Whilst I can say that I'm glad another team is taking a crack at making a cod zombies like game (even if their main inspiration is cold war zombies and not the original zombies) I have to sadly be pretty harsh on this.

First off, this game runs like shit. It has awful optimisation and even on performance mode with uncapped frames it barely runs at 30 fps. The "zombies" (more like occultists) function more like killing floor enemies than their cod contemporaries which causes a clash in gameplay between mechanics being similar to cold war but the zombies not being able to be properly utilised. IE Trains. The easter eggs also reduce to some pretty bland steps that reduce to the worst of what cod zombies had while also having quite confusing and visually weird map designs. The perks are also extremely boring compared to their more visually interesting and easy to read counterparts the perks in this game reduce to a small syringe in the wall that gives you a bad RPG-like buff that's something like 5% movement speed. I hope this game irons out some of its more displeasing aspects but I just sadly cannot say you should play this. Shoutout to having a demo that allows people to freely play one of the maps as much as they want.

Harold Halibut is a very technically impressive (when its not bugging out or dropping frames) feat, which unfortunately puts its gorgeous claymation style and cinematography in service of an overwritten, overindulgent miserable slog which might have been refreshing were it a fifth of its length instead of the overbearing wank we got instead.

Wank is the operative word here, the game is spiritually similar to jerking off. It takes inspiration from various sources, wes anderson films chief among them, but from what few films I have seen of those, they were much more entertaining and well written. The sheer nothingness of the gameplay even for narrative focused adventure games and amount of dialogue that was 3 lines too long for what it needed to be really fits together when you learn about the game's 10 year development time. This is someone's baby, presumably a labour of love, but thats the thing, sometimes you need to detach yourself emotionally from your work and cut things when they don't actually add anything. The most damning thing of all, after all that, 8 goddamned hours (it felt twice that) I feel nothing. The game is nothing. I am nothing. We're all nothing. And I have 8 fewer hours now before I return to the nothingness of oblivion with little to show for it.

I replayed Portal, today. Hadn't in quite a few years, and it's a short game, so I thought why not. Short story short, it's a good game, and I like it. Here are some random thoughts.

- It feels underbaked on a replay, almost half of the game is a tutorial and while that's understandable it only truly gets fun in the second half. This isn't a hot take but I'm sure it'd get more interesting if it was even just an hour longer.
- I can't really tell if it feels like the game's trying to force memes at times, or it's just that since they became memes, it retroactively feels like it. Regardless the writing's usually just good enough to get away with it, but there are some moments of cringe.
- I like the few more atmospheric moments, Glados is great but there's something to say about how her always having some dialogue often prevents that vibe from becoming apparent. She's great and I'd never remove her from the game, but it's food for thought.
- The OST is really good. It's not something I remembered at all but Valve is really good at subtly underlining cool moments with their soundtrack.
- I bet that if Portal came out today, we'd be getting a whole wave of yellow paint discourse around it, it's not very subtle with its signposting.
- Suffers slightly from hand-holdy Valve level design, but not nearly as much as the Half-Life 2 games. I only had a few real "ha-ha!" moments, but they were pretty good ones.

I cant believe it, A Game inspired by Getting over it that is actually well made, challenging in a fun way, and requires real skill and practice to beat rather than mastering an incredibly broken and unpredictable physics system? actually so awesome

dont get me wrong, i like bennet foddy's work, but whenever youre playing getting over it, it feels like youre fighting the games controls rather than just controlling your cauldron dude, but this game makes you feel so much more in control and this improves every aspect of it

this game is just as punishing as getting over it, and you will likely rage and die inside, but instead of it feeling unfair cause the broken physics messed you up like in getting over it, every failure feels like YOUR failure, not the game's failure, if you fall, that was your fault, and since it was your fault, it makes you want to overcome your failure, get better, get over the hurdles

basically this game masters challenge and reward in a genre of rage game like this, i fully think this game is much better than getting over it so give it a try if you enjoyed that

Pros:
+ the open world is handcrafted and intriguing from start to end
+ the map is large and much more intricate than expected at first
+ the sky box and day/night cycle are one of the best in gaming
+ feelings of discovery are persistent throughout the game
+ three different modes with plenty of anti-frustration features
+ PDAs are smartly used for creating story crumbs and guiding the player
+ incredible sound design that fits each situation perfectly
+ the visual design of the biomes is distinct and creative
+ great voice acting and good writing
+ movement in water feels smooth and responsive
+ the "gasping for air" mechanic when close to the surface is a great idea
+ scanning mechanic just works and rewards curiosity
+ discovery of new technologies always feels like a step forward
+ lack of lethal violence is a bold but compelling design decision
+ build sequences are mostly transparent and logical
+ not all technologies have to be found or created to finish the game
+ the final sequence of events feels like a true finale to the story

Cons:
- game is buggy: items get lost in the scenery, assets won't load etc.
- quitting and reloading from menu leads to a persistent game-breaking bug
- technical performance is choppy throughout
- enemy AI and animation are generally wonky
- no quick save or auto save option
- no quick reload option from the options menu
- walking on land is tediously slow and janky
- combat is unresponsive and lacks hit feedback
- dying deletes items from the inventory without notice
- reloading a game is usually preferable to dying and losing equipment
- item management is time consuming and generally cumbersome
- new equipment cannot be created with ingredients from storage
- base building is tedious and construction issues are not transparent
- finding blueprints for new items can get annoying
- endgame progression is not always clear

Magic Moments: Too many to count.
Seeing the double moons circling the planet at night for the first time. Following a certain signal to dry land and realising there is so much more to the story than is apparent at first. Entering a mech suit and punching space eels in the face.

Playtime: 30 hours in Freedom mode (without ever using the Cyclops). Platinum trophy unlocked.


Verdict:
Subnautica is more than just a great game: it is an important step in the history of its genre (and a perfect companion piece to one of the greatest games of its generation, Outer Wilds). It offers a unique setting, a rich atmosphere, and most importantly, a constant sense of discovery in a dangerous but beautiful world full of secrets and surprises. In addition to its satisfying gameplay loop and its great audio-visual design, it also tells a surprisingly complex story that slowly but effectively guides players throughout their journey, thereby vastly improving on the mostly bland and generic crop of similar survival games. Moreover, the option to eliminate tedious survival elements like gathering food and water is a welcome one, as is the bold design decision to eschew lethal violence against the animal population. Even though the technical limitations and issues are plentiful and tough to ignore, they are never grievious enough to give up the quest of surviving and ultimately overcoming the trials and tribulations of your temporary home.

So buy the game, strap in and get ready to crash on Planet 4546B, guided only by your own sense of discovery and willingness to explore. The depths are waiting.

Roguelite meets poker meets... the mad urge to try one's luck against the mercilessness of mathematical probabilities. To the wrong players, Balatro may become an addiction - to the right players, it certainly will.

Pros:
+ the simple presentation is perfectly realized
+ the gameplay loop is simple but addicting
+ no knowledge of card games or poker is necessary
+ gameplay is designed to offer various playstyles
+ joker system is a constant battle of risk and reward
+ huge number of jokers allows for plenty of experimentation
+ jokers and consumables can be sold and
+ option to skip fights extends the playstyle choices
+ unlocking new cards is a great motivator
+ challenge mode is a nice palatee cleanser between runs
+ the sole music track somehow manages to never get annoying

Cons:
- the tutorial is barebones and skips important aspects of the game
- joker and boss descriptions are often uninformative
- joker interactions cannot be inferred without trying them out
- higher difficulties are unbeatable without the right jokers
- boss blinds seem to be randomized, leading to unwinnable situations
- some of the bosses are not balanced and can damage a run beyond repair
- not all hands are equally viable for a winning run (straights are not worth it)
- some bugs and technical issue still have to be ironed out

Playtime: 48 hours with almost all decks unlocked but still quite a few difficulty levels to overcome.

Magic Moment: Getting the Egg joker, which periodically increases in sell price, and the Joker that adds the sell value of your jokers to your multiplayer in the first ante. Edging out a win on the final ante with a hail mary discard.

Verdict:
Balatro's deceptively simple look belies a surprisingly complex, satisfying riff on Texas hold 'em poker, combined with the usual rogue-lite chorus of "just one more run". The game constantly calls for meaningful choices that can turn a run on its head, even if the number of viable combinations of poker hands and jokers gets smaller and smaller as the difficulties increase. The challenge mode, however, is a nice addition that extends the possible playstyles even more, at least for players willing to really grind their teeth on the game's inherently frustrating randomness factor and often unclear joker interactions.

In any case, Balatro is a must play for roguelike and card game fans alike, and more proof that simple ideas can make for the best games. Play it, but know what you are getting into.