Ranking the Dateability of Capcom's Floppy-Haired Heartthrob Dudes-With-Attitude and Then Imagining The Date They'd Take Me On

Nothing here!


Klavier Gavin
He's out of my league.
Leon S. Kennedy
I don’t date cops
Dante
Our date is cancelled when he links me a Mens Rights Movement blogpost the night before we're supposed to meet.
Dante
He responds to all my questions with one-word answers and then suddenly clips through the table at the restaurant, causing my life to crash to desktop.
Ken Masters
Sharing a tin of beans we found in a dumpster behind SONSON. We keep things platonic because I do not respect adulterers.
V
We take his dog for a walk then go to the local poetry night at the pub. Things fall apart when he tells me he has a son from a previous relationship.
Edward Falcon
I go round to Edward's place to watch the Arsenal game and eat bangers and mash, but am too disturbed by him punching all his drawers and cabinets to get stuff out that I leave before he has time to offer me a choc ice.
Nero
Putting on airs of respectful courtship every Sunday after mass but secretly we go smash up cars in the countryside.
Ken Masters
We listen to some Alice in Chains CDs in his Ferrari as he drives me to his yacht for an expensive three-course meal, followed by aggressive unsafe sex where he does very dangerous moves at random.
Dante
Phone a pizza to his place and then head to the club, where I respectfully feign attraction to his cringeworthy chatup lines and dance moves. I take his virginity soon afterwards.
Date Masamune
Go horse-riding during the day and then head back to his castle for a 10-course Kaiseki meal. After dinner, we sit by candlelight as he reads me some of the letters he's written to the Pope.
Leon S. Kennedy
Jet-skiing and then a McDonalds. He declines the invitation to come back to my place.

4 Comments


1 year ago

Leon S. Kennedy is absolutely a lovable dork
and Leon S. Kennedy is absolutely an irredeemable cop.

1 year ago

the dmc2 entry nearly caused me to choke to death on my dinner

1 year ago

Klavier Gavin is so out of everyone's league that it overflows back to the bottom rung (Apollo)

1 year ago

we sit by candlelight alongside his chaperone katakura kojuro


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