accumulation carving an ever-increasing gulf between You and Everything Else
sprawling curiosities, unreliable histories, and warbly metaphysics never making peace or finding balance with the ceaseless extrinsic rewards. excavation and communion of the dream growing distant as you pawn off Squirming Godlings to the highest bidder, buy out every house on the market, and upgrade weapons you don't need to kill things that pose no threat to acquire items you won't use
it's all the more uncanny cos none of the perverse little interloper privileges are of much benefit to you. save for a couple sloppy dungeon crawls dredged up out of the early 2000s there's hardly anything that demands to be solved thru violence or expenditure. all that hard power amounts to nothing compared to having a bunch of stats invested in candles
I agree with more or less every criticism that's been brought up to some extent, and I'm pretty sure that people who say it's like king's field probably send cryptograms to local newspapers when they're not LYING on the internet, but I like what's here more than I'm bothered by what isn't: the exploration and quaint little cartography; the surprising tenderness; the strange, incidental mode of unheroism; the disinterest in blood n bone problem solving; even the shameless Michael Kirkbride ReShade bits
when you make The Object Graveyard I can no longer take umbrage with your boss hitboxes being too tall to hit my character or the earlygame revolving around lockpicking for lockpicks so you can lockpick for exp to upgrade your lockpicking. I don't care, I just wanna see what's on that island over there
anyway, check it out: the swords are kissing
sprawling curiosities, unreliable histories, and warbly metaphysics never making peace or finding balance with the ceaseless extrinsic rewards. excavation and communion of the dream growing distant as you pawn off Squirming Godlings to the highest bidder, buy out every house on the market, and upgrade weapons you don't need to kill things that pose no threat to acquire items you won't use
it's all the more uncanny cos none of the perverse little interloper privileges are of much benefit to you. save for a couple sloppy dungeon crawls dredged up out of the early 2000s there's hardly anything that demands to be solved thru violence or expenditure. all that hard power amounts to nothing compared to having a bunch of stats invested in candles
I agree with more or less every criticism that's been brought up to some extent, and I'm pretty sure that people who say it's like king's field probably send cryptograms to local newspapers when they're not LYING on the internet, but I like what's here more than I'm bothered by what isn't: the exploration and quaint little cartography; the surprising tenderness; the strange, incidental mode of unheroism; the disinterest in blood n bone problem solving; even the shameless Michael Kirkbride ReShade bits
when you make The Object Graveyard I can no longer take umbrage with your boss hitboxes being too tall to hit my character or the earlygame revolving around lockpicking for lockpicks so you can lockpick for exp to upgrade your lockpicking. I don't care, I just wanna see what's on that island over there
anyway, check it out: the swords are kissing
2022
creating tension requires uncertainty, whether it's about where to go, what to do, what you might stumble into — whatever. it requires that there's some chance you might not make it through the next encounter, you might not have the resources to get to the next safe area, or that your victories might be pyrrhic. there has to be some reason to believe you have something to fear, and that has to be based on something of consequence
lunacid does a few things right, but it lacks that uncertainty. it's too generous, too tidy, and too easy to ever push you out of your comfort zone. despite ostensibly drawing heavily from king's field and shadow tower it lacks the backbone necessary to make a dungeon crawler work. to do these things right you have to be willing to give and take from the player in equal measure, you can't just coddle them
the design should be holistic: each component working in tandem with one another to accomplish the same goal. wear you out. run you down. disorient. disarm. overwhelm. the bread and butter of all these games, regardless of subgenre. combat, attrition, and navigation being individual threats that ebb and flow at different rates, but always in the same direction
this feels like a game where that wasn't considered at all. or if it was, it wasn't considered particularly thoughtfully. everything's weaker than you, and everything loses to kiting. the math is too player favoured, the environments are never leveraged meaningfully, and enemies can't compete with your movement or options. that you'll defeat your opponent is a foregone conclusion; it's practically deterministic. there's no threat of loss, no threat of failure, and no lingering doubt that you might not be prepared for what comes next
naturally this affects attrition because if there's no pushback there's no worry about dwindling resources. status effects could've helped a bit if they didn't disappear on their own, antidotes weren't 6 coins — three snails worth of cash — and bleed wasn't solved by kiting like everything else, but here we are. enemies won't hit you much anyway, so it doesn't really matter, but it's another bizarre decision in a game loaded with them
barely any traps, ambushes, unavoidable enemies, long uncertain treks, environmental damage, or anything. I walk from one pink crystal to another, I tear ass the entire way. I get to choose what enemies I engage with, I get to choose how I engage with them, and I'm always at an advantage. it's bewildering, and while I don't expect this to be some hard bone crunching experience, I do expect a pulse
the interconnected world is neat, and the levels are alright, but with everything inside them being so compromised it's just not enough to maintain my interest. hope king griffith, patches, siegmeyer, the moonlight greatsword, and the titanite demon do ok against the old one without me
love the soundtrakc tho
lunacid does a few things right, but it lacks that uncertainty. it's too generous, too tidy, and too easy to ever push you out of your comfort zone. despite ostensibly drawing heavily from king's field and shadow tower it lacks the backbone necessary to make a dungeon crawler work. to do these things right you have to be willing to give and take from the player in equal measure, you can't just coddle them
the design should be holistic: each component working in tandem with one another to accomplish the same goal. wear you out. run you down. disorient. disarm. overwhelm. the bread and butter of all these games, regardless of subgenre. combat, attrition, and navigation being individual threats that ebb and flow at different rates, but always in the same direction
this feels like a game where that wasn't considered at all. or if it was, it wasn't considered particularly thoughtfully. everything's weaker than you, and everything loses to kiting. the math is too player favoured, the environments are never leveraged meaningfully, and enemies can't compete with your movement or options. that you'll defeat your opponent is a foregone conclusion; it's practically deterministic. there's no threat of loss, no threat of failure, and no lingering doubt that you might not be prepared for what comes next
naturally this affects attrition because if there's no pushback there's no worry about dwindling resources. status effects could've helped a bit if they didn't disappear on their own, antidotes weren't 6 coins — three snails worth of cash — and bleed wasn't solved by kiting like everything else, but here we are. enemies won't hit you much anyway, so it doesn't really matter, but it's another bizarre decision in a game loaded with them
barely any traps, ambushes, unavoidable enemies, long uncertain treks, environmental damage, or anything. I walk from one pink crystal to another, I tear ass the entire way. I get to choose what enemies I engage with, I get to choose how I engage with them, and I'm always at an advantage. it's bewildering, and while I don't expect this to be some hard bone crunching experience, I do expect a pulse
the interconnected world is neat, and the levels are alright, but with everything inside them being so compromised it's just not enough to maintain my interest. hope king griffith, patches, siegmeyer, the moonlight greatsword, and the titanite demon do ok against the old one without me
love the soundtrakc tho
my inclination when faced with writing about this thing is to shovel hyperlinks of images, gifs, and cutscenes into a giant mound and call it a day. I can't think of a more brevitous or appropriate solution to the impossible problem of translating its astonishing presentation into words, and if that doesn't convince folks nothing will. they are men and women of unflinching granite; golems or homunculi or some unfeeling other. it is not my problem if they remain unphased by true beauty, they can blame themselves or god
in a medium where Best Looking discussions often come down to how many pores you can see on a gruff white dude's nose or how many subdermal triangles he has beneath it, this shit is transcendent; one of those reminders like okami or killer7 that going for SSS style ranks is what it's all about. I don't care about horse testicles shrinking in cold weather, I don't care about HairWorks, I don't care about RTX bullshit — I want this
I want goofy minigames, I want somber paintings, I want cute chibi spritework, and seedy VHS filters. this thing looks amazing, and not a single menu, loading screen, animation, or scene transition shows its face without some unique detail or stylistic divergence. there are AMV interludes, buddy — everyone else needs to pack it up and hit the showers, it's OVER
rarely are visuals this striking leveraged with this much grace and consideration; rarely do aesthetics slither and shapeshift so confidently in aid of such varied goals and tones. that it looks incredible is one thing, but that it's elevated so substantially by its employment is another thing entirely. it takes great pains to bring a work that's equal parts German Folk Horror, Lesbian Dating Sim, Resource Management Plate Spinner, and RPG Maker Adventure to life, and it does so to fabulous results
a fable of desire and longing fittingly made as sumptuous as possible
in a medium where Best Looking discussions often come down to how many pores you can see on a gruff white dude's nose or how many subdermal triangles he has beneath it, this shit is transcendent; one of those reminders like okami or killer7 that going for SSS style ranks is what it's all about. I don't care about horse testicles shrinking in cold weather, I don't care about HairWorks, I don't care about RTX bullshit — I want this
I want goofy minigames, I want somber paintings, I want cute chibi spritework, and seedy VHS filters. this thing looks amazing, and not a single menu, loading screen, animation, or scene transition shows its face without some unique detail or stylistic divergence. there are AMV interludes, buddy — everyone else needs to pack it up and hit the showers, it's OVER
rarely are visuals this striking leveraged with this much grace and consideration; rarely do aesthetics slither and shapeshift so confidently in aid of such varied goals and tones. that it looks incredible is one thing, but that it's elevated so substantially by its employment is another thing entirely. it takes great pains to bring a work that's equal parts German Folk Horror, Lesbian Dating Sim, Resource Management Plate Spinner, and RPG Maker Adventure to life, and it does so to fabulous results
a fable of desire and longing fittingly made as sumptuous as possible
2023
elaboration is disservice
knew I was deep into touhou when the most hype moment of a game I played this year was seeing aya from shoot the bullet show up as the boss of stage 4
bomb mechanic is iffy (as it often is) and I miss grazing, but everything else here's lovely so it's hard to complain. there's a celebratory whimsy and playfulness that's above and beyond even perfect cherry blossom; the kind of joyful bombast that just feels cozy and makes it easy to sink into effortlessly
the bosses are as good as ever, the backgrounds and portraits are better than ever, and the soundtrack might be the best one yet, but what stands out most to me is how much zun's honed his talent for giving even the smallest, faintest moments their own charming flourishes. little swerves like hina's introduction or nitori fleeing from her own initial midboss encounter before it starts are delightful, and tracing the lines as the series gets more and more confident with conveying personality thru mechanical and structural means has been an absolute pleasure; nearly every frame of a character's presence — thru danmaku, dialogue, or lack thereof — being used to fullest effect by this point, leveraging elegant, iterative design perfectly
it's time to admit zun's the most accomplished auteur in the medium and it's not even close
bomb mechanic is iffy (as it often is) and I miss grazing, but everything else here's lovely so it's hard to complain. there's a celebratory whimsy and playfulness that's above and beyond even perfect cherry blossom; the kind of joyful bombast that just feels cozy and makes it easy to sink into effortlessly
the bosses are as good as ever, the backgrounds and portraits are better than ever, and the soundtrack might be the best one yet, but what stands out most to me is how much zun's honed his talent for giving even the smallest, faintest moments their own charming flourishes. little swerves like hina's introduction or nitori fleeing from her own initial midboss encounter before it starts are delightful, and tracing the lines as the series gets more and more confident with conveying personality thru mechanical and structural means has been an absolute pleasure; nearly every frame of a character's presence — thru danmaku, dialogue, or lack thereof — being used to fullest effect by this point, leveraging elegant, iterative design perfectly
it's time to admit zun's the most accomplished auteur in the medium and it's not even close
should've called it zs
cos I'm snoozin
cos I'm snoozin
a few months ago I told backloggd D:OS was better than D:OS2. my heart and my best intentions still tell me that's true, but the facts and the evidence tell me it is not
you can expect my apology video shortly, I'm just looking for the right breed of dog to bring out the full flavour of how sorry I am
you can expect my apology video shortly, I'm just looking for the right breed of dog to bring out the full flavour of how sorry I am
1992
kirby's been my favourite little nintendo dude since smash bros first let me suck up my opponent and hurl us both to our doom, but I never spent much time with their games. that's gonna change... this could be the year of the kirb
despite the lack of colour, kirby's dream land feels vibrant; bursting with jubilant charm. so well realized thru expressive spritework and sound design that the limitations of the gameboy's colour palette seem to melt away
very short + syrupy sweet, it packs about as many imaginative ideas as possible in the 30~ minutes it takes to finish a standard run. from the distinct air mobility, to the iconic suck, to warping on stars, hollering into microphones, spitting fire, doing synchronized dances, dropping bombs, fighting an STG boss, and being shot into the clouds by a whale — kirby arrives remarkably fully formed, and does so with an abundance of trademark chaotic whimsy
while power thieving would end up being the final piece that brought the character together, it's hard not to think of this as a resounding success — a sugar rush that hits on everything it intends to and then leaves as quick as it arrived. my limited exposure to subsequent games tells me it only gets better from here, but here is a pretty lovely place to be too
bye-bye
despite the lack of colour, kirby's dream land feels vibrant; bursting with jubilant charm. so well realized thru expressive spritework and sound design that the limitations of the gameboy's colour palette seem to melt away
very short + syrupy sweet, it packs about as many imaginative ideas as possible in the 30~ minutes it takes to finish a standard run. from the distinct air mobility, to the iconic suck, to warping on stars, hollering into microphones, spitting fire, doing synchronized dances, dropping bombs, fighting an STG boss, and being shot into the clouds by a whale — kirby arrives remarkably fully formed, and does so with an abundance of trademark chaotic whimsy
while power thieving would end up being the final piece that brought the character together, it's hard not to think of this as a resounding success — a sugar rush that hits on everything it intends to and then leaves as quick as it arrived. my limited exposure to subsequent games tells me it only gets better from here, but here is a pretty lovely place to be too
bye-bye
1992
convinced a generation of impressionable children to throw spears at each other and fuck up their friends with shadow kicks and ball breakers. it was hell on earth; some of them even played raiden
boy oh fuckin boy. we finally got a 40K game that adequately captures a world bigger than snoozy bottle episode conflicts and positions its tonality closer to original intent than unironic fascism endorsement. remember this shit was supposed to be satirical? well,
landing on a new planet, having your lackeys introduce you rather than deign to do it yourself, and behaving like an all around prissy idiot is the vibe here. I know you could play as the emperor's lapdog or a chaotic evil heretic, but I'm always gonna be a condescending, drink swirling, eye rolling, "crime lord" brat if given the opportunity. I like to think when I align with any sorta dogma it's with a camera mugging wink. I'm JUST lying; I am literally always lying; I have no convictions outside of demented egoism. don't think there's an rpg in recent memory that more convincingly backs up your inherent desire to choose the best/funniest/optimal outcomes with a player character that's canonically shitty enough to do just that
it's all pretty much age-of-sail bullshit: show up, colonize, reap the benefits of your exploitation, manage your fucked up evil empire, engage in ship battles; that sorta thing. while I don't think it gets into being as much of a commentary as the material naturally lends itself toward (and was designed to be), it's certainly a game that's at its best when it understands just how awful you and your companions are and leans into it further. there's often an Aw Shucks do-gooder option, but it feels more like a genre vestige than a path worth pursuing; a consolation prize for those who don't mind how much it clashes with all the kidnapping and murder and backstabbing the game expects you to do. no one gonna convince me the "lawful good" bit works in this setting at all, let alone a game where the friendliest dialogue choice might involve threatening to execute someone on the spot, but sure
combat feels real good, real thick and chunky with gratuitous slo-mo and turning people into red goulash via all manner of awful implements. instead of being a fetish monument to baldur's gate (1/2) style prebuffing, RT's homebrewed ruleset focuses more on integrating that stuff directly into the general flow of things. you can make quite a few actions on a given turn, and a good portion's likely gonna be dedicated to setting up wild chains of buffs and debuffs so you can trigger a series of stacked bonuses or maluses — delicately setting up sequences in advance before seeing the plan snap together in a quick burst of catharsis
character progression works similarly: hypergranular in all the right ways to make tinkering fun; a slow roll snowball where you gradually build up passives and synergies with level ups. you never hit X level and get something like a fireball that gives you the popeye spinach all at once, it's more like minute, incremental improvements that inevitably add up to something fucked up down the line. balance is totally out the window, and it's easy to trivialize even harder difficulties with certain roles, but it's a joy to piece everything together and if you (understandably) want more control than something like 5E allows, this is the antidote to that. even before getting into the itemization and all the avenues it opens up, this is 100% math porno for build perverts
on the other hand the encounter design's a mixed bag. owlcat's always been studied devotees of the infinity engine, and these still feel like rtwp fights despite being designed from the ground up for a turn based system. it works on the basis of its core mechanics being (mostly) solid, but owlcat still seems uninterested or unable to take a more economical tack with these things for whatever reason
when its firing on all cylinder's it's fabulous; when some "electro-priest" (me when i listen to drexciya) drops from the ceiling and says something about the "motive force" I don't know what it means, but I know it's pretty sick. and when I parry them six times in a row and hit em with enough debuffs to make an SMT fan puke that's sick too. the bosses, setpieces, and event fights rule, and I'd put at least a handful up there with the best in recent memory, but you could cut out a solid quarter of the lesser fights and no one would complain a bit. trash mobs work in rtwp cos you can carve thru them like it's diablo, but when an equivalent fight take significantly longer and each turn requires 6-12~ actions, the approach starts to look a lot less sound
elsewhere we got the colony management stuff which isn't my favourite thing in the world. it's necessary and consonant with the themes and setting, but as a mechanical endeavor they drag it out in some unpleasant ways. i need a way to throw up Do Not Disturb on my shit. silent mode on my shit. every two seconds I'm getting phone calls. rogue trader, we hate to bother you, but we need your help. rogue trader, is the dress blue or gold? rogue trader, there's this girl I like...
buddy, I'm here to subjugate you. clearly I've made some sort of error if you think I'm going to solve your problems. worst bit is that you gotta warp on over to the colony and the choice will be something like GET AMBUSHED BY 100 DARK ELDAR CBT SHIPS or PAY ONE (1) PROFIT FACTOR. I'm feeling a lot like ricky every time these freaks roll up and it's exhausting
ship combat absolutely rules when you're not outnumbered to the point of losing before getting a turn though. nothing fancy, just the most cozy balmy breezy vibes. you don't know what satisfaction is until you get into a situation like this and I'd buy a standalone spinoff that iterated on this stuff no questions asked. I'd throw on a giant sweater, chug black coffee, and lose an entire winter plinking away at it, easy
but it's about time we get to the biggest issue by far: this game's buggy as fuck, ranging from cute little cosmetic nothings and wonky skills to full on softlocks and run enders.I've managed to avoid the real gamebreaking nightmare outcomes so far, but it'd be real disingenuous not to emphasize how raw it gets — especially when the tutorial's longer than a given 2h refund window
at first I thought the tactical knowledge skill was broken (didn't work at all) but then I realized it was broken (line of sight/tooltip bugs), and then I realized it was broken (obliterates game balance). there's a lot of stuff like this in here; stuff that either works incredibly well, doesn't work at all, works different than suggested, or a mix of the above
I've seen misaligned inventory grids that make entire rows of items inaccessible; t-posing, animation stutters and weird cosmetic glitches; fights that go down to an average of 5 fps on a 3060ti/i5-10400 pc; enemy turns idling for 30+ seconds; ships flying away from the battle and taking 20+ turns to catch up to; zone transitions and movement not working; keyboard disconnections; major fights where allies are stuck with 0AP; combat templates carrying over to the world map; fake cover; and a host of other issues I've forgotten by now — and that's without getting into how quirky line-of-sight and allied AI are on average. you have a better chance of winning the lottery than avoiding friendly NPCs mercilessly unloading full automatic bursts into your party members' spinal columns every turn. enemies WILL shoot you through walls with impunity out of nowhere from time to time and you're gonna have to suck it up when it happens
rogue trader is the most crpg crpg I've played in a long time. a sort of time capsule of busted rulesets, buggy launches, total freedom to break the game over your knee, and some truly great roleplaying and combat hindered by outsized ambitions and developers who might be a little bit too passionate for their own good
a throwback to a bygone era of black isles and troikas making messy masterpieces that sputter and clang and crackle with manic enthusiasm and strange and bizarre malfunctions while being the first 40K game to really nail the setting and show off just how interesting the worldbuilding and lore is when its not being constrained by narrow, unimaginative storytelling
for all its problems — many of which are severe and hard to pardon — it's a weird dream game for me. if owlcat can wrangle it into being a functional piece of software I'd bump the score in a heartbeat, even assuming everything else remains completely deranged. takes all the promise of the setting that I'd been dying to see properly realized in a game and blends it with classic crpg design at its most jittery and electric, proving further (as if there was any doubt) that this style of rpg isn't going anywhere, nor should it
landing on a new planet, having your lackeys introduce you rather than deign to do it yourself, and behaving like an all around prissy idiot is the vibe here. I know you could play as the emperor's lapdog or a chaotic evil heretic, but I'm always gonna be a condescending, drink swirling, eye rolling, "crime lord" brat if given the opportunity. I like to think when I align with any sorta dogma it's with a camera mugging wink. I'm JUST lying; I am literally always lying; I have no convictions outside of demented egoism. don't think there's an rpg in recent memory that more convincingly backs up your inherent desire to choose the best/funniest/optimal outcomes with a player character that's canonically shitty enough to do just that
it's all pretty much age-of-sail bullshit: show up, colonize, reap the benefits of your exploitation, manage your fucked up evil empire, engage in ship battles; that sorta thing. while I don't think it gets into being as much of a commentary as the material naturally lends itself toward (and was designed to be), it's certainly a game that's at its best when it understands just how awful you and your companions are and leans into it further. there's often an Aw Shucks do-gooder option, but it feels more like a genre vestige than a path worth pursuing; a consolation prize for those who don't mind how much it clashes with all the kidnapping and murder and backstabbing the game expects you to do. no one gonna convince me the "lawful good" bit works in this setting at all, let alone a game where the friendliest dialogue choice might involve threatening to execute someone on the spot, but sure
combat feels real good, real thick and chunky with gratuitous slo-mo and turning people into red goulash via all manner of awful implements. instead of being a fetish monument to baldur's gate (1/2) style prebuffing, RT's homebrewed ruleset focuses more on integrating that stuff directly into the general flow of things. you can make quite a few actions on a given turn, and a good portion's likely gonna be dedicated to setting up wild chains of buffs and debuffs so you can trigger a series of stacked bonuses or maluses — delicately setting up sequences in advance before seeing the plan snap together in a quick burst of catharsis
character progression works similarly: hypergranular in all the right ways to make tinkering fun; a slow roll snowball where you gradually build up passives and synergies with level ups. you never hit X level and get something like a fireball that gives you the popeye spinach all at once, it's more like minute, incremental improvements that inevitably add up to something fucked up down the line. balance is totally out the window, and it's easy to trivialize even harder difficulties with certain roles, but it's a joy to piece everything together and if you (understandably) want more control than something like 5E allows, this is the antidote to that. even before getting into the itemization and all the avenues it opens up, this is 100% math porno for build perverts
on the other hand the encounter design's a mixed bag. owlcat's always been studied devotees of the infinity engine, and these still feel like rtwp fights despite being designed from the ground up for a turn based system. it works on the basis of its core mechanics being (mostly) solid, but owlcat still seems uninterested or unable to take a more economical tack with these things for whatever reason
when its firing on all cylinder's it's fabulous; when some "electro-priest" (me when i listen to drexciya) drops from the ceiling and says something about the "motive force" I don't know what it means, but I know it's pretty sick. and when I parry them six times in a row and hit em with enough debuffs to make an SMT fan puke that's sick too. the bosses, setpieces, and event fights rule, and I'd put at least a handful up there with the best in recent memory, but you could cut out a solid quarter of the lesser fights and no one would complain a bit. trash mobs work in rtwp cos you can carve thru them like it's diablo, but when an equivalent fight take significantly longer and each turn requires 6-12~ actions, the approach starts to look a lot less sound
elsewhere we got the colony management stuff which isn't my favourite thing in the world. it's necessary and consonant with the themes and setting, but as a mechanical endeavor they drag it out in some unpleasant ways. i need a way to throw up Do Not Disturb on my shit. silent mode on my shit. every two seconds I'm getting phone calls. rogue trader, we hate to bother you, but we need your help. rogue trader, is the dress blue or gold? rogue trader, there's this girl I like...
buddy, I'm here to subjugate you. clearly I've made some sort of error if you think I'm going to solve your problems. worst bit is that you gotta warp on over to the colony and the choice will be something like GET AMBUSHED BY 100 DARK ELDAR CBT SHIPS or PAY ONE (1) PROFIT FACTOR. I'm feeling a lot like ricky every time these freaks roll up and it's exhausting
ship combat absolutely rules when you're not outnumbered to the point of losing before getting a turn though. nothing fancy, just the most cozy balmy breezy vibes. you don't know what satisfaction is until you get into a situation like this and I'd buy a standalone spinoff that iterated on this stuff no questions asked. I'd throw on a giant sweater, chug black coffee, and lose an entire winter plinking away at it, easy
but it's about time we get to the biggest issue by far: this game's buggy as fuck, ranging from cute little cosmetic nothings and wonky skills to full on softlocks and run enders.
at first I thought the tactical knowledge skill was broken (didn't work at all) but then I realized it was broken (line of sight/tooltip bugs), and then I realized it was broken (obliterates game balance). there's a lot of stuff like this in here; stuff that either works incredibly well, doesn't work at all, works different than suggested, or a mix of the above
I've seen misaligned inventory grids that make entire rows of items inaccessible; t-posing, animation stutters and weird cosmetic glitches; fights that go down to an average of 5 fps on a 3060ti/i5-10400 pc; enemy turns idling for 30+ seconds; ships flying away from the battle and taking 20+ turns to catch up to; zone transitions and movement not working; keyboard disconnections; major fights where allies are stuck with 0AP; combat templates carrying over to the world map; fake cover; and a host of other issues I've forgotten by now — and that's without getting into how quirky line-of-sight and allied AI are on average. you have a better chance of winning the lottery than avoiding friendly NPCs mercilessly unloading full automatic bursts into your party members' spinal columns every turn. enemies WILL shoot you through walls with impunity out of nowhere from time to time and you're gonna have to suck it up when it happens
rogue trader is the most crpg crpg I've played in a long time. a sort of time capsule of busted rulesets, buggy launches, total freedom to break the game over your knee, and some truly great roleplaying and combat hindered by outsized ambitions and developers who might be a little bit too passionate for their own good
a throwback to a bygone era of black isles and troikas making messy masterpieces that sputter and clang and crackle with manic enthusiasm and strange and bizarre malfunctions while being the first 40K game to really nail the setting and show off just how interesting the worldbuilding and lore is when its not being constrained by narrow, unimaginative storytelling
for all its problems — many of which are severe and hard to pardon — it's a weird dream game for me. if owlcat can wrangle it into being a functional piece of software I'd bump the score in a heartbeat, even assuming everything else remains completely deranged. takes all the promise of the setting that I'd been dying to see properly realized in a game and blends it with classic crpg design at its most jittery and electric, proving further (as if there was any doubt) that this style of rpg isn't going anywhere, nor should it
When Gamers Saw This Soma Cruz They Turned Pale And Called The Cops
4 Signs Telling That Draculas Are Living Inside Your Body!
'Pssst' Skeletons Hate When You Do This, But They Can't Stop You (It's Genius)
Malacoda Gives Birth to Barbariccia — When Doctor Sees It, He says "That's Not A Barbariccia"
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4 Signs Telling That Draculas Are Living Inside Your Body!
'Pssst' Skeletons Hate When You Do This, But They Can't Stop You (It's Genius)
Malacoda Gives Birth to Barbariccia — When Doctor Sees It, He says "That's Not A Barbariccia"
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2010
showing up to the bank with a note that reads
"darksiders is my favourite 3D zelda"
aghast, the teller knows I can't be reasoned with and Sir Robert Bordens flood my sack
"darksiders is my favourite 3D zelda"
aghast, the teller knows I can't be reasoned with and Sir Robert Bordens flood my sack
1997
the most unsalted tops ass shooter of the era. something of a canary in the coalmine in hindsight and the first of many dead eyed john carmack tech demos that lack the human component that made id's earlier work so compelling — namely john romero and sandy petersen
a comprehensive downgrade from atmosphere to movement to weapons to maps to enemy designs, functions, and even silhouettes. while it doesn't play poorly it settles on a perfunctory lurch early on and operates comfortably in that space til end credits roll four hours later
I revisit this thing every few years when the psyop hits successfully and seem to enjoy it less and less each time. in fairness I don't mind the quasi hub format even if it feels real conservative following hexen and strife, some of the setpieces are cute, and I eventually came around on how every monster looks like it was inspired by toy story. at one point I walked into a room full of people doin an elmer fudd thing for some reason? I don't know dude, this game's real dumb
a comprehensive downgrade from atmosphere to movement to weapons to maps to enemy designs, functions, and even silhouettes. while it doesn't play poorly it settles on a perfunctory lurch early on and operates comfortably in that space til end credits roll four hours later
I revisit this thing every few years when the psyop hits successfully and seem to enjoy it less and less each time. in fairness I don't mind the quasi hub format even if it feels real conservative following hexen and strife, some of the setpieces are cute, and I eventually came around on how every monster looks like it was inspired by toy story. at one point I walked into a room full of people doin an elmer fudd thing for some reason? I don't know dude, this game's real dumb