I had no sword at all for two and a half hours.

I eventually found Biggoron's Sword on sale for 15 Rupees in the Goron City shop as Adult Link. However, as an incredibly frustrated young Alex learned in 1999, you cannot defeat Ganon in Ocarina of Time with the Biggoron Sword. In order to finish the game, the final blow must come from the Master Sword.

During my first playthrough of this (or any) randomizer, the Master Sword was the very last item that I found. This is what it took for me to find it:

• Both the Master Sword and the Kokiri Sword were in the Fire Temple in optional chests, with the Master Sword's chest requiring the Scarecrow Song to reach it. But I couldn't get to either of those without access to the Megaton Hammer, as the room to the left of the Temple entrance where you encounter Darunia had no keys in it. (The key to the door on the right side of the entry hall turned out to be in the Boss Key chest)

• The Hammer was in the Gerudo Training Grounds, where I was gated by my lack of Hover Boots.

• The Hover Boots were in Jabu-Jabu's belly in place of the Zora's Sapphire, and I couldn't complete that section without the Boomerang.

• The Boomerang was in the Castle Town moat in place of the Ocarina of Time, but I needed the 3 Spiritual Stones before Zelda would chuck it in there.

• The Kokiri Emerald was in one of the Gibdo coffins in the Bottom of the Well, so I needed the Lens of Truth to discover that.

• And the Lens of Truth was sold by a Business Scrub in Dodongo's Cavern. I got a good deal though, it was only 10 rupees!

Obviously, I had no idea where the Master Sword would be, so this wasn't a plan or a list of instructions I followed, it's just how things shook out. And I had a great time! I used Ship of Harkinian's randomizer, and there are some fantastic options that made the constant back-and-forth scouring of Hyrule more feasible. The most useful ones were unbreakable Deku Sticks (absolutely critical since I didn't find a sword for a while), changing Link's age with the Song of Time, Bunny Hood increasing speed like in Majora's Mask, and ageless items (allowing Young Link to use the Hookshot, for example). I was incredibly impressed with Ship of Harkinian as a whole, and will definitely put more playthroughs into that, randomized or not.

Halo 3 is like a thrilling action movie that is constantly in its climax. Once the campaign begins it doesn’t hold back. Lulls in the action are minimal, set pieces are plenty, and the action is constant. You would think this would get old after a while, but Halo 3 does not overstay its welcome. Clocking in at an average of 8 hours the time flies by. The story is admittedly pretty lackluster especially in comparison to Halo 2. Instead of setting up characters like the Arbiter, fleshing out the motivations of the Covenant, and establishing the lore of the Forerunners and Flood, Halo 3 opts to stick to its guns--literally. We just blast our way from one set piece to the next leaving any desire for lore or character development to take a backseat. Mechanically, it plays a lot like Halo 2 but improved. The new brute weapons, addition of the badass Spartan Laser, and the new equipment feature add to the already break-neck pace of firefights. The new vehicles were a blast to ride around in as well, especially my new personal favorite the brute Chopper. In the end, Halo 3 is a thrill-ride that leans into fast-paced action but sacrifices depth and greater narrative. It is a blast to play but lacks that extra push that could take it over the top and complete the package.

I grew up with Banjo-Kazooie. For some reason, I had a problem with Tooie because it seemed too different from its predecessor. I called BK my favorite game from 1999 to 2014. Then I finally decided to play Tooie, and I 100%-ed it.

It was incredible.

Everything BK can do, Tooie can do better. The only issue is the framerate, as Tooie (like other Rare games) pushed the 64 to its limits, and that leads to some performance issues. But if you play Banjo-Tooie on Xbox, it plays like a dream.

Play this game!!

Trivia Time!

The real reason we greenlit this game was that we just thought it was funny to have Treasure develop a game all about treasure

Stay tuned for more Trivia Time segments in the near future!

YES.

Somebody once thought, "What if we made a Wild West outlaw game, but you fly an airplane the whole time" and it turned out incredible. However, unsatisfied, they then proceeded to wonder, "What if it became a Chicago mafia game, but you fly an airplane the whole time", and it was just as good. But with more yet to give unto the world, they looked the original Xbox right in its single green eye and posed the ultimate question: "What if it ends up being an Indiana Jones game... but you fly an airplane the whole time??"

I truly do not believe that games need to look any better than Crimson Skies. This is peak sixth-generation aesthetic, and it looks phenomenal upresed on Series X. There's so much style and charm on display here, with a delightfully pulpy performance from Timothy Omundson (!!!GALAVANT REFERENCE!!!) in the lead role. But more than anything, this is the most engaging air combat I've ever experienced, with its dogfights' tension regularly making me clench up and lean into turns while sitting on my couch like the guy in the N64 Tilt Pak ad. The final segment of the penultimate level in particular is one of the most intense, nail-biting sequences in any game I've ever played. I loved all of it!

Now lastly, we have to acknowledge the loss of a reviewing giant. Recently @Elkmane announced his retirement. As a lifelong Elkster, I knew this day was coming, but thought we had more time. While it's not the name he used here, I knew him as Big John. It just so happens that Crimson Skies features an ally character of the same name, and in the final level, King Richard kept shouting his name. I became fond of this game's Big John, but I'll miss the real one far more. So long, pal.

Elksters for life.

The game begins by dropping your car at the top of an active volcano. I obviously tried to drive the car straight into the lava, but the game FADES TO BLACK BEFORE YOU REACH THE HOT MOLTEN GOODNESS. What is the point of all the realistic graphics if I can't even melt my car???

A little while later, while driving through a cloud of kicked up dust, the commentator shouted "WOOOO RIGHT INTO THE EYE OF THE STORM!!" Gamers, I furrowed my brow so hard at him. It was a dust cloud! There is no eye! The eye is the calm area in the middle of a tornado or something, a phenomenon in which the center of the destructive force is the safest place to be! That doesn't apply to the current situation at all!

I generally try not to be a Surly Nitpicky Gamer Boy™, but a lot of big budget AAA games really do bring it out of me. I get it, it's very pretty and the cars go fast. But I finally tried Ridge Racer Type 4 a few months ago, and the cars in that 26-year-old game not only felt better to drive, but it had an actual visual identity that was beyond cool. This is just boring!

Rebirth and Remake are opposites in many ways. Remake was a linear, narrative-focused game with cramped and narrow environments tunneling you toward specific objectives and story beats. Rebirth is an open, content-packed game with expansive areas that allow for endless hours of exploration. Many players are going to struggle to adjust to this new style of game especially if they expect a similar experience from Rebirth as they had with Remake. I too had to adjust to this new style. Remake created such a compelling gameplay loop that felt tight and rich in plot beats. Very rarely did you spend much time away from the main plot save for a few mediocre side activities or the occasional boss battle with one of Chadley’s many simulations. Rebirth on the other hand presents you with so many side activities that it can be a shock to the system. I did not fully adjust to the flow of Rebirth until I had already completely cleared the first major area. Once I did adjust, once it all became second-nature and I fully embraced what Rebirth had to offer, I found a game that, after 90 hours, all I wanted to do was play it all over again.

Rebirth tackles its open-world in a way that I was not sure about at first. It is very much a check-list style with massive open zones that have points of interest scattered around for you to go to and complete. It is most compared to a Ubisoft-style open-world and I believe that comparison is mostly apt here. In recent years I have shifted to preferring the open-world styles of a Breath of the Wild or an Elden Ring. Big open worlds with minimal markers. Games where you just get placed in a beautiful world and can go anywhere at any time and discover things without knowing what is coming up next. The adjustment from those kinds of open-worlds to this was certainly an obstacle, but it was one I broke through. By the time I began exploring and completing objectives in the second major open-area, it was all really beginning to click.

The actual actions you’re taking in the open-world can range from a simple 10 second button-press QTE to battles with special mini-boss fiends. This is to say that some are definitely more involved than others and not all objectives are made the same. However, they all serve the purpose of fleshing the world out and serving as an excuse to engage and explore these beautiful landscapes. Each open area also has a hub-town that you can explore, rest, gather items, equipment, and side quests to complete. The side quests are really where the game’s side content is at its best. These side quests can have varied purposes from deepening the lore of the world, giving more characterization to your companions, or even as a long joke. All are well-worth doing even for players who are not vibing with the open-world aspect of the game. They add so much flavor and depth that would otherwise be missed out on.

The activities just mentioned already would be enough to make Rebirth a much more expansive game than Remake. However, Rebirth decides it is not done yet as they introduce the player to literally dozens of mini-games to complete throughout your journey. Some are required for minor moments, others are tied to specific side quests, but most are completely optional. This will be the aspect that divides the playerbase the most. Players looking for that tight, streamlined, focused experience of Remake will likely not find much to love about the mini-games packed into Rebirth. Those who buy-into the world and enjoy engaging with a wide variety of content even if it deviates from the core gameplay will find a treasure trove of things to do. Admittedly, the mini-games can vary in quality. Some are fully fleshed out experiences all to themselves such as the in-universe card game Queen’s Blood. Most are fairly good to just OK. I only found a handful that I actively disliked which is impressive given the sheer size and quantity that are present.

A big problem some players will end up facing if they find themselves feeling negative about the mini-games will stem, at least in part, from the fact that the combat of Rebirth is so engaging. Remake was a game that already had on of my top 3 favorite combat systems of all time. Rebirth took that system and just expanded on it and easily surpassed the original. Every character is unique, serves a specific niche, has similar levels of complexity, and are a blast to learn and play. With this many characters to play as--6 in total for your main party--it can be easy for some to get lost in the shuffle as you tunnel into one party set up that you find comfortable. Rebirth solves this by having multiple story moments when the party composition shifts and changes as characters temporarily leave the party, go on a little mini-adventure, or whatever other narrative reason they have for shifting party composition. This can easily feel forced and frustrating but Rebirth makes it feel very natural. Never once did my party composition change and I was unsatisfied or outright annoyed by it.

The story is going to be one of the biggest draws to this game. Remake created a world, characters, and narrative that compelled old and new fans alike while throwing some major curve-balls at the end that confused and divided players. Rebirth maintains this trajectory for most of the game. The main story drip-feeds information slowly, creating two or three questions for every answer it might provide. In-between these moments of intrigue are emotional character moments, hilarious misadventures, and thrilling conflicts. The quality of the main story is every bit as compelling, excellently written, and engaging as Remake, if not moreso.

The adventure is certainly a lot wackier than Remake though. Remake had its moments of fun and games but generally maintained that dreary atmosphere of Midgar. Rebirth cranks the goof to another level. Despite how absurd some of the situations are that our characters find themselves in, it still maintains a level of writing quality that never veers too far into the cheesy quality you might associate with something like Kingdom Hearts (this is no shade to Kingdom Hearts either, it’s literally my favorite game series ever). This may turn off players who prefer a more serious, darker atmosphere. I found it incredibly endearing and made me fall deeper in love with this cast of misfit characters even more-so than I had before.
If Remake was controversial for its perplexing ending, then Rebirth will be even moreso. They do not shy away from the ideas they proposed in Remake, instead they double down. They attempt to create a thought-provoking ending that doesn’t give all of the answers. After all, there is an entire third game still to come. Most will be bewildered by it and that is to be expected. If endings that you have to sit with, digest, really dig into and theorize about are your style, then Rebirth will provide. If you prefer a story with a more definitive ending then Rebirth’s ending may not sit well with you. Either way, even during bouts of shock, confusion, and a million neurons firing in all directions in my brain as different revelations flashed before my eyes, the emotional resonance that the ending of this game attempts to give still came through, and it came through hard. Rebirth does not pull punches when it tries to deliver emotional moments and all of them hit like freight trains.

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth is a lot. It’s a content-rich adventure that tries to simultaneously honor the original title from the late-90s, re-create the magic of its immediate predecessor, and become its own thing entirely. Which combination of things you do or don’t think work out will vary wildly based on your expectations, taste, and willingness to buy-in to all that Rebirth attempts to do.

I bought in, I embraced fully each aspect that Rebirth tried to accomplish. What I got in return was one of the best gaming experiences of my lifetime. What I got was a game that, despite its girth, will be a part of my library to return to forever. I received a magical experience that cascaded me with emotions that I had not felt since 2005 when I played Kingdom Hearts II for the first time. Little did I know it would become my all-time favorite game ever. Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth is not Kingdom Hearts II, but it is the first game I have played since that game to give me a similar type of feeling while playing. Awe, excitement, thrill, joy, sadness, despair, bewilderment, intrigue, exhilaration, all of these emotions and more combine to create two distinct experiences that will stick with me forever. Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth reignited a feeling in me that I did not think would resurface again. It easily has become one of my favorite games of all-time.

Stunning art - world, rich and clever;
Renaissance mice and voles and more.
Charm recalls classics I adore,
90s Sam & Max, however
the dialogue became a chore.
The worldbuilding became ignored,
memes cheapen what was once clever;
my expectations were severed.

Pretty great game, I like the hand holding physics (take notes dead rising) and the animations. The music was nice too. Give it a try.
…
April fools! What did you really think I, the great one and only elkmane would have just one sentence as my final review before my retirement? No. I’m gonna give a nice good long review.

Ico is a really nice game. It's a video game stripped down to its bare essentials and then stripped down even more. Theres no health bar or weapon switching or hud or prompts or any tutorial of any kind. Which is pretty cool and can lead to moments of discovery in puzzles which are really fun, like when i found out i could swing on chains or something. The puzzles in this game are so simple but can be so much fun. They often span a whole room or multiple, and mix cool platforming in and it always left me wanting to play more.

I did something new while playing this game. You see, the PS3 doesn't have a headphone jack on its controller, and I live in a house with other people who can't rly be quiet. Why don't i get a house for myself? because I live in ontario! FUCK YOU DOUG FORD! FUCK YOU WITH THE FREEST OF SPEECH THIS DIVIDED STATES OF EMBARRASSMENT WILL ALLOW ME TO HAVE! FUCK YOU AND THIS DEMOCRACY OF HYPOCRISY! Anyways, I decided every morning I was free to get up super early in the morning like 5 or 5:30 to play Ico. It was usually dark when I started but the sun rose through my window on the side and it was completely silent aside from the birds chirping both ingame and irl and it was a fun experience. Don't worry about me tho, i'm used to waking up at 5 to commute to uni. THANKS AGAIN DOUG FORD... FUCKING IDIOT. Anyways, the 5am complete silence helped me think a lot about what feelings this game was trying to give me. And I do feel it. It hit me when I, Ico, was trying to solve this puzzle by climbing up on this structure. Yorda was looking off into the ocean and occasionally glancing back at me to see how I was doing (yorda is the girl u escort around.) And I think I understood. This game is trying to recapture the greatest years of our lives, that being grade 3. And maybe 4 if you were lucky and privileged. Because there's such peace in meeting someone within 3 years of your age at a playground and not knowing how to speak the same language but still playing together. Hey let me show you something cool on top of this tree. You wait down there. I don't know, it was really evocative of that time for me. Like the time I was at the park at 9pm and met some guy from my class I never spoke to and we talked about owls while sitting on a tree and he told me owls are spies for demons and I believed him. This has nothing to do with the game, i'm rambling... sorry.. in my old age i've gotten sentimental for the happier days back before doug ford was premier. Maybe its good im retiring after this. im losing my marbles. Let me get back on track. Basically, this game is like meeting a new friend and helping her escape from her evil mom who wants her to stay inside and practice piano or multiplication tables.

the environments were all also great. If you liked undead parish/burg this is that but for like the whole game. Gorgeous visuals and the camera placements make this a very unique looking game. No prop or interactable item has any kind of glow or yellow paint marking that its usable or anything like that. Boxes are boxes, chains are chains, ropes are ropes, ladders are ladders, it has no regard for readability except for the fact that there is so little detail in the environment (which adds to its isolating abandoned castle atmosphere) that it really doesn't feel like a hassle or like there was something that shouldve been interactable. It's cool. The camera placement also highlights where you should go. Stepping onto a ledge brings the bottom tip of a chain into your view, prompting you to move the camera and investigate the room further. Now i'm gonna talk about the combat.

The combat is okay I guess, it's interesting and a fun idea to have the playable character be under no threat at all and have yords (me and yorda are on nickname basis) be the target. Theyll try and knock you away, but theyre going for her. Like ashley in re4 kind of. But it's more like ashley in re4 remake. The problem is theyre kind of slippery and can fly- and you have no air attacks. So, lets say I attack and they fly up. I repeat this like 20 minutes. But- if they grab yords then they stay still for a few seconds which lets you hit them as much as you like til they die. It's like re4 remake because ashley gets kidnapped 10x more in that game than she does in re4, and once she IS kidnapped then the ganado or whatever holding her is open to a stealth attack which is a one hit KO. So in that game, I didn't really mind her getting taken five times a fight because it was kind of beneficial to me. Double edged sword though. On one hand, its a way for your sidekick to be useful in their uselessness, but on the other hand it makes the times they DO get taken way less stressful. Honestly I think I would've preferred if they were just less slippery and didn't fly all the time.

I think thats pretty much all i have to say. The review is over now, so newcomers please feel free to drop your like and be on your way. My following message is for my loyal elksters regarding my retirement from backloggd.

Hey buddies. How's everyone doing? okay? i hope so. I know I'm addressing a crowd of hundreds, but honestly you're all my sons and daughters and children to me. All of you are appreciated by me equally. But I have to go now. Why? well, it's because I had a dream. What was my dream? well, I'll tell you now. I had put my copy of breath of the wild on sale in kijiji. What's kijiji? oh kiddo its like canadian craigslist. I wanted to sell my copy of breath of the wild or trade it for a copy of bayonetta 2. I did this in real life, so its interesting that it carried over in my dream. Anyways, I recieved a message (in my dream) saying they would trade me a copy of starbound for botw. I said no, considering starbound is worth like 15 dollars and I was selling botw for 45. The guy didn't like that. Not one bit. He took to backloggd and he posted something. He somehow managed to find every bad thing I've said on the internet, every weird search i've ever made, every guy i've yelled at on rainbow 6 voice chat. My elksters know I have a dark past. The comments were my beloved elksters; all of them felt so betrayed. Comments like "i cant believe elkmane would do this to us." "i can't support him anymore" "he was my idol." I tried to go back and give him my game, hoping for him to take it down but he didn't budge. It was over. My fans hated me. And that dream made it known to me that i can't be elkmane anymore. It's too much. This role isn't something i can mentally handle. The past 6 presidents of the united states have all gone on record as to saying that their job is 2nd hardest in the world right before being elkmane. And they're right. It is tough. So i've decided to hang up my elk hat and retire. And I know some shit's so hard to swallow, but I just can't sit back and wallow in my own sorrow but I know one fact: I'll be one tough act to follow. One tough act to follow. I'll be one tough act to follow. Here today, gone tomorrow - M.M

Here is my goodbye song!

wait, no. sorry. wrong one.

THIS is my goodbye song.

It's customary, when reviewing an old game of sentimental value, to do a little literary hop back in time as a means to convey the circumstances in which you played it.

I'm going to do that too... Sort of.

Truth is, my actual relationship with Ultimate Carnage when it released was it being overshadowed by a whole bunch of better games on Christmas Day, 2007. Yes, I am a mega gearhead, always have been, but this game was at the LITERAL bottom of the pile with Crackdown, Halo 3, Eternal Sonata, Crash of the Titans (which sucked) and Gears of War.
I put the disc in for 15 minutes, said "wow cool graphics!" to my dad, and immediately put Halo 3 in. He knew I'd do that. I knew I'd do that. We all knew I'd do that. It was the entire reason I wanted a 360.

Part of this is simply because Ultimate Carnage was, at the time, utterly unremarkable. It was a racing game with tight, weighty steering and a soundtrack that was 99% rock and metal with like two post-hardcore tracks. It and like... Every other racing game not named Burnout back then.

Recently, this game was freed from DRM-hell, so I figured I'd give it a shot, and it's funny how this game suddenly is remarkable nowadays.

NFS' failure and Forza's dominance unfortunately led to a degree of homogeny in driving games, where they all tried to straddle a line between arcadey and weighty. It worked for Forza and modern NFS, but for other games it became a burden more than a boon.

UC, by way of being an older game, manages to somehow be fairly fresh.

UC's driving is particularly weighty, with even the faster cars having a bit of heft to them especially on the drift. The purpose of this weight is to facilitate late Burnout style car clashes.
Races become a game of both smashing your opponents off the road and crashing through terrain to make your own shortcuts, and unlike many 00s driving games the upgrade system does NOT allow you have your cake and eat it too. You can go fast or you can go hard, but you have to pick one or you'll have a master-of-none car.
Going fast means you need to be good at both avoiding other racers and keeping the car steady on bumpy terrain, while going hard allows you to acquire boost by bashing other racers to death at the cost of potentially failing to catch up if you're not aggressive enough.

And... That's it. No, really.

UC's appeal to you as a 2024 videogamer is that it's a solid racing game with great physics and a fucking amazing alt rock soundtrack - though I wish it had more of the great hiphop tracks that defined 00s racing games. The courses are solid, race length is perfect, it's the ideal middle ground between Burnout Paradise, Forza Horizon and 2010s NFS, and it looks pretty for the time.

Is it exceptional? No. But when it's this good, does it have to be?

I don't think so.

Star Fox walked so Star Fox 64 could run. ...or it might be more apt to say that Star Fox flew so Star Fox 64 could fly at a playable FPS. While this reboot is obviously technically superior to the original, it's a whole host of other details that make this the definitive Star Fox experience; for one, the addition of the charged shot and aiming reticle make the simple act of flying around and shooting things feel much better and less random. The addition of Saturday morning cartoon style voice acting - with just the right mix of scenery-chewing and earnest emotion - adds enough personality to both your wingmen and your enemies to ease you into the role of Fox.

However, it's one change in particular that elevates Star Fox 64 from 'excellently-done game' to 'one of my favorites'. The game's structure is far more organic than the original - rather than a preset 'easy' 'medium' and 'hard' path through the game, SF64 dynamically moves you between the various paths depending on how you do in each mission, creating a multitude of possible routes to the final stage (which itself has two variations). This variable difficulty keeps the player on their toes and rewards aggressive play with progression to the more interesting and higher-dopamine missions of the 'medium' and 'hard' routes, making Star Fox 64 a greatly-replayable score-attack game. If you manage to get to the 'harder' variation of the final sequence, hearing the increasingly-panicked enemy radio chatter as you punch through their final lines of defense makes you feel like an absolute badass, and you know what? You earned it.

Speaking of the missions, they all carry enough of a unique twist to keep the rail-shooter formula from getting stale - from an Independence-Day style level where you need to shoot down a mothership to protect a base, to a mission over a molten planet where the heat continuously drains your shields and the only way to stay alive is to destroy background objects for health pickups, to intense free-flying dogfights, to (shockingly well-done!) land and sea levels in alternate vehicles, there is so much imagination that went into these.

I'm aware that the fanbase is pretty split on the music - quite a few players prefer the soundtrack of the original Star Fox for being more eclectic and unique, but you know what? Koji Kondo's soundtrack is more 'standard' but I love it more, the same way I prefer all of Alan Menken's Disney soundtracks to any of the modern stuff. It just stirs my heartstrings and makes me want to go out there and do stuff.

To sum up: great game, absolutely essential playing as a representative of both the N64 library and of rail shooters in general. Highly recommend!