NightmareModeGo
BACKER
1997
It's wild going back to this when you're no longer 8 years old with cheats on simply blowing shit to pieces and running people over, and trying to just play it properly.
You're expected to traverse the city pretty quickly most of the time, but the roads and traffic combined with the camera are so dogshit that it feels impossible to drive at decent speed for more than five seconds before slamming into other cars or near invisible geometry. There's so much less here than I seem to remember.
I'm a bit angry at how much time young me put into this. You could've been playing Klonoa, idiot.
You're expected to traverse the city pretty quickly most of the time, but the roads and traffic combined with the camera are so dogshit that it feels impossible to drive at decent speed for more than five seconds before slamming into other cars or near invisible geometry. There's so much less here than I seem to remember.
I'm a bit angry at how much time young me put into this. You could've been playing Klonoa, idiot.
Nothing screams Silent Hill like running through a maze of sticky notes with "UGLY" and "DUMB IDIOT" scrawled on them over and over again, chased by some insta-kill enemy.
This is pretty much every first-person PC indie horror game you've played a thousand times before, but if they managed to sell it to Konami.
This is pretty much every first-person PC indie horror game you've played a thousand times before, but if they managed to sell it to Konami.
I'm 33, and these 12-year-olds are clowning me.
My hands simply do not work that way.
My hands simply do not work that way.
I gave it a good fifteen hours but was bored. It's not terrible or anything, there's just nothing that feels new or interesting for me.
Feels like another game that's a variation on the same open-world "narrative epic" I've played a thousand times before. Picking shit up and crafting. Pinging my radar thing to find items, climbing big shit to unlock map stuff. Repeat.
No thank you.
Feels like another game that's a variation on the same open-world "narrative epic" I've played a thousand times before. Picking shit up and crafting. Pinging my radar thing to find items, climbing big shit to unlock map stuff. Repeat.
No thank you.
2002
Better than most shit that's been released in the last 10 years.
A game can simply be cool and funny and weird.
MEGA MEGA MEGA
A game can simply be cool and funny and weird.
MEGA MEGA MEGA
Not to cause any alarms or surprises, or come across like a creep, but this was just fine. Just an awrite thing. Please don't send the karma police after me.
I only know three Radiohead songs.
I only know three Radiohead songs.
2008
Playing again fourteen years later, and while still a very chill game, I'm too different to eighteen year old me to get what he did out of it back then.
The patter has aged poorly, and just grates. Quippy MCU dude in ancient Persia doing his wee jokes is just poison to me now after over a decade of getting blasted in the face with it.
This isn't a "SHIT GAME, I ABANDON THEE" thing. It's more like calmly putting it back in its case and sliding it onto the shelf while going "It's fine. I'm a different fella now".
Old me can still enjoy it. Good for him.
The patter has aged poorly, and just grates. Quippy MCU dude in ancient Persia doing his wee jokes is just poison to me now after over a decade of getting blasted in the face with it.
This isn't a "SHIT GAME, I ABANDON THEE" thing. It's more like calmly putting it back in its case and sliding it onto the shelf while going "It's fine. I'm a different fella now".
Old me can still enjoy it. Good for him.
1991
Dracula: "Why do I hear Vampire Killer?"
Jasper Byrne turning a big dial taht says "effects overlays" on it and constantly looking back at the audience for approval like a contestant on the price is right
2021
I'm left wondering if some of the patter I've seen surrounding this is from folk who actually finished the game, or are just doing that internet thing of parroting what someone they like said about it.
Seen some visceral reactions to its poor handling of the subject, but I never felt anything other than bored of it all. I think the way I had heard the game discussed meant I was waiting for some truly wild transgressive shit that just isnae really there for me. But then none of it applies to my life so I can only speak from this position.
Never did I get the impression that they were saying trauma cannot be overcome and so you must die. I do think there is space for stories that touch upon the very real fact that some people can never get through a horrible thing that happened to them. There are endless cases of it that many of us will be far too familiar with, but Blooby Squad are absolutely not the folk to be doing it.
Seen some visceral reactions to its poor handling of the subject, but I never felt anything other than bored of it all. I think the way I had heard the game discussed meant I was waiting for some truly wild transgressive shit that just isnae really there for me. But then none of it applies to my life so I can only speak from this position.
Never did I get the impression that they were saying trauma cannot be overcome and so you must die. I do think there is space for stories that touch upon the very real fact that some people can never get through a horrible thing that happened to them. There are endless cases of it that many of us will be far too familiar with, but Blooby Squad are absolutely not the folk to be doing it.
PS3 game (derogatory).
2021
What a weird mixed bag this is. Might be the best Samus has ever felt in 2D, but it's in a world that made my eyes kinda glaze over. Probably a bad sign when the old games with literal boxes connected to each other making up rooms felt more like a place you were, and not just a backdrop you happened to be in front of. It was as if the more detail in an area, the less I noticed it. I don't know.
Lovely improvements on the moment to moment stuff Samus Returns laid down, and a wee change up to the order you expect to get powers in was nice, but general traversal felt like much more of a chore than it ever has, even with the mobility improvements. Maybe it's just me, or how I was feeling at the time, but the world in general here feels like it was designed to slow you down. Not in a challenging way, but more via obtuse layouts that came across as slap dash rather than having any purpose, or feeling like anyone once inhabited these spaces. The EMMI rooms were especially bad for this.
From the first announcement I ignored all the marketing, and the million trailers Ninty put out. So it may be my own fault for not wanting spoiled on stuff, but I truly expected the EMMI to play a bigger part, and have more free-roaming and scripted sequences like SA-X in Fusion. Not confined to specific rooms you can freely dip in and out of. Just a bit of a let down in that regard, especially because every interaction with them feels separate from the rest of the game. Switching modes, and not in a good way. I remember deciding to start clearing the areas and getting all the missed pickups as I could tell I was nearing the end, and at some point while looking at the map I saw the wee bit saying Remaining EMMI: 2/7 and I went "Oh shit aye, The EMMI" out loud. They essentially left my mind whenever I wasn't in one of their designated areas.
Now you might have gotten this far and thought "Guy, there are three and a half stars up there. That's a seven. What the fuck are you playing at?", and I wish I knew. Despite all the shite I've scrawled above, I had a brilliant time. The story is nonsense, I never played Other M so the ADAM shit means nothing to me, and an info dump at the end made me laugh and swear at the game, but at no point was I actually having a bad time. Samus is confident as hell, and with skills to back it up. She has that rep for a reason, and it's on full display. She clowns bosses and it feels incredible. I lost count of the amount of times I was shooting missiles during a scripted sequence and thinking "SHE IS SO COOL!".
She 𝘪𝘴 so cool.
Lovely improvements on the moment to moment stuff Samus Returns laid down, and a wee change up to the order you expect to get powers in was nice, but general traversal felt like much more of a chore than it ever has, even with the mobility improvements. Maybe it's just me, or how I was feeling at the time, but the world in general here feels like it was designed to slow you down. Not in a challenging way, but more via obtuse layouts that came across as slap dash rather than having any purpose, or feeling like anyone once inhabited these spaces. The EMMI rooms were especially bad for this.
From the first announcement I ignored all the marketing, and the million trailers Ninty put out. So it may be my own fault for not wanting spoiled on stuff, but I truly expected the EMMI to play a bigger part, and have more free-roaming and scripted sequences like SA-X in Fusion. Not confined to specific rooms you can freely dip in and out of. Just a bit of a let down in that regard, especially because every interaction with them feels separate from the rest of the game. Switching modes, and not in a good way. I remember deciding to start clearing the areas and getting all the missed pickups as I could tell I was nearing the end, and at some point while looking at the map I saw the wee bit saying Remaining EMMI: 2/7 and I went "Oh shit aye, The EMMI" out loud. They essentially left my mind whenever I wasn't in one of their designated areas.
Now you might have gotten this far and thought "Guy, there are three and a half stars up there. That's a seven. What the fuck are you playing at?", and I wish I knew. Despite all the shite I've scrawled above, I had a brilliant time. The story is nonsense, I never played Other M so the ADAM shit means nothing to me, and an info dump at the end made me laugh and swear at the game, but at no point was I actually having a bad time. Samus is confident as hell, and with skills to back it up. She has that rep for a reason, and it's on full display. She clowns bosses and it feels incredible. I lost count of the amount of times I was shooting missiles during a scripted sequence and thinking "SHE IS SO COOL!".
She 𝘪𝘴 so cool.
2003
PS4 version is a buggy mess. PC version isn't much better but has good fan fixes.
Shelving it for now because even with all the fixes in place, in fullscreen mode the cursor moves into my second monitor and I keep trying to stab a dude in the throat but end up opening a picture of tits or something on tweetdeck.
Shelving it for now because even with all the fixes in place, in fullscreen mode the cursor moves into my second monitor and I keep trying to stab a dude in the throat but end up opening a picture of tits or something on tweetdeck.
2022
A lot of you have never played Gungrave (or watched the brilliant anime) and it shows.
The Gunslinger of Resurrection is back! In my reviews for the VR Gungrave games I mentioned how it felt like Iggymob understood Gungrave but were kinda tied to the VR thing stopping them getting all the way there. This is them getting there. Whether on purpose (of course not) or simply from being a small studio who prior to getting the GG license had only made a terrible WW2 dogfighting game, they've nailed what GG is about. It's about shooting a million dudes. It's about swinging the coffin chained to your arms. It's about transforming said coffin into wild weapons to dish out massive destruction. It's about wondering whether anyone involed in the development has ever heard the word "balance". The PS2 lives on.
But to be serious for a moment, I get why folk hate this. I even get why fans of the original hate it. There's clearly going to be expectations when old games you like in spite of themselves get modern sequels. You hope for the same feeling but in a prettier package. Polished and dolled up. Controls tightened, an all round smoothed out experience. But that isn't to be found here, and folk are right to be disappointed.
Luckily I tempered my expectations heavily and got just the kinda shit I was after. Dodgy voice acting, even dodgier cutscenes. Poor dialogue and grammar. Bunji turning up again because he's so fuckin' cool, new characters that get zero introduction but are supposed to be cared about. It's a mess, and a beautiful one at that. I think I care about Gungrave more than most folk because a single line in this thing put tears in my eyes.
KICK THEIR ASS
The Gunslinger of Resurrection is back! In my reviews for the VR Gungrave games I mentioned how it felt like Iggymob understood Gungrave but were kinda tied to the VR thing stopping them getting all the way there. This is them getting there. Whether on purpose (of course not) or simply from being a small studio who prior to getting the GG license had only made a terrible WW2 dogfighting game, they've nailed what GG is about. It's about shooting a million dudes. It's about swinging the coffin chained to your arms. It's about transforming said coffin into wild weapons to dish out massive destruction. It's about wondering whether anyone involed in the development has ever heard the word "balance". The PS2 lives on.
But to be serious for a moment, I get why folk hate this. I even get why fans of the original hate it. There's clearly going to be expectations when old games you like in spite of themselves get modern sequels. You hope for the same feeling but in a prettier package. Polished and dolled up. Controls tightened, an all round smoothed out experience. But that isn't to be found here, and folk are right to be disappointed.
Luckily I tempered my expectations heavily and got just the kinda shit I was after. Dodgy voice acting, even dodgier cutscenes. Poor dialogue and grammar. Bunji turning up again because he's so fuckin' cool, new characters that get zero introduction but are supposed to be cared about. It's a mess, and a beautiful one at that. I think I care about Gungrave more than most folk because a single line in this thing put tears in my eyes.
KICK THEIR ASS
Like strapping joy onto your face. This is what VR is all about.
There's been a lot of "Sony's Mario" chat thrown around about this, and it's honestly hard to argue with that. But I've not had this kinda fun with a Mario game in some time. There's a real proper feeling of immersion. I kept pointing at stuff expecting my hand to come into view. Instinctually going to hold my breath as water rose up past my chin. It sounds ridiculous, but you truly get lost in there.
Just you and yer wee pal, exploring worlds, rescuing lost bots, punching enemies, headbutting footballs back at them. Using shuriken to solve puzzles, smashing a giant robot ape's teeth to bits. It's gold, and the kinda thing that feels like proof of what VR can be beyond the gimmick most folk assume.
There's been a lot of "Sony's Mario" chat thrown around about this, and it's honestly hard to argue with that. But I've not had this kinda fun with a Mario game in some time. There's a real proper feeling of immersion. I kept pointing at stuff expecting my hand to come into view. Instinctually going to hold my breath as water rose up past my chin. It sounds ridiculous, but you truly get lost in there.
Just you and yer wee pal, exploring worlds, rescuing lost bots, punching enemies, headbutting footballs back at them. Using shuriken to solve puzzles, smashing a giant robot ape's teeth to bits. It's gold, and the kinda thing that feels like proof of what VR can be beyond the gimmick most folk assume.