i will do untold amounts of crime to get this game a translation patch, it looks SO GROSS and CREEPY i want to love it so bad

Update: SOON... shoutouts to Cargodin and EsperKnight for making me not have to learn japanese

Update: https://www.romhacking.net/translations/6451/ gooped off my gourd with happiness. it real :)

the writing is very 'meme'-y and the gameplay feels like getting constantly cuckolded. levels end way too fast, most levels lack interesting set pieces or a meaningful feeling of progression, and it's all over in a bit over an hour. it has some cute ideas but they're not much more than cute. the obvious comparison is Katamari, but Katamari has a weight to it this doesn't. a feeling of constant growth, great pacing, and simple, satisfying gameplay. this game isn't very satisfying but i feel bad disliking it so much so i'll stop here.

due to horny, Shantae is somehow a series - but it has a problem. the problem is that Shantae is kinda bad? the main gimmick of transforming is a total pace-breaker and nothing about its world or characters are very, uh, written. at all. playing the stories and dialogue of these games feel like trudging through rejected scripts from a strange Canadian cartoon time forgot, ones from the third season that only make sense with the rest of the show. the series feels like an afterthought, like nothing in it was ever planned out beyond the characters being hot and boobies. EXCEPT for this one, actually. it's fun! i can't tell you a single goddamn thing that happened in its narrative or what anything in it was but it was fun. mostly fun because it cripples Shantae's powers, inadvertently making her far more powerful and fun to play as. the pacing is good, the music is great, and sometimes that's all you really need.

Toby Fox took down his tweets talking about his involvement (one song) after it came out and everyone found out what it really was. possibly the worst protag of all time, voiced by a creep. this game tries so unbelievably hard but fails in most aspects. not much about this game works and it hurts because you can tell there was passion behind it, i can partially see why it has a (mostly) ironic cult following now because it's something you do want to see be good. it's ambitious, its heart and influences are so obviously visible but it just falls flat on its face. high school talent show pants-shitting on stage energy.

not just a good VR game - this is Valve once again back at it kicking ass at making good games but it just happens to be in VR. It's not just a gimmick in this case, the game makes full use of its hardware and is one of the most immersive and cool games i've ever played. locations are distinct and memorable, the game is filled with great set pieces, the writing is obviously gonna be good, it's a game that feels like a true Half-Life title but just in VR. i upgraded my PC to get this and, unfortunately, got a cheap Rift S (fuck you facebook!) and i only regret not spending more money for an Index.