I've completed three or four randomizers of this game. I've lost count. Every time, there are two specific moments which I audibly say "oh fuck this game" out loud - it's either getting lost in Aquatic Mine (conveniently available as a first stage at least 2-3 times now), or it's when I have Shadow dramatically ramp off the first jump in Sky Rail, off the stage, into the kill plane, while the Chao Kindergarten music is playing, as Omochao starts talking about mating rituals, and Shadow reaches mach 5 to his death. Somewhere in the middle of this journey, my objections melt away as I figure out why the supposed boundaries of the game don't matter - I accidentally clip through a wall and realize I can use this knowledge to skip the Flame Ring. (Outer Wilds?? eat your fucking heart out???) A bunch of Chao drown themselves across a pond to the climatic Live and Learn, like their life depends on it. It does. By the end I'm on the verge of tears as Sonic says his heartfelt goodbye to Shadow: "NEED MORE MEMORY, BUD!"

What I'm saying is - even if you take this anxious mess of emblematic (ha!) 00's angst, cut it into scissors, smear a glue stick against a wall, chuck the pieces at it, then shoot an entire bottle of ketchup across it while blasting Jamiroquai, DMX, Pendulum, Streetlight Manifesto, and Foo Fighters all at the same time inside a moving car, it never crashes! You come out of it with a pending arrest warrant, but I swear it still ends up worth it and ready to go again. I don't know why! There's just something here, man. Something special.

The level design is so slapshot. Have you ever stopped running in the middle of the speed levels and looked at a broad view of what they... do? They're linear, and there are these big dash pads that they tell you to go this way, and the second you walk around one you look around and tell yourself "what the FUCK were they thinking?" Then the game suddenly jets Sonic in some direction because you happened upon the middle of some half-scripted segment, and the game asks you, "what the FUCK were you thinking?" But they probably realized people were doing this, so they made it non-linear by putting STUFF right in those sections. Instead of just moving along, eventually you're constantly looking for the places it fucks up! Guess what? There's SHIT there! Every time. There's a life! There's a lost Chao!! There's a fucking upgrade!!! There's a pipe in outer space and you whistle at it and a skunk pops out. God dammit. Brilliant.

This game is a pile of confetti ideas, and it's best every time you throw it up in the air and ignore the complete mess it makes. Suddenly you forget how the walker missions aren't designed around anything, and the emerald stages are horribly winding messes by choice, and the speed missions are designed around psychically predicting you'll be holding the analog stick in a particular direction even though the camera has no vestibular system, and that this jank is all desperately held together by tamogachis and kart racing. The aesthetic does a Weekend at Bernie's on the gameplay. The misplaced mix of edge and "what if we all just got along........." optimism shoots it through the fuckin door and into the horizon. It's incredible. I think about how much this game sucks every time I play it. By the end I'm laughing or crying. I can't tell which. I never care.

No one makes five different functional video games in one with umpteen different music directions starring an edgy antihero against jarring heavily-contrasted rainbow palettes. Why? Because it's stupid. And I love this stupid, stupid game so much.

This is the best implementation of mid-00's aesthetic - that mix of gritty, earthy, dark greens/blues/oranges and steel-neon cities out of a frutiger aero background. It whizzes by at 700 MPH, and it feels like it. It goes for pseudo-realism and it still looks good two decades later. How does it do it? The story mode is balls-disgusting hard, but with such quick hooks objectives and ever-teasing, escalating difficulties - you can't get through that door? that one boulder is gonna make you stop playing? - it dangles the carrot so well. Great fuckin soundtrack, and there's more than one person I know who got into electronic or ambient music from this. The characters are so distinctly goofy sci-fi, and they don't need to be there or fleshed out like they are, yet they are! And then there's the astronomically-high skill ceiling that's fun to watch, and fun to just graze every now and then with an absolutely perfect slide or snake before you absolutely eat shit off the track like Icarus. Anyone of any skill level can at least enjoy it.

I've been trying to stick all my five star rated games with some kinda commentary, but what is there to add here? Go play it! It speaks for itself. It's so effortlessly cool, such a tightly built game with grand feel, few flaws, and zero friction between it and its experience - just a raw test of skill, and people still keep pushing its limits year by year.

The ending arc is as jarring as everyone understandably criticizes it, but any narrative hangups I have are completely numbed by how good the mouthfeel, aesthetic, Bildungsroman, and little details are.

Every now and then I remember an apocryphal story I read somewhere about someone leaving Pixar's Coco down south when they saw an old granny crying "it's true! It's all true!" in Spanish as she exited the theater. That was me, but instead I exited this game crying over how beautifully it nailed the feel of rust belt PA. (Pretend I was screaming "yinz! yinz!" for full effect)

hey sephylover, i'm playing neon white. it's so sick, it's fast and you have a katana! and the characters are just like us, there's a girl that's cool and cuts her hair short like you do. it even has the guy who's tom from toonami. you should play it! it's rated t so your mom probably would let you play it. the characters say like f&#% and stuff so don't play it too loud lol. i wish we were near each other and not like 600 miles away, then you could just borrow it from me.

the music is so good too. it like, haunts me like a ghost stuck in my head all day lol. it's like techno, but like four times faster. wish i knew where to get more of that. (killerklutz told me to look up pendulum on limewire? is that a song?) if you wanna listen to the soundtrack you can download all the music from khinsider or i can message a rapidshare link to you or email or whatever. just make sure to delete it after 24 hours or it's illegal ;)

do you have AIM btw?

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I showed this game to my wife and I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm straight-up addicted to video poker.

This feels like it's missing an x-factor. StS or BoI have this feeling like anything could happen at any time dozens of runs in, and at least so far it feels like the Joker design could have got a little more zany to keep runs fresh or introduce brand new mechanics. They really just revolve around number crunching, and it gets a bit repetitive. Talking it over with a (math major) friend it sounds like the high card strategies are a little one-sided and really the only way to certain success. Standard card packs also suck. It definitely needs some balance tweaking, but as-is the (math major) crunch is still pretty fun. Plus the aesthetic is great. I can't believe the one song is so - wait, am I straight-up addicted to video poker?