1999
Went to a bar-cade where I proceeded to spend 1/3 of my time completing every level in this game, with the help of NewPants0 of course. It's a decently fun bullet-hell, but it kind of occurs to me now that a lot of these random 90's arcade games are equivalent to today's oversaturated field of mobile games.
I've been here since the demo, and I gotta say that this turned out great! The gameplay is way more involved than you'd ever expect, and it stayed fresh and fun until the very end. My boy Arlo did a great job playing Ricky, and my favorite part of the game was just hearing the Muppets yapping hilarious things in the background. This is objectively NOT a cheap mascot-horror game capitalizing on crazy ARGs and lore and baby jump-scares and whatnot. It's a miracle in this day and age, honestly.
I never thought I’d find deep existential conversations boring, but this game is such a nothing sandwich that the most enjoyment I’ve had is speed-running as many achievements as possible while completely disregarding the actual story.
2022
All of the other reviews are about tech stuff, but since I know nothing about all of that, I'll default to the basics:
This is Portal.
Portal is awesome!
This is Portal.
Portal is awesome!
Aw, that was sweet :)
2023
"I'll do mission control this round"
Watches everyone die horribly and doesn't do anything to help
Watches everyone die horribly and doesn't do anything to help
2018
I'm the guy who patches the holes and yells "bail" when I suck at my job.
There are HUNDREDS of games rotting on my backlog, and for some unknown reason, I played LEGO Marvel Super Heroes. I’m supposed to be an adult, why do I keep doing this?? 😭
It looks like I spent 15+ hours perfecting all 60 levels without realizing I completely wasted my only days of relaxation... at least it's over?
DLC Exists
DLC Exists
2022
A surprisingly complicated and well put-together survival game for what might be a game with a $20 budget. It's extremely addictive, but unlike some games, I'm not upset about the game design.
2017
This was the first ever game I downloaded on Steam, and despite a bizarre 400+ hours in the game, I still have no idea how to play it and what I have played is really unfun and janky.
2014
It gets unusually boring REALLY fast, and the achievements insist that you do thousands of runs which is both funny and annoying. The Papers Please reference is tasteful as hell though, and this works as a pretty solid mobile game, so I still respect it.
2021
We've all been sleeping on Unsighted, this game is awesome! I love the Metroid-Vania-ish world, and the combat that's really fun to master! The mechanic of spending your time wisely and choosing who's lifetime to extend adds so much tension to everything you do in the game, to the point that every time you make a mistake or have a setback, it becomes a strong form of motivation to push forward that most games can't capture.
I only lost two friends on my journey, and I was only minutes away from losing several more before I finished the game. The guilt of letting those lives slip through my fingers weighed down on me on the same level as AAA games like RDR2. Unsighted is just REALLY frickin good guys, y'all need to play this!
I only lost two friends on my journey, and I was only minutes away from losing several more before I finished the game. The guilt of letting those lives slip through my fingers weighed down on me on the same level as AAA games like RDR2. Unsighted is just REALLY frickin good guys, y'all need to play this!
2020
I always write a review with the number score, but I can't for the life of me come to say anything about Slapshot: Rebound. It's 6-player PONG with extra steps.
2022
Weirdly, I enjoyed my time with the game, but rating this above a 4/10 seems way too forgiving. The gameplay is unfun chores mixed with mostly unfun arcade machines. There's never enough time to do what you want to do, and the story progression is painfully slow, to the point that I'd be SHOCKED if many people have seen it to completion.
But, I have no hatred for this game. I don't know if it was just the frame of mind I was in at the time, but I liked it enough to play over six hours if that says anything.
But, I have no hatred for this game. I don't know if it was just the frame of mind I was in at the time, but I liked it enough to play over six hours if that says anything.