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Trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism, eye-fucked me, affront to humanity, war crime, should literally be tried for war crimes, resolutely shit, lacking in imagination, uninformed reimagining of, limp-wristed, premature, ill-informed attempt at, talentless fuckfest, recidivistic shitpeddler, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another.
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Favorite Games

Return of the Obra Dinn
Return of the Obra Dinn
Dark Souls III
Dark Souls III
Bloodborne: The Old Hunters Edition
Bloodborne: The Old Hunters Edition
Hollow Knight: Voidheart Edition
Hollow Knight: Voidheart Edition
Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice - GOTY Edition
Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice - GOTY Edition

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Resident evil 7 is a big big disappointment. I think the game starts off super strong, but didn't have the spine to ultimately back it up after.

The game starts off with Mia, who, I really don't care about, but am expected to because she's Ethan's wife. This segment is alright, but not very noteworthy in my opinion.

The game truly starts for me at Jack. I love Jack. As a character, he actually feels terrifying because of how animated he is, how chaotic he feels, able to trigger random events and events dependent of your current specific predicament. It made every encounter with him feel special and out of control; even after I'd died and respawned, I didn't know what kind of thing he could still pull since it wouldn't be scripted. Jack alone, is basically carrying this game - his segment was a definite 5/5.

The mother's segment is next, which while not bad, was definitely underwhelming compared to Jack. Her character felt very lackluster and shallow, kind of just there for the sake of needing another bad guy. Though, I did enjoy their boss fight.

Next, is Lucas's segment, which undoubtedly was fun. I enjoyed avoiding the traps he set up, escape rooms, and playing along with his little games. His character was also there, feeling meticulous, sadistic and cunning. However, the main issue I take with Lucas is how his story is extended to the sidestory after the game. The main game has been building up Lucas throughout, but then falls flat ultimately, because it lacked any proper confrontation with him. It's just a weird design choice to conclude his story after the game in some side story.

Throughout this, we were also meant to still care about Mia (who I didn't) and this new character Zoe, who the game had also been building up, but ultimately gets around 20 seconds of screentime. It feels like a mountain of lost potential.

The game ultimately ends with the worst part - Eveline. Eveline's story is kind of generic, underwhelming and lacks any proper nuance. It is shoved in your face via numerous story segments, in the least interesting area of the game - dark, monotonous, and lacking any memorable aspect unique to it. I did not care for eveline, and did not have fun going back and forth on the ship trying to figure out where I'm meant to go next because the game does not make it clear what is interactable. When i finally left the area, I felt so relieved to be over and done with it, and then I could finally move on with the game.

When I beat Eveline, I ultimately thought to myself: wait, what? That's it?

I was firstly expecting a fight with Lucas, or an expansion of what happened to Zoe, and secondly that the fight with Eveline had been so underwhelming, that I believed that the final fight of the game was just the first phase of her boss fight. The game lands face first onto the gravel.

The game had started off super strong with Jack, and slowly over time, let me down more and more. It was a mountain of lost potential and a large disappointment to what the game clearly could've been, which had been evidently showcased to me through Jack.

As for the side story with the rest of Lucas's segment, it was very entertaining, and I did enjoy it, but find it a weird and out-of-place decision to put it after the game itself.

I really liked resident evil 2 remake, but the game does have it's flaws. Firstly, I'd like to state that the game has two main campaigns: Leon's story and Claire's story.

I think that I enjoyed Leon's story far more than Claire's story. I felt as if Claire's story was less eventful, and had a less engaging story. It also might have been because I had played through Leon's story first already. However, nonetheless, I still enjoyed the new variety of weapons and bosses, only wishing if had more variation with the areas and enemies between the two campaigns.

Design-wise, I think the enemy art direction was my favourite and most memorable from the resident evil games i played so far (1,2,4,7,8). I really love the art and animations of the bosses, in particular Mr. X and G-stage 3. Not to mention, the game also has many memorable moments and areas, especially the LAPD station, which you are forced to master the layout of.

Combat felt polished, slick and amazing to play with. Limb dismemberment was an extremely fun mechanic to add, as well all the different weapons and offensive options.

My favourite aspect of this game, is undoubtedly, Mr. X. I love him. I'm not gonna spoil him. Mr X is like my beloved.

Music is also great. One especially great soundtrack is during the final sequence of Leon's campaign.

So, why the missing 1/2 a star? Other than the to be desired variation between the two campaigns, I also feel as if some boss fights leave something more to be desired. Don't get me wrong, they're really cool and I enjoyed them, but the gameplay in them is mostly very simplistic (especially in the first William Birkins fight), where you mostly have to go between backing off and taking potshots at the weak spots. I think perhaps this was because it was an earlier title in the series, and glad to see this later resolved with the very satisfying parry mechanic in re4 remake.

4.5 stars because I <3 Mr. X

After playing this game, I finally understand the title, and think they misspelt it, because really it should be called "Evil Residence". It is in fact, so evil, that the architect who designed this place got lost it in, and then died after getting trapped. They have a signboard in the backyard which showcases the following four locations: the "Cave of Hatred", "Valley of Destruction", "Path of Revenge", and "Summit of Madness". They even hired CROWS to attack you if you fail the puzzle.

On a serious note, Resident Evil hits all the right notes - It is tense, scary, maze-like, and never lets up for a moment. I sweat while playing this game. You always have to be plotting ahead, about what to bring in your tiny inventory space, what your route through the mansion will be, when and where you should use your precious limited ammo, or finally spend it? And just when you think you have everything planned out and are finally safe, the game says:

"That's it, you've used this route too many times"

And then unleashes a hoarde of zombies on that path. From faster more aggressive zombies to broken doorknobs, Resident Evil forces the player to constantly compromise and reroute their paths. You may know the mansion's layout really well, but you never really know what will be safe. This is my favorite part of resident evil - the constant tension.

I also love the traps and tricks riddled around the mansion - secret passages, lowering ceilings, knight blender machines. It makes the whole mansion feel so complex and memorable. Furthermore, that fact that events within the mansion change over time also make it feel alive, even tiny details like crows coming to mourn their dead comrade, or the surprises waiting for you when you return back to the mansion from the nearby residence.

I also love the limited saves system. It forces the player to push on just a little bit further, take that extra risk, instead of saving every time you reach a typewriter. It once again, keeps that tension always going.

Having multiple screens for one room is weird at first, but I think that the clunky controls really add alot to the tension - having to awkwardly maneuver around a zombie, not being able to see what's around the next corner, it makes even tiny encounters with a singular zombie in a narrow hallway seem like a mountain of a challenge. It makes every single thing in this game a constant unrelenting challenge.

Personally, I think Resident evil is a very special and memorable experience. It forces you to master the layout and controls, but even then, you never know just what might happen on the way.