DespicableCHUD
2019
Just deliriously awful. A miserable, mawkish, unexpectedly HILARIOUS experience, all angst and self-aggrandizement and goofy edgelord dumbfuckery. Oh, and the game design is beyond broken. Look, I know "so-bad-they're-good" video games are few and far between, but this stupid little thing made me Dom DeLuise wheeze-laugh throughout its entire runtime. A near perfect storm of terrible bullshit.
2007
Incredibly lather-rinse-repeat, especially near the end, but... come on. It's Persona. It's great.
Also, holy crapballs, that ending...
Also, holy crapballs, that ending...
2022
A lot like WWE booking itself: plodding, monotonous, frustrating, repetitive, incredibly lame, but still weirdly compelling. This is an objectively mediocre-to-bad game that I somehow dumped a ridiculous number of hours into stupid, broken game (until the endless slog of MyRise mode sent me into a catatonic state).
Also: WTF is up with those hair textures???
Also: WTF is up with those hair textures???
2019
Stupidly addictive.
2017
Bought this ages ago and didn't really connect with it at the time... but now I've picked it up and I'm having a hard time staying away. Oh god... are roguelikes/roguelites my favorite game genre?
2022
The 2022 GOTY.
2011
A collection of discarded, secondhand curious and what's-its purloined from the estate of James Ellroy and old episodes of Dragnet. Janky, repetitive, prestige-hungry, and about half as smart as it thinks it is. Some of the twists and turns of its second half are fairly intriguing (especially as it relates to Cole's character arc), but the process of actually getting there is an absolute slog. It doesn't help that most of the individual cases aren't as engaging or tightly plotted (or hell, fun to play) as I would have liked.
2022
It's fine.
1996
An absolute atrocity. I love it.
2018
Suffers from a bad case of collectijunctivitis, but still a gobsmackingly good game.
2018
This review contains spoilers
A halfsterpiece. Loved the left-to-right Ninja Garden platformer stages, but the game took a real nosedive during the second half, when it abruptly transforms into a shitty, unfulfilling, and maddeningly tedious Metroidvania. The strength of the first half was enough for me -- and I didn't even bother finishing the rest.
2022
This game has so such much going for it—the grungy, neon-hued aesthetics; the menacingly beautiful environments; the ecocentric take on urban exploration; the cute kitty—and yet it’s ultimately let down by its ropey storytelling, stale mechanics, and a never-ending procession of fetch quests and inventory puzzles (you know, in a cat game). Still worth playing, but not quite as good as I’d hoped.
2018
I really don't like this game.
2020
Is this supposed to be janky and unplayable on purpose?
My opinion on this game oscillated wildly from moment to moment, hour to hour, bounding from tedium to exhilaration, eye rolls to jaw drops. And in the end, now that I’ve trawled through the game multiple times and made it to Ending E, I think it’s safe to say this nonsensical, dorky, convoluted mess really won me over.