JimTheSchoolGirl
2010
Played a dodgy copy for a bit but couldn't get my head around the combat and kept getting killed by a giant rabbit.
My dad had this 286 PC with Windows 3.something, and every Sunday we'd wake him up and make him remove config.sys and autoexec.bat so it had enough memory to run Commander Keen. It was fiddly and tough but it felt like a grand adventure and we loved it. Then one evening I put the dust cover on the monitor but forgot to switch it off, and overnight it cooked itself to death. It was a while before there was another PC in the house.
WHEN WHAT USED TO EXCITE YOU DOES NOT, LIKE YOU'VE USED UP ALL YOUR ALLOWANCE OF EXPERIENCE
This is a game about a guy who's bored senseless with everything. The action is hypnotic rather than exciting, the activities in-between are merely ways to pass time. There's every chance you'll get nothing out of this. I thought it was beautiful.
At the start you have to choose a date in November to circle on a calendar, and the game takes place in the couple of weeks running up to that date. My birthday is in November, so I picked that, and you can probably guess what happens when you get there.
Also it's rock hard.
Pick it up if you see it cheap, it's an experience.
This is a game about a guy who's bored senseless with everything. The action is hypnotic rather than exciting, the activities in-between are merely ways to pass time. There's every chance you'll get nothing out of this. I thought it was beautiful.
At the start you have to choose a date in November to circle on a calendar, and the game takes place in the couple of weeks running up to that date. My birthday is in November, so I picked that, and you can probably guess what happens when you get there.
Also it's rock hard.
Pick it up if you see it cheap, it's an experience.
1998
Bunked off college the day I got this, had to uninstall everything else and put all settings on minimum to get my PC to run it. Went through it pretty slowly, partly out of awe and partly out of fear, having a blast all the way up to the Xen bits when I got frustrated and bored. I cheated to finish it, luckily keeping it fun and not abandoning it disappointed.
Sometimes in my dreams I die and it's like in this where you're fixed to the ground but can still look around.
Sometimes in my dreams I die and it's like in this where you're fixed to the ground but can still look around.
2017
A perfect little gem, I will threaten to buy it for you every time it's on sale.
Maybe my all-time favourite score-chaser? It does that Doom 2016 thing of making you constantly push forward, moving and shooting and recharging and making a split-second decision about where to move next. Perfectly paced, easy to read, lovely beeps. Missile heaven.
2018
A weird rampage through a perfectly formed litle world. Magic daft fun.
2016
There's this way that American teens talk in videogames that I just can't be doing with, so I've no idea if this game is any good or not.
Funny, with a bit of a Rhythm Heaven / Warioware vibe to the cutscenes, but the puzzle element doesn't quite work and you just end up frantically mashing. Still enjoyable, but I never felt like I was playing it properly.
I got stuck on the gear-changing racing game bit and threw a strop and sold it.
2019
One of those games my wife wanted to watch me play, and therefore I could only play when she wanted to watch, but then she got distracted by Drag Race or sutin.
Okay so I went back to this and finished it in two twelve-hour sessions, by purely focusing on the main thread, and had a very good time.
There's so much I didn't do, so much text I didn't read, but I honestly don't feel like I missed out. If anything, leaving so many aspects unexplored deepened my appreciation. A bunch of mad shit happened and I don't fully understand it because I was just trying to do my job. Emails pinging back and forth but I can't read them right now, sorry, I'm ziplining.
Been a while since I played something so big and bold and weird and unique. And once I realised that I could easily ignore all the stuff I didn't have time for, I had a great time.
Oh hold on it hasn't finished yet, BRB.
Okay I'm done.
Okay so I went back to this and finished it in two twelve-hour sessions, by purely focusing on the main thread, and had a very good time.
There's so much I didn't do, so much text I didn't read, but I honestly don't feel like I missed out. If anything, leaving so many aspects unexplored deepened my appreciation. A bunch of mad shit happened and I don't fully understand it because I was just trying to do my job. Emails pinging back and forth but I can't read them right now, sorry, I'm ziplining.
Been a while since I played something so big and bold and weird and unique. And once I realised that I could easily ignore all the stuff I didn't have time for, I had a great time.
Oh hold on it hasn't finished yet, BRB.
Okay I'm done.
2013
Really enjoyed this for a while, then I got obsessed with doing Impossible Ironman and had an actual mental breakdown
Shat it at the brightness adjustment screen and turned it off
2019
Doesn't quite replace the original because you can no longer fuck yourself over in the second run by being greedy in the first, and also because I had to pay a few quid for the old music instead of it just being a nice unlockable bonus. Otherwise excellent.
1989
Fond memories of making the batman do a funny walk facing towards me while I sang a little "do do-do" fanfare