about ten years ago I was goin thru a crosswalk when a car sped from behind, narrowly missed me, and drove full speed into the side of a house. I didn't see shit cos my back was turned, but the sound it made was otherworldly — impossible to describe

thumper trades in that kind of inexplicable catastrophic energy: a series of collisions in staccato; moments of grisly impact sped up, slowed down, and looped on repeat like endlessly rewound homemade horror tapes

monolithic droning violence that goes on & on til it takes the form of a numbing agent, delivered thru increasingly off kilter time signatures, railway tracks that churn and coil in on themselves, and a haunted windows media player visualizer aesthetic

its stubborn insistence on stretching a single tonal idea into a homogeneous sprawl won't be for everyone, but I can't imagine it any other way

something like this should feel like it lasts forever

The gimmick behind Quilts and Cats of Calico is that it's the video game adaptation of the board-game Calico but they added a feature where cats will walk all over the board and be cute and distracting while you're trying to focus.

Imagine my look of surprise when I kept getting distracted by cats walking over the board while trying to focus.

One of them even hissed at me when I tried to put a piece down.

Cats.

I started playing both Resident Evil 4 and Super Mario Galaxy last year when my cousin gave me his Wii with a bunch of games on it, but after the bootleg Wii remotes that we bought from Amazon suddenly stopped working, I wasn't able to play these two games (or any other Wii games, for that matter) since then. Our new Wii remotes arrived from eBay roughly six days ago, and I've been playing these two games since then, and I'm really glad that I can now finally talk about how awesome of a game this is.

Believe it or not, Resident Evil 4 was my first "real" survival horror game, and I don't think I could've asked for a better introduction. It strikes the perfect balance between being an action-packed third person shooter and a tense horror game by making the shooting dynamic enough to compliment the many great and explosive set pieces while still limiting your ammo and resources just enough to make you panic when you see a group of Los Illuminados members approaching you. The grotesque enemy designs and dilapidated environments greatly give the game a uniquely macabre atmosphere, and they add to both the story's serious and campy moments. Leon Kennedy is such an awesome protagonist, and he's surrounded by a cast of equally fun and interesting characters.

I kept hearing that the Wii version of Resident Evil 4 was the best way to play the game, and while I wasn't sure why before I actually started playing it, I can't imagine experiencing the game any other way. Not only do the motion controls greatly add to the game's immersion, but they also make the shooting feel really precise and satisfying. I loved absolutely everything about Resident Evil 4, and I'm not only excited to check out some of the other games in the series, but I also want to eventually play some other horror games from franchises like Silent Hill.

This is a true story.

I was about 7-years-old when Donkey Kong Country came out. It looked insane, and more than any other game for the system, it was the one that left me the most jealous of SNES kids. I needed to play it, but the only one I knew who had a copy was a boy on my block who I didn't get along with. I tried to suck up to him, but he knew I had a Genesis. He saw through my deception.

One day while riding my bike, I saw him run out of his garage to go over to a friend's house. With the garage door still open, I saw a golden opportunity... And so I snuck into his home and made my way to his bedroom, popped in Donkey Kong Country, and started playing. From the hallway, I could hear his mother approach, asking him a question that I cannot recall, clearly assuming her kid decided to stay indoors. As she turned the corner and peered into his room, she saw me on his bed playing the Super Nintendo. I'll never forget how loud she screamed as she chased me around his house and out into the street.

Just me doin' a little B&E because I love Donkey Kong Country so much.