deadlydonut
756 reviews liked by deadlydonut
Elden Ring
2022
Game of the generation. More open world games need to feel like real worlds that don't waste your time.
Rocket League
2015
SUUUUUUUUU, FURB⚽
Far Cry: Primal
2016
Me Caveman.
I will Unga and if Sun God willing, maybe some Bunga too. It don’t take much for caveman to have oog oog time, maybe throw rock, hang dong. No brain required. Game give big field for caveman to swing stick but after seeing two or three moons and bludgeon creatures, caveman ended up honk-shoo honk-shoo on hard rock bed.
Game give too many menus about tree with skill and item craft with backpack limit. Too restrictive for caveman. Let caveman have unlimited inventory so caveman don’t lose eyes to the sacred roll when woman caveman ask for new hut. Now caveman has to walk to cold cave and dodge 74th jaguar kitty to pick “rare” weed and skin “rare” wolf with the same brain melt music playing in caveman cranium. Tree with skill only offer caveman simple bonus resource and no damage ups. Make hard for caveman to grubbagrong the other cavemen who come in drove with massive damage stick. Somehow bad caveman see me caveman from too far away and now the country of bad caveman on me caveman ass. Only funny when random mammoth spawn nearby and mammoth kill most of other tribe unprompted. Caveman find tribe infiltration boring, but game kept making caveman do tribe infiltration.
Me caveman found badger, named him Ciabatta. Ciabatta good badger who kill most other cavemen, only cool thing that make caveman unhinge mouth and point at during game. Ciabatta not fair well with bad bosses though, bosses and mini-bosses crush Ciabatta in one swing. Then caveman die. Caveman no like when perish because game say checkpoint, but not load checkpoint upon rainbow bridge traversal. Ciabatta and all other caveman friends stay dead but bad cavemen already killed get revived by Moon Goddess. It feel like Yak ass when happen. Two big bosses in game unimpress caveman. Would rather take nap in Sun than play cat and mouse pot shot with ice man and arrow lady and their mitosis spawning cavemen family. Final fight is butt cheese from oldest mammoth, only amount to playing peek-a-boo with baby while she hide behind door caveman not allowed to smash down for some reason.
Caveman also have to mention that universe would randomly stop moving around him, bringing him back to something called PS5 screen. PS5 screen appear whenever cutscene happen or caveman fast travel, making caveman have to redo thing again. PS5 screen appear many times, now worship him every Sunday sun rise. Cavemen and animals sometimes stuck in crevice then learn to fly due to Physics God drinking too much fermented stew. Caveman know that when boss at 0 HP then boss should be taken away by One Who Kills, yet some bosses still live with empty health bar and take 30 more rock to face before succumbing to weak knees. Caveman clenched butthole too hard wondering if game broken while trying to survive and not redo 30 minute fight with gabagoog.
Caveman think made mistake buying funny caveman game and expecting caveman time. Game not work well and make caveman fun time too much of chore like wife ask. If other Far Cry games like this, caveman would rather have brain matter splattered on rock instead.
I will Unga and if Sun God willing, maybe some Bunga too. It don’t take much for caveman to have oog oog time, maybe throw rock, hang dong. No brain required. Game give big field for caveman to swing stick but after seeing two or three moons and bludgeon creatures, caveman ended up honk-shoo honk-shoo on hard rock bed.
Game give too many menus about tree with skill and item craft with backpack limit. Too restrictive for caveman. Let caveman have unlimited inventory so caveman don’t lose eyes to the sacred roll when woman caveman ask for new hut. Now caveman has to walk to cold cave and dodge 74th jaguar kitty to pick “rare” weed and skin “rare” wolf with the same brain melt music playing in caveman cranium. Tree with skill only offer caveman simple bonus resource and no damage ups. Make hard for caveman to grubbagrong the other cavemen who come in drove with massive damage stick. Somehow bad caveman see me caveman from too far away and now the country of bad caveman on me caveman ass. Only funny when random mammoth spawn nearby and mammoth kill most of other tribe unprompted. Caveman find tribe infiltration boring, but game kept making caveman do tribe infiltration.
Me caveman found badger, named him Ciabatta. Ciabatta good badger who kill most other cavemen, only cool thing that make caveman unhinge mouth and point at during game. Ciabatta not fair well with bad bosses though, bosses and mini-bosses crush Ciabatta in one swing. Then caveman die. Caveman no like when perish because game say checkpoint, but not load checkpoint upon rainbow bridge traversal. Ciabatta and all other caveman friends stay dead but bad cavemen already killed get revived by Moon Goddess. It feel like Yak ass when happen. Two big bosses in game unimpress caveman. Would rather take nap in Sun than play cat and mouse pot shot with ice man and arrow lady and their mitosis spawning cavemen family. Final fight is butt cheese from oldest mammoth, only amount to playing peek-a-boo with baby while she hide behind door caveman not allowed to smash down for some reason.
Caveman also have to mention that universe would randomly stop moving around him, bringing him back to something called PS5 screen. PS5 screen appear whenever cutscene happen or caveman fast travel, making caveman have to redo thing again. PS5 screen appear many times, now worship him every Sunday sun rise. Cavemen and animals sometimes stuck in crevice then learn to fly due to Physics God drinking too much fermented stew. Caveman know that when boss at 0 HP then boss should be taken away by One Who Kills, yet some bosses still live with empty health bar and take 30 more rock to face before succumbing to weak knees. Caveman clenched butthole too hard wondering if game broken while trying to survive and not redo 30 minute fight with gabagoog.
Caveman think made mistake buying funny caveman game and expecting caveman time. Game not work well and make caveman fun time too much of chore like wife ask. If other Far Cry games like this, caveman would rather have brain matter splattered on rock instead.
The idea of what is basically anime Hitman is funny and genuinely a great idea... too bad the guy who made it is an awful person AND an awful dev.
I'd love to see a more competent dev or team pull off the idea, because there's some potential here.
I'd love to see a more competent dev or team pull off the idea, because there's some potential here.
Lumines Remastered
2018
This is kind of a personal review about a friend that's gone and looking back into some bad times so if this isn't your cup of tea then here is me giving you a warning now, thank you.
July 2020
Ex And Oh: "It really seems like the world is ending, like we're all stagnating"
Alex: "Being couped up like this has been rough for me, I was gonna travel a lot this year and this pandemic kinda shot that in the water"
Ex And Oh: "You're telling me, I never mind being stuck in one place but I just want to move on with my life, we were finally gonna meet up"
Alex: "Once this whole thing blows over, let's do that and get some pollo a la brasa bro"
Road of brightness, I will get there, and shinin
Lumines from the second you boot it always felt like a good time coming, but for me it's more bittersweet. It was one of my best friend's favorite games from the PSP's halcyon days due to his love for puzzles and the infectious fusion of music that Mizuguchi's more prominent works have been known for. Blending puzzle and rhythm puts you further into a zen like state that any other game with either or possibly can.
Ex And Oh: "Yeah I like Tetris, why what's up?"
Alex: "Heard of Lumines? It's from the dude that made Tetris Effect"
Ex And Oh: "Yeah I love Tetris Effect, waiting for the Switch version or for it to hit Steam to actually buy it, money is rough right now"
Alex: "Been playing more during my down time and haven't played it for years, the switch version is pretty cool with the rumble, you should give it a try"
Ex And Oh: "Yeah I will"
Shake your body, Shake your body, Shake your body
Despite my personal feelings, a huge variety of skins and music makes Lumines feel like a celebration in its basic challenge mode rather than an arduous climb to the top. Like the actual Tetris Effect before it, Lumines can incur the effect of seeing 2x2 blocks in life (at least for me) after a while. Even the soundtrack itself can incur good memories with how upbeat most of the soundtrack using electrical sound and calming vocals that serve as a reminder to despite attempting a moderately difficult challenge to also just take it easy and have fun.
Out for a walk, gone forever
Ex And Oh: "Hey this game is pretty sick, music is stellar and the gameplay is almost just as addicting as Tetris"
Alex: "Yeah the music is nuts, I sadly never got past 60% of the game but hearing shake your body gives me that happy rush I really need"
Ex And Oh: "Been wanting to try out more stuff and expand my horizons so thanks for showing me this, hope things are alright with you"
Alex: "I'm trying my best man"
Each run takes longer and longer demanding more and more from you to keep the board clear, a unique feature of the Switch version rumbles with the gameplay and music bringing a third sense into the mix of feeling Lumines. I feel like Lumines reflects life with its tempo changes, upbeat and faster songs to reflect the small moments of celebration and happiness and more ambient and slow paced songs to reflect the constant lull we face. Of course each life is different and each basic challenge in Lumines will always be the same but how we tackle it will always be different when we're given the same blocks.
Celebrating life, ours
Ex And Oh: "We keep losing brothers and sisters to this life, the only few people that showed me kindness are the ones to leave early"
Lisa: "im sorry man, losing a friend is never easy"
Ex And Oh: "Sorry for venting, it just keeps happening"
Beating the basic challenge left me surprising empty, all I could think about was my friend never getting the chance to even beat the basic mode. It sucks that this is all I can really remember him but a single game recommendation is just one of the many proofs in the world that he did exist, something he had trouble realizing himself and always wishing he can finally move forward in life when the world wouldn't let him. One of the many video games that can bring people together in a time that it feels like we're closing each other off.
July 2020
Ex And Oh: "It really seems like the world is ending, like we're all stagnating"
Alex: "Being couped up like this has been rough for me, I was gonna travel a lot this year and this pandemic kinda shot that in the water"
Ex And Oh: "You're telling me, I never mind being stuck in one place but I just want to move on with my life, we were finally gonna meet up"
Alex: "Once this whole thing blows over, let's do that and get some pollo a la brasa bro"
Road of brightness, I will get there, and shinin
Lumines from the second you boot it always felt like a good time coming, but for me it's more bittersweet. It was one of my best friend's favorite games from the PSP's halcyon days due to his love for puzzles and the infectious fusion of music that Mizuguchi's more prominent works have been known for. Blending puzzle and rhythm puts you further into a zen like state that any other game with either or possibly can.
Ex And Oh: "Yeah I like Tetris, why what's up?"
Alex: "Heard of Lumines? It's from the dude that made Tetris Effect"
Ex And Oh: "Yeah I love Tetris Effect, waiting for the Switch version or for it to hit Steam to actually buy it, money is rough right now"
Alex: "Been playing more during my down time and haven't played it for years, the switch version is pretty cool with the rumble, you should give it a try"
Ex And Oh: "Yeah I will"
Shake your body, Shake your body, Shake your body
Despite my personal feelings, a huge variety of skins and music makes Lumines feel like a celebration in its basic challenge mode rather than an arduous climb to the top. Like the actual Tetris Effect before it, Lumines can incur the effect of seeing 2x2 blocks in life (at least for me) after a while. Even the soundtrack itself can incur good memories with how upbeat most of the soundtrack using electrical sound and calming vocals that serve as a reminder to despite attempting a moderately difficult challenge to also just take it easy and have fun.
Out for a walk, gone forever
Ex And Oh: "Hey this game is pretty sick, music is stellar and the gameplay is almost just as addicting as Tetris"
Alex: "Yeah the music is nuts, I sadly never got past 60% of the game but hearing shake your body gives me that happy rush I really need"
Ex And Oh: "Been wanting to try out more stuff and expand my horizons so thanks for showing me this, hope things are alright with you"
Alex: "I'm trying my best man"
Each run takes longer and longer demanding more and more from you to keep the board clear, a unique feature of the Switch version rumbles with the gameplay and music bringing a third sense into the mix of feeling Lumines. I feel like Lumines reflects life with its tempo changes, upbeat and faster songs to reflect the small moments of celebration and happiness and more ambient and slow paced songs to reflect the constant lull we face. Of course each life is different and each basic challenge in Lumines will always be the same but how we tackle it will always be different when we're given the same blocks.
Celebrating life, ours
Ex And Oh: "We keep losing brothers and sisters to this life, the only few people that showed me kindness are the ones to leave early"
Lisa: "im sorry man, losing a friend is never easy"
Ex And Oh: "Sorry for venting, it just keeps happening"
Beating the basic challenge left me surprising empty, all I could think about was my friend never getting the chance to even beat the basic mode. It sucks that this is all I can really remember him but a single game recommendation is just one of the many proofs in the world that he did exist, something he had trouble realizing himself and always wishing he can finally move forward in life when the world wouldn't let him. One of the many video games that can bring people together in a time that it feels like we're closing each other off.
American Arcadia
2023
Al final de un juego que tiene plataformas de mentira, sigilo de mentira, puzzles de mentira, una trama distópica haciendo críticas de mentira sobre nada, se revela lo obvio. El juego no tiene ni una pizca de esperanza de que las cosas puedan ir a mejor o de que los seres humanos se comporten como tal, y en los créditos se asegura de mostrar que todo intento de su (pobre y falsa) idea de revolución es devorado por el mercado.
Esto se debe a que es un juego devorado por el mercado, por la tendencia, por la mentira, por hacer porque sí, por ser rentable, porque no cree que los humanos tengan nada que hacer por gusto, porque cree que cualquiera se vende o como poco se acaba engatusando por el mal. En esta secuencia de créditos con tono burlón y desesperanzador, el punto de miseria más alto es uno inesperado y accidental. Entre los mensajes de agradecimiento de los desarrolladores, por lo general nada fuera de lo normal, uno de ellos dedica unas palabras muy sentidas a su madre fallecida recientemente. Después de tantas horas de falsedad choca ver un acto tan escondido y tan humano de la nada, que tarda poco en desaparecer de pantalla mientras una versión ensalzada de ironía de la canción recurrente principal sigue sonando, mientras las imágenes de fondo y la escena post créditos se suceden perpetuando que el ser humano no importa y que no tiene capacidad de empatía ni de amor.
Esto se debe a que es un juego devorado por el mercado, por la tendencia, por la mentira, por hacer porque sí, por ser rentable, porque no cree que los humanos tengan nada que hacer por gusto, porque cree que cualquiera se vende o como poco se acaba engatusando por el mal. En esta secuencia de créditos con tono burlón y desesperanzador, el punto de miseria más alto es uno inesperado y accidental. Entre los mensajes de agradecimiento de los desarrolladores, por lo general nada fuera de lo normal, uno de ellos dedica unas palabras muy sentidas a su madre fallecida recientemente. Después de tantas horas de falsedad choca ver un acto tan escondido y tan humano de la nada, que tarda poco en desaparecer de pantalla mientras una versión ensalzada de ironía de la canción recurrente principal sigue sonando, mientras las imágenes de fondo y la escena post créditos se suceden perpetuando que el ser humano no importa y que no tiene capacidad de empatía ni de amor.
Counter-Strike 2
2023
It's okay when Valve does it. They are so lucky they've got Olympic dickriders in every sector.
HellSinker
2007
100% achievements.
November 6th, 2023, marks the day I would begin my journey of playing Hellsinker. 5 months and a day to be exact. With interest spawning from a stray suggestion by a friend of mine, this would quickly result in an obsessive play-through which then graduated to an obsessive achievement hunt which would THEN go on infiltrate my personal life via absolutely wreaking havoc on my sleep schedule, even hijacking my dreams.
And I couldn't be more thankful.
Quite honestly, I'm not sure where to take this review, I'll let my fingers glide along the keyboard and post whatever crops up.
At 89.1 hours, Hellsinker sits comfortably at my #5 most played game on Steam. Despite this, I've only gone on to engage with the game in its entirety through the lens of 1 character. The game features 4 characters, 1 of which has 4 "Ordinance Packages" which change up their loadout. Essentially, this 1 character is 4 though their endings remain the same between loadouts. This leaves me with a staggering 1/7 true completion. In addition to this, each character does have a unique ending depending on their TLB progression, not viewable within the game's text sequence viewer. Though I've already gone ahead and watched a video showing their contents (SPOILERS (DUH!)), I'd still love to play the game to experience them firsthand.
Alright, what more is there left for me do? Surely after that I would have completed EVERYTHING there is to this game... right?
WRONG! THERE'S SO MUCH! THERE'S QUITE FRANKLY TOO MUCH! AND I THINK THE FUNNIEST PART HAS TO BE HOW ABSOLUTELY UNINTENDED MOST OF THE EXTRA STUFF IS!
I'll start by introducing this game's older sibling, Radio Zonde. Yes, I have played the game before, but I haven't really completed in a manner I find acceptable, so there's still this entire game for me to play. Much of the ideas regarding design both graphics and gameplay are very much seen within Hellsinker. 1CC for Radio Zonde TBD.
Following this game would then come Hellsinker but in the form of a demo, kinda? Colloquially the build is known as Hellsinker 0.95. This build is quite.... special. There's a bajillion changes from this version of the game to the Doujin and Steam releases and although I'd like to talk about them all day I'll spare this "review" the word count and cut to the main thing. This game, although presenting itself as a demo, actually holds within itself the entire game but more importantly the final stage(SPOILERS(AGAIN(DUH!))) accessible through dropping in some files graciously provided by the original poster. In a non-patched version, only stages 1-4 are playable. The cut special stages also feature 2 versions from what I understand looking at the channel. One version would then go on to become the Shrine seen in the Doujin and Steam release. The other version cut from the final releases feature something adjacent to a dungeon crawler style level (not spoilers).
Okay so. That's it right? Nothing more? There couldn't possibly be more?
But there is! All of these are from the game's Doujin release era (so like 2007-2011?) I'll tally up everything here:
>Doujin release (PURCHASED)
>Completion of said Doujin release (unsure if I'll do all characters TLB but I'll cross that bridge when I get there)
>Buying the fanzines (warning the page probably has some Not Safe For Work Ads so please use an adblocker <3 ) and then reading said fanzines (currently studying Japanese primarily for that)
>A 3D Hellsinker Railshooter fangame (Completed)
>A Puyo Puyo styled Hellsinker puzzle game (Completed)
>Another Hellsinker fangame though I don't really know what to compare this one to, check the IGDB page for more info (Completed)
...and that's it. At that point, I'll have fully exhausted myself on every possible official and unofficial expression of love for this game. Have I made it obvious enough how much I love this game?
I'm currently in ownership of pretty much every version of the game out there with their fan-patches in addition to the fan-games so if you'd like any of that please contact my either on Twitter or Discord @strawhatcanti. Thank you for reading. Until the next "review" goes up,
Keep your dignity.
November 6th, 2023, marks the day I would begin my journey of playing Hellsinker. 5 months and a day to be exact. With interest spawning from a stray suggestion by a friend of mine, this would quickly result in an obsessive play-through which then graduated to an obsessive achievement hunt which would THEN go on infiltrate my personal life via absolutely wreaking havoc on my sleep schedule, even hijacking my dreams.
And I couldn't be more thankful.
Quite honestly, I'm not sure where to take this review, I'll let my fingers glide along the keyboard and post whatever crops up.
At 89.1 hours, Hellsinker sits comfortably at my #5 most played game on Steam. Despite this, I've only gone on to engage with the game in its entirety through the lens of 1 character. The game features 4 characters, 1 of which has 4 "Ordinance Packages" which change up their loadout. Essentially, this 1 character is 4 though their endings remain the same between loadouts. This leaves me with a staggering 1/7 true completion. In addition to this, each character does have a unique ending depending on their TLB progression, not viewable within the game's text sequence viewer. Though I've already gone ahead and watched a video showing their contents (SPOILERS (DUH!)), I'd still love to play the game to experience them firsthand.
Alright, what more is there left for me do? Surely after that I would have completed EVERYTHING there is to this game... right?
WRONG! THERE'S SO MUCH! THERE'S QUITE FRANKLY TOO MUCH! AND I THINK THE FUNNIEST PART HAS TO BE HOW ABSOLUTELY UNINTENDED MOST OF THE EXTRA STUFF IS!
I'll start by introducing this game's older sibling, Radio Zonde. Yes, I have played the game before, but I haven't really completed in a manner I find acceptable, so there's still this entire game for me to play. Much of the ideas regarding design both graphics and gameplay are very much seen within Hellsinker. 1CC for Radio Zonde TBD.
Following this game would then come Hellsinker but in the form of a demo, kinda? Colloquially the build is known as Hellsinker 0.95. This build is quite.... special. There's a bajillion changes from this version of the game to the Doujin and Steam releases and although I'd like to talk about them all day I'll spare this "review" the word count and cut to the main thing. This game, although presenting itself as a demo, actually holds within itself the entire game but more importantly the final stage(SPOILERS(AGAIN(DUH!))) accessible through dropping in some files graciously provided by the original poster. In a non-patched version, only stages 1-4 are playable. The cut special stages also feature 2 versions from what I understand looking at the channel. One version would then go on to become the Shrine seen in the Doujin and Steam release. The other version cut from the final releases feature something adjacent to a dungeon crawler style level (not spoilers).
Okay so. That's it right? Nothing more? There couldn't possibly be more?
But there is! All of these are from the game's Doujin release era (so like 2007-2011?) I'll tally up everything here:
>Doujin release (PURCHASED)
>Completion of said Doujin release (unsure if I'll do all characters TLB but I'll cross that bridge when I get there)
>Buying the fanzines (warning the page probably has some Not Safe For Work Ads so please use an adblocker <3 ) and then reading said fanzines (currently studying Japanese primarily for that)
>A 3D Hellsinker Railshooter fangame (Completed)
>A Puyo Puyo styled Hellsinker puzzle game (Completed)
>Another Hellsinker fangame though I don't really know what to compare this one to, check the IGDB page for more info (Completed)
...and that's it. At that point, I'll have fully exhausted myself on every possible official and unofficial expression of love for this game. Have I made it obvious enough how much I love this game?
I'm currently in ownership of pretty much every version of the game out there with their fan-patches in addition to the fan-games so if you'd like any of that please contact my either on Twitter or Discord @strawhatcanti. Thank you for reading. Until the next "review" goes up,
Keep your dignity.
Scarlet Nexus
2021
Vsf teve pico de luz na ultima cutscene
This review contains spoilers
mannnnnnnnnnnnnn idkkkkkkkk rlly......if my nigga jeff couldn't save the whole "faction war" genre of CRPGs the whole sub genre might be done & dusted 4 me. made me appreciate how geneforge 1 is rlly tightly woven around the very --idea-- of the geneforge and the resulting question of control/power. (not just control over others but also control over self & environment e.g. "the geneforge will let me write my own destiny!", which makes for the ultimate irony that gene rewriting turns you into 2010s Orlando Bloom instead of God). even though there's various factions and unofficial subfactions in GF1, it never loses sight of its main appeal of being a quasi-sci-fi in concerns & motifs with a flair for some usual fantasy dramatics of faction politicking and will they/won't they betrayals. it's not pen to pad great writing or some life-changing shit but as an unassuming piece of genre fiction its really captivating.
GF2 just feels way sloppier. there's a rough beginning stretch until you meet the barzites where the narrative feels extremely repetitious coming off the prequel--forgivable in the original release considering GF2 was released as an unplanned sequel, less so in the context of a remake. meeting the barzites & the takers things pick up, using some of the minor floating concepts from Sucia Island (drayks as forbidden creations, shapers on the island before/during/after the protag's visit, etc.) and building compelling factions out of them--had a big pointing out at the screen "AT-ST!!!!" moment when Syros from the last game shows up as the de-jure Taker leader. the servile mindbreak & subsequent warcrimes the takers inspired in GF1 also balloons out into this drama of --everybody-- breaking Shaper law, & jeff is smart enough to upend the pro-freedom view players likely developed last game. one nigga you meet early on is like "hmm yea i started hearing voices in my head like randy orton after using the canisters and idk what to do about it" & you ask him "hey man u alright? are there certain things that help the voices go away?" thinking its a sidequest opportunity but then he's like "no you don't understand. the voices literally never stop" & then he just walks away. that's the whole NPC interaction. then like not even an hour earlier you see a created beholder go rogue & wipe out a whole outpost by mental projecting a 24 hour j. cole mix & its like.....maybe the wizard fascists were kinda cooking dawg idk. shits so unserious out here. its genuinely really smart stuff that after the trial by fire players go through in GF1 the sequel baits & festers a reactionary mindset towards shaper laws being relaxed. hard not to just hit the meanest unc headshake of all time when you see a local farmhand accidentally summon a creation that literally feasts on niggas' souls & promptly lose control of it. & then the farmhand will have the damn nerve to ask you clean up their mess. SMH nephew......
BUT it all comes crashing down hard when you get to the main quests endgame. the most succinct way i can explain it is that the stretch of midgame to credits in GF1 is about either going into business for yourself, striking a deal with the opps, or just blowing the whole island up and leaving the shitshow entirely. the stretch of midgame to ending in GF2 is you spinning the block on the other factions until you find out that there's a trio of drakkons (the thing on the cover) running the whole island and you need to kill them/make them gods almost immediately. & its like, ok??? the decision to kingmake or not feels distinctly impersonal to the roleplaying that happens in the majority of the game, & not in a 'subversive' way either. like there's just no build. hour 20 you ask me what an 'Eass' is and I woulda guessed an eastern european slur, hour 21 Eass is actually behind the Takers & p.s. he has an almost completed geneforge & p.s. he has the gloves always on him so he can't be tricked & p.s. he's creating another drakkon that's even better than him & p.s. when it slipped out she put back in & p.s. he tapped it on her tongue. like dawg nobody knew who this nigga is why does he have this much motion. i wish i can say more but i cant really state how abrupt shit is, even when allying with Eass's faction in the Takers, you don't know of his existence till maybe 90 minutes before credits in a 25 hour experience. & let me clear this isn't really treated as a shock twist either or an ozymandias situation jeff writes in Eass and his goof troop with a straight pen. just feels like an elementary & dare i say 'omg rushed 🤓' design flaw from a guy who goes beyond that usually.
just wished it was more man. i will say this game did two things i've never seen before in a CRPG. the first is that you can end the game 10 minutes into it by simply walking out of the whole mountain. GF1 also let you dip out the game early, but not like immediately after the tutorial cause like who tf does that LMAO. i hope he keeps including early exits their mere existence adds a lot of funny 'nah fuck this' moments of roleplay even if they all result in the same bad ending.
the second is that i have never seen a game setup a 1v3 final boss only it to turn into a 1v1 because two members of the trio just run out the boss room. and show back up after the fight is over like nothing happened. this is not a glitch. will leave as an exercise to the reader to investigate further on that one but man. some people will really just slime out you for no reason at all.
GF2 just feels way sloppier. there's a rough beginning stretch until you meet the barzites where the narrative feels extremely repetitious coming off the prequel--forgivable in the original release considering GF2 was released as an unplanned sequel, less so in the context of a remake. meeting the barzites & the takers things pick up, using some of the minor floating concepts from Sucia Island (drayks as forbidden creations, shapers on the island before/during/after the protag's visit, etc.) and building compelling factions out of them--had a big pointing out at the screen "AT-ST!!!!" moment when Syros from the last game shows up as the de-jure Taker leader. the servile mindbreak & subsequent warcrimes the takers inspired in GF1 also balloons out into this drama of --everybody-- breaking Shaper law, & jeff is smart enough to upend the pro-freedom view players likely developed last game. one nigga you meet early on is like "hmm yea i started hearing voices in my head like randy orton after using the canisters and idk what to do about it" & you ask him "hey man u alright? are there certain things that help the voices go away?" thinking its a sidequest opportunity but then he's like "no you don't understand. the voices literally never stop" & then he just walks away. that's the whole NPC interaction. then like not even an hour earlier you see a created beholder go rogue & wipe out a whole outpost by mental projecting a 24 hour j. cole mix & its like.....maybe the wizard fascists were kinda cooking dawg idk. shits so unserious out here. its genuinely really smart stuff that after the trial by fire players go through in GF1 the sequel baits & festers a reactionary mindset towards shaper laws being relaxed. hard not to just hit the meanest unc headshake of all time when you see a local farmhand accidentally summon a creation that literally feasts on niggas' souls & promptly lose control of it. & then the farmhand will have the damn nerve to ask you clean up their mess. SMH nephew......
BUT it all comes crashing down hard when you get to the main quests endgame. the most succinct way i can explain it is that the stretch of midgame to credits in GF1 is about either going into business for yourself, striking a deal with the opps, or just blowing the whole island up and leaving the shitshow entirely. the stretch of midgame to ending in GF2 is you spinning the block on the other factions until you find out that there's a trio of drakkons (the thing on the cover) running the whole island and you need to kill them/make them gods almost immediately. & its like, ok??? the decision to kingmake or not feels distinctly impersonal to the roleplaying that happens in the majority of the game, & not in a 'subversive' way either. like there's just no build. hour 20 you ask me what an 'Eass' is and I woulda guessed an eastern european slur, hour 21 Eass is actually behind the Takers & p.s. he has an almost completed geneforge & p.s. he has the gloves always on him so he can't be tricked & p.s. he's creating another drakkon that's even better than him & p.s. when it slipped out she put back in & p.s. he tapped it on her tongue. like dawg nobody knew who this nigga is why does he have this much motion. i wish i can say more but i cant really state how abrupt shit is, even when allying with Eass's faction in the Takers, you don't know of his existence till maybe 90 minutes before credits in a 25 hour experience. & let me clear this isn't really treated as a shock twist either or an ozymandias situation jeff writes in Eass and his goof troop with a straight pen. just feels like an elementary & dare i say 'omg rushed 🤓' design flaw from a guy who goes beyond that usually.
just wished it was more man. i will say this game did two things i've never seen before in a CRPG. the first is that you can end the game 10 minutes into it by simply walking out of the whole mountain. GF1 also let you dip out the game early, but not like immediately after the tutorial cause like who tf does that LMAO. i hope he keeps including early exits their mere existence adds a lot of funny 'nah fuck this' moments of roleplay even if they all result in the same bad ending.
the second is that i have never seen a game setup a 1v3 final boss only it to turn into a 1v1 because two members of the trio just run out the boss room. and show back up after the fight is over like nothing happened. this is not a glitch. will leave as an exercise to the reader to investigate further on that one but man. some people will really just slime out you for no reason at all.
