Me using my Spider-Sense super powers that came pre-installed by being a white woman to try to save my friend Max Caulfield before she becomes the main character of a Fatal Frame story. I start my journey by survivng cartoonishly unlikely events that no real human being would live and never getting myself warmer clothes despite the frigid environment, and I'll also wave around my bow and arrow in extremely high winds during cutscenes despite having three guns. I might have useless, one-note friends that are either dicks to me or provide no assistance, but with my knowledge of the flashbacks in the TV drama Arrow and my personality of lightly buttered white bread, I can get through this.

Game was pretty fun.

Over time I seem to have compartmentalized how this origin story needlessly brutalizes its characters, sometimes in service of the hackneyed narrative but mostly in an attempt to slather Lara Croft's journey from wide-eyed idealist to hard-edged "survivor" in a layer of faux maturity that pokes at ultra-violence with all the gravitas a triple-A adventure of this scale can muster. It will never not be ridiculous that this game features a cutscene where Lara breaks down after shooting a man's scalp clean off his dome only to immediately turn around and clear out a shooting gallery of nameless crazies without batting a teary eye. Ignoring all narrative context, however, Tomb Raider is a bop. Uncharted-lite gameplay with a large focus on bow and arrow combat (as was the style at the time) with aesthetic flourishes ripped directly out of The Descent. Not super complex, not super challenging, just the right amount of levity in gameplay that is severely lacking in its overwrought story. Square Enix are cowards for not making Sam and Lara a couple. Lara literally bridal carries Sam down from the top of a goddamn mountain. Cowards.

It ain't got no point to the game.

It would be very simple to play Braid in 2023 entirely as a lark, an opportunity to travel back to the year 2008 and come back laughing over just how wrong everyone was. Now, to be fair, everyone was wrong. Braid getting all this high praise for elevating video games, bringing philosophy and deep thought to a commercial video game, and expanding the audience's understanding of games, it all sounds like horseshit nowadays. It throws decades of independent, challenging work under the bus simply because it wasn't on Xbox Live Arcade. There is value in bringing more non-conventional games to the mainstream the way Jonathan Blow was able to by having the game be promoted by a big platform holder, but Braid is not the first game to do that either. Any prestige over Braid being the first Anything might as well be thrown out of the window.

That all being said, I came to Braid with an open mind and left with both more and less than what I expected. First of all, the game looks like ass. It has these painterly backgrounds that look ok, some nice pieces of art for the puzzles, and then every sprite clashes with all of that. Tim looks like shit, he's over-animated to the point of being uncanny, and every other moving thing in the game looks about the same level of bad. It's so sloppily put together in terms of art that I wonder how intentional it is, as this along with the sound effects and library music gives off a general vibe of cheapness, like the game was hurriedly put together. Considering the way the game is a commentary on games, that could be the case, but Blow talking about the care he took into art direction in interviews, and the fact that the upcoming Anniversary Edition looks basically the same but sharper, maybe someone out there thinks this looks good.

The game references Mario constantly, and the physics feel like they’re attempting to mimic Mario World’s, which would be appropriate given the nature of Mario World romhacks at the time which often encouraged save states and rewinding. But it’s completely off. Jumping off enemies often requires multiple attempts, having to rewind constantly because you were one pixel off their needlessly small hitbox. Levels are bizarrely put together in such a way that you never have to engage with any puzzle to progress outside of a small number of required ones. Blow said in interviews that he did this to avoid the constant rewarding of coins or collectibles that games often engage in, but it leads to every level consisting of two or three usually separate puzzle sections just floating in the air, often not connected or progressing from each other. This leads to levels feeling sterile and unexciting, the art does it no favors in, again, looking like it was just put together ungracefully.

The art along with the constant references to Mario emphasize the video gamey-ness of the whole thing. It’s like the game is defying the idea of having to lean towards more conventional story-focused game genres, like it was made on a dare to make a Mario game that was About Something. This game is made up of five main worlds, each one having a unique mechanic that builds on the base mechanic of rewinding and forwarding through time. Before every world, you’re given several paragraphs of text that tell the “story” of the game. Ostensibly the game is about the main character Tim looking for a princess to save after having jeopardized his relationship with her, but eventually, the princess and his struggle to find her come to represent many things. The time mechanics become a commentary on the irreversible nature of our decisions, the desire to go back when we can’t, and the virtue of patience. One world introduces a mechanic where certain objects are not affected by time after the text beforehand explains how Tim attempted to live a life unaffected by the things around him out of fear. Another has a ring that can slow things around him after explaining that Tim still wears what is presumably an engagement ring despite the princess leaving him, and how all social interactions are affected by this ring in a way he must navigate carefully. It’s a unique system of storytelling, and I’m not going to act like the text is poorly written or anything. There are some passages that I found genuinely affecting, but it isn’t an elegant solution for merging storytelling and gameplay at all. I get wanting to avoid cutscenes, but at the end of the day, this mode of storytelling feels too detached and non-committal. As Poyfuh explained in her review, these kinds of readings could be applied to anything, it doesn’t necessarily make this a deeper game than any other platformer. If I wanted to be more generous though, it’s kind of a museum approach to game presentation, as if each level is presented with a plaque next to it. After all, each world is accompanied not only by text but also by a painting, one that is revealed after completing each level of the world. It’s an interesting exercise in how context really can be everything, so I don’t want to completely invalidate it.

A lot of people have pejoratively described Braid’s plot as being another story of a sad straight boy lamenting the fact that he can’t talk to women. This is true, but I have to admit that in multiple parts of my life, I have been the sad straight boy that can’t talk to women, so a lot of the passages hit home in places. Shaking off years of misguiding narratives surrounding romance, and unrealistic depictions of love from fiction, including games, was a tough process that involved a lot of brutal truths, and the way the protagonist is not able to break away from them, felt very relatable. Having to learn that people are not abstract concepts, and the world doesn’t revolve around you, these are all experiences I’ve been through. I was expecting the writing to be laughable, but I ended up seeing myself in it, and I’m willing to admit that despite how embarrassing that may be.

But that’s the problem with Braid. I just spent most of this review talking about the writing, all of which is separate from the game part. Sure, it may have changed my understanding of the gameplay to an extent, but at the end of the day, when I miss what should be a really simple jump on an enemy’s head and have to rewind for the 10th time because everything still controls like ass, it’s hard to always keep all of that information in my head. The gameplay and puzzle design are tuned just wrong enough that these two parts of the game can’t connect despite all attempts to have them do so. You end up with some kind of neat journal entries and a forgettable puzzle platformer. Braid is almost there, but the way people talked about it back then just seems disconnected from reality, much like Tim in the game itself, and much like Jonathan Blow is right now according to his Twitter account. Braid and its legacy ended up becoming another weird puzzle floating in the air, one no one is excited to navigate anymore, no matter how much preamble it’s given. Nothing requires you to beat it, you can just move on to the next level.

It ain’t got no point to the game.

Wow. Picked this up on a whim after hearing smatterings of praise from people I trust and was pleasantly surprised with what I found here. It's hard to go into details about why I enjoyed it without spoiling certain things but suffice it to say I was thrilled to find a modern adventure game with an engaging narrative and great cast of characters behind it.

The central mystery was well thought out and certainly kept me guessing as I pieced the puzzle together. The (canonical) ending was especially charming and really felt like I was rewarded for my efforts in a big way.

That being said, the addition of combat in the gameplay loop could have either been vastly improved or taken out completely as I didn't feel like it added anything and more often than not just felt like an excuse to spice things up as you're investigating and interrogating.

Sidenote - learning that this game was originally a Skyrim mod created by a former lawyer made a lot of things about this make sense in retrospect so major kudos to him and the rest of his team.

9/10

I went into this one expecting a pure 90's styled adventure game like Myst but instead I was pretty constantly surprised by how the game veered into other genres without staying on them thematically for too long.

The Forgotten City is a time-loop adventure game about the ethics of human morality, the intrigue of generational shifts in religion and mythology, and gazing at elaborate architecture just because it makes the body feel good. Which is to say, it's a game obsessed with classical expression, visual decadence, and philosophical thought.

It's a hard game to talk about without spoilers but the brief version is: there is combat, there is a little bit of horror, and there are multiple answers to the central intrigue of the game that ensure even canon answers, much like morality, don't ensure perfect solutions.

If you like adventure games it's a stellar attempt at utilizing and modernizing that genre. If you like history, especially with focuses on Roman philosophy, politic, and mythology, then this is one of the most enjoyable game experiences you can find in that vein. And if you like interfaces and mechanics similar to modern Bethesda games like dialog-choice driven NPC conversations, light dungeon crawling, and environmental story-telling, then you'll have fun with this one over the course of a weekend. I only really recommend avoiding this title if you absolutely despise one or all of these descriptors.

The combat feels like an afterthought and I wish it didn't exist; I think the idea of being able to negotiate/talk your way out of everything with prior knowledge is more than enough. Also as a very minor gripe, the controls are set in such a way where you can't sprint and jump at the same time, which irritated me during the limited sections of platforming and climbing. But besides that, these guys have the right idea on how to make a good time loop puzzle game with an interesting narrative and discussion. I think they've done it even better than The Sexy Brutale in fact. The epilogue is a great catharsis, and overall I'd say this is a nice snug little game if you're just looking for an interesting take on walking simulators with puzzles.

P.T. started the trend of subtle horror games. No scary music, looping hallways and rooms, or needing to notice any changes to move on. Exit 8 is exactly this. A single white hallway in a subway tunnel has a couple of turns, and it loops endlessly unless you notice changes. There is no story, no background, and no character development. Just this single white hallway, and you need to get to exit 8.

Your only sign of progress is the yellow exit sign, which increases in number as you make your fourth turn. If that sign goes back to zero, you missed an anomaly. When you see it, you are supposed to turn around and go back the other way. Anomalies can be really obvious, like lights being turned off, open doors, or a single man walking towards you doing something different. Other subtle ones can be the floor tiles, a security camera light, or a poster changing. You might get really frustrated at first, but keep going. Memorization is the key to getting the job done. Once you know exactly where everything is supposed to be—how many doors, posters, etc.—you will finish in under an hour.

The horror elements are subtle and not forced. A moving object, no music, and just the hum of the lights and footstops. Maybe a creaking door might make you jump. You can stop, take your time, and check the main hallway for changes. Running full force all the way through will make you miss things. You have to turn around to see a few anomalies anyway. If there aren't any changes, you keep moving on, and sometimes this can really make you feel like quitting. You will think time after time that the hallway is fine, but then you will notice something new and just keep moving on. Don't let that sign resetting to zero keep discouraging you.

The graphics use Unreal Engine 5 and are nothing special, but the atmosphere of the sterile white hallway makes it creepy. A lack of music and most sound effects makes you feel on edge all the time. The single-footed man makes you very uneasy every time you pass him. All you want to do is get to exit 8, and the intensity might make you miss things as you become more and more anxious to get out. This single-looping hallway might drive some people nuts.

Overall, The Exit 8 is a fun game that lasts a couple of hours at the most. There are only two achievements, and once you see all the anomalies, there is nothing left to do except maybe do self-timed speed runs. Some may find this a simple tech demo, but I think more horror games need to go this route. It's only a few dollars, and possibly getting some friends around to help spot things can make this a fun party game as well.

If I were to take FEZ at face value, then my thoughts would be pretty brief: it’s a damn good puzzle-platformer game with a hella strong core, taking a 2D interconnected world and twisting it and turning it to achieve greater heights. It’s never particularly difficult or challenging, but it’s fun; reaching new areas is intriguing, and getting the cubes is ultra satisfying, and in a way, I’m kinda glad it never tries to have really hard sections or some sort of final challenge, because even tho I’m sure that’d be cool, and I would really love to see this dimension-shifting mechanic taken up a notch, I also think the way that it is makes the world feel much more organic than it otherwise would, and sells the idea that this is an experience more about the act of exploring than traversing perilous sections.

However, taking FEZ at face value is impossible, or at least it is for me. FEZ is the jumps and beautiful sounds and sights of its adorable ruined worlds as much as it is the secrets that lie within.

I have talked about my fascination with the ancient world and the mysticism and desire to learn that comes with simply witnessing it, whether it is the remnants of a bygone civilization or the remains of an animal that walked the earth hundreds of millions of nights ago. FEZ has a ton of the former and not much of the latter, but what it shares with both of those is that feeling.

The feeling of stumbling upon something you shouldn’t even be able to understand, of seeing the carvings in the wall and the very code that holds reality together and finding answers behind it—it’s satisfying to beat a platforming challenge and get to a chest with a key in it, but it’s equally, if not even more fulfilling, to fit pieces of the puzzle hidden yet in plain sight.

Spirals of purple marble endlessly repeating, secrets to be revealed by feathered friends or written outside of the game itself, tongues that can be completely translated, and moments like what happened to me where I solved a puzzle by complete chance by just fucking around moving some blocks; connecting the deepest secrets of the world through the addition of the Anti-Cubes alone was an amazing decision. Even after pulling apart layers on top of layers to get some of them, I still feel I’ve barely scratched the surface of what’s in here, what can be found, like an excavation that just has begun.

Every step is a new discovery, and making it to each of the main hub worlds opens a new horizon, from the oldest depths to the stormiest peaks, and it’s all so… tranquil. The wonderful, beautiful pixel art mixed with the outstanding OST, it compels you to keep going, to see juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust a lil’ more, to keep going a bit further, only to be met with a teleporter, going back to the hub, and repeating that process over and over again. It says a lot when, in the year 2024, a game that uses QR codes or 4th wall breaks to solve puzzles doesn’t make me groan; on the contrary, in fact, it manages to fit into that secret uncovering process tremendously well.

There are pieces that don’t quite fit: the fact that quite a few of those more hidden puzzles end up being a combination of LT and LR inputs is a bit disappointing and misses the mark on what other Anit-Cube quests accomplish so well, and there’s some even weirder stuff like annoying void squares that appear randomly and aren’t anything more than a dumb annoyance or how entering doors may just crash to desktop randomly, which isn’t part of the experience, mind you, and it takes you completely out of it sometimes. It only happened once to me, but this being a problem present years later is a bit disappointing, to be honest.

It's a cube quest that a few times can be a little disappointing or frustrating, but that’s something I can easily look past when the rest of it is so stellar that the act of opening doors is the most exciting fucking thing ever. It invites to wonder and imagine, and there’s so much to be solved and found that, after hitting credits, I feel like the exploration can go even further…  Oh, and also, Gomez’s design and name is the best fucking thing ever and there’s no contest, the most basic-ass lil white dude and I love it, look at his smile!

Adventure is out there, and it carries mysteries with it, it’s about time someone solves them.