PATTERNSCREAMER
2018
i've never really been super into boomer shooters but dusk is a rootin tootin good time. short, fairly simple by modern standards, but still feels great to play.
i LOVED the movement in this one. zipping around at a million miles and hour and firing off rivets is 10/10, as does quickly forcing your way through tighter levels with the shotgun. there's definitely a bit of variance in how much i liked each weapon (hunting rifle and super shotgun felt way better than the crossbow, for example, but the latter still saw plenty of use), but i guess that's to be expected. and while not every level is a winner (most of the early ones are REALLY slow), there's a ton that i loved. whether it's picking off enemies from afar or juggling 5 different wendigos, dusk has a ton of great moments.
i didn't really have many issues with this one, other than getting used to the weird save menu (which is mostly just me being stupid) and how secrets are mostly just tiny ammo stashes and usually not worth the effort of seeking them out. also i didn't realize there was a weapon wheel until the last level of the game, nor did i realize that morale was your armor until just a minute ago. whoops! big dummy moments lol
definitely not the best shooter i've played, but not bad by any means. the little frog dudes are very scary though :(
i LOVED the movement in this one. zipping around at a million miles and hour and firing off rivets is 10/10, as does quickly forcing your way through tighter levels with the shotgun. there's definitely a bit of variance in how much i liked each weapon (hunting rifle and super shotgun felt way better than the crossbow, for example, but the latter still saw plenty of use), but i guess that's to be expected. and while not every level is a winner (most of the early ones are REALLY slow), there's a ton that i loved. whether it's picking off enemies from afar or juggling 5 different wendigos, dusk has a ton of great moments.
i didn't really have many issues with this one, other than getting used to the weird save menu (which is mostly just me being stupid) and how secrets are mostly just tiny ammo stashes and usually not worth the effort of seeking them out. also i didn't realize there was a weapon wheel until the last level of the game, nor did i realize that morale was your armor until just a minute ago. whoops! big dummy moments lol
definitely not the best shooter i've played, but not bad by any means. the little frog dudes are very scary though :(
ufo is fucking DOGSHIT dude. easily the worst gimmick they've ever added to touhou - having to take massive risks to gather ufos just to get bombs/lives feels absolutely terrible, especially when you have to juggle the ones that switch colors while you're already trying to avoid everything. nothing about this one feels fun.
on top of that, idk if its just me being a wuss but what the hell is up with some of these bosses? shou and byakuren were so absurdly frustrating that i wanted to light myself on fire - i've never had this much trouble with this franchise before. sure, there were a few that were satisfying difficulty-wise (murasa was very funny) but damn!!! this one didn't feel good to play or satisfying to improve in. i think i'd recommend literally any PC entry over this pile of shit. i'm very glad to finally be done with this one.
on top of that, idk if its just me being a wuss but what the hell is up with some of these bosses? shou and byakuren were so absurdly frustrating that i wanted to light myself on fire - i've never had this much trouble with this franchise before. sure, there were a few that were satisfying difficulty-wise (murasa was very funny) but damn!!! this one didn't feel good to play or satisfying to improve in. i think i'd recommend literally any PC entry over this pile of shit. i'm very glad to finally be done with this one.
2016
short, sweet, and rad as hell. takes its absurdly simple gimmick and stretches it as far as it'll go, forcing you to try all kinds of creative bullshit to get through each level. the later levels were absolutely perfect - this one almost feels like a puzzle shooter in a way, with just how many different ways there are to tackle the impossible scenario they lay out with each level. not to mention the hotswitching mechanic they introduce is absolutely insane, though i wish i got to see a bit more of it since they introduce it pretty late.
i thought the story was alright too, probably about as good as a game of this length could possibly have. definitely doesn't overstay its welcome - it does what it wants to do, dumps endless mode in your lap and tells you to fuck off. bellissimo baby. i feel like reading into this one too deeply (or from a lens of "video game bad") is doing it a bit of a disservice, like what they gave us was fine. nothing revolutionary, but added a good bit to the game.
great aesthetic, perfect difficulty, listen to the funny phrase and play the god damn game already.
i thought the story was alright too, probably about as good as a game of this length could possibly have. definitely doesn't overstay its welcome - it does what it wants to do, dumps endless mode in your lap and tells you to fuck off. bellissimo baby. i feel like reading into this one too deeply (or from a lens of "video game bad") is doing it a bit of a disservice, like what they gave us was fine. nothing revolutionary, but added a good bit to the game.
great aesthetic, perfect difficulty, listen to the funny phrase and play the god damn game already.
2017
i'm a decent fan of 3D platformers, but i really don't know about this one. other than its decent sense of humor, there isn't anything it does particularly well. movement feels fine but precise jumps feel like shit, switching hats/badges feel like a half baked and weirdly implemented idea, and only half of the worlds feel like they were made with 3d platforming in mind.
there are definitely parts i liked, though - going through the different levels in alpine skyline were fun, until i had to backtrack a billion times through them all again. and in the sea of boring ass levels in dead bird studios, the train bomb mission was fine.
i think this one would have benefited more with more free-roaming levels, or at least something more in line with the platformers it's inspired by (ie less stupid ass linear stealth levels). i dunno! this one's weird! it's got silly jokes and good voice acting but i don't feel real strongly about it. maybe they learned their lession in the dlc but it didn't grab me enough for me to want more.
there are definitely parts i liked, though - going through the different levels in alpine skyline were fun, until i had to backtrack a billion times through them all again. and in the sea of boring ass levels in dead bird studios, the train bomb mission was fine.
i think this one would have benefited more with more free-roaming levels, or at least something more in line with the platformers it's inspired by (ie less stupid ass linear stealth levels). i dunno! this one's weird! it's got silly jokes and good voice acting but i don't feel real strongly about it. maybe they learned their lession in the dlc but it didn't grab me enough for me to want more.
i think this is one of the only touhou games with a gimmick that i hated. divine spirits really don't do anything but make the game worse - like its a massive gamble (and takes forever) to get more lives and bombs. plus trance mode is really shitty, and the game feels really easy overall. none of the bosses hit either, shit just doesn't feel great.
it's still funny shoot game, there really just isn't anything that this one does that other games don't do better.
it's still funny shoot game, there really just isn't anything that this one does that other games don't do better.
day three of using my expensive ass new pc to do nothing but play touhou
damn this shit was fire. i absolutely LOVED the bosses in this one - while MoF's ranged from decent to frustrating, they're all more or less winners here. even though there are some insane gimmicks that are hard to deal with depending on what shot type you have, it's still a really fun time. the difficulty is pretty insane too, but they practically shower you in extra lives so it ends up balancing out.
unfortunately a lot of the shot types aren't as fun to use as the other games, and some spell cards do feel like total horseshit. but overall i had a great time with this one.
damn this shit was fire. i absolutely LOVED the bosses in this one - while MoF's ranged from decent to frustrating, they're all more or less winners here. even though there are some insane gimmicks that are hard to deal with depending on what shot type you have, it's still a really fun time. the difficulty is pretty insane too, but they practically shower you in extra lives so it ends up balancing out.
unfortunately a lot of the shot types aren't as fun to use as the other games, and some spell cards do feel like total horseshit. but overall i had a great time with this one.
going from MoF to this was some serious whiplash. now i have so many anime women to choose from! now there's different stage bosses! there's like a time/hour system and youkai meter that doesn't make any sense, but i didn't really care too much cause this game wasn't too hard.
it IS cool though. like the long-ass reimu/marisa fight alone brings this up to 4 stars, and the variety of characters is pretty sick too. overall it's a lot meatier of a game than other touhous (if that makes sense), and has the unique boss fights and gimmicks to back it up. i'm definitely not resilient enough to sink 500 hours into it to beat it on lunatic, but i really enjoyed this one.
it IS cool though. like the long-ass reimu/marisa fight alone brings this up to 4 stars, and the variety of characters is pretty sick too. overall it's a lot meatier of a game than other touhous (if that makes sense), and has the unique boss fights and gimmicks to back it up. i'm definitely not resilient enough to sink 500 hours into it to beat it on lunatic, but i really enjoyed this one.
in terms of touhou games, this one is pretty simple. no UFOs, no crazy ass gimmicks, and nothing too horrendous difficulty-wise until kanako comes along and tells you to fucking die. out of all the 2hu ive played this one is probably the coziest and the easiest to do well in, imo. probably has my favorite boss cast too, even though that probably isn't saying much.
im probably not the best authority to listen to when it comes to this game (i cant do shit past easy mode. go ahead and point and laugh), but i enjoyed this one for what it was. i liked the atmosphere, i liked the boss themes, i liked the nitori, simple as.
im probably not the best authority to listen to when it comes to this game (i cant do shit past easy mode. go ahead and point and laugh), but i enjoyed this one for what it was. i liked the atmosphere, i liked the boss themes, i liked the nitori, simple as.
2018
my hungry ass could NOT seek power 😂
itchio games you get in a bundle whenever some awful world event happens are where you're gonna see some of your purest, most distilled examples of solo indie devs doing whatever the fuck they want. water's fine is a great example of this - a simple, hour-long game with an extremely basic concept that's easy to completely break but has the fun aesthetics and wacky bullshit to back it up.
really, there isn't a whole lot to this one. stack paper until you get unlimited bombs then fuck everything up - just like real life. but with how simple it is, the sudden tonal shift at the end REALLY caught me off guard (in a good way, of course ). i played a few games from the same creator a few years back, and the aesthetic her games have is really something special - this one's no different.
while it's not complex and easy as shit, it does exactly what it sets out to do without overstaying its welcome and i can appreciate that. good game
itchio games you get in a bundle whenever some awful world event happens are where you're gonna see some of your purest, most distilled examples of solo indie devs doing whatever the fuck they want. water's fine is a great example of this - a simple, hour-long game with an extremely basic concept that's easy to completely break but has the fun aesthetics and wacky bullshit to back it up.
really, there isn't a whole lot to this one. stack paper until you get unlimited bombs then fuck everything up - just like real life. but with how simple it is, the sudden tonal shift at the end REALLY caught me off guard (in a good way, of course ). i played a few games from the same creator a few years back, and the aesthetic her games have is really something special - this one's no different.
while it's not complex and easy as shit, it does exactly what it sets out to do without overstaying its welcome and i can appreciate that. good game
2018
a game that asks for the insane precision of IWBTG with the bumbling controls of the mario 64 wing cap. truly absurd!
i feel guilty dogging on indie games like this but this one really didn't do it for me. to the game's credit, the first 3/4ths of it are pretty good - zooming through levels is super satisfying, and it's a ton of fun to keep your momentum up for as long as possible. also the artstyle is absolutely fantastic.
it's when the game decides to crank up the difficulty and hit you with frame-perfect jumps and 15 minute levels that shit starts to go south. not to mention that this game conceptually does not mesh well with insane touhou boss fights but they decided to put one in anyway. i think pretty much every platformer i've played has been more forgiving than this one - in later levels you literally need to be perfect at every point, or you'll just fucking die at the same spot over and over.
i'd say to an extent i had some fun with it, but the game gets a lot worse as it goes on. shout out to itchio bundles for getting me this on the cheap though
i feel guilty dogging on indie games like this but this one really didn't do it for me. to the game's credit, the first 3/4ths of it are pretty good - zooming through levels is super satisfying, and it's a ton of fun to keep your momentum up for as long as possible. also the artstyle is absolutely fantastic.
it's when the game decides to crank up the difficulty and hit you with frame-perfect jumps and 15 minute levels that shit starts to go south. not to mention that this game conceptually does not mesh well with insane touhou boss fights but they decided to put one in anyway. i think pretty much every platformer i've played has been more forgiving than this one - in later levels you literally need to be perfect at every point, or you'll just fucking die at the same spot over and over.
i'd say to an extent i had some fun with it, but the game gets a lot worse as it goes on. shout out to itchio bundles for getting me this on the cheap though
2016
every time a visually stunning indie game with a long-ass dev cycle has shitty combat and tons of flaws in general, an angel loses its wings.
this one took me years to finally get through, and for good reason. there's a lot here that just... doesn't feel fun. combat is pretty bad - even though owlboy's mechanics are fairly unique and fun to get acclimated to. you don't do enough damage, swapping between characters is clunky, sometimes aiming with the controller doesn't feel right, and every hit slams you against a wall and stops you from doing anything for several seconds. i think i got through every boss by face-tanking half the hits and just hoping i didn't die before it did.
there's also no map at all - which for a game like this is really bad. while the game itself is decently linear, you're put off from looking for any collectibles or secrets after you're done with that area out of fear of getting lost or just never finding something.
my least favorite part, however, were the stealth sections. personally, stealth sections are my least favorite gimmick in any game - they're slow, boring, and the stakes often don't matter so i just end up making a mad dash whenever i can. owlboy is filled with TONS of these - and each one is worse than the last. pirates will see you behind cover, the safe areas are few and far between, and don't even get me started on the bugs. NONE of these are executed well at all.
i kinda hate to tear into this game so much, because tbh it IS really beautiful - and despite all these downsides i don't hate it. it's got some of the best spritework of any game i've played, the music and worldbuilding are spectacular, and while i didn't get the best ending i loved the story regardless. the character designs are great too - your main cast is a ton of fun, and the NPCs and enemies have great designs as well. there's a ton to like in this game, but there's also a ton to dislike. give this one a try if you don't mind getting slammed against a wall every few seconds i guess.
this one took me years to finally get through, and for good reason. there's a lot here that just... doesn't feel fun. combat is pretty bad - even though owlboy's mechanics are fairly unique and fun to get acclimated to. you don't do enough damage, swapping between characters is clunky, sometimes aiming with the controller doesn't feel right, and every hit slams you against a wall and stops you from doing anything for several seconds. i think i got through every boss by face-tanking half the hits and just hoping i didn't die before it did.
there's also no map at all - which for a game like this is really bad. while the game itself is decently linear, you're put off from looking for any collectibles or secrets after you're done with that area out of fear of getting lost or just never finding something.
my least favorite part, however, were the stealth sections. personally, stealth sections are my least favorite gimmick in any game - they're slow, boring, and the stakes often don't matter so i just end up making a mad dash whenever i can. owlboy is filled with TONS of these - and each one is worse than the last. pirates will see you behind cover, the safe areas are few and far between, and don't even get me started on the bugs. NONE of these are executed well at all.
i kinda hate to tear into this game so much, because tbh it IS really beautiful - and despite all these downsides i don't hate it. it's got some of the best spritework of any game i've played, the music and worldbuilding are spectacular, and while i didn't get the best ending i loved the story regardless. the character designs are great too - your main cast is a ton of fun, and the NPCs and enemies have great designs as well. there's a ton to like in this game, but there's also a ton to dislike. give this one a try if you don't mind getting slammed against a wall every few seconds i guess.
its insane how this shit is still the goat 20 years later. this must be like the fifth or sixth time i've replayed prime, and even now i think it's the only game i love so much that i can actually sit through and finish it in 1-2 sittings. it's a massive comfort game for me and a huge source of nostalgia - but i will admit, every time i finish a new playthrough i find more flaws with it. still, this shit is really nice.
this is probably the best example of a remastered game that looks how you remember it as a kid. they improved upon this game's environments SO fucking well. prime was already a game that looked great for its time, and the remake amps that up to 11 - imo one of the nicest looking games on the switch. i feel like even now the amount of work that went into this game is unappreciated, it's really incredible how they dropped this one and then dipped.
combat feels great as always, and I love how many different control schemes they provided. i was so used to the wii pointer controls that i couldn't imagine using anything else, but i got used to twin stick shooting pretty easily. there were a few times where i fumbled with switching beams or some shit, but it didn't bug me too bad. shooting feels great, platforming gets better and better the further along you go, shit is just NICE man. this is a primo-ass game right here.
i think with this playthrough, though, it finally hit me just how awful the backtracking can feel at times. even when compared to other metroid games, there were plenty of moments that had me scratching my head as to why they'd make me retrace my steps so far for a single upgrade. easily the worst offender was the game leading you directly to the crashed frigate and waiting until you're halfway through it before saying "oops uwu you need the gravity suit get fucked" and making you backtrack through some pretty terrible underwater platforming. then the gravity suit is halfway across the fucking planet! how would i have assumed to go that way without a guide or waiting around for the game to literally show me where it is? if this was literally any other game, i'd be foaming at the mouth over having to spend so much time backtracking - but prime is lucky that i hold it so dearly. it gets a pass, even though i didn't like that shit.
also the x ray and thermal visors are somehow even worse on my eyes than they were in the original release. that's pretty bad too, i always hated using those. but both of these were also issues that were present in the original version, so it's not like i can fault them for it now. these are my only real complaints tbh.
i still think this is one of the best FPS games out there, and one that everyone should try at least once if they haven't already. seriously, if you haven't played prime you gotta rectify that shit!!
this is probably the best example of a remastered game that looks how you remember it as a kid. they improved upon this game's environments SO fucking well. prime was already a game that looked great for its time, and the remake amps that up to 11 - imo one of the nicest looking games on the switch. i feel like even now the amount of work that went into this game is unappreciated, it's really incredible how they dropped this one and then dipped.
combat feels great as always, and I love how many different control schemes they provided. i was so used to the wii pointer controls that i couldn't imagine using anything else, but i got used to twin stick shooting pretty easily. there were a few times where i fumbled with switching beams or some shit, but it didn't bug me too bad. shooting feels great, platforming gets better and better the further along you go, shit is just NICE man. this is a primo-ass game right here.
i think with this playthrough, though, it finally hit me just how awful the backtracking can feel at times. even when compared to other metroid games, there were plenty of moments that had me scratching my head as to why they'd make me retrace my steps so far for a single upgrade. easily the worst offender was the game leading you directly to the crashed frigate and waiting until you're halfway through it before saying "oops uwu you need the gravity suit get fucked" and making you backtrack through some pretty terrible underwater platforming. then the gravity suit is halfway across the fucking planet! how would i have assumed to go that way without a guide or waiting around for the game to literally show me where it is? if this was literally any other game, i'd be foaming at the mouth over having to spend so much time backtracking - but prime is lucky that i hold it so dearly. it gets a pass, even though i didn't like that shit.
also the x ray and thermal visors are somehow even worse on my eyes than they were in the original release. that's pretty bad too, i always hated using those. but both of these were also issues that were present in the original version, so it's not like i can fault them for it now. these are my only real complaints tbh.
i still think this is one of the best FPS games out there, and one that everyone should try at least once if they haven't already. seriously, if you haven't played prime you gotta rectify that shit!!
the core gameplay of lumines is still there (and still pretty great), but this one's got some issues. it feels a lot more slippery (both gameplay-wise and because the vita's d pad isn't spectacular), and not being able to see the path your pieces fall along is a bit rough. also the touchscreen controls are terrible, it usually took me like 5 attempts to get your special blocks because shit just wasn't registering. there just isn't as much content as lumines remastered, it's just a less enjoyable experience overall.
the soundtrack is pretty great though, that's the one thing this game has going for it. like overall it's still lumines and it's not awful, going from remastered to this just kinda sucked.
the soundtrack is pretty great though, that's the one thing this game has going for it. like overall it's still lumines and it's not awful, going from remastered to this just kinda sucked.
2018
SHAKE YA BODY SHAKE YA BODY SHAKE YA BODY DOWN TO THE GROUND
i'm usually not a fan of puzzle games (especially those that request as much concentration as lumines) but this one's pretty damn good. overall concept is simple yet addicting, and the graphics and morphing stages are neat as hell and prevent things from getting stale. having parameters such as block/scroll speed be affected by different levels is a nice touch too - when going through classic mode, you really start to get a feel for which stages are gonna slow down and let you relax for a bit and which ones are gonna beat the shit out of you.
it's backed up by a really great soundtrack too. even if there are plenty of songs that arent playlist-worthy, it really sells the different levels and makes the anxiety of watching your blocks hopelessly pile up even more real. there are some great ones, though - i'll never forget the first time i made it to Lights (and immediately fucking lost lmao)
i didn't have much interest in most of the other modes (im a grown adult and idgaf about time attack), but it's still a really well-rounded package and a good deal for the price. only real nitpicks i have are some levels in classic mode have pretty flat color palettes (so it's hard to differentiate block colors), and that classic mode itself is pretty fucking long. having to lock in for 45 minutes to an hour each run (obliterating my eyes in the process) only to die in the second to last stage cause i mixed up the different colors of blue fucking sucked. it definitely made finally beating it more satisfying, though.
it's not gonna be a game i come back to super often, but finally getting the hang of this one felt great. if you're looking for an inexpensive puzzle game that's an easy way to kill a few hours, then this is the one, baby. shake ya body down to the ground.
i'm usually not a fan of puzzle games (especially those that request as much concentration as lumines) but this one's pretty damn good. overall concept is simple yet addicting, and the graphics and morphing stages are neat as hell and prevent things from getting stale. having parameters such as block/scroll speed be affected by different levels is a nice touch too - when going through classic mode, you really start to get a feel for which stages are gonna slow down and let you relax for a bit and which ones are gonna beat the shit out of you.
it's backed up by a really great soundtrack too. even if there are plenty of songs that arent playlist-worthy, it really sells the different levels and makes the anxiety of watching your blocks hopelessly pile up even more real. there are some great ones, though - i'll never forget the first time i made it to Lights (and immediately fucking lost lmao)
i didn't have much interest in most of the other modes (im a grown adult and idgaf about time attack), but it's still a really well-rounded package and a good deal for the price. only real nitpicks i have are some levels in classic mode have pretty flat color palettes (so it's hard to differentiate block colors), and that classic mode itself is pretty fucking long. having to lock in for 45 minutes to an hour each run (obliterating my eyes in the process) only to die in the second to last stage cause i mixed up the different colors of blue fucking sucked. it definitely made finally beating it more satisfying, though.
it's not gonna be a game i come back to super often, but finally getting the hang of this one felt great. if you're looking for an inexpensive puzzle game that's an easy way to kill a few hours, then this is the one, baby. shake ya body down to the ground.
2023
i'm a big big fan of funny games that don't give a fuck about anything. so i'm a bit mad at myself for not playing this one sooner.
batshit insane controls, the most hectic and explosive aesthetic of any game i've ever played, and zero fear over looking like it was made in mspaint - this one fucks HARD, dude. every level made me laugh out loud at least once, and the sheer number of insane gimmicks floored me. pizza tower isn't at all afraid to move away from its 2d platformer inspirations and just go "here's a fucking gun". even benign stuff like the priest removing whatever transformation you have by absolving you of your sins is fucking genius.
this is a very short game, but there's not an ounce of filler here. not a single slow point - back to back insane nonsense for four straight hours. sure, not every level or individual moment is a winner, but almost all of them are good in some form or another.
unfortunately, though, with how frantic the game's pacing is, i felt like there was hardly any opportunities to seek out secrets unless it was obvious how to get to them - so i hardly got any of those during my time with the game. also, i'm personally not a fan of score-based games, so i don't really see any incentive to go for P ranks at all. especially when i never quite became accustomed to the controls - though that's absolutely on me, i get that this game is slippery on purpose.
(also i'm fully willing to admit this. im a colossal wuss and didnt like the jumpscare level at all. the escape section was funny though)
still, this game's phenomenal. most of my issues with it just boil down to personal taste, but even if i don't ever see myself grinding this one out i still thoroughly enjoyed my time with it.
batshit insane controls, the most hectic and explosive aesthetic of any game i've ever played, and zero fear over looking like it was made in mspaint - this one fucks HARD, dude. every level made me laugh out loud at least once, and the sheer number of insane gimmicks floored me. pizza tower isn't at all afraid to move away from its 2d platformer inspirations and just go "here's a fucking gun". even benign stuff like the priest removing whatever transformation you have by absolving you of your sins is fucking genius.
this is a very short game, but there's not an ounce of filler here. not a single slow point - back to back insane nonsense for four straight hours. sure, not every level or individual moment is a winner, but almost all of them are good in some form or another.
unfortunately, though, with how frantic the game's pacing is, i felt like there was hardly any opportunities to seek out secrets unless it was obvious how to get to them - so i hardly got any of those during my time with the game. also, i'm personally not a fan of score-based games, so i don't really see any incentive to go for P ranks at all. especially when i never quite became accustomed to the controls - though that's absolutely on me, i get that this game is slippery on purpose.
(also i'm fully willing to admit this. im a colossal wuss and didnt like the jumpscare level at all. the escape section was funny though)
still, this game's phenomenal. most of my issues with it just boil down to personal taste, but even if i don't ever see myself grinding this one out i still thoroughly enjoyed my time with it.