30 reviews liked by philanthropy


I did not know what the fuck was goin on but this game is so peak honestly

the only reason to play this is if you're horny for jill's blonde ass... so, yeah.

What can be said about REmake that hasn't already been said? This is the pinnacle of classic survival horror. Lush visuals, unmatched atmosphere, and challenging but fair gameplay. Every room, pre-rendered background, and camera angle is expertly crafted to suit the mood and needs of the scene, whether that is building suspense, drawing your eye to a specific location, or offering a reprieve from the horror.

I played the Steam remaster using Jill on the Normal difficulty, with tank controls. I appreciate the option for newer players to go with modern controls, but as far as I am concerned there is no option, tank controls are the way to go.

This is the fifth classic RE game I have played, having previously enjoyed 1, 2, 3, and Code Veronica. At first I was surprised at some of the changes compared to Code Veronica. Jill is a lot heavier and slower than I was used to my main character being. An individual zombie is a legitimate threat, able to take you down in 3-4 bites. If you are grabbed, you will receive a bite, unless you use one of the new defense items. The pistol no longer has any knockback on zombies, meaning you have less room to operate in while taking them down. Once I adjusted to the changes, I came to appreciate them for making this experience feel truly unique among the series. The first RE doesn't actually have that many zombies in it, mostly due to technical limitations at the time. REmake is faithful to the enemy count but has incorporated it into the gameplay design by making each encounter more important and memorable.

The Spencer Mansion is still the greatest setting the series has seen. The story is fun, with the new twists involving Lisa Trevor doing a great job at shaking things up and subverting expectations. The voice acting isn't as cheesy as the original, but it has plenty of charm.

The game has plenty of replayability. The protagonist selection, along with numerous small choices along the way, the multiple endings, the unlockable difficulty settings, costumes, and weapons. It is a complete package. I just finished the game but I am already looking forward to eventually replaying as Chris one day. I am sure this is a game I will come back to many times in my life.

In short, REmake is a masterpiece, and a must play for everyone.

Joe and Silvia are so cool! I wish straight people were real...

Man, you can tell this game wasn't written by Suda, because it pretty much lacks everything that made the first game fun, witty, charming, and unique in the first place, and feels like a glorified filler episode that you can easily skip going forward to TSA, except for the Kimmy fight and the second to last fight. Other than that, you can feel that they tried with the combat, but it feels very floaty in comparison to 1's tighter combat, the open world is borderline nonexistent, and it doesn't try to improve upon the so-so open world foundation set by the first game (even NMH3 tried that lmao) the levels feel frustrating (looking at you Shinobu) and the characters feel like caricatures of their previous incarnations (also looking at you Shinobu)

You know what? This game's Shinobu and her section represent everything wrong with this game; frustrating levels, half-baked boss and enemy design, unsatisfying gameplay, and shallow writing.

Quite possibly one of the worst experiences a video game can offer in which the previous game is all at once disregarded, constantly referenced to, spring-boarded off of, and completely ignored.

What minor improvements are made to missions, side-jobs, and combat (and I truly mean minor) are more like apologies for what a wet noodle of a game this is.

Bosses are some of the most miserable encounters since they vary from being mediocre to genuinely infuriating. Everything that is said for this games story or philosophy, or what it has to say about Travis is vapid and even if done purposefully so it's still leaves you wondering what the fuck happened to the pitiful loser that drove any interest in the first game.

This game's biggest crime is what they did to Naomi and pretty much every characters re-design good god. It's like they got Eiichiro Oda to purposefully bastardize what good can be found.

Still completely necessary to the KTP collection, even if it takes that to a whole new level of metatext

Oh my fucking god I had tears in my eyes from how hilariously racist this game is. The level of incompetence you could get out of Capcom between 2007-2015 was chefs kiss. And momma-mia this game is a spicy fuckaroni.

Great joy comes at the thought of culturally isolated Japanese people not thinking twice about having their zombie game take place in Africa and have the virus operate like Ebola. Don't worry, the main character is an out-of-place porcelain white dude dressed like Team America World Police agent soldier shooterman. The main villain is a nazi who cosplays as a netrunner from The Matrix. This concept will go really well guys trust me.

The actual fucked thing is the game doesn't do anything cool with it's African setting. Just favela-style infrastructure with melanated folks with huge bloodshot eyes. A majority of the game is just bland building structures that could be anywhere in the world. Boring.

Sheeva is a cool character that should have been the main character, but nothing is done with her other than to spout quips and be the living embodiment of "I'm not racist I have a black friend." as Chris tests Stand Your Ground laws by roundhousing a dude into a ramshackle fish market stand.

Aside from mowing down tribalists in wooden masks who chuck spears at you with a machine gun, the game's racism greatly tones down from Chapter 2 on. The game does a good job of making YOU feel racist by having the pacing fun slow way down after you stop slitting the throats of people and dogs in the street in exchange for some brain-dead puzzles and unengaging co-op platforming.

This game doesn't see color, because everything is brown as fuck. This game was peak sepia-toned nonsense. Fear not, because some sections are instead straight-up gray. You were supposed to be impressed by the HD textures and console performance instead of the color palette. Time has been unkind to that choice.

If this game didn't have good co-op for it's time I think this would have been...not as well received. It's co-op is still fun, but I played through the first couple chapters by myself and I was bored out of my mind. The game structure and setting are mind-numbingly dull compared to RE4. The trends it chased didn't pay off.

This is the perfect Steam gift for that divorced uncle who loves bringing up that Africans owned slaves too.

This review contains spoilers

No crying until the very end

Ladies and gentlemen, I think we're looking at Game of the Year material here. In a display of renewed brand synergy, McDonald's delivers a monumental return to form in the gaming market. Games of yesteryear such as M.C. Kids and Global Gladiators have come and gone, but the McDonald's fans have clamored for more. Grimace's Birthday is the answer to those prayers. With four levels of action-packed adventure, this digital masterpiece proves its standing with the greats. Let us not forget the dialogue in which this adventure is composed.

"Birdie, this is literally insane" - Grimace, 2023

I await the day hack fraud companies like Nintendo and Square Enix try to come back in the face of this achievement. Super Mario Bros. Wonder? Final Fantasy VII Rebirth? Please. Godspeed McDonald's Corporation and Krool Toys.

I wanted to give this game a 4.5 out of 5, I really did, but man, this game has me conflicted.

It has some of the best story, characters (special shoutouts go to my man Fu who is the best antag in the series) and it has the best iteration of Travis in the series alongside TSA), gameplay, enemy design, and some of the best boss fights in the whole NMH series, but it has the most barren open world with barely anything to do in or barely any sidecontent to speak of (looking at you Neo Brazil, which is just a big area with a couple of towers and nothing else :skull:), meh minigames, the artstyle and graphics don't look anywhere near as good as the original Wii games, even the gameplay feels a bit lacking in terms of moveset variety despite it being fun as hell, and several of the characters like Shinobu, Bad Girl and Midori get shafted HARD with barely any screentime to speak of, and the cool stages from NMH get replaced with these lowkey repetitive mini-stages that are spread throughout the open world, like yeah the stages in NMH2 were boring, but why not try to fix what was broken?

There's so much missed potential in here that was caused by Switch hardware limitations and budget issues, and you can tell that Suda and his team at Grasshopper Manufactured cared immensely about the series and had a blast making it, that it's just so sad to think about how it didn't reach the peak the studio wanted this to be, especially considering this is the finale to Travis's story, and because of all this, it's kind of a dissapointing one.

A downgrade of the first game in many ways. The story isn't as fun, the bosses aren't as memorable, and the overworld minimap is lacklustre. There's one chain of side missions called "Revenge Missions", which amount to nothing much. There's literally no point in grinding out the minigames for cash as there's nothing much to buy.
The bosses are so much worse than the first game, with literally only 2 of them that I would call "cool" off the top of my head.