590 Reviews liked by goatcanon


I always got banned as a kid whenever trying to join a game. Thanks keemstar

sonic origins developers take NOTES

This is an Ocarina of Time 3D style remake, where the core gameplay is almost exactly the same but the graphics and score have been updated along with minor changes to the UI and world (and the framerate being changed to 30fps, which was an upgrade in OoT but a downgrade here :V ). Of course, this means it's a great game since Thousand Year Door is an extremely pleasant game to play. I'll save the overall review of that for the original, so here I'll just talk about the changes.

UI changes are a bit mixed. For the good, the quick partner-swapping wheel is nice and the shortcuts from the original still work just as well. Additionally, swapping pages is done with the shoulder buttons instead of requiring you to scroll back up, which makes navigating the start menu easier too. Stylistically it's just as good as it's always been. Also, menus where you select items (cooking or handing things in for troubles) are updated so you don't have to pick things one at a time, which is great.
But for the bad...certain menus, especially in battle, feel weirdly "sticky". There are animations associated with scrolling and swapping pages, and you can't make a selection until those animations are done. So navigating in battle is a bit slower than before. (One habit from the original that is broken by this, you often can't select a move to avoid items thrown by the audience, because selecting takes too long). Also, audience items disrupt the flow a bit because the game pauses battle to point them out to you.

Balance-wise, most things are unchanged. However, because of the lower framerate, you have 1 extra frame for superguards and TWICE as many for guards. I don't really have a problem with this, though. Unfortunately this lack of changes means some badges which were more or less useless, like FP Drain or Tornado Jump, are still useless.

The soundtrack...it's probably nostalgia, but I largely prefer the original songs. The new versions feel busy, and the parts of the songs that I liked the most tend to be less prominent in the remixes. Fortunately, this doesn't count against the remake because there's a badge that swaps to the GC OST, similar to the GB sounds from Pokemon HGSS. It's practically free, available in the prologue, and is free to equip.

For overworld changes, there's a change to movement that I hate: the game is absolutely terrified of you having horizontal momentum while falling, and will kill it if you go below where you started from. This includes going down staircases, which are common throughout the game (especially in Hooktail Castle, an area you have to backtrack through multiple times). This makes going down these stairs feel really awkward and slow, especially with Yoshi.
HOWEVER, it's not all bad, as there are some changes to fast-travel pipes which make the large amount of backtracking in the game significantly more tolerable. There's pipes to the towns of every chapters, rather than just 1, 2, 5, and 6, and you can access these pipes straight from Rogueport Square. This makes it a lot more tolerable to do troubles which require you to travel between chapters. There's also a pipe from Twilight Town to Creepy Steeple you can unlock with Vivian, which cuts out the most tedious part of Chapter 4.

The game acknowledges completion of the recipe book, tattle log, and badge list, which is nice. Two new bonus fights were added to the game, and they're very awesome to see as a fan of both the original Paper Mario 64 and Thousand Year Door.

The game still isn't flawless, but it's just as fun as the original if not more. I hope this is a sign that more great Mario RPGs are coming in the future.

I, EvaX, humbly submit a toast to Nicholas Alexander for successfully managing to pirate Warcraft III, so that he may play Defense of The Ancients. Congratulations, Nick. Enjoy your DOTA. (Pffzt) Ahhhh.

Looking up what happened to this game after you found it interesting back in 2015 is like asking someone why a restaurant you enjoyed closed down and the said person telling you that restaurant was actually a front for the mafia

...I AM A ROCKSTAR!
Oh man, this is gonna be a tough review. There's so much I love about this game, so much it might be a new favorite of mine. Okay let's get into it...

Our game opens with the protag, Chai, jamming out to The Black Keys and waiting in line to get into Project Armstrong, an effort by Vandelay Technologies to give robotic prosthetics to those needing of them. One surgery later, and he's got a new arm... and a MP3 player in his chest? AND KILLER ROBOTS AFTER HIM?? Seems something went awry! However, it's not all bad, as said MP3 player has integrated itself into his new robot arm and is giving him strange musical superpowers. Not wanting to get killed by robots, he heads out to look for an exit.

This leads me into the gameplay and oh my god it's so good. I suck at rhythm games and I suck at most hack n' slashes, but put em together and you have a match that could rival peanut butter and chocolate. It's hard to describe, the feeling of landing combos, the shouts of "HEY! HEY! CHAI! HEY!" as you turn robots into scrap metal, it all...rocks!! Although there are a few things that annoy me, mostly enemies with shields. Enemies with shields require you to summon your friends, Peppermint and Macaron to break them for you (oh and Macaron can be especially annoying since his shield take two attacks to break and his attack takes the longest to recharge). Oh, and speaking of characters...

The characters are one part of Hi-Fi Rush that didn't grab me at first. Chai and our deuteragonist, Peppermint, start rather annoying. One an annoying dumbass, the other an annoying smartass. It's not until we meet Macaron and his robot buddy CNMN (pronounced cinnamon) that things get good. Chai and Peppermint go through some development, 808 is adorable, Macaron is a big lovable teddy bear, and CNMN is deadpan in all the right ways while still having a lot of heartwarming moments. The heads of Vandelay are a lot of fun too. Rekka is pro-wrestler turned boss with anger issues, Zanzo is a massive JoJo reference that you beat by draining him of all his budget, Korsica is probably taken the most serious by the game, Mimosa is and egocentric diva with a fantastic boss fight, Roquefort is a no-nonsense grumpy old man with an even BETTER boss fight, and Kale is the big bad, evil as hell, multimillionaire who you really want to punch in the face. All and all, the cast is amazing and fit the games tone to a T. I would get into the story, but most of the actually reveals are character based and spoilery, most of the actual story is just "Corpation plans to use robot limbs to mind control people, go stop em" and to be honest, that's all I need for a game like this.

OH SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT THE SOUNDTRACK! HOW DID I FORGET!? Uh...the soundtrack is really good! I tend to have a hard time talking about music other than "it's good!" or "it fits the tone!" and Hi-Fi Rush's music does both of those, but something about it just feels GOOD. The original tracks are amazingly made and the licensed tracks fit the mood perfectly. A part near the end set to Whirring by The Joy Formidable almost made me cry while I was playing.

So, that's Hi-Fi Rush, a game that is now one of my most favorites. I could gush about it for a few paragraphs but I feel like I'd either end up spoiling the game or repeating myself. I love this game with every fiber of being and I'm so glad I got to play it. How sadly ironic that Tango Gameworks fell to very villain of this game. Fuck you microsoft.

Really special game, brimming with charm and humor. Knew I would love it to begin with but I was really surprised with just how lovely of a time it was.

Instant fun: harass the townsfolk and launch milk bottles at them

I was part of a focus group for the GameCube version of Super Paper Mario. The game was so bad that every other person who played it died painfully, causing Nintendo to delay the game and move it to the Wii so that the necessary fixes could be made. I am the sole survivor of the GameCube Super Paper Mario Massacre.

i wish more people played this now that the translation patch has been out for a WHILE

The half frame rate is noticible and I won't lie: it doesn't feel as snappy as hell because of it. Dialogue speed isn't an issue since I can be a real slow reader at the times, but for fast reader it can be slightly tedious.

Beside that: this is a mr. remake alright in every way you can see it and hear it: graphics and soundtracks are completely new for the occasion, don't listen to those idiots that treat this like it's a 60 dollars cash-grab low-effort remaster, because that's bullshit.

For most of my Star Fox Adventures playthrough I didn’t feel like reviewing it. I definitively look upon it more fondly than most, but even then, I didn’t think I would have much to add to the discourse.

The starting hours of Star Fox Adventures were a blast, with very few hick-ups. I really enjoyed the gameplay-loop of finding a Gatekeeper making it able for me to get to a dungeon, finding a SpellStone which makes me able to find a Krazoa Spirit and then finding a SpellStone and so on.
Gameplaywise Star Fox Adventures brought with it an eerie feeling of familiarity.

Now I’ve never been interested in the mainline games, as I’m not big into on-rail- or any kind of shooter, so this feeling took me a while to understand, but after thinking about it for a while Star Fox Adventures really felt like a proto-Kameo, which makes more and more sense the longer I think about it.

You visit pretty much the same settings in both games, the combat system can feel similar at points (though not as fleshed out here) and these are only a few of the similarities between both games, which makes sense as it’s mostly the same people working on them.

Now unfortunately this game really takes a dive in the final stretch and starts decreasing in quality around the half-way point, which is around when you have seen all Dinosaur Planet has to offer and must start backtracking. They probably had to rush the game out, considering it came out a day before Microsoft announced its acquisition of Rare and it shows.

You will have to revisit old dungeons, which repeat their previous puzzles, but a little harder, one of the Gatekeepers is just a random guy and it all accumulates (slight naming spoiler for this 21-year-old game) Dragon Rock.

Dragon Rock is the worst thing any game has ever made me suffer through and this isn’t meant as some kind of metaphor, no! It is the worst part of any game I’ve ever had the displeasure of going through and me beating it should only show you how much I liked the rest of the game before it. I should probably say that at least some of my criticism of this part of the game is partly made worse by my controller being a bit overresponsive and having a few blind spots, both of which only becoming a problem when I had to do more precise movements.
Dragon Rock doesn’t start of all to bad. You had to shoot at some turrets using the Fire Blaster, which might be the wort controlling thing conceivable, but it isn’t too bad.
After a bit you get told to save a HIghTop and this is where it all falls apart and I started to embark on a journey. This funny little guy is trapped by four fire-blaster-targets, two in the back, two more to the front, symmetrical to the HighTop in the middle. It is your task to shoot all of these 4 points within around 10 seconds. When I got to this part of the game my in-game timer showed ~15 hours.
This task doesn’t sound too bad after all, but let’s talk a bit more about the Fire Blaster.
First of the Y-Axis is inverted, which at least for me didn’t mesh well with quick thinking, the controls are already overresponsive, which only got worse with my controller, the targets are far away enough to make it really hard to exactly line up your shots and if you miss the HighTop will start stomping and shake the screen, making you miss more and making him stomp more. He is also a big moving hitbox, sometimes blocking the targets.
Now the worst aspects of the Fire Blaster. When you stop moving the cursor it will snap back to the middle of the screen and when you want to turn forget it. Fox will accelerate in a way I don’t yet fully understand and then snaps back to some position like 3 screens away. The only way to kind of understand where your camera ends up is to look at the map, which has its own problems.

I tried for around 1 hour, when I got there on April 30th, to do it the intended way, but had to give up and started to investigate if I were the only person with troubles here and unsurprisingly, I wasn’t. Look at any comment-section of this part of the game and you will find complaints.
Not too long after I found positions on both the right and the left, where I can hit two targets by only looking further up. The one on the left is more finnicky as the target on the back-left is more towards the middle than its right counterpart.
I tried it using this knowledge for 2 more hours and went to bed after, thinking about giving up, or spending a lot of money to buy a more or less new first party controller, which was when I had an idea.
Why didn’t I try creating consistent set ups using visual cues to hit the targets, so I would only have to turn to said point, aim up and shoot.
On the next day I found out, that the soot-detailing could be used for such a set-up and the ledge get-up can be used to always shoot from the same position.
Using my amateur picture-editing skills I created my first consistent set up tutorial. After printing it out I noticed that I forgot one crucial point, the turning. As I said I was kind of able to look at the map, but this wasn’t by any means optimal. This set-up was also way to slow. This whole process took me another 3 hours.
Then I had another idea, the position on the right. I had written it off, as I couldn’t make it possible to always stand on the same position, but then I had another idea after looking at my stack of transparent paper. I think you know where this is going.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t ever able to draw out a 1:1 copy of the map, and I now could only use it to know where I had to shoot to hit the other two targets, but it was better than nothing. I tried this method for around 2 and a half hours, it was still to slow and hell to set up after using all your energy and having to run out of the building to replenish.

After 5 and a half hours of trying and failing miserably at what should be an easy task I reconsidered quitting and thought to myself that I might as well go for the whole 6 hour mark. My next strategy was to do it the intended way, but to shoot from the position I tried before, rather than the middle and to my own surprise I got it, not very confidently, but still. I think I just missed the 6-hour mark. But it wasn’t over yet, because what followed was a 3-minute long auto-scroller, which if you fail it you must free the HighTop again.
I luckily did it first try and saved a dozen times.

Dragon Rock doesn’t get much better after. Luckily I found out, through watching the speedrun of the game, to see if you could skip the part somehow, that you can skip a lot of the next by lining up Fox with a line on the wall, looking a bit to the left and throwing the barrel through the wall.
What follows is another (uncapped) auto-scroller and what many say is the actual hardest part of the game, even without a non-assuming third party Wave-Bird-Controller making you struggle even more.
This time I bit the bullet and got myself a controller with turbo-functionality as my fingers started to hurt after not too long.

This is Dragon Rock. I only completed it to finish a game I had thoroughly enjoyed before it and was it worth it? Unfortunately, I don’t think so. The only thing you might be missing is the best Krazoa-Spirit task after the most lackluster Krazoa-shrine.
I should also mention that my game crashed at the final boss, setting me back half an hour, as the game apparently ceased to auto-safe after big, ingame events.

A lot of people have already talked a lot about the let’s say “interesting” final confrontation with General Scales. I personally think it would’ve helped a lot as now the last two boss fights are on-rail shooters which is a really undercooked mechanic, which is only there to remind you that you are playing STARFOX Adventures.

At the end of the day, I still enjoyed most of Star Fox Adventures, but I will never replay it completely. The TV my Gamecube is hooked up on will now forever tell the tale of Dragon Rock with its glue residue.
Play it on an emulator with some kind of Fire Blaster fix, if that exists.

Special-Operations FOX-HOUND 🔫🔁🔫🔃🔀🔁🔫🔁🔃🔀🔫↪️🔫🔁🔀🔃🔫↪️🔁🔫🔃🔃🔀🔄 Revolver 🔫↪️🔄🔁🔫🔃🔀🔫↪️🔀🔀🔄🔀 Ocelot 🔫🔃🔄🔁↪️🔃🔫🔁↪️↪️🔫🔁🔁↪️ I've been waiting for you, Solid Snake 🔫🔃🔃🔃🔫🔁↪️🔃🔄🔫🔀🔁↪️🔃🔃 Now we'll see if the man can live up to the legend 🔫🔀🔁🔀

Ocelot clutching his little bullet necklace as he watches Snake get tortured...... what good friends they are

friends got me into this game and i have vague memories of the original but this is a great passion project that does so much with toontown in terms of battle mechanics that it is actually fun for me to play. not to mention the new cog models and animations adds to the charm of this game overall.