Ratts
Hall of Fame team:
Totes the Feraligatr
Iggy the Pidgeot
Leeech the Exeggutor
Zappy the Magneton
Stan the Dragonair
Veleria the Graveler
In hindsight, not a super exceptional team. The lack of Fire or Fighting type moves put me at a disadvantage that was only amplified by the fact that the Pokémon I chose had limited move pools to begin with. Stronger moves like Thunder and Psychic were either impossible options for their learnsets, accessible only through tedious overleveling, or locked behind other mechanics (Game Corner eww). I didn't feel like doing any of that, so my team's effectiveness suffered as a result.
And yet for the most part, this didn't really bother me. Sure, it was annoying at times, having to basically brute force my way through the game with underleveled mons, but all that did was lead me to appreciate them more and facilitate my own storytelling through my gameplay. On paper an Exeggutor isn't the greatest option, but I wasn't using any Exeggutor, I was using Leeech, the three-headed plant lady who's competing personalities could never decide if they wanted to attack, defend, or, well, leech off the opponent. Leeech is my creation and I can have what fun I decide with them, even if she dies a dozen times in the Elite Four (don't worry about it).
One of the great tenets of this series, a sentiment Gen II in particular highlights, is that any Pokémon can be special, as long as they are special to you, and that really got me going through this, my first Crystal playthrough. Before the Pokémon Bank servers are shut down, I'll be sure to transfer my mons from the 3DS to new horizons, including MVP Zappy, who's shockingly consistent (sigh) Thundershock paralyses carried the team to victory. Just gotta go catch that magic rain dog first...
Totes the Feraligatr
Iggy the Pidgeot
Leeech the Exeggutor
Zappy the Magneton
Stan the Dragonair
Veleria the Graveler
In hindsight, not a super exceptional team. The lack of Fire or Fighting type moves put me at a disadvantage that was only amplified by the fact that the Pokémon I chose had limited move pools to begin with. Stronger moves like Thunder and Psychic were either impossible options for their learnsets, accessible only through tedious overleveling, or locked behind other mechanics (Game Corner eww). I didn't feel like doing any of that, so my team's effectiveness suffered as a result.
And yet for the most part, this didn't really bother me. Sure, it was annoying at times, having to basically brute force my way through the game with underleveled mons, but all that did was lead me to appreciate them more and facilitate my own storytelling through my gameplay. On paper an Exeggutor isn't the greatest option, but I wasn't using any Exeggutor, I was using Leeech, the three-headed plant lady who's competing personalities could never decide if they wanted to attack, defend, or, well, leech off the opponent. Leeech is my creation and I can have what fun I decide with them, even if she dies a dozen times in the Elite Four (don't worry about it).
One of the great tenets of this series, a sentiment Gen II in particular highlights, is that any Pokémon can be special, as long as they are special to you, and that really got me going through this, my first Crystal playthrough. Before the Pokémon Bank servers are shut down, I'll be sure to transfer my mons from the 3DS to new horizons, including MVP Zappy, who's shockingly consistent (sigh) Thundershock paralyses carried the team to victory. Just gotta go catch that magic rain dog first...
P.T. (acronym for "playable teaser") is a 2014 psychological horror game developed by Kojima Productions under the pseudonym "7780s Studio" and published by Konami. It was directed and designed by Hideo Kojima in collaboration with filmmaker Guillermo del Toro, and was released for free on the PlayStation 4. P.T. served as an interactive teaser for the game Silent Hills, an installment in the Silent Hill series. After the cancellation of Silent Hills, Konami removed P.T. from the PlayStation Store and made it impossible to reinstall. The decision prompted criticism and fan remakes. P.T. has been cited as among the greatest horror games of all time, with praise towards its direction and presentation while its puzzles drew mixed responses.
Gameplay
Unlike in the Silent Hill games, the player character has no means of defense against the hostile ghost Lisa (pictured). Her design has drawn comparisons to the yūrei and ubume in Japanese folklore.
Unlike the third-person perspective in Silent Hill games, P.T. uses a first-person perspective, which centers on an unknown protagonist, controlled by the player, who awakens in a haunted suburban house and experiences supernatural occurrences. Available areas to explore in the home consist of an L-shaped corridor with two rooms adjacent to it: a bathroom, and a staircase which leads to the room in which the player starts a loop, or a continuous reincarnation of the corridor. The only actions the player can use are walking and zooming. To progress, the player must investigate frightening events and solve cryptic puzzles. Each time a loop is successfully completed, changes appear in the corridor. Additionally, the player encounters a hostile ghost named Lisa. If she catches the protagonist, there may be a random chance of triggering a jump scare when turning the camera horizontally, in this case the current loop starts
Gameplay
Unlike in the Silent Hill games, the player character has no means of defense against the hostile ghost Lisa (pictured). Her design has drawn comparisons to the yūrei and ubume in Japanese folklore.
Unlike the third-person perspective in Silent Hill games, P.T. uses a first-person perspective, which centers on an unknown protagonist, controlled by the player, who awakens in a haunted suburban house and experiences supernatural occurrences. Available areas to explore in the home consist of an L-shaped corridor with two rooms adjacent to it: a bathroom, and a staircase which leads to the room in which the player starts a loop, or a continuous reincarnation of the corridor. The only actions the player can use are walking and zooming. To progress, the player must investigate frightening events and solve cryptic puzzles. Each time a loop is successfully completed, changes appear in the corridor. Additionally, the player encounters a hostile ghost named Lisa. If she catches the protagonist, there may be a random chance of triggering a jump scare when turning the camera horizontally, in this case the current loop starts
A total improvement over an already stellar game, Survivor brings together a great traversal/exploration experience with a fantastic, emotional story. Star Wars is good and I won't have you tell me otherwise.
C-R-O-W-N-E-D is a banger and also my worst fucking enemy. But fun time!
2016
Downloaded this game because I wanted to go fast and didn't have Sonic Frontiers. Now I have Sonic Frontiers. Thanks Defunct, I played you for 30 minutes until you crashed trying to load some trees, but those 30 minutes were decent.
2022
This review contains spoilers
Imagine that you're playing God of War Ragnarök. You've just discovered a new area and find yourself in a room with a locked door and complex machinery. A puzzle lies before you, obviously, one that you're excited to spend a few moments figuring out and completing. And you would do just that, if it weren't for the fact that before you can even begin to take in this room in detail, you're bombarded with an assault of:
"Father, try hitting this with your ax"
"Oh look, brother, the switch for the gate is to the left!"
"Freeze the water right here Kratos"
"Hold L2 to aim at the target and finish the puzzle already idiot"
This is a scenario that occurs in essentially every new area without fail, and to it I say this: hey, game? Shut the fuck up! Please? Let me get my bearings for two seconds and solve something on my own without you rushing me along. This is a symptomatic issue in too many AAA games; they have Cinematic and Epic stories and the devs want you to know it, so everything must be in service to it, including these puzzles that must be narrated to Hel and back.
Make no mistake, Cinematic and Epic is definitely what Santa Monica intend this game to be. And while the first game is presented in a similar manner, the 2018 GOW ultimately prevails because it is, at its heart, a simple story of a father and son walking up a mountain. Ragnarök, on the other hand, wants to be so much more, too much, to the point where the actual goal of the story is lost in its grand scale. Too often I found myself wondering what these characters actually want. Are we stopping Ragnarök or causing it? Are we killing Heimdall or ignoring him? Do we hate Thor or are we helping him with his addiction and trying to heal his broken family? Wait, what was that last one?
It doesn't help that Kratos and Atreus kind of suck as protagonists. Great performances that earn ten minute acceptance speeches at the Game Awards are wasted on dudes who are as passive as possible in this story until the final act. That passiveness leads to some shockingly dull sequences where you follow around characters with actual goals that at best make you want to play as them or at worst make you feel like it just will never end (it's Ironwood I'm talking about Ironwood). Kratos never wants to do anything in this game, which I suppose is in character, but it should not be the dispostion of the avatar of the player, who naturally wants to do everything. And Atreus is obsessed with finding answers, both to the meaning of prophecy and the secrets surrounding his identity, but having just completed this game I can't tell you if he actually figures out either.
Speaking of prophecy, whatever they were trying to explore in this game doesn't seem to land. The shadow cast over this story is that Kratos will die, and as more and more events line up exactly as predicted, Kratos... just doesn't (yes I know that technically his heart stops during the fight with Thor at the beginning of the game but if that's Santa Monica's workaround to painting themselves into a corner it's stupid and doesn't count). The game really tries to hit this point home in the final sequence, even giving you and your companions unique sets of armor called "Fate Breaker," but considering everything else plays out exactly the same, it does not feel earned at all. Hell, one of the early game twists is that the Giants predicted we would win Ragnarök anyway, so what fate are we even breaking? Coupling this with the fact that this is a completely linear game where you make zero branching choices¹, the whole theme of forging your own destiny falls pretty flat. (There's one brief moment during the Norn mission where the devs seemed to be using the level design to make a meta point, but considering how subtle it seemed I doubt it really meant much and won't go into it.)
Now all this may give the impression that I did not enjoy this game, and while the narrative aspect of it left me pretty underwhelmed, I can't say I didn't have fun here. The combat is as great as ever; staggering enemies and timing parries and choosing the perfect window to use runic abilities, it's all a blast. I've seen some hate thrown at the new weapon, but honestly I liked the addition of the spear. I felt it added just enough variety to the game, and having more choices for approachs to combat is always a boon. Do the weapons all play essentially the same? Sort of, but sometimes you just wanna poke a guy with a big stick. Pulling off a string of attacks and perfect parries feels super rewarding, especially when using the high-risk, high-reward shield options. Almost makes fighting some of the bullshit challenge bosses worth it.
And bosses, man are there a lot of them. To replace the Valkyries from 2018, Ragnarök introduces a new set of scary Power Rangers to track down across the realms, the Berserkers. While I was Gamer enough to work my way up all the way to Valkyrie Queen Sigrun in the previous game and defeat her after a long fight, I don't think I'll be able to say the same for this entry, both because the Berserkers are ludicrously difficult and because a friend lent me this game and probably wants it back. But even if this were mine to keep, the challenge presented by these guys is through the roof and I just don't think they're for me right now. For people who love that sort of thing though, they'll have something to shoot for.
Besides bosses, there's still so much to do in this game. I was prepared to finish it the other day when the story seemed to be nearing completion, only to be caught off guard by a massive secret area brimming with new objectives. That the game can pull something like that nearly 40 hours in and I still feel the urge to venture into it is a testament to its design. That urge is helped in no small part by some truly beatiful visuals that draw you way in. Yeah yeah, it's AAA of course it's gonna look good but MAN does it look good. There's one location that hosts a dual boss fight towards the end that is so stunning I just had to sit there and take it all in. Even on my poor little 2014 PS4 it was simply breathtaking.
There really is a lot that I just loved in this game, but it's love in bite-sized chunks, moments that were fun or maybe a bit moving that really only supply brief talking points. And that means, dear reader, that you've arrived at the section of the review where I get lazy and resort to bullet points. Hooray!
• Joked about it earlier, but the performances here are all on point. To paraphrase Christopher Judge, Christopher Judge is a motherfucking beast.
• Those Playstation easter egg books are so silly but I like em. Spent an embarassingly long time trying to figure out "Large Society Ground Orb, The Performance"
• As a former shithead Mythology Kid who just ate up stuff like Percy Jackson, seeing dumb but fun reinterpretations of myth tickles me to no end. The stories go that Loki and Angrboda become the parents of Fenrir and Jormungandr. How does this game handle this? In a dumb and fun way!
• Ratatoskr good. Squirrel funny.
• The resistance characters are fun but underutilized. Except Lúnda. Don't like Lúnda.
• Atreus trying to copy his dad and smash open a chest only to hurt himself is exactly what I thought would happen and it was still hilarious.
• For as pointless as their inclusion ended up being, Ragnarök the person looked cool.
So that's my review of God of War Ragnarök. I guess my final product here was a little long-winded, definitely petered out towards the end. And despite it all, landed pretty much right down the middle of everything. Pretty much just like the game then.
¹There is exactly one Telltale-style option at one point where you can choose whether or not to throw a snowball at a certain character, and honestly if that had some kind of impact on that character's motivations at some point in the endgame I would bump this score up but as far as I can tell nothing changes.
"Father, try hitting this with your ax"
"Oh look, brother, the switch for the gate is to the left!"
"Freeze the water right here Kratos"
"Hold L2 to aim at the target and finish the puzzle already idiot"
This is a scenario that occurs in essentially every new area without fail, and to it I say this: hey, game? Shut the fuck up! Please? Let me get my bearings for two seconds and solve something on my own without you rushing me along. This is a symptomatic issue in too many AAA games; they have Cinematic and Epic stories and the devs want you to know it, so everything must be in service to it, including these puzzles that must be narrated to Hel and back.
Make no mistake, Cinematic and Epic is definitely what Santa Monica intend this game to be. And while the first game is presented in a similar manner, the 2018 GOW ultimately prevails because it is, at its heart, a simple story of a father and son walking up a mountain. Ragnarök, on the other hand, wants to be so much more, too much, to the point where the actual goal of the story is lost in its grand scale. Too often I found myself wondering what these characters actually want. Are we stopping Ragnarök or causing it? Are we killing Heimdall or ignoring him? Do we hate Thor or are we helping him with his addiction and trying to heal his broken family? Wait, what was that last one?
It doesn't help that Kratos and Atreus kind of suck as protagonists. Great performances that earn ten minute acceptance speeches at the Game Awards are wasted on dudes who are as passive as possible in this story until the final act. That passiveness leads to some shockingly dull sequences where you follow around characters with actual goals that at best make you want to play as them or at worst make you feel like it just will never end (it's Ironwood I'm talking about Ironwood). Kratos never wants to do anything in this game, which I suppose is in character, but it should not be the dispostion of the avatar of the player, who naturally wants to do everything. And Atreus is obsessed with finding answers, both to the meaning of prophecy and the secrets surrounding his identity, but having just completed this game I can't tell you if he actually figures out either.
Speaking of prophecy, whatever they were trying to explore in this game doesn't seem to land. The shadow cast over this story is that Kratos will die, and as more and more events line up exactly as predicted, Kratos... just doesn't (yes I know that technically his heart stops during the fight with Thor at the beginning of the game but if that's Santa Monica's workaround to painting themselves into a corner it's stupid and doesn't count). The game really tries to hit this point home in the final sequence, even giving you and your companions unique sets of armor called "Fate Breaker," but considering everything else plays out exactly the same, it does not feel earned at all. Hell, one of the early game twists is that the Giants predicted we would win Ragnarök anyway, so what fate are we even breaking? Coupling this with the fact that this is a completely linear game where you make zero branching choices¹, the whole theme of forging your own destiny falls pretty flat. (There's one brief moment during the Norn mission where the devs seemed to be using the level design to make a meta point, but considering how subtle it seemed I doubt it really meant much and won't go into it.)
Now all this may give the impression that I did not enjoy this game, and while the narrative aspect of it left me pretty underwhelmed, I can't say I didn't have fun here. The combat is as great as ever; staggering enemies and timing parries and choosing the perfect window to use runic abilities, it's all a blast. I've seen some hate thrown at the new weapon, but honestly I liked the addition of the spear. I felt it added just enough variety to the game, and having more choices for approachs to combat is always a boon. Do the weapons all play essentially the same? Sort of, but sometimes you just wanna poke a guy with a big stick. Pulling off a string of attacks and perfect parries feels super rewarding, especially when using the high-risk, high-reward shield options. Almost makes fighting some of the bullshit challenge bosses worth it.
And bosses, man are there a lot of them. To replace the Valkyries from 2018, Ragnarök introduces a new set of scary Power Rangers to track down across the realms, the Berserkers. While I was Gamer enough to work my way up all the way to Valkyrie Queen Sigrun in the previous game and defeat her after a long fight, I don't think I'll be able to say the same for this entry, both because the Berserkers are ludicrously difficult and because a friend lent me this game and probably wants it back. But even if this were mine to keep, the challenge presented by these guys is through the roof and I just don't think they're for me right now. For people who love that sort of thing though, they'll have something to shoot for.
Besides bosses, there's still so much to do in this game. I was prepared to finish it the other day when the story seemed to be nearing completion, only to be caught off guard by a massive secret area brimming with new objectives. That the game can pull something like that nearly 40 hours in and I still feel the urge to venture into it is a testament to its design. That urge is helped in no small part by some truly beatiful visuals that draw you way in. Yeah yeah, it's AAA of course it's gonna look good but MAN does it look good. There's one location that hosts a dual boss fight towards the end that is so stunning I just had to sit there and take it all in. Even on my poor little 2014 PS4 it was simply breathtaking.
There really is a lot that I just loved in this game, but it's love in bite-sized chunks, moments that were fun or maybe a bit moving that really only supply brief talking points. And that means, dear reader, that you've arrived at the section of the review where I get lazy and resort to bullet points. Hooray!
• Joked about it earlier, but the performances here are all on point. To paraphrase Christopher Judge, Christopher Judge is a motherfucking beast.
• Those Playstation easter egg books are so silly but I like em. Spent an embarassingly long time trying to figure out "Large Society Ground Orb, The Performance"
• As a former shithead Mythology Kid who just ate up stuff like Percy Jackson, seeing dumb but fun reinterpretations of myth tickles me to no end. The stories go that Loki and Angrboda become the parents of Fenrir and Jormungandr. How does this game handle this? In a dumb and fun way!
• Ratatoskr good. Squirrel funny.
• The resistance characters are fun but underutilized. Except Lúnda. Don't like Lúnda.
• Atreus trying to copy his dad and smash open a chest only to hurt himself is exactly what I thought would happen and it was still hilarious.
• For as pointless as their inclusion ended up being, Ragnarök the person looked cool.
So that's my review of God of War Ragnarök. I guess my final product here was a little long-winded, definitely petered out towards the end. And despite it all, landed pretty much right down the middle of everything. Pretty much just like the game then.
¹There is exactly one Telltale-style option at one point where you can choose whether or not to throw a snowball at a certain character, and honestly if that had some kind of impact on that character's motivations at some point in the endgame I would bump this score up but as far as I can tell nothing changes.
2019
Uninstalled the moment I heard Jacksepticeye's voice.
1986
Shout out to the Trans Fishers for making Castlevania. Big fan!
1993
Someone figure out how to distill sprites into a liquid form because I need every frame of Dedede's face in this game injected into my arm.
1983
Somehow slower and more boring than actual baseball. The blurb on Switch Online said that "you will definitely enjoy this game" and I gotta tell you, Mr. Nintendo, that sure was not the case.
1988
The main lesson to take away here is that birds flying at your face will do three times as much damage as a bullet would. I have been struck by neither in my life but I have no reason to assume Ninja Gaiden would lie to me.
1984
Absurdly easy and a massive gameplay departure from the previous entries. But also still fun with a weird charm. Stanley for Smash, he needs to fumigate Lylat Cruise.
1992
Old Man in Sweater is a top tier character, but shout out to fellow contestants Guy Wearing NYC Shirt and Amy Sedaris in The Mandalorian.
Also, Trebek looks awful and maybe just a bit terrifying? Whatever that thing is that happens with his eyebrows is gonna haunt me.
Also, Trebek looks awful and maybe just a bit terrifying? Whatever that thing is that happens with his eyebrows is gonna haunt me.
2020
Torn on this. I was excited to check this game out from the developer of Bloodborne PSX and went with the original mobile version, but I can't help but think the PC port would have been a better choice. The controls on Android are pretty awkward. I felt I was fighting more just to properly look at the enemies than actually shoot at them. Given that Arcus is built with failure in mind and anticipates you losing a level, I can't be all that upset that the game is difficult. But I'd rather that challenge be born from the design itself instead of the disorientation that comes from trying to aim or change positions. The levels feel pretty samey throughout, aside from the desert stage, which incorporates a neat mechanic of raising and lowering barricades to get clearer lines of sight on opponents. Still, most of the main gameplay loop is just too cumbersome to be much fun for me.
Where this game shows real promise, though, is not in the tower defense segments, but in its story and presentation. With essentially zero dialogue, Arcus does a great job of conveying character and emotion through subtle shifts of body language and smartly paced cutscenes. You can really get a sense of the player character's personality through these small moments. The best sequence of the game, set in a lavish ballroom and devoid of actual combat, incorporates this personality into the gameplay itself in a very neat change of pace. The ending, too, features some striking visuals and a turn that caps the experience off nicely. Its clear that a lot of care was put into making the quiet moments of the game feel impactful, and I think it accomplishes that very well.
The developer has said that she intends to return to this world sometime after completing the hotly anticipated Bloodborne Kart. I hope the sequel improves on the formula established here, because I'd love to see what could really be done with Arcus.
Where this game shows real promise, though, is not in the tower defense segments, but in its story and presentation. With essentially zero dialogue, Arcus does a great job of conveying character and emotion through subtle shifts of body language and smartly paced cutscenes. You can really get a sense of the player character's personality through these small moments. The best sequence of the game, set in a lavish ballroom and devoid of actual combat, incorporates this personality into the gameplay itself in a very neat change of pace. The ending, too, features some striking visuals and a turn that caps the experience off nicely. Its clear that a lot of care was put into making the quiet moments of the game feel impactful, and I think it accomplishes that very well.
The developer has said that she intends to return to this world sometime after completing the hotly anticipated Bloodborne Kart. I hope the sequel improves on the formula established here, because I'd love to see what could really be done with Arcus.
2013
This review contains spoilers
This game is fine but it might have some of the most atrocious sound mixing for a final boss I've ever heard. Those goddamn BOOMS were obnoxious as hell and made me take off my headphones lol.