This review contains spoilers
I have been trying to finish this game since 2013. When I was 11 I played up until Dragon Roost Cavern and stopped, too hard for my small child brain, I presumed. When I was 12 I played up until Dragon Roost Cavern, beat it, and then stopped, still too hard for my small child brain. When I was 15 I actually got to Forest Haven (dear god), but alas, I stopped, too hard and clunky for my zoomer mind.
This time I tried, I really tried. I'm an adult man now, I've got the patience to suffer through the worst shit imaginable, I've got a walkthrough to help me navigate around the patented "gamecube horseshit", I have so, so much free time. And, to be fair, I got quite far this time; I did Forest Haven, I suffered through the tower of the gods, I did some of the worst side quests I think I've ever seen in a video game.
The earth temple broke me. I can't do this shit. I do not understand how anyone can think this is fun, It's some of the most jank shit imaginable. I can feel my blood pressure rising every time I jump off a small ledge while carrying Medli and then go flying into a wall. The arseholes over at Nintendo who designed this made one of the coolest worlds and traversal mechanics in any game ever and then buried it under an ocean of shit.
Hope to god Nintendo revisits the pirate theme for a future Zelda game because I would devour it.
This time I tried, I really tried. I'm an adult man now, I've got the patience to suffer through the worst shit imaginable, I've got a walkthrough to help me navigate around the patented "gamecube horseshit", I have so, so much free time. And, to be fair, I got quite far this time; I did Forest Haven, I suffered through the tower of the gods, I did some of the worst side quests I think I've ever seen in a video game.
The earth temple broke me. I can't do this shit. I do not understand how anyone can think this is fun, It's some of the most jank shit imaginable. I can feel my blood pressure rising every time I jump off a small ledge while carrying Medli and then go flying into a wall. The arseholes over at Nintendo who designed this made one of the coolest worlds and traversal mechanics in any game ever and then buried it under an ocean of shit.
Hope to god Nintendo revisits the pirate theme for a future Zelda game because I would devour it.
2022
The exact same as Two Point Hospital; really fun for the first 7 or so hours, and then the dopamine dries up as your brain realises that you're just doing the same shit over and over again.
Muting the intercom and DJ is also borderline essential to avoid the "hilarious" comedic bits. Should honestly ship with them muted by default and turning them on is locked behind a new 'Survival' mode.
Muting the intercom and DJ is also borderline essential to avoid the "hilarious" comedic bits. Should honestly ship with them muted by default and turning them on is locked behind a new 'Survival' mode.
2016
So much better on a second play-through (at least for me). Wonderfully immersive when you know what you're doing and you're not stopping and starting every 20 seconds for a puzzle. Such a beautifully constructed world, with so many tiny little details that really sell the realism of the place you're walking through. The sound design is gorgeous, especially for the underwater stuff (some of the best water levels in any game right here) and the animation work for... that thing is exceptionally good, I have no clue how they even pulled it off.
2022
Loved that music video.
2022
I kinda resent this exact genre (don't know why I keep playing them honestly). They're not even really games, they're movies with little mini-games sprinkled in, and even then, the mini-games are barely even games, they're on the same level as those sliding ball things that kids play with in a waiting room. It's such a glorified waste of the medium, if you're going to make a game, make a game; if you want to make something that's story heavy, use game mechanics to help tell that story (or just make a fucking movie). Don't hand me a pixar short film and then "enhance" it with the very gripping 'clear the screen for the 10th time' mini-game.
2012
Why did they make teddie so fucking horny?
2019
Was kind of hoping that Inscryption wouldn't be a one-off and I might enjoy some more card games if I just stuck with them for longer than 5 minutes, but nah, I do not enjoy them. Played a couple of hours on and off on the deck but I cannot foresee a universe where I will enjoy this any more than a sudoku on my phone.
Side Note: For some reason the steam deck controls were really jank for me. Controlled well when it worked, but every few minutes it just decided to not let me use a card. Swapping to the touch screen solved it, but then the touch screen controls broke five minutes later, so then I had to swap back to the sticks. Really bizarre, no clue what could even cause that.
Side Note: For some reason the steam deck controls were really jank for me. Controlled well when it worked, but every few minutes it just decided to not let me use a card. Swapping to the touch screen solved it, but then the touch screen controls broke five minutes later, so then I had to swap back to the sticks. Really bizarre, no clue what could even cause that.
2020
No checkpoints before boss fights? Alright. (uninstalls)
Bro if you're going to go through all the effort of remaking a PS2 game can you at least make it not control like absolute shit please.
2022
Another Annapurna Interactive banger for the books.
2017
Went in expecting a stripped-back Inside knock off and I got an Inside knock-off that I somehow enjoyed more than Inside. Gorgeous environments to run around, puzzles that aren't just trial and error horseshit, some really cool worldbuilding and atmosphere. Wears its influences like a badge of honour and builds on top of them to make something fresh that stands on its own. Really loved this.
2021
My brain releases dopamine when I clean dirty object and it makes nice noise when I do a good job.
Viscera Cleanup Detail is a game where you do chores but manages to disguise that fact with fun game design. In this game, it's just chores. I could be cleaning my room, I could be cleaning my car, I could be doing anything else and instead I'm cleaning digital objects until a nice noise plays.
Bloody relaxing though, side note: I need to book a doctor's appointment to check if I have ADHD.
Viscera Cleanup Detail is a game where you do chores but manages to disguise that fact with fun game design. In this game, it's just chores. I could be cleaning my room, I could be cleaning my car, I could be doing anything else and instead I'm cleaning digital objects until a nice noise plays.
Bloody relaxing though, side note: I need to book a doctor's appointment to check if I have ADHD.
This one is much less horseshit than the original but I think I just prefer the simplicity of the first more? I love the speed ramps especially, they're just not a thing in the sequel, which is a shame.
I never finished the trilogy when I played it on PS4 and now I remember why. Very fun gameplay in short bursts but when you've got 3 games worth of the stuff to get through it just becomes boring. Not going to bother with three, I think if I did my brain might fold in on itself.
I never finished the trilogy when I played it on PS4 and now I remember why. Very fun gameplay in short bursts but when you've got 3 games worth of the stuff to get through it just becomes boring. Not going to bother with three, I think if I did my brain might fold in on itself.
Wouldn't be me, making a video review about a game I played?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9d6iuAbrGo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9d6iuAbrGo
2021
Lots to love here. Thought this was going to be a souls-like that was complete horseshit, but it turned out to be a hollow knight-like that was only complete horseshit in one or two very small sections. More games with fun combat and great exploration that aren't also hard as nails please.