49 Reviews liked by Conqueror


This review contains spoilers

After marathoning every single No More Heroes game over the course of two weeks it's finally time to finish with No More Heroes III. Some people love this game and call it one of Sudas best while just as many deride it and call it an absolute sham of an experience. I'm somewhere in the middle with it however, as while it certainly does shit the bed in a lot of places, its also a pretty decent action game oozing with style.

After how rough an experience Travis Strikes Again was I had no hope for III gameplay wise but I am pleasantly surprised to say that it might have the best gameplay of the entire series. While I do miss beam customization and the grind for abilities is the worst its ever been (seriously why get rid of training), the overall feel of it and revamped mechanics makes it so fun. The slot machine being much more useful and changing up how wrestling moves work creates the fastest paced combat in the series, and the returning skills/death chips make Travis feel very versatile in combat. Another great change is the designated fights that replace levels this time around. In addition to the ATM feature of 1 returning you are also forced to do some minor skirmishes in order to fight a boss. While the locales are a bit generic I generally like this in comparison to levels because of how short and sweet they all feel, never taking too long and being pretty easy to get too in the small hubs this game has. Also this game goes balls to the walls in so many ways and I fucking love it for that, easily being the most stylish Suda 51 game with tons of fun moments throughout (FU is also a phenomenal villain that manages to be consistently entertaining). Little things like the fake intros and VN sections returning from TSA just adds to the overall experience and makes going through the journey worth it.

All that being said No More Heroes IIIs biggest sin is....the fucking visuals. Powered by Unreal Engine 4 (an engine that actually LOOKS GOOD ON SWITCH) the game manages to consistently look like a budget Wii game with character models in particular looking like acid attack victims. Its a real shame because a lot of the alien designs do look great and in the animated cutscenes they really shine but in game its rough. The overworlds also suffer this being pretty empty areas with only sparse things to do (like side jobs or the aforementioned matches). I don't hate this feature as much as others do because the hubs are super tiny but it also could've been axed and nothing would be lost. Speaking of nothing, NMH3s overall narrative is another weak point that feels like a complete clusterfuck, with many things either feeling intentionally screwed over or things just being blatantly unfinished. The assassins are hit with this the most, as a good chunk of them YOU DON'T EVEN FIGHT, being replaced with either nothing burgers (the musical chairs beast) or some odd nostalgia dumps (Kimmy Love and Henry Cooldown). After TSAs pretty solid story this feels like a massive kick in the balls that permiates throughout the 17 hour runtime, with the only saving graces being the aforementioned FU and the pretty solid characterization of Travis, who gets some great moments (like the rap with Kimmy or the entire ending). Finally the soundtrack might be the weakest in the series, with the only tracks I liked being the ramen store theme and Kimmy Loves theme.

NMH3 is a true mixed bag of a title that feels less like the satisfying continuation of a series and more of a shitpost. It does make me curious as to where Grasshopper will go with the series probably never getting a sequel due to Marvelous owning the majority of the IP. Not the worst of the series but certainly not its best outing.

6/10

It still brings a smile to my face thinking about it having played it so many years ago

The thing about playing this after other Fallouts is that you easily notice certain flaws; the map having little places to explore, skills like hacking and repair relying on rolls meaning you don't have to level them up and can just re-attempt infinitely, etc. But what you get in exchange is genuinely one of the hardest atmospheres I've seen in any game period, it is such an extreme feeling of desolation and loneliness even for Fallout standards, combined with the story and timer giving you anxiety just for existing. It's an imperfect but really unique experience and I'm glad I finally played it.

It's been two months since I last reviewed this. While a lot of issues have been fixed, the game has only become even more unstable over time. We are talking more crashes, even more glitches, server disconnects, etc. I'm genuinely worried the game will get a lot more content over time but with it even more instability.

The two eternal legacies of this game:
1. improving Source Filmmaker animation solely because of Elizabeth
2. "wait Matthewmatosis said what?"

Amazing this game legacy is just that "go to the bathroom now!" video and the yahtzee, review where he says the N-word four time in a row

This review contains spoilers

the only cultural relevance this game will have is a youtube video of a mom yelling at his kid to go the bathroom

As a 3D platformer, this game is fantastic. Beyond the movement being extremely fluid and responsive it has an aspect that I seek out of 3D platformers, expressing yourself with said movement. You can, in a way, sequence break levels, which I did a lot by abusing the wallkick, to the point that the bounce jump was the very last upgrade I got. It's the perfect combination of letting you go crazy with the sandbox of movement, but also incentivizing you to do so.
However, as a metroidvania, ehh...
The combat just sort of exists and while the lack of a map is a problem the real issue the lack of direction. It never actually feels like any of the areas are connected, so a lot of time I got this feeling of "Oh, I'm here?" At the very least I appreciate the game's direction of "Just go find these 5 thingamagigs and get to the end."
The foundation is more than great, so I'm hoping a sequel comes one day to polish the rough edges.

Abide with Rubicon.
I'll admit that I am somewhat biased with this review, I have played almost every AC game, from 1 to Verdict Day, and am overall a really big AC fan.
With this in mind, how's the game? It's almost everything I wanted.
The gameplay is a blend of 4th gen and 5th gen, focusing on the bigger setpieces and bosses like 4th gen, but being slower, further allowing for more strategies. Add a Sekiro-esc stagger system and you got the best gameplay loop in the series.
Furthermore, it has the best story in the series, every character is entertaining, and I love the little additions new game+ and ++ add.
I also appreciate the level variety, while it is somewhat of a shame that there's few levels where you fight gigantic machines ala For Answer, it is good that even the simplest levels at least have a gimmick or two to spice things up.
My only real complaint about the game is that the OST is disappointing, it feels like Frequency/Kota Hoshino focused too much on atmospheric tracks, and while that fits the mood, I expected a lot more songs with vocals, or at least rock ones. That said, there are some songs which do scratch the itch.
Overall, the game is amazing, feeling like a mix-match of everything good from all AC games in every sense. If you keep your eye out, you'll notice indirect references to the other games, evolutions of their themes and style. I'm really hoping FromSoft looks at the success of this game and keeps the series alive and well in the future.

Seeing zoomers being old enough to do half hour long essays on how "atcshually Sonic 06 is not that bad" because they grew up with this garbage is perhaps the most piss poor attempt at revisionism by pretentious kids who think their opinions matter because they can do some wacky effects on Adobe Premiere Pro

I used to dream about doing the wood plank swing animation on my boss at my retail job

context is why this collection thrives

whether you grew up with atari games, you find their primitive nature to be charming, or you kinda fucking hate them and claim they're boring as sin - atari 50 has something for you

this isn't a hollow game collection - it's an interactive museum. many of the titles on here are backed by interesting concept art, corporate documents, and even developer interviews. it's so fascinating to see the rise and fall of atari chronicled so honestly from the people that saw it eat shit firsthand. the whole presentation really enriches a lot of the games on here. arcade inlays and side panels are replicated, shitass controls are optimized for controllers, and some classics are even remade faithfully from the ground up

my only gripe is that this strain on the historical angle means some more fun and exciting picks were left out. this especially is noticeable on the jaguar selection. there's not a single cd-based pick on here, and a lot of more interesting titles (attack of the mutant penguins for instance) are omitted in favor of absolute fucking trash like atari karts and club drive. not the end of the world since emulators exist, but an oversight nonetheless