the monster clambering out of his little cove is what your mom pictures when dinner is ready

playing this game makes me feel like anton ego when he eats the ratatouille

if MOM and BUD really played tic-tac-toe 12,046 times or whatever the number was, theres no way BUD wouldnt get a single win. tic-tac-toe is not a particularly skill-dependent game, so unless BUD was actively sabotaging himself 12,046 times it is impossible that he would not blunder his way into at least a few wins. its called Infinite Monkey Theorem, MOM, look it up. anyway this game controls like shit

love it when those lil mfs go hup hep hip hep hup

a hundred hours too long and also bad, but pretty funny in co op and Jake’s campaign was genuinely pretty quality and should have been the entire focus of this game. definitely deserves the hate doe

so what happened to cloud and tifa? i thought this was supposed to be final fantasy

i was terrified this whole game that Zaeed was gonna offer me a bon bon

this is the game that breath of the wild was a tech demo for

2022

if playdead’s next game has more than one word in the title im gonna be so pissed

really doesnt do anything to improve the original's gameplay (i.e. the combat still feels muddy, especially compared to Sekiro) and also really fails under scrutiny when later sections resort to hardcore aggressive enemy spam that tests the player on how efficiently they can use their force currency to insta-kill enemies rather than actually engage with combat. it adds stuff, but its more facetious fluff than meaningful evolutions of the gameplay.

the metroidvania structure of the original is mostly thrown aside in favor of a more generic open world with side quests and fewer key abilities. it still maintains the facade, but the focus is definitely on being "big," the opposite of where the genre thrives.

story-wise its about as schlocky as the original, although somehow feels more self-serious. the drama still falls completely flat and includes more of it thanks to the naughty-dog-esque "slowly follow behind somebody while they mumble at you" sections during the massive walks between objectives. however, to a lesser extent than the original granted, it still is very much capable of that star wars shlock with insane plot twists and cool displays of force abilities. watching cal use sith abilities on someone because hes pissed about a recent plot twist is awesome, listening to him mumble to his girlfriend about nothing is not. one of those is much more prevalent than the other.

the reason im being so harsh, even though i do ultimately like the game, is because its a sequel to a star wars game. i dont feel like any leeway is granted in something so safe as that, and for it to take so few risks or even improve in any meaningful way makes me inclined to treat it a little more harshly. honestly, as an aside, so much about this game reminds of God of War Ragnarok which i had damn near the exact same feelings about.

heres the review: if you liked fallen order, youll like this. just dont expect to be excited by it.

that extends to the fact there are still ZERO circle wipes in a DAMN STAR WARS GAME

2010

i remember when “generic” indie games looked like this, take me back