Behhhhhh
You guys spent $70 on Bad Piggies
2020
I'll see someone put the corniest string of words together under a game i like then this kids sad little face will be staring at me on their best games ever throne
2023
I loved the original Resident Evil 4 so much. It's one of my favorite games ever made, and it is nearly perfect every sense of the word. Notice how I said nearly perfect, because there was just a few issues: the game had too much soul and I hated that Salazar wore a hat. For years I had thought if only there was a game that could solve my problems.
I lived in agony until this fateful day, when Capcom gave me exactly what I wanted. This is why I game.
I lived in agony until this fateful day, when Capcom gave me exactly what I wanted. This is why I game.
My favorite album from Kanye West's discography was Graduation. It was filled with so many great songs and the album had this youthful cheery vibe to it that was completely unmatched. So many of the tracks fill me with joy, and it's an unmatched classic even now. To this day I still can't decide my favorite song from it. Champion, Flashing Lights, The Glory, I Wonder, etc. There's just too many good ones. Mr. West delivered something unforgettable, and I'll be enjoying it for years to come.
AI: The Somnium FIles is nothing like Graduation. Nirvana Initiative will be nothing like Graduation. This franchise will never be anything like Graduation.
AI: The Somnium FIles is nothing like Graduation. Nirvana Initiative will be nothing like Graduation. This franchise will never be anything like Graduation.
Geno is never going to be in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate
This is one of the worst written games I've ever experienced. Actually, one of the worst written pieces of media in general. When I think about the fact that this game was made my eyes genuinely start involuntarily watering and I have to take deep breaths and calm down, usually by watching Tom and Jerry shorts or listening to a song from Drake and 21 Savage’s collab album Her Loss.
It's a shame, because this game has by far the best characters in the franchise, but they're all not used very well. The tragic Ryoma Hoshi, the mischevious Kokichi Oma, the unsettling Korekiyo Shinguji, the heroic Kaito Momota, and more. It's like if you go to the grocery store, buy 16 apples (these apples are representations of the Danganronpa V3 characters in my analogy) and then you walk out the store and start throwing the apples into oncoming traffic and watch them get destroyed and spoiled. It's horrifying and sickening to think about. I bet THAT drove some of you to tears.
The high point of this game is the executions. That's what it does better than the other games. Can you imagine how I sound right now? "Yeah, this game murders children better than the other games do," do you realize how that sounds? If any sane person saw me say this they'd think I was insane and stay away from me. That's what this horrible game's doing to me and my life.
I know multiple people who insist this game is good, and they always make fun of me when I say this game sucks. They harass me, point fingers at me, start saying degrading things to hurt my character, and it never ends. Only I see the truth of this game, and the truth is that only Chapter 1 and 4 were good, and even 1 is significantly flawed, carried by a twist everyone is always YELLING and SCREAMING about. Screaming in my ears! It wasn't that sad either. I didn't cry, and I never felt like crying. You wannna know what WAS sad? Uncle Ben's death in Sam Raimi's Spider-Man. They built him up as a likable character, and one with a very close connection to Peter. And all thanks to our protagonist's mistake, he indirectly causes his dear uncle to get shot in cold blood. That's how you establish a tragic death, and make me feel for the protagonist in loss. Imagine if Peter cried over some random old man he only knew for two hours, that would be overdramatic and I would wonder why this movie is so acclaimed. Thankfully, that's not the case here and Sam Raimi made a masterpiece of a film.
Willem Dafoe's performance as the Green Goblin is also unmatched. He made him seem like a silly cartoon villain, but also a menacing one who wasn't afraid to drop a train full of children off a bridge to their deaths. He has a tragic motivation, but not a redeeming one that nullifies his descent to madness.
Now moving on, I think Alfred Molina also plays a brilliant Doctor Octopus. A man who had everything going for him. He had a loving wife, a great career, and was about to complete his dream machine. That is, until disaster struck. He got too cocky, he miscalculated. That resulted in his wife, his dream, his reputation, all gone. His inner rage and the AI of the arms he made himself pushed him into a path of darkness, similarly to the Goblin. He had a tragic motive, but not a redeeming one. He knew he would destroy the city, but he didn't care. He had nothing left to do but see his dream through. It isn't until our titular hero Spider-Man snaps him out of it. He learns that sometimes, we have to give up the things we love dear to do what's right, even our dreams. This is when he sacrifices himself to make up for everything he's done wrong. A powerful character, and a powerful movie.
Why did I go into an analysis about Sam Raimi's Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2? Because those movies are well written and better worth the time than this steaming DOGPILE of a video game. You people are all like Doctor Octopus with the arms, controlled by an AI chip telling you this game is good. I'm Spider-Man, and I'm the one who's trying to snap you all out of it. I'm the hero who saves the city.
And if you think Maki was a good character you probably also unironically think Venom from Spider-Man 3 was a good villain.
It's a shame, because this game has by far the best characters in the franchise, but they're all not used very well. The tragic Ryoma Hoshi, the mischevious Kokichi Oma, the unsettling Korekiyo Shinguji, the heroic Kaito Momota, and more. It's like if you go to the grocery store, buy 16 apples (these apples are representations of the Danganronpa V3 characters in my analogy) and then you walk out the store and start throwing the apples into oncoming traffic and watch them get destroyed and spoiled. It's horrifying and sickening to think about. I bet THAT drove some of you to tears.
The high point of this game is the executions. That's what it does better than the other games. Can you imagine how I sound right now? "Yeah, this game murders children better than the other games do," do you realize how that sounds? If any sane person saw me say this they'd think I was insane and stay away from me. That's what this horrible game's doing to me and my life.
I know multiple people who insist this game is good, and they always make fun of me when I say this game sucks. They harass me, point fingers at me, start saying degrading things to hurt my character, and it never ends. Only I see the truth of this game, and the truth is that only Chapter 1 and 4 were good, and even 1 is significantly flawed, carried by a twist everyone is always YELLING and SCREAMING about. Screaming in my ears! It wasn't that sad either. I didn't cry, and I never felt like crying. You wannna know what WAS sad? Uncle Ben's death in Sam Raimi's Spider-Man. They built him up as a likable character, and one with a very close connection to Peter. And all thanks to our protagonist's mistake, he indirectly causes his dear uncle to get shot in cold blood. That's how you establish a tragic death, and make me feel for the protagonist in loss. Imagine if Peter cried over some random old man he only knew for two hours, that would be overdramatic and I would wonder why this movie is so acclaimed. Thankfully, that's not the case here and Sam Raimi made a masterpiece of a film.
Willem Dafoe's performance as the Green Goblin is also unmatched. He made him seem like a silly cartoon villain, but also a menacing one who wasn't afraid to drop a train full of children off a bridge to their deaths. He has a tragic motivation, but not a redeeming one that nullifies his descent to madness.
Now moving on, I think Alfred Molina also plays a brilliant Doctor Octopus. A man who had everything going for him. He had a loving wife, a great career, and was about to complete his dream machine. That is, until disaster struck. He got too cocky, he miscalculated. That resulted in his wife, his dream, his reputation, all gone. His inner rage and the AI of the arms he made himself pushed him into a path of darkness, similarly to the Goblin. He had a tragic motive, but not a redeeming one. He knew he would destroy the city, but he didn't care. He had nothing left to do but see his dream through. It isn't until our titular hero Spider-Man snaps him out of it. He learns that sometimes, we have to give up the things we love dear to do what's right, even our dreams. This is when he sacrifices himself to make up for everything he's done wrong. A powerful character, and a powerful movie.
Why did I go into an analysis about Sam Raimi's Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2? Because those movies are well written and better worth the time than this steaming DOGPILE of a video game. You people are all like Doctor Octopus with the arms, controlled by an AI chip telling you this game is good. I'm Spider-Man, and I'm the one who's trying to snap you all out of it. I'm the hero who saves the city.
And if you think Maki was a good character you probably also unironically think Venom from Spider-Man 3 was a good villain.
2003
stay in the mii costume you filthy animal
Very fun game. Nice artstyle good music and awesome bosses. Happy that Capcom keeps supporting this franchise even though it isn't a big success. They should've marketed it more though. Still haven't gotten the true ending but I'll keep playing until I get it.
THAT'S ENOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!
I'VE FUCKING HAD IT WITH YOU CONTRARIAN IDIOTS, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOUR HORRIFIC LITTLE ATTORNEY IS NOT GETTING ANOTHER GAME! YOU SO DESPERATELY CLING TO THE IDEA OF YOUR JOKE DESIGN OF A FIGHTING GAME CHARACTER GETTING INTO WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY THE VIDEO GAME HALL OF FAME, AND IT DISGUSTS ME! IT IS UTTERLY PUTRID! STOP! FUCKING STOP! GHOSTS N' GOBLINS RUNS FUCKING CIRCLES AROUND THE PHOENIX WRIGHT FRANCHISE, IT IS OBJECTIVELY MORE POPULAR AND MEMORABLE, AND 30+ YEARS FROM NOW GHOSTS N' GOBLINS WILL BE FONDLY REMEMBERED WHILE PHOENIX WILL BE ESSENTIALLY WIPED FROM EXISTENCE. HE'S NOT GETTING IN. HE'S NEVER FUCKING GETTING IN. STOP. POSTING. ABOUT. PHOENIX. AND BEFORE YOU BAFOONS LEAVE ANY BRAINDEAD COMMENTS, SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'VE HEARD EVERY SINGLE ONE IN THE BOOK. NONE OF YOU COME EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO BEING WITTY OR CHARMING. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN.
EDIT: I got the true ending. Sir Arthur is such a great and respectable hero.
THAT'S ENOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!
I'VE FUCKING HAD IT WITH YOU CONTRARIAN IDIOTS, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOUR HORRIFIC LITTLE ATTORNEY IS NOT GETTING ANOTHER GAME! YOU SO DESPERATELY CLING TO THE IDEA OF YOUR JOKE DESIGN OF A FIGHTING GAME CHARACTER GETTING INTO WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY THE VIDEO GAME HALL OF FAME, AND IT DISGUSTS ME! IT IS UTTERLY PUTRID! STOP! FUCKING STOP! GHOSTS N' GOBLINS RUNS FUCKING CIRCLES AROUND THE PHOENIX WRIGHT FRANCHISE, IT IS OBJECTIVELY MORE POPULAR AND MEMORABLE, AND 30+ YEARS FROM NOW GHOSTS N' GOBLINS WILL BE FONDLY REMEMBERED WHILE PHOENIX WILL BE ESSENTIALLY WIPED FROM EXISTENCE. HE'S NOT GETTING IN. HE'S NEVER FUCKING GETTING IN. STOP. POSTING. ABOUT. PHOENIX. AND BEFORE YOU BAFOONS LEAVE ANY BRAINDEAD COMMENTS, SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'VE HEARD EVERY SINGLE ONE IN THE BOOK. NONE OF YOU COME EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO BEING WITTY OR CHARMING. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN.
EDIT: I got the true ending. Sir Arthur is such a great and respectable hero.
1998
Frank Horrigan is the most raw rpg final boss ever
Definition of GOAT: Greatest Of All Time: used to refer to or describe the person who has performed better than anyone else ever, especially in a sport.
Definition of GOAT (Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn): Brom.
Above all else, Brom is the GOAT. There is no questioning this fact. No one else in this game is Brom. Every character in this game wishes they were Brom, but they will never be. They wish they could be even half of who he is, but they never will be. Brom is a soldier, a champion, and a family man. The strongest generals and even the mightiest gods tremble when they see him approaching. It's not a matter of if Brom can triumph, it's a matter of how fast he will. He is the Greatest Of All Time.
Definition of GOAT (Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn): Brom.
Above all else, Brom is the GOAT. There is no questioning this fact. No one else in this game is Brom. Every character in this game wishes they were Brom, but they will never be. They wish they could be even half of who he is, but they never will be. Brom is a soldier, a champion, and a family man. The strongest generals and even the mightiest gods tremble when they see him approaching. It's not a matter of if Brom can triumph, it's a matter of how fast he will. He is the Greatest Of All Time.
This review was written before the game released
I don't need screenshots. I don't need demos. I don't need trailers. I don't need footage. I don't need a release date. I don't need a summary. I don't need any kind of information. I already know this game is the rawest game to ever drop this decade.
2017
Peak. Raw. Fire. Goated with the sauce. This is the best video game ever created. Team Cherry made this game because they love me, what I do, and everything I stand for. There are no flaws with this game.
"The combat! It's too hard!" Get better. If you're too stressed, go take a break. Maybe go watch some Mickey Mouse to ease the mind, then come back and try again.
"All the areas are blue! It looks the same!" You're lying. You played the game for one hour. You didn't even get to Greenpath. No one believes you. You are a fool. A moron.
"Where do I go? The map doesn't show anything!" What the hell??? Do you want Elmo and Cookie Monster and Big Bird to drop in and hold your hand throughout the world and point you exactly where you should go? Figure it out. Go find what's out there yourself.
"The music sucks" No one's ever actually said this. I made it up to make the review look longer.
"The death system" Stop dying. If that was too much then go back, you got there you can go there again. The evil scary ghost that reminds you of your horrific failure only takes 3 hits to kill. If it scares you too much and you wet your pants then go to the wizard magician at the end of Dirtmouth and hand over the Rotten Egg.
"I hate Zote! He's not attractive or charming!" Fuck you.
"The game is too big! I hate backtracking!" Why are you playing this genre? Are you too lazy to backtrack to the kitchen everytime you get hungry for a little snack maybe some popcorn or a granola bar? Do you refuse to shower because you don't want to backtrack to the restroom?
"The map sucks!" Go buy the markers at the map shop and equip the compass charm. Is that not enough? Do you want a cookie with that? Or maybe a Capri Sun juice? Fruit punch flavor?
"I guess I'm not into Metroidvanias" Fix that.
This game is wonderful and everyone should play it. Don't comment if you have Omori or a Persona game in your top 5.
"The combat! It's too hard!" Get better. If you're too stressed, go take a break. Maybe go watch some Mickey Mouse to ease the mind, then come back and try again.
"All the areas are blue! It looks the same!" You're lying. You played the game for one hour. You didn't even get to Greenpath. No one believes you. You are a fool. A moron.
"Where do I go? The map doesn't show anything!" What the hell??? Do you want Elmo and Cookie Monster and Big Bird to drop in and hold your hand throughout the world and point you exactly where you should go? Figure it out. Go find what's out there yourself.
"The music sucks" No one's ever actually said this. I made it up to make the review look longer.
"The death system" Stop dying. If that was too much then go back, you got there you can go there again. The evil scary ghost that reminds you of your horrific failure only takes 3 hits to kill. If it scares you too much and you wet your pants then go to the wizard magician at the end of Dirtmouth and hand over the Rotten Egg.
"I hate Zote! He's not attractive or charming!" Fuck you.
"The game is too big! I hate backtracking!" Why are you playing this genre? Are you too lazy to backtrack to the kitchen everytime you get hungry for a little snack maybe some popcorn or a granola bar? Do you refuse to shower because you don't want to backtrack to the restroom?
"The map sucks!" Go buy the markers at the map shop and equip the compass charm. Is that not enough? Do you want a cookie with that? Or maybe a Capri Sun juice? Fruit punch flavor?
"I guess I'm not into Metroidvanias" Fix that.
This game is wonderful and everyone should play it. Don't comment if you have Omori or a Persona game in your top 5.
How is Smash the "celebration of gaming" and not the game where I can put Viewtiful Joe and Arthur on the same team?
2012
What a nice game with good art and music I wonder if the composer has a Twitter account
Also check this out
Also check this out
2019
“We have to be careful there’s a risk of thunder out tonight”
“What about rain?”
“Yeah there’s a Risk of Rain 2”
Bravo.
“What about rain?”
“Yeah there’s a Risk of Rain 2”
Bravo.