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This review contains spoilers

Rebirth has a pretty herculean task, which is adapting the part of FFVII I am most rose-tinted on. That being the post-Midgar section of Disc 1. As a kid, I’d played this part the most on replays, but my attention span led to many a run being culled around some point here. Rebirth really nails the whimsy of being thrust into VII’s world as a kid, and I think its scale encapsulates it so nicely, and I absolutely appreciate its gameplay loop. You’re not forced to engage with non-story aspects, but they’re far higher quality than the ones in Remake, and often serve as great world building and excuses to see the world. Characterization and portrayals continue to be magnificent as does the use of compendium content. I’ll say I wish Vincent got more chemistry with the party, as how he’s handled feels in stark contrast to Remake making Red XIII fit so naturally in the last two chapters. It’s a shame, as Yuffie went from optional in the original game to such a core of the party dynamic here. I think gameplay is far more refined as well, with the new synergy skill system being a fun way of juggling ATB and party combos, and the new additions of Red XIII and Cait Sith being very welcome. Now, I’ll say that this game isn’t perfect with some technical stuff. Coming off of Remake’s 60 FPS on the PS5, it’s initially jarring to be put in 30 FPS and get told to settle with either 30 FPS and better graphic, or deal with pretty blurry visuals with 60 FPS. I adjusted to the 30 rather quickly, since it’s what Remake was designed around on PS4, and advise you do the same, but it’s still noteworthy. Also some texture pop in is real. Most notably I saw it in the Mythril Mines, and it took me out a bit. I will say that this game has also made me retroactively grow to love the Whispers as a concept, generally? The idea that they’re a part of the Planet’s defense systems, and Sephiroth tricked us into sabotaging them in Remake is extremely intriguing, with a faction now benefitting him. The ending of the game has a lot that will probably have to be elaborated upon, but I think the idea that the lifestream contains a multiverse of sorts is not too far of a reach given its capabilities to rejuvenate the mind? May just be me though. A story grievance I do have though, is changing the resolution to the Dyne plot point. Dyne choosing to kill himself because he can’t live with the monster he’s become is a haunting moment of the original, and Rebirth plays the depths of his delusion so well… until it doesn’t. Him being killed in a firefight, dying vindictive toward Barret, doesn’t really hit for me, at all. And that’s a damn shame when so much else of this game does. It sticks out when such a strong arc loses footing at the tail end. But I digress. Parts which were optional in the original, but now are mandatory, like Gongaga, are damn fantastic. The reimagining of this world has gone above and beyond, and I can’t wait to jump into it. If you ask me objectively, the tech issues make this a 4.5, even if they aren’t at all egregious. But, this is my review. I am suffering a hyperfixation from when I was 14 reviving when I was 22. So fuck you, it’s a 5/5. Also, amazing how these devs got even better at queerbaiting with Aerti and filling every Cloud and Sephiroth scene with sexual tension. Bravo.
Edit. Forgot to mention just how much in here is designed to make you soypoint. The amount of things that feed some aspect of the compilation, or just build on characters who were doing jack in the original is really something. Elena and Tseng went from having no fights in the original, with Tseng literally being seen as dead by English speaking audiences due to mistranslations, to Elena getting 3 and Tseng getting the best damn boss theme in the game.

nintendo made a kaizo hack of their own game and charged full price for it and I somehow don't think it's the worst thing ever

I won't be telling you that japanese smb2 is some underappreciated or overhated hidden gem like other nes sequels but I will tell you that it's actually really, really funny. It just has this level of personality to it, like no other game of its time had the audacity to make you wait out a level timer or intentionally throw yourself into a pit to avoid being sent back to the very start of the game. Smb2 was always supposed to be "for experts". The devs weren't just doing this to arbitrarily extend playtime, they did this to troll people, and they probably thought it was funny too. It makes the lost levels, to me, a microcosm of a time where game development wasn't just a job, it was also hobby - it was more personal. I think this game is actually kinda awesome for being less curated, more bullshit and not well designed, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

stockholm syndrome the video game. I made an initial review last night about how bad the level design gets after around stage 6 and how it's the opposite of the lost levels in the sense that it's a far more ambitious game that lacks infinite continues and was made difficult with the purpose of making the player spend more time. so naturally i spent the next day practicing levels and strategies and by god i was able to do it and I'm able to see more of the positives in it.

i beat it without savestates or warps so i have full bragging rights but i will say this game is really, really fucking addictive. disgustingly so, probably because it actually plays so well when you aren't losing lives as quickly the depreciation of Yen, and the variety, general game feel, satisfying sound design and player feedback are all so good. so good that it carries the game's (still imo even after beating it) terrible level design in its latter half. it's creative and it's rewarding to master but i've never played another nes game with so many hazards and so much bullshit that you'll need to pause buffer or have played stages upwards of 3 times to reliably commit to memory. the lifebar is basically a lie because almost everything after stage 2 either kills you in 1 or 2 hits and you NEED to know how to effectively and safely deal with them. it's a shame so many people dropped it and weren't able to beat the turbo tunnel because that honestly wound up being my favourite level and I think it's at least worth seeing some of the stuff rare pulled off since it's incredibly creative and impressive for the nes.

because all of this i highly recommend playing the japanese version instead. rare actually realised they made the game too difficult and ironically made that version easier. i tried just a few levels just for the sake of comparison and I can attest to that, even the turbo tunnel, and that's for the better. maybe it was a good thing that blockbuster went down under considering how many games were made harder for western audiences JUST so that people couldn't beat them with a single rental or so that they had to actually buy it. it also proves that games back then weren't just made harder for the west when brought overseas, they'd be harder no matter what.

I have no clue if this is still the last bastion of our culture war or if it’s too woke now so I’m giving it a 5/10 to average those two possibilities out

Basic bitch cliff notes understanding of the most mainstream psychologists and philosophers possible. Dan Hentschel says more about psychology than this garbage.

This review contains spoilers

This was a Stranger of Paradise prequel the whole time???

I've come to realize that I've been way too harsh on this game and so I decided to give it another chance. I played it again in the context of the ironman challenge, a self imposed ruleset among Fire Emblem fans where resetting is completely banned. This challenge is, in my humble opinion, the most enjoyable way to play Fire Emblem if you have enough experience with the series, as it forces you to engage with permadeath in away that playing vanilla doesn't and also because the lack of resetting just inherently causes the game to be paced better. This is the most charitable set of conditions I could have played the game in. So what do I think of it now?
It still fucking sucks lmao

It's actually a common misconception that this is a video game because it's instead a list of bullet points on what your new personality is going to be.

I hate that I can't type in Mother for the name here.

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