Yeah, I'm done.
When you get a treasure chest it shows you a spinning upgrade wheel while your prize money increases, just like one of those gross casino ads that shows up on reddit mobile over and over.
Play FLERP or one of the many other "bullet heaven" games instead. At least they don't explicitly look like an advertisement for a fucking casino.
When you get a treasure chest it shows you a spinning upgrade wheel while your prize money increases, just like one of those gross casino ads that shows up on reddit mobile over and over.
Play FLERP or one of the many other "bullet heaven" games instead. At least they don't explicitly look like an advertisement for a fucking casino.
Did you know crack is illegal?
(Brotato is better, I guess)
Vampire survivors is still a good "I need to move my fingers" game, but slower, with a larger map and without a wave system.
Vampire survivors is still a good "I need to move my fingers" game, but slower, with a larger map and without a wave system.
Addicting and reasonably well-done (feels like there's some really good math behind the scenes) but will eventually get super tedious if you're trying to unlock everything. Pretty much the perfect podcast-listening game.
I do wish the rendering of the pixel art wasn't so ugly though.
I do wish the rendering of the pixel art wasn't so ugly though.
This game could probably be used as an excellent replacement to recreational drugs
did the movie click teach us nothing
Ugly to look at, inspired by the predatory mechanisms of the gambling industry in which the developer used to work, created by plagiarizing other games and built on roguelite elements made utterly brainless.
Gaming at its worst, in an embarrassingly dispassionate way, without an ounce of shame.
Unfortunately it is kinda fun.
Gaming at its worst, in an embarrassingly dispassionate way, without an ounce of shame.
Unfortunately it is kinda fun.
can I make it through that tiny gap of the absolute swarm of enemies and get that chest so that I can more effectively mow down the absolute swarm of enemies...lets find out
the video game equivalent of crack
it's lowest-common-denominator "number go up" nonsense but man, does it feel good unlocking the right upgrades and mowing down everything your path
it's lowest-common-denominator "number go up" nonsense but man, does it feel good unlocking the right upgrades and mowing down everything your path
If there was ever a game where Steam recommendations needed a 'meh, it depends' button, this is it. It's not that Vampire Survivors is an outright terrible game. It's just extremely basic and mediocre to play. and neither visually nor sonically all that stimulating. The visuals quickly become drab and uninspired, and the music quickly becomes repetitive. The game does get somewhat fun once you're ten or so minutes in your run and have a bunch of weapons and power-ups, but the baseline dopamine hit hardly feels worth the time invested. It feels like a game to play in the background while talking to someone, or listening to your own music of choice, because it doesn't justify the player's full attention.
A lot of player reviews talk about the addictive potential of this game, and for good reason. Just 15 minutes in, I started harbouring a suspicion the developer had a background in the gambling industry, which... of course he does. The game shamelessly ticks off all the boxes of 'ka-ching!' psychology casinos use to get you to play. The thing is, if you're onto it, it's much harder to be deceived. I found picking up treasure chests the most annoying part of the game, as they bring your gameplay groove to a halt to force you to watch an overlong slot machine animation. Quite frankly, I don't give that much of a fuck what power-ups I get, just let me keep playing.
Vampire Survivors is cheap, but not very fulfilling. I don't see myself playing it in a focused way beyond what I've already done - only occasionally, as 'something to look at' while doing other stuff. Players looking for a substantial game should avoid it. But a game that's carelessly bought and carelessly played, it can bring some enjoyment.
A lot of player reviews talk about the addictive potential of this game, and for good reason. Just 15 minutes in, I started harbouring a suspicion the developer had a background in the gambling industry, which... of course he does. The game shamelessly ticks off all the boxes of 'ka-ching!' psychology casinos use to get you to play. The thing is, if you're onto it, it's much harder to be deceived. I found picking up treasure chests the most annoying part of the game, as they bring your gameplay groove to a halt to force you to watch an overlong slot machine animation. Quite frankly, I don't give that much of a fuck what power-ups I get, just let me keep playing.
Vampire Survivors is cheap, but not very fulfilling. I don't see myself playing it in a focused way beyond what I've already done - only occasionally, as 'something to look at' while doing other stuff. Players looking for a substantial game should avoid it. But a game that's carelessly bought and carelessly played, it can bring some enjoyment.
The first game ever made that is actually fun
I do not know who I am.
I don’t know why I’m here.
All I know is that I must kill.
I don’t know why I’m here.
All I know is that I must kill.
In an industry where news are dominated by multibillion-dollar buyouts, it's refreshing to see a simple game made with ripped Castlevania assets and sold for three bucks finding success.
Why? Because it's fun.
Video games are great after all.
Why? Because it's fun.
Video games are great after all.
Screen goes plin plin.
Make sad head voice quiet.
Make sad head voice quiet.
I played this like a madman over the summer. I am not even sure I know why. I like the game. It is in many ways the perfect roguelike which exemplifies why roguelikes are so doomed. No other roguelike has taken 20 hours from me (apart from co-op Risk of Rain 2) and it is by far the least polished and most mindless entry in the genre.
It is in many ways the worst excesses of all roguelikes compiled into a single game presented in an absurd - and had this been a Kojima game - ironic way almost as to make fun of the quick dopaminergic drive that underpins the genre's popularity (and so much more in our popular culture). The overly tacky loot drops with chests opening in a confetti'd fanfare comes to mind as one example. The game almost plays itself only giving you WASD to move around and presents a limited choice of loot options. It is the greatest inadvertent social commentary produced by a game in this genre. No story, but still tells a compelling narrative about why most games today are complete garbage.
It is in many ways the worst excesses of all roguelikes compiled into a single game presented in an absurd - and had this been a Kojima game - ironic way almost as to make fun of the quick dopaminergic drive that underpins the genre's popularity (and so much more in our popular culture). The overly tacky loot drops with chests opening in a confetti'd fanfare comes to mind as one example. The game almost plays itself only giving you WASD to move around and presents a limited choice of loot options. It is the greatest inadvertent social commentary produced by a game in this genre. No story, but still tells a compelling narrative about why most games today are complete garbage.
in many ways, this is the platonic ideal of a videogame. you're a little guy and you have to not get hit by draculas. if anyone who's never played a game before asked me to show them one, i'd show them this.
the castlevania nostalgia trip is lost on me but the lofi retro late dos/early win95 aesthetic is rock solid. i like it.
hope they don't fuck it down the line by trying to add "lore" or "plot".
the castlevania nostalgia trip is lost on me but the lofi retro late dos/early win95 aesthetic is rock solid. i like it.
hope they don't fuck it down the line by trying to add "lore" or "plot".
"Become the bullet hell" is an incredibly strong concept and it's a crying shame it means fuck all in a game like this. A swift and merciful death to every fad genre that involves playing as little of a video game as possible a la this and the thankfully deceased Auto Chess 🙏
if "Avoid this horse ride SCAM in Karachi, Pakistan" was a videogame.
Dopamine tickler, the video game. Luca Galante puts his past experience as a gambling software programmer to good use here - Vampire Survivors is mesmerizing in its ability to give the player continuous positive feedback and string them along with constant rewards. Vampire Survivors, unlike a casino, does not ask much of your wallet. This game is surely a product of joy and passion. It delivers an insistently fun experience that is an easy recommendation to near anyone. The majority of runs are timed in a way that makes Vampire Survivors a near perfect "pick up and play" title on any platform one might choose to experience it on.
Jogado no Xbox Game Pass / Cloud Gaming, agora na versão 1.0. Aparentemente, precisou de mais um tempinho pra Vampire Survivors ter conseguindo me conquistar completamente.
Depois do lançamento, boa parte das minhas reclamações quanto a progressão e ganho de ouro foram melhoradas, tornando a experiência muito melhor. Nesse meio tempo, eu acho que fui entendendo mais como funcionam as evoluções das armas e o pequeno lore do jogo.
Ótimo jogo de relaxar e de ouvir podcast, torcendo demais para muitos e muitos DLCs de Vampire Survivors nos próximos anos.
Depois do lançamento, boa parte das minhas reclamações quanto a progressão e ganho de ouro foram melhoradas, tornando a experiência muito melhor. Nesse meio tempo, eu acho que fui entendendo mais como funcionam as evoluções das armas e o pequeno lore do jogo.
Ótimo jogo de relaxar e de ouvir podcast, torcendo demais para muitos e muitos DLCs de Vampire Survivors nos próximos anos.
I understand the addicting appeal of the game, but found it pretty boring after two days of playing it on my phone. It reminds me of Binding of Isaac, and how there isn't really a gameplay aspect other than just get lucky with the items handed to you. My dislike of that is probably why I so quickly got bored with both. My friend described it as the video game equivalent of junk food, which I feel fits my overall feeling on the game.
I had a longer review planned out, but honestly man?
This game just isn't that much different from a clicker/idle game. If you like those games then wire in, but to me they're just meritless time blackholes that're little more than Cocomelon for adults with untreated ADHD.
This game just isn't that much different from a clicker/idle game. If you like those games then wire in, but to me they're just meritless time blackholes that're little more than Cocomelon for adults with untreated ADHD.
played 20 hours. feels like watching a MrBeast video
kind of arbitrary whenever i decide to log this since i am Not gonna be a completionist about it, and also its obviously a difficult game to write about because it completely resists all normal avenues of game criticism, or at least the ones i care about. ill just say this: i think its understandable to be put off by the vibes, i kinda was and still kind of am. but what puts me at peace is that it is a game that takes the most Greedy types of games out there, and turns it into one of the most Generous. the timesink euphoria it offers is not completely what i want from games, but there is no ill will behind it, it just wants to give it to u freely. its hard to be mad at that.
Vampire Survivors is the Ready Player One of video games.
It has a lot of flash, pushes a few nostalgia buttons, and is fun for a time. There isn't really enough of substance here to carry the game, however. The celebrations and numbers going up certainly feel great -- in the same way that Cookie Clicker can feel great.
The hook is that Vampire Survivors is stripped down, with only movement to worry about. It is a cool idea, but I am disappointed that the removed complexity isn't leveraged to add something interesting to the game.
Vampire Survivors looks ok, has ok sound, and feels fine to play.
There just really isn't enough here for me to particularly care about once I get past the cheap dopamine hits it delivered in its first hours.
It has a lot of flash, pushes a few nostalgia buttons, and is fun for a time. There isn't really enough of substance here to carry the game, however. The celebrations and numbers going up certainly feel great -- in the same way that Cookie Clicker can feel great.
The hook is that Vampire Survivors is stripped down, with only movement to worry about. It is a cool idea, but I am disappointed that the removed complexity isn't leveraged to add something interesting to the game.
Vampire Survivors looks ok, has ok sound, and feels fine to play.
There just really isn't enough here for me to particularly care about once I get past the cheap dopamine hits it delivered in its first hours.
based brainrot cerebral hemorrhage game
One of the more insane games I've played recently. Vampire Survivors is not exactly a well made game, it looks like it could be made in MSPaint and its "secrets", as in secret levels, characters etc. make no fucking sense whatsoever. Not just in how you attain them but in like, their literal content. Why is there a secret character in this game called "Peppino" as in, Peppino the protagonist from Pizza Tower...And he's just a fucking tree? It's literally a tree?? Why can you play as three identical ghosts of different colours called "Esdeath", "Toasty" and "Smithy"? What is the purpose of the Il Molise stage? Or the Moongolow stage? Why is it called "Moongolow"? Why is that O there? What's the deal with all of the (pun intended) batshit insane unlock methods for random shit that makes no sense? What's different about the "challenge" stages like Bat Country and Tiny Bridge that seem to be both easier and quicker to complete (and therefore less challenging) than the regular stages? Could the game please stop to explain literally anything about itself at any point? No? Goofy arcade-ass game.
Oh, yeah. The gameplay.
It's fun! Damn this shit's fun as hell.
Vampire Survivors IS a well designed game. What a trip. I love the bit where I'm all like "whooosh, whooosh, PEW PEW PEW bam! bam! POOOOOOOOOOOOW"
"I am become death, the bullets of hell" -J. Robert Oppenheimer
I played this game for free on Game Pass and it gave me more hours of enjoyment than some somber slice-of-life indie about managing my emotions could ever have! Not bad for some piece of shit shovelware cooked up in Flash that takes half its identity from Castlevania! All of the bestiary entries are actually pretty funny and well-written! You didn't feel like just stopping and telling me what the fuck Eudaimonia M is supposed to be? What it's supposed to mean? How I even unlocked it? Ah, fuck it, I like blowing shit up too much
Oh, yeah. The gameplay.
It's fun! Damn this shit's fun as hell.
Vampire Survivors IS a well designed game. What a trip. I love the bit where I'm all like "whooosh, whooosh, PEW PEW PEW bam! bam! POOOOOOOOOOOOW"
"I am become death, the bullets of hell" -J. Robert Oppenheimer
I played this game for free on Game Pass and it gave me more hours of enjoyment than some somber slice-of-life indie about managing my emotions could ever have! Not bad for some piece of shit shovelware cooked up in Flash that takes half its identity from Castlevania! All of the bestiary entries are actually pretty funny and well-written! You didn't feel like just stopping and telling me what the fuck Eudaimonia M is supposed to be? What it's supposed to mean? How I even unlocked it? Ah, fuck it, I like blowing shit up too much
Seriously don't understand the cope surrounding this game. It's about as fulfilling as a slot machine, which shouldn't be a surprise as it was made by someone who used to work in the gambling industry.
after several hours I finally survived for 30 minutes and all I got was a reminder that death comes for us all
In 1953 two psychologists, James Olds and Peter Milner, modified the famous experiment of the "Skinner Box", by implanting nodes in the pleasure center of rats and linking them to a lever, which then the rats would press to activate.
¿The result? The rats would press the lever up to 7000 times per hour. When they were hungry they kept pressing the lever instead of eating. They kept pressing it when they were thirsty. They kept pressing it when they were in heat. They even ignored their offspring to keep pressing the lever.
The nodes had to be removed, otherwise the rats would literally die of starvation and thirst.
They called this phenomenon "Brain stimulation reward".
In case it's not clear, I'm saying this atrocity is the closest thing to that without outright implanting electrodes in your brain. It's no wonder the person who made this worked on the gambling machine industry, only someone with such a disgusting background could think that the only harmful aspect of that industry is the "gambling" part.
Now, as an exercise, think of any of the reasons why someone could find a game enjoyable or worthwhile. A meticulously crafted gameplay, an original artstyle, imaginative music, a masterful narrative. These are the ones that come to mind. Well, none of these, nor any other reason that makes games, or art in general, good and beneficial to people are present in Vampire Survivors.
The only thing this thing can provide you is the same hollow, even harmful, mindless pleasure that the lever gave the rats. And, as happened with the rats, you should unplug this shit off your brain before you are incapable of enjoying anything else.
Edit: In case it needs to be said, I do not think anyone is stupid for liking VS, but I do think almost any videogame with a focus on their gameplay loop is a better use of your time in case you simply want to disconect. Play stardew valley, or into the breach, or hades, or crypt of the necrodancer, or enter the gungeon, or a forza horizon, or even play a monster hunter.
¿The result? The rats would press the lever up to 7000 times per hour. When they were hungry they kept pressing the lever instead of eating. They kept pressing it when they were thirsty. They kept pressing it when they were in heat. They even ignored their offspring to keep pressing the lever.
The nodes had to be removed, otherwise the rats would literally die of starvation and thirst.
They called this phenomenon "Brain stimulation reward".
In case it's not clear, I'm saying this atrocity is the closest thing to that without outright implanting electrodes in your brain. It's no wonder the person who made this worked on the gambling machine industry, only someone with such a disgusting background could think that the only harmful aspect of that industry is the "gambling" part.
Now, as an exercise, think of any of the reasons why someone could find a game enjoyable or worthwhile. A meticulously crafted gameplay, an original artstyle, imaginative music, a masterful narrative. These are the ones that come to mind. Well, none of these, nor any other reason that makes games, or art in general, good and beneficial to people are present in Vampire Survivors.
The only thing this thing can provide you is the same hollow, even harmful, mindless pleasure that the lever gave the rats. And, as happened with the rats, you should unplug this shit off your brain before you are incapable of enjoying anything else.
Edit: In case it needs to be said, I do not think anyone is stupid for liking VS, but I do think almost any videogame with a focus on their gameplay loop is a better use of your time in case you simply want to disconect. Play stardew valley, or into the breach, or hades, or crypt of the necrodancer, or enter the gungeon, or a forza horizon, or even play a monster hunter.