SneakyToucan
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Returnal
2021
[ATROPOS_SCOUT_LOG_#01]://“DualSense"
The drizzle of rain rippling through my fingers. Stone hearts pulsating, shocks to my system. A fog unending. This ain’t home but the place where I must be. The ghost of Sisyphus lost in a dark forest where the rivers run red with neon-blood at her feet.
This is not an ordinary planet. Everything here wants [to kill] me. The worm-fed wolves and the speckled colossi uncoiling their endless garments of tentacles. Selene gets bashed into her suit by a biological blade slicing through the bullet rainbow. Azure echoes, a scan. Soft waves washing over my palms, producing new images, forming a sense of space built on the past-pulled directions of her previous deaths - rubber-banded triggers and reflexes snatching at the pressure of our fingers, dashes across a yard of grass, concealing its cosmic horrors, gestating new ones, each loot chamber a tomb filled with little dilemmas like a gun or another gun or a malignancy that’s worth the bite it will inflict on your virtual corpse once the creeper’s been fed if only I could survive that long - come through the other side of the mirror not unscathed but changed, finally, freed from the kind of anxious death-drive repetition forces upon you with its binaries of risk and reward. The sepulchral horror of Returnal’s feedback loop isn’t so much the impossibility of our escape as it is the unveiling of desire’s deepest seat; Selene - and by extension the player - are exactly where they’re meant to be, embedded within this unbelievably tight system of dashes and haptics, movement mechanics that thankfully prioritize responsiveness over groundedness complimented by an array of weapons each embodying distinct ways of approaching and eradicating our outer demons in this inner hell - and god does it feel good to burst this Hollowseeker open, watch Ixion fold into a cloud of golden dust; to see polygons devolve by my hand and understand this information in the skin directly then commits the player to kinesthesia as a form of immersion in which Returnal refuses subjugation and offers a direct line of conversation with the text instead - the best rumblescape since Rez’s Trance Vibrator. I’d go one step further even : Atropos as a sexual device. Of parasites latching onto my arm and skin saturated in power-ups. Digital matter that burrows in my brain's DualSense, carries me over this teleporter and away. Pop the bubble bath. Selene crumbles like the feeble being of particles that she is before reappearing somewhere else. Another room, another reverberation, this time I fail miserably at dispatching the heretic Phrike but I’ll soon be here again no doubt, and if not here then perhaps up in this spire that festers into infinity, grinding the score, collecting poppy flowers, attempting to make sense of the frenzy of it all. Bared tendrils at the mere sight of me, so I respond in kind - they tear me to pieces, they send me under.
Hihi, Atropos.
-
[ATROPOS SCOUT LOG_#02] :// “DreamSequence”
“Her name was Echo and she made the mistake of helping Zeus succeed in one of his sexual conquests. Hera found out and punished Echo, making it impossible for her to say anything except the last words spoken to her. Soon after, Echo fell in love with Narcissus whose obsession with himself caused her to pine away until only her voice remained. Another lesser known version of this myth has Pan falling in love with Echo. Echo, however, rejects his amorous offers and Pan, being the god of civility and restraint, tears her to pieces, burying all of her except her voice. Adonta ta mete. [—Adonta ta… = “Her still singing limbs.”]”
- Chapter V, House of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski
Between every crash, a vision. Dreams in cathode ray-tubes and ocean-memories leaking through [her] with each failed attempt, a corrosive force of time itself, a marriage happening in reverse. Days falling into darkness; back to the beginning. In that particular fold of forest green a house stands - stood - still. Upon entrance, on the left wall just before a flight of stairs resonates with unknown footsteps, there hangs, I remark, the wooden-carved face of a sun left alone long ago. My son. Her daughter. Someone else’s Pandora's box - the soft voyeurism of play as metaphor. If DualSense’s intent was to obfuscate, to render tenuous and tactile the delineation between player and character then the house serves an opposite function - it sings with echoes, granting my poor astronaut the corporeal presence she so desperately craves in order to grasp the dream sequence and tear this body away from me. In her first-person perspective, at last, a new symbolic layer of reality touched in artifacts. Each passage through the house's pristine innards bores new holes in the narrative whilst grounding Selene in a larger picture of Returnal as an object both about her and itself - incapable of escaping its own maze of contradictions. But it's never enough. For me, for her. Even in death the proverbial rug is pulled from under us; to end her life on Earth means the same for Selene as it does on Atropos. We never escaped. And in this realization something shifts in our perception. Biomes of meaning begin to coalesce as crimson wastes become fractured and composed again, a ruin overgrown no longer and instead echoing our knowledge of design, confronting it to that of a decaying specter - except there's no one to race against but ourselves, frolicking in lasered flesh, taking a certain pleasure in charting that tract of scorched earth turned calcified snowmetal, in knowing that the planet glances back at us with every variation of its arcade terminologies. Sometimes on the ground you find a music box. Couple of omens, couple of tunes. Suddenly Returnal shrinks - and then expands. This planet is real, I’m convinced of it and the more Selene remembers, the more she seems to forget. I was lost in a forest once but now, it seems, I am trapped at the bottom.
Smile, Atropos.
-
Further journal entries will be added, in due time.
The drizzle of rain rippling through my fingers. Stone hearts pulsating, shocks to my system. A fog unending. This ain’t home but the place where I must be. The ghost of Sisyphus lost in a dark forest where the rivers run red with neon-blood at her feet.
This is not an ordinary planet. Everything here wants [to kill] me. The worm-fed wolves and the speckled colossi uncoiling their endless garments of tentacles. Selene gets bashed into her suit by a biological blade slicing through the bullet rainbow. Azure echoes, a scan. Soft waves washing over my palms, producing new images, forming a sense of space built on the past-pulled directions of her previous deaths - rubber-banded triggers and reflexes snatching at the pressure of our fingers, dashes across a yard of grass, concealing its cosmic horrors, gestating new ones, each loot chamber a tomb filled with little dilemmas like a gun or another gun or a malignancy that’s worth the bite it will inflict on your virtual corpse once the creeper’s been fed if only I could survive that long - come through the other side of the mirror not unscathed but changed, finally, freed from the kind of anxious death-drive repetition forces upon you with its binaries of risk and reward. The sepulchral horror of Returnal’s feedback loop isn’t so much the impossibility of our escape as it is the unveiling of desire’s deepest seat; Selene - and by extension the player - are exactly where they’re meant to be, embedded within this unbelievably tight system of dashes and haptics, movement mechanics that thankfully prioritize responsiveness over groundedness complimented by an array of weapons each embodying distinct ways of approaching and eradicating our outer demons in this inner hell - and god does it feel good to burst this Hollowseeker open, watch Ixion fold into a cloud of golden dust; to see polygons devolve by my hand and understand this information in the skin directly then commits the player to kinesthesia as a form of immersion in which Returnal refuses subjugation and offers a direct line of conversation with the text instead - the best rumblescape since Rez’s Trance Vibrator. I’d go one step further even : Atropos as a sexual device. Of parasites latching onto my arm and skin saturated in power-ups. Digital matter that burrows in my brain's DualSense, carries me over this teleporter and away. Pop the bubble bath. Selene crumbles like the feeble being of particles that she is before reappearing somewhere else. Another room, another reverberation, this time I fail miserably at dispatching the heretic Phrike but I’ll soon be here again no doubt, and if not here then perhaps up in this spire that festers into infinity, grinding the score, collecting poppy flowers, attempting to make sense of the frenzy of it all. Bared tendrils at the mere sight of me, so I respond in kind - they tear me to pieces, they send me under.
Hihi, Atropos.
-
[ATROPOS SCOUT LOG_#02] :// “DreamSequence”
“Her name was Echo and she made the mistake of helping Zeus succeed in one of his sexual conquests. Hera found out and punished Echo, making it impossible for her to say anything except the last words spoken to her. Soon after, Echo fell in love with Narcissus whose obsession with himself caused her to pine away until only her voice remained. Another lesser known version of this myth has Pan falling in love with Echo. Echo, however, rejects his amorous offers and Pan, being the god of civility and restraint, tears her to pieces, burying all of her except her voice. Adonta ta mete. [—Adonta ta… = “Her still singing limbs.”]”
- Chapter V, House of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski
Between every crash, a vision. Dreams in cathode ray-tubes and ocean-memories leaking through [her] with each failed attempt, a corrosive force of time itself, a marriage happening in reverse. Days falling into darkness; back to the beginning. In that particular fold of forest green a house stands - stood - still. Upon entrance, on the left wall just before a flight of stairs resonates with unknown footsteps, there hangs, I remark, the wooden-carved face of a sun left alone long ago. My son. Her daughter. Someone else’s Pandora's box - the soft voyeurism of play as metaphor. If DualSense’s intent was to obfuscate, to render tenuous and tactile the delineation between player and character then the house serves an opposite function - it sings with echoes, granting my poor astronaut the corporeal presence she so desperately craves in order to grasp the dream sequence and tear this body away from me. In her first-person perspective, at last, a new symbolic layer of reality touched in artifacts. Each passage through the house's pristine innards bores new holes in the narrative whilst grounding Selene in a larger picture of Returnal as an object both about her and itself - incapable of escaping its own maze of contradictions. But it's never enough. For me, for her. Even in death the proverbial rug is pulled from under us; to end her life on Earth means the same for Selene as it does on Atropos. We never escaped. And in this realization something shifts in our perception. Biomes of meaning begin to coalesce as crimson wastes become fractured and composed again, a ruin overgrown no longer and instead echoing our knowledge of design, confronting it to that of a decaying specter - except there's no one to race against but ourselves, frolicking in lasered flesh, taking a certain pleasure in charting that tract of scorched earth turned calcified snowmetal, in knowing that the planet glances back at us with every variation of its arcade terminologies. Sometimes on the ground you find a music box. Couple of omens, couple of tunes. Suddenly Returnal shrinks - and then expands. This planet is real, I’m convinced of it and the more Selene remembers, the more she seems to forget. I was lost in a forest once but now, it seems, I am trapped at the bottom.
Smile, Atropos.
-
Further journal entries will be added, in due time.
Their ambition paid off with the even more systems-driven world of Daggerfall, a diligent update of Arena that revealed their knack for unusual quest scenarios. Visual upgrades (to towns, overworld, dungeons, menus, NPCs, etc.) match functional (movement and command shortcuts) and QoL upgrades (town maps, mounts, storage), while surrounding mechanics (from character creation to dialogue systems) evolve into far more sophisticated features. But its best evolution is perhaps the least visible one. Use-based EXP - that previously only refined spells, expands FFII's weapon-oriented approach to many aspects of gameplay (e.g. running, climbing, conversations, mercantile, and others beyond combat and magic). While prone to repetition & exploits, this is perhaps their most significant idea, a gradual leveling system that treats gameplay's habits like a muscle: The more you use it, the better it gets. Its effect was to instill a new, parallel sense of purpose to decisions. For example, Arena's overworld doubles as a training ground here, as its vacant, prop-y layout helps build movement skills while random encounters (on rest) hone others, adding impetus to open-world roaming that the original lacked. Dungeons also deserve mention for incorporating seamless staircases, monster closets, underwater sections, teleports and many other additions from the classics, while remaining lengthy, dense, maze-y networks.
Much like their debut, though, the main quest could benefit from some editing, although one admits that the side content (the collective moments and not the journey/destination) forms the lifeblood of the game this time. Incidentally, one feels a lot more 'immersed' in this land as a mercenary trying to make profit than as a venturing hero.
Much like their debut, though, the main quest could benefit from some editing, although one admits that the side content (the collective moments and not the journey/destination) forms the lifeblood of the game this time. Incidentally, one feels a lot more 'immersed' in this land as a mercenary trying to make profit than as a venturing hero.
Deus Ex
2000
camera whirring computer beeping radio voice: Get to the bunker and get the new pancake recipe, JC. Waffle House Corporate is depending on you.
note on a computer They'll never know that Waffle House is just IHOP's puppet. The pancake recipe is actually a greek omelet recipe. The code to my penis is 3118.
note on a computer They'll never know that Waffle House is just IHOP's puppet. The pancake recipe is actually a greek omelet recipe. The code to my penis is 3118.
Panzer Dragoon Orta
2002
Panzer Dragoon Orta is another one of those games I mostly remember hearing about in magazines. It received a lot of praise at the time, but being as it was an Xbox exclusive, it was forever out of reach like other well-regarded classics of that generation, like Jet Set Radio Future and Blinx the Time Sweeper. You have no idea how much I longed to play Azurik: Rise of Perathia, there was a whole universe of games just beyond my grasp!
Unlike JSRF and its own predecessors, Orta is actually fairly accessible today thanks to the Xbox marketplace, and used copies are still reasonably priced. I've been thinking of grabbing one as recent delistings has inverted my prior (psychotic) belief that I need digital backups of all my physical games. Gotta cover all my bases, I need to be able to play this grungy-ass port of the PC version of Panzer Dragoon whenever I'd like, that's important.
In any case, it's nice that I finally got to check this game off my list after 20+ years of thinking "I really should play Panzer Dragoon Orta," and I'm happy that it lived up to years of continued hype. Orta feels like a culmination of Panzer Dragoon's narrative and mechanical ideas, borrowing from all three previous games in one way or another to create what I think is the most fully realized entry in the series.
Obviously, Orta models itself after the on-rails entries rather than continuing down the turn-based RPG path laid out by Saga. That's not to say it jettisons all of that game's identity, of course. Orta is similarly narrative heavy and makes good on Saga's world building and storyline by focusing on Azel and (presumably) Edge's daughter. Look, it's a little hard to say, Azel just downloaded some DNA and I'm not about to check the file properties on that. Orta also borrows from Saga's positional combat in a way that feels very naturalistic, so much so that I had to question if it was present in Zwei.
Speaking of Zwei, the dragon yet again has the ability to grow over time, but no longer does so based on end-of-level scores. Rather, it changes shape in real-time when enough power-ups are collected in a given form to advance it to the next stage of its evolution. This feels like a natural progression from Zwei, and though the effect might seem quaint today, that level of skeletal deformation and changes to texture mapping is one of Orta's most impressive features. Being able to swap between different attack types also adds a layer of depth, and the deeper into the game you progress, the more rapidly you'll find yourself flicking between forms in order to manage different enemy types. Though I found this a bit overwhelming initially, once you find the right flow and develop an eye for what enemy types you need to counter, it feels pretty good.
Unfortunately, I live in an imperfect, shitty, fucked up world where a sequel to Saga and the overall health of the franchise was solely dependent on how well Orta performed. Since then, we've gotten a remake of the first game that released 18 years after Sega put the series on ice, and people tore it apart for reasons I still can't quite wrap my head around. I think it's safe to say the book is closed on Panzer Dragoon, and that's a shame, but I do think Orta is a good note to go out on. There's no cliffhanger ending here to weigh down on me, though Orta's story is left open, and the gameplay is so tight and refined that I'm not left with a sense that they needed one more game to get things right.
Sometimes you just gotta be grateful for the Panzer Dragoons you got.
Unlike JSRF and its own predecessors, Orta is actually fairly accessible today thanks to the Xbox marketplace, and used copies are still reasonably priced. I've been thinking of grabbing one as recent delistings has inverted my prior (psychotic) belief that I need digital backups of all my physical games. Gotta cover all my bases, I need to be able to play this grungy-ass port of the PC version of Panzer Dragoon whenever I'd like, that's important.
In any case, it's nice that I finally got to check this game off my list after 20+ years of thinking "I really should play Panzer Dragoon Orta," and I'm happy that it lived up to years of continued hype. Orta feels like a culmination of Panzer Dragoon's narrative and mechanical ideas, borrowing from all three previous games in one way or another to create what I think is the most fully realized entry in the series.
Obviously, Orta models itself after the on-rails entries rather than continuing down the turn-based RPG path laid out by Saga. That's not to say it jettisons all of that game's identity, of course. Orta is similarly narrative heavy and makes good on Saga's world building and storyline by focusing on Azel and (presumably) Edge's daughter. Look, it's a little hard to say, Azel just downloaded some DNA and I'm not about to check the file properties on that. Orta also borrows from Saga's positional combat in a way that feels very naturalistic, so much so that I had to question if it was present in Zwei.
Speaking of Zwei, the dragon yet again has the ability to grow over time, but no longer does so based on end-of-level scores. Rather, it changes shape in real-time when enough power-ups are collected in a given form to advance it to the next stage of its evolution. This feels like a natural progression from Zwei, and though the effect might seem quaint today, that level of skeletal deformation and changes to texture mapping is one of Orta's most impressive features. Being able to swap between different attack types also adds a layer of depth, and the deeper into the game you progress, the more rapidly you'll find yourself flicking between forms in order to manage different enemy types. Though I found this a bit overwhelming initially, once you find the right flow and develop an eye for what enemy types you need to counter, it feels pretty good.
Unfortunately, I live in an imperfect, shitty, fucked up world where a sequel to Saga and the overall health of the franchise was solely dependent on how well Orta performed. Since then, we've gotten a remake of the first game that released 18 years after Sega put the series on ice, and people tore it apart for reasons I still can't quite wrap my head around. I think it's safe to say the book is closed on Panzer Dragoon, and that's a shame, but I do think Orta is a good note to go out on. There's no cliffhanger ending here to weigh down on me, though Orta's story is left open, and the gameplay is so tight and refined that I'm not left with a sense that they needed one more game to get things right.
Sometimes you just gotta be grateful for the Panzer Dragoons you got.
The Stanley Parable
2013
a british "person" tells me what to do while a bunch of philosophy degree gamers tell me THATS THE POINT!!!!!!! and yet i do not care. stop being british ok just stop
Anarchy Arcade
2013
Imagine having a 3D playable desktop where you can customize anything you want with customizable shortcuts as well, plus it being free! In Anarchy Arcade you can watch YouTube videos, add shortcuts to games and software, navigate websites, decorate rooms with objects/props, watch videos and movies, listen to music, and much more!
It also includes a Steam Workshop to try out what the community did, so don't be shy!
It also includes a Steam Workshop to try out what the community did, so don't be shy!
Cosmic Smash
2001
I wanna see a VR version of this game, not only because it sounds particularly fun but because I think it has the potential to be the game with the most amount of broken furniture compilations on Youtube, rivaling accidental strapless WiiMote throws.
Raid: Shadow Legends
2018
Hello gamers! As part of my list, in this review I'll talk about the famous mobile RPG, RAID: Shadow Legends™️.
RAID: Shadow Legends™ is an immersive online experience, and totally free to download! Currently over 50 million players have tried Raid: Shadow Legends™ as it's celebrating it's 5th year anniversary right now!
Now, I know you have seen a hundred ads talking about this game online, but I actually tried it out and it's all true! It's got a fully voiced tutorial, a storyline that crosses over an animated series, awesome 3D graphics, giant boss fights, PVP battles, and hundreds of never before seen champions to collect and customize. And you better treasure the champions you get, because it's very hard to get new epic level or higher ones.
Every champion has 6 equipment slots that you can upgrade with silver, and you need from 4 to 6 champions for a full team. This will mean a lot of work and time playing this fantastic game, and once you get your powerful team ready after a long grind you'll feel a sense of pride and accomplishment!
With the 5th anniversary celebrations, there are special events running right now to get some great in-game goodies to help you get a head start. And don't forget to input your first time player promotional code! Using the special code, you can get Silver immediately, and a FREE Epic Level Champion as part of the new players program, courtesy of course of the RAID: Shadow Legends™️ devs. After all of that you'll be ready to blitz through the storyline in auto!
So go ahead and try RAID: Shadow Legends™️ by visiting your mobile app store of choice, and remember, this game is absolutely free!✱
✱Contains In-app purchases
Items are available for purchase in this game. Some paid items may not be refundable depending on the type of item.
Raid: Shadow Legends allows you to subscribe to special Raid Cards. Raid Cards will automatically renew after the specified period unless otherwise cancelled.
• 1 Month Silver Raid Card with a FREE 7 Day Trial - $9.99 (First week is free, after that the Card is automatically renewed each month for $9.99. Can be cancelled at any time within the first 6 days of the Trial Period without charge).
• 1 Month Silver Raid Card - $9.99 (The Card is automatically renewed each month for $9.99).
• 6 Month Gold Raid Card - $49.99 (The Card is automatically renewed every 6 months for $49.99).
Raid Cards are a subscription purchase. Payment will be charged to your Account at confirmation of purchase. The subscription automatically renews unless auto-renew is turned off at least 24-hours before the end of the current period.
RAID: Shadow Legends™ is an immersive online experience, and totally free to download! Currently over 50 million players have tried Raid: Shadow Legends™ as it's celebrating it's 5th year anniversary right now!
Now, I know you have seen a hundred ads talking about this game online, but I actually tried it out and it's all true! It's got a fully voiced tutorial, a storyline that crosses over an animated series, awesome 3D graphics, giant boss fights, PVP battles, and hundreds of never before seen champions to collect and customize. And you better treasure the champions you get, because it's very hard to get new epic level or higher ones.
Every champion has 6 equipment slots that you can upgrade with silver, and you need from 4 to 6 champions for a full team. This will mean a lot of work and time playing this fantastic game, and once you get your powerful team ready after a long grind you'll feel a sense of pride and accomplishment!
With the 5th anniversary celebrations, there are special events running right now to get some great in-game goodies to help you get a head start. And don't forget to input your first time player promotional code! Using the special code, you can get Silver immediately, and a FREE Epic Level Champion as part of the new players program, courtesy of course of the RAID: Shadow Legends™️ devs. After all of that you'll be ready to blitz through the storyline in auto!
So go ahead and try RAID: Shadow Legends™️ by visiting your mobile app store of choice, and remember, this game is absolutely free!✱
✱Contains In-app purchases
Items are available for purchase in this game. Some paid items may not be refundable depending on the type of item.
Raid: Shadow Legends allows you to subscribe to special Raid Cards. Raid Cards will automatically renew after the specified period unless otherwise cancelled.
• 1 Month Silver Raid Card with a FREE 7 Day Trial - $9.99 (First week is free, after that the Card is automatically renewed each month for $9.99. Can be cancelled at any time within the first 6 days of the Trial Period without charge).
• 1 Month Silver Raid Card - $9.99 (The Card is automatically renewed each month for $9.99).
• 6 Month Gold Raid Card - $49.99 (The Card is automatically renewed every 6 months for $49.99).
Raid Cards are a subscription purchase. Payment will be charged to your Account at confirmation of purchase. The subscription automatically renews unless auto-renew is turned off at least 24-hours before the end of the current period.
Thief Gold
1999
*2 hours before finishing the game*
man the only way I'd give this below 4.5 is if the last couple of missions are suddenly really shit and focused on the 1-button combat system instead of actually thieving *looks directly into camera*
man the only way I'd give this below 4.5 is if the last couple of missions are suddenly really shit and focused on the 1-button combat system instead of actually thieving *looks directly into camera*
Game solely made to be played by Guatemalan children to occupy their attention away from their parents divorcing
Cold Fear
2005
Everybody compares this to Resident Evil 4 but there's a far better - and more fascinating, in terms of considering the dev process/timelines involved - comparison: Resident Evil 3.5, the original version of Resident Evil 4 that they scrapped before pivoting towards the what they eventually released as the classic everyone remembers in 2005. Even a cursory look at when the final RE4 and Cold Fear were announced/shown will tell you that any influence from the former on the latter, if indeed there was any at all, had to be minimal at most.
This game and RE3.5 on the other hand do have one, compellingly specific key thing in common. In the final RE4 the camera was always behind Leon's back, for both normal movement and aiming. This of course eschewed the series conventions of fixed camera angles. In RE3.5 they had the fixed camera angles (with some shifting) but would switch to the over the shoulder view as you aimed your gun. Cold Fear doesn't have strictly fixed camera angles at all times but it has a lot of them and implements this exact same camera dynamic in many cirucmstances. Watch this gameplay for a bit and then go back to the RE3.5 footage linked above.
They're really close! Whether this is the Cold Fear team seeing that early RE3.5 footage (the gameplay linked was first shown at E3 2003) and taking influence or just two companies converging on the same idea I've obviously no clue. Darkworks' previous game, Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare, was already a fixed camera survival horror so it's a not a huge leap to make. Regardless, it's a curious little detail of gaming history that things played out this way. The ideas of one project that never saw fruition in their original context instead coming to the fore in a game from a different company, only for that game to be consigned to the bargain bin of history as a 'clone' of that original project's final outcome.
This game and RE3.5 on the other hand do have one, compellingly specific key thing in common. In the final RE4 the camera was always behind Leon's back, for both normal movement and aiming. This of course eschewed the series conventions of fixed camera angles. In RE3.5 they had the fixed camera angles (with some shifting) but would switch to the over the shoulder view as you aimed your gun. Cold Fear doesn't have strictly fixed camera angles at all times but it has a lot of them and implements this exact same camera dynamic in many cirucmstances. Watch this gameplay for a bit and then go back to the RE3.5 footage linked above.
They're really close! Whether this is the Cold Fear team seeing that early RE3.5 footage (the gameplay linked was first shown at E3 2003) and taking influence or just two companies converging on the same idea I've obviously no clue. Darkworks' previous game, Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare, was already a fixed camera survival horror so it's a not a huge leap to make. Regardless, it's a curious little detail of gaming history that things played out this way. The ideas of one project that never saw fruition in their original context instead coming to the fore in a game from a different company, only for that game to be consigned to the bargain bin of history as a 'clone' of that original project's final outcome.
collect x amount of x item
race this guy
bash into these cars
rinse and repeat. the whole game. and everything is timed
also i get it reckless driving bad but how do the devs expect u to drive in a video game without hitting anything especially during timed missions
race this guy
bash into these cars
rinse and repeat. the whole game. and everything is timed
also i get it reckless driving bad but how do the devs expect u to drive in a video game without hitting anything especially during timed missions
Marcianito Go
2016
I can't believe this is on this site
Terrible meme game released at the height of Pokemon GO's popularity.
Solo recuerdo descargarlo para bromear con mis amigos que habia capturado aliens 100% reales no fake. Buenos tiempos.
Terrible meme game released at the height of Pokemon GO's popularity.
Solo recuerdo descargarlo para bromear con mis amigos que habia capturado aliens 100% reales no fake. Buenos tiempos.
Contra: Hard Corps
1994
Like with Castlevania, the Contra franchise, at this point in time, was on a seemingly perfect streak, releasing some of, if not THE best run ‘n gun games of the 8-bit and 16-bit eras, giving the player plenty of fast-paced, action packed gameplay with some fantastic visuals that only a few others were able to replicate. They were all some of the best third-party games that you could get from a Nintendo console, right alongside other heavy hitters on those systems, but in terms of any games from this series from Sega’s systems, they were left high and dry of any of that sweet Contra goodness. It didn’t really matter too much, cause they had Gunstar Heroes, which was already just as great as Contra, but thankfully, like with Castlevania: Bloodlines, Konami would give the Sega Genesis a taste of what Contra could really do, and they would release Contra: Hard Corps.
Honestly, I didn’t expect too much when it came to this particular entry in the series. I thought it was gonna be great, of course, but I didn’t think it was really gonna do anything that ground-breaking for the series, and would just serve as another entry, not being able to top The Alien Wars in terms of sheer quality. However, after playing it, I realize now that I was wrong. Dead wrong. Even after one playthrough of the game, I knew that this game was absolutely fantastic, but after seeing all that this game has to offer, I can say with confidence that it is PHENOMENAL, and without a doubt the best entry in the series so far. Sure, I guess I could find some nitpicks in it if I looked hard enough, but even then, none of that would stand in the way from the gargantuan amount of fun that I was having with it, and I am so glad I finally checked it out after so long.
The story is mostly what you expect from a Contra game, where in the year 2641, crime has run rampant as a result of the events of The Alien Wars, which results in the formation of the Contra Hard Corps to fight back against it, and one day, when a mysterious hacker reprograms a bunch of robots to cause even more destruction around the world, it is up to the Hard Corps to destroy them all and find out what is going on, which is as simplistic as one of these game’s plots can get, but at the same time, I am having too much fun to care. The graphics are fantastic, being one of the best looking games I have seen on the system, while delivering plenty of great effects, wonderful designs of characters and bosses, and environments for you to blast your way through, the music is, of course, incredible, since it is a Konami game from the 90’s, although a lot of the tracks do sound very similar to each other, but I didn’t mind that all too much, the control is just as tight and responsive as ever, although it did take a bit to get used to the new mechanics the game offered, but it wasn’t a deal breaker at all, and the gameplay was mostly the same run ‘n gun action we know and love, but expanded on even further to make it near perfect in my eyes.
The game is a run ‘n gun game, where you take control of one of the Contra Hard Corps, including Ray Poward, Sheena Etranzi, Brad Fang, and Browny (ok, not gonna lie, those names are pretty bad, even for a 90’s game), go through many different stages through plenty of different environments, even if they aren’t too creative or different from other titles in the series, run, jump, and shoot through many different foes as you do your best to survive the onslaught that is laid out before you, gather plenty of different weapons and bombs along the way to give yourself a fighting edge over your foes, and take on some truly unforgettable bosses, which will test your skill and reflexes in the best ways possible. Those who are well versed with Contra games will be able to jump right in and have a great time, which definitely was the case for me, while also being able to enjoy the new elements implemented to make the game much more enjoyable.
The game plays pretty similarly to any other Contra game, where you run through linear stages, shoot every single thing that moves, and gather plenty of badass weapons to use to help you out throughout your journey, but there are new features here that make the game much more fun to play, even when it was already great to begin with. First of all, in terms of controls, you now have a brand new sliding maneuver that you can use, which becomes very helpful in certain scenarios, and there is also an option now to choose what type of shooting style you want to work with throughout the game… and by that, I mean it makes it so that you either stay still while shooting or move around. This change may not sound like a big deal to most, but for me, it is what I have been waiting for ever since I first played the original game. While it was never that big of an issue, one of my biggest pet peeves with this game, or any other run ‘n gun game, was how whenever you would be aiming diagonally towards an enemy, most of the time, you would run in the direction you are holding, and thus, make shooting in said direction more stressful than it needed to be. Now, you can switch between moving and not moving at any time, which cements this as being perfection in video game form, and you cannot tell me otherwise.
Not only that, but there are also the ACTUAL new features that the game has, such as the case with the weapons. In every previous game in this series, whenever you got a new weapon from a capsule, it would automatically replace the weapon you currently had, which can be useful most of the time, but it can also be a detriment when you have a really good weapon that you don’t want to lose. Here, however, you can carry multiple weapons all at once, being able to switch between them at any time, and whenever you die, you lose the weapon you are currently holding rather than all of them. Again, that kind of shit may not matter so much to some, but this is EVERYTHING to me, as it allows the player to have a fighting chance in many cases, even after death, and makes the game that much more fun and exciting.
And finally, for the last, and definitely the best change that the game makes to the series, is the branching paths. At certain points throughout the game, you will be given the choice to go to one of two different routes, which not only determines what happens in the story, but it also determines what stage you will go to next. There aren’t that many of these choices throughout the game, but there are many different combinations you can make with choosing specific options. For example, in one part, you can choose to chase after this guy named Deadeye Joe, and later down the road, you can choose to fight to the end when faced against a seemingly unwinnable situation. That all leads down one path already, full of plenty of stages that you can have fun with, but then, in another playthrough, you can choose to still chase after Deadeye Joe, but you can also choose to surrender to said unwinnable situation, which leads to an entirely new path full of unique stages, bosses, and story elements. All of this leads to the possibility of getting six different endings, from the best ending to the worst ending, which creates plenty of replay value for those that loved the game already, while also providing a lot of content to experience.
I genuinely can’t think of any actual issues that I have with this game, I had that much of a great time with it. If I had to say anything, I could say that, like with most other Contra games, this game is (no pun intended) pretty goddamn hard, I’d argue even more so than the other games in the series, since there is no option to change the difficulty around, and there isn’t any Konami code to save you this time (unless you are playing the Japanese version). But thankfully, from what I experienced, not much of that difficulty is really all that bad, and there is also the possibility that you could… you know… get good. That’s what I had to do, and it was all the more satisfying because of it.
Overall, despite how the difficulty of the game will still make sure to give you a good ol’ kick in the teeth, this is, in my opinion, the best Contra game so far, and one of the best run ‘n gun games I have ever played, being a non-stop wave of energy, action, and entertainment from start to finish, while offering plenty of desired changes and content to where I didn’t want to stop playing even when it was all said and done. I would absolutely recommend it for those who are big fans of the Contra series, as well as those who love run ‘n gun games in general, because, in my opinion, this game gives you practically everything you could ever want from one of these games, especially from this era. Although, now that all of that is said and done, I can’t help but feel a little upset, because since this game is pretty much perfect, none of the other Contra games after this will be able to reach the same quality as this. But hey, I am willing to see how they will try… and fail horribly.
Game #514
Honestly, I didn’t expect too much when it came to this particular entry in the series. I thought it was gonna be great, of course, but I didn’t think it was really gonna do anything that ground-breaking for the series, and would just serve as another entry, not being able to top The Alien Wars in terms of sheer quality. However, after playing it, I realize now that I was wrong. Dead wrong. Even after one playthrough of the game, I knew that this game was absolutely fantastic, but after seeing all that this game has to offer, I can say with confidence that it is PHENOMENAL, and without a doubt the best entry in the series so far. Sure, I guess I could find some nitpicks in it if I looked hard enough, but even then, none of that would stand in the way from the gargantuan amount of fun that I was having with it, and I am so glad I finally checked it out after so long.
The story is mostly what you expect from a Contra game, where in the year 2641, crime has run rampant as a result of the events of The Alien Wars, which results in the formation of the Contra Hard Corps to fight back against it, and one day, when a mysterious hacker reprograms a bunch of robots to cause even more destruction around the world, it is up to the Hard Corps to destroy them all and find out what is going on, which is as simplistic as one of these game’s plots can get, but at the same time, I am having too much fun to care. The graphics are fantastic, being one of the best looking games I have seen on the system, while delivering plenty of great effects, wonderful designs of characters and bosses, and environments for you to blast your way through, the music is, of course, incredible, since it is a Konami game from the 90’s, although a lot of the tracks do sound very similar to each other, but I didn’t mind that all too much, the control is just as tight and responsive as ever, although it did take a bit to get used to the new mechanics the game offered, but it wasn’t a deal breaker at all, and the gameplay was mostly the same run ‘n gun action we know and love, but expanded on even further to make it near perfect in my eyes.
The game is a run ‘n gun game, where you take control of one of the Contra Hard Corps, including Ray Poward, Sheena Etranzi, Brad Fang, and Browny (ok, not gonna lie, those names are pretty bad, even for a 90’s game), go through many different stages through plenty of different environments, even if they aren’t too creative or different from other titles in the series, run, jump, and shoot through many different foes as you do your best to survive the onslaught that is laid out before you, gather plenty of different weapons and bombs along the way to give yourself a fighting edge over your foes, and take on some truly unforgettable bosses, which will test your skill and reflexes in the best ways possible. Those who are well versed with Contra games will be able to jump right in and have a great time, which definitely was the case for me, while also being able to enjoy the new elements implemented to make the game much more enjoyable.
The game plays pretty similarly to any other Contra game, where you run through linear stages, shoot every single thing that moves, and gather plenty of badass weapons to use to help you out throughout your journey, but there are new features here that make the game much more fun to play, even when it was already great to begin with. First of all, in terms of controls, you now have a brand new sliding maneuver that you can use, which becomes very helpful in certain scenarios, and there is also an option now to choose what type of shooting style you want to work with throughout the game… and by that, I mean it makes it so that you either stay still while shooting or move around. This change may not sound like a big deal to most, but for me, it is what I have been waiting for ever since I first played the original game. While it was never that big of an issue, one of my biggest pet peeves with this game, or any other run ‘n gun game, was how whenever you would be aiming diagonally towards an enemy, most of the time, you would run in the direction you are holding, and thus, make shooting in said direction more stressful than it needed to be. Now, you can switch between moving and not moving at any time, which cements this as being perfection in video game form, and you cannot tell me otherwise.
Not only that, but there are also the ACTUAL new features that the game has, such as the case with the weapons. In every previous game in this series, whenever you got a new weapon from a capsule, it would automatically replace the weapon you currently had, which can be useful most of the time, but it can also be a detriment when you have a really good weapon that you don’t want to lose. Here, however, you can carry multiple weapons all at once, being able to switch between them at any time, and whenever you die, you lose the weapon you are currently holding rather than all of them. Again, that kind of shit may not matter so much to some, but this is EVERYTHING to me, as it allows the player to have a fighting chance in many cases, even after death, and makes the game that much more fun and exciting.
And finally, for the last, and definitely the best change that the game makes to the series, is the branching paths. At certain points throughout the game, you will be given the choice to go to one of two different routes, which not only determines what happens in the story, but it also determines what stage you will go to next. There aren’t that many of these choices throughout the game, but there are many different combinations you can make with choosing specific options. For example, in one part, you can choose to chase after this guy named Deadeye Joe, and later down the road, you can choose to fight to the end when faced against a seemingly unwinnable situation. That all leads down one path already, full of plenty of stages that you can have fun with, but then, in another playthrough, you can choose to still chase after Deadeye Joe, but you can also choose to surrender to said unwinnable situation, which leads to an entirely new path full of unique stages, bosses, and story elements. All of this leads to the possibility of getting six different endings, from the best ending to the worst ending, which creates plenty of replay value for those that loved the game already, while also providing a lot of content to experience.
I genuinely can’t think of any actual issues that I have with this game, I had that much of a great time with it. If I had to say anything, I could say that, like with most other Contra games, this game is (no pun intended) pretty goddamn hard, I’d argue even more so than the other games in the series, since there is no option to change the difficulty around, and there isn’t any Konami code to save you this time (unless you are playing the Japanese version). But thankfully, from what I experienced, not much of that difficulty is really all that bad, and there is also the possibility that you could… you know… get good. That’s what I had to do, and it was all the more satisfying because of it.
Overall, despite how the difficulty of the game will still make sure to give you a good ol’ kick in the teeth, this is, in my opinion, the best Contra game so far, and one of the best run ‘n gun games I have ever played, being a non-stop wave of energy, action, and entertainment from start to finish, while offering plenty of desired changes and content to where I didn’t want to stop playing even when it was all said and done. I would absolutely recommend it for those who are big fans of the Contra series, as well as those who love run ‘n gun games in general, because, in my opinion, this game gives you practically everything you could ever want from one of these games, especially from this era. Although, now that all of that is said and done, I can’t help but feel a little upset, because since this game is pretty much perfect, none of the other Contra games after this will be able to reach the same quality as this. But hey, I am willing to see how they will try… and fail horribly.
Game #514
Yars' Revenge
1982
Yars’ Revenge was Atari’s best selling original title on the 2600, moving about a million copies. The “original title” parenthetical may make it sound like a qualified success, but if anything, it makes the accomplishment that much more impressive. To sell that many copies without the backing of a known brand, it really had to be exceptional, and this becomes apparent when looking at its “best selling original title” contemporaries from some Nintendo consoles:
NES: The Legend of Zelda
SNES: Star Fox
N64: Banjo Kazooie
GameCube: Animal Crossing
Wii: Wii Sports
These are some legendary and influential games, and Yars’ Revenge may even stand out among them, given how it had to compete in an era before games media was established enough to help level the field against popular licenses. So, now that the stage is set, go play Yars’ Revenge. I’m serious, you can find it online in about two seconds; if you search “Yars' revenge online” the first link will get you there.
If you’re anything like me, your first thought was “is this really the best the 2600 had to offer?”, and the second was “why am I not dealing any damage?”. A quick trip to the manual explains that the process of destroying the enemy base is much more involved than one might expect. First, you need to break down the barrier using your standard shots, while avoiding the missile that’s chasing you. Then, you have to touch the base itself to charge up your cannon, which shoots from the far left of the screen instead of from your actual character, and can destroy you or the base itself. So, what starts as mindless shooting quickly develops a surprising amount of strategy. Each mechanic was constructed with an advantage and a disadvantage, a purpose and a twist: you can shoot anytime, but you can’t destroy the enemy base that way. Your cannon actually can destroy the base, but hurts you as well. The neutral zone protects you from the missile, but not from the spirals the base shoots at you, and you can't shoot while inside it. Touching the base gives you a shot with the cannon, but approaching it is risky since it may start launching a spiral. The cannon shots fire from the left side of the screen, so even each side of the neutral zone has its own unique advantages, with the left side letting you dodge more easily, but reducing the safety of shooting the cannon, forcing you to switch sides to focus on offense or defense.
What I find beautiful about this design is how it’s a perfect model of what makes action games interesting, even forty years later. The genre is at its best when taking simple ideas and letting players discover the potential for combinations, like how red, green, and blue are all that’s needed to display sixteen million different colors on your screen. Yars’ revenge may only have about three things going on, but… that’s enough. It looks entirely unimpressive at first, but once you get a feel for how it plays, the quality that made it such a success shines though. I would easily say it earns its spot next to the likes of Star Fox, not just as a grandfather, but as an equal pioneer.
Addendum: Thanks to user Jamep for recommending this one on my dedicated list, I never would have found this game had you not recommended it.
NES: The Legend of Zelda
SNES: Star Fox
N64: Banjo Kazooie
GameCube: Animal Crossing
Wii: Wii Sports
These are some legendary and influential games, and Yars’ Revenge may even stand out among them, given how it had to compete in an era before games media was established enough to help level the field against popular licenses. So, now that the stage is set, go play Yars’ Revenge. I’m serious, you can find it online in about two seconds; if you search “Yars' revenge online” the first link will get you there.
If you’re anything like me, your first thought was “is this really the best the 2600 had to offer?”, and the second was “why am I not dealing any damage?”. A quick trip to the manual explains that the process of destroying the enemy base is much more involved than one might expect. First, you need to break down the barrier using your standard shots, while avoiding the missile that’s chasing you. Then, you have to touch the base itself to charge up your cannon, which shoots from the far left of the screen instead of from your actual character, and can destroy you or the base itself. So, what starts as mindless shooting quickly develops a surprising amount of strategy. Each mechanic was constructed with an advantage and a disadvantage, a purpose and a twist: you can shoot anytime, but you can’t destroy the enemy base that way. Your cannon actually can destroy the base, but hurts you as well. The neutral zone protects you from the missile, but not from the spirals the base shoots at you, and you can't shoot while inside it. Touching the base gives you a shot with the cannon, but approaching it is risky since it may start launching a spiral. The cannon shots fire from the left side of the screen, so even each side of the neutral zone has its own unique advantages, with the left side letting you dodge more easily, but reducing the safety of shooting the cannon, forcing you to switch sides to focus on offense or defense.
What I find beautiful about this design is how it’s a perfect model of what makes action games interesting, even forty years later. The genre is at its best when taking simple ideas and letting players discover the potential for combinations, like how red, green, and blue are all that’s needed to display sixteen million different colors on your screen. Yars’ revenge may only have about three things going on, but… that’s enough. It looks entirely unimpressive at first, but once you get a feel for how it plays, the quality that made it such a success shines though. I would easily say it earns its spot next to the likes of Star Fox, not just as a grandfather, but as an equal pioneer.
Addendum: Thanks to user Jamep for recommending this one on my dedicated list, I never would have found this game had you not recommended it.