6 is the only good one and even then it's still the fangame equivalent of bashing your favorite toys against each other but I'll be damned if 10 year old me didn't think this was goated.
1999
Might be fun with friends but I'll be damned if the A.I on this isn't some Grade A bullshit. The CPU doesn't even try fighting you because it knows the optimal strategy is to get the 3 power stones which for an arena fighting game is the equivalent of having a smash ball available at every instance in a smash game. Also the final boss is stupid and unfun like most final bosses in fighting games at the time. Cool everything else though.
This review contains spoilers
First thing I did after booting off the game was watch the episode where Chef Dies
Which one sucks blood?
-Mosquitoes
-Bears
-POLITICIANS
Look, I know I picked the wrong option, but deep down you know I'm right.
-Mosquitoes
-Bears
-POLITICIANS
Look, I know I picked the wrong option, but deep down you know I'm right.
2000
Eu tenho certeza que este jogo está tentando soltar alguma mensagem sobre a vida, o amor, a nossa responsabilidade perante outras criaturas menores entre outras boiolagens hippies que estou de acordo, mas tudo isso está escondido abaixo de um gameplay obtuso e absolutamente sem direção que praticamente lhe requer um guia para fazer qualquer ação para progredir já que o jogo não usa diálogo, texto ou instruções claras sequer em seu manual. Tenho pena das crianças sem acesso fácil a internet de 2000 que tentaram zerar esse jogo porque é a sensação de tentar enfiar um quadrado no buraco do triângulo.
- I don't want to die! Dies
- My god :l
Your sense of humor is dead if you can't have fun with this dub.
- My god :l
Your sense of humor is dead if you can't have fun with this dub.
1991
I still have PTSD whenever I hear "TIGER! TIGER! TIGER UPPERCUT!"
2001
Goated
2001
Prime example of style over substance. The Mechs are badass and so is the techno soundtrack, but then you get to the gameplay and it's 4 hours of padding of what should at most be a 2 hour game. The backtracking, the long winded word salad that Kojima is known for (only this time it's for menial shit like "you got an item" getting turned into a paragraph's worth of information by an annoying robot voice) all culminate in a potent, repetitive squashing of a potentially fantastic game.
Shit feels like you're eating frosted flakes with water, I'd rather have it raw and unpolished like the first one than with whatever shit you're trying to mix with that clearly doesn't add up
Anti imperialist masterpiece of a story, it's like if Fullmetal Alchemist had the balls to have good political takes
Gameplay is just aight.
Gameplay is just aight.
2015
The fact that the Nostalgia Critic was indirectly responsible in putting the studio that would eventually revive Streets of Rage on the map makes Doug Walker a far more important figure in the gaming industry than the AVGN could ever hope to be and I honestly think that's hilarious.
The real ones know he was always the better talent of the two anyway. I'll remember it so you don't have to.
The real ones know he was always the better talent of the two anyway. I'll remember it so you don't have to.
2001
Yawns
You know, it's hard to approach games that have a cult following such as Silent Hill and express your thoughts without sounding like a contrarian, so let me go on a tangent that will eventually bounce back to the topic at hand.
I don't like Fist Of The North Star. I am greatly aware of it's influences in Shonen and manga across it's 40 year legacy, but even if I discount the fact that everything after Raoh is padded out dog water, the overall portrayal of masculinity feels like it grows farther and farther from what current standards of what encompasses being manly. We've grown past the whole "men should die in wars because women can't fend off for themselves" idea of masculinity as we came to terms that being manly nowadays means going to the gym and making dick jokes with the boys and how we can still be men without killing ourselves over menial causes.
Of course you might say "Takumi, that's neither here or there, is it? It's easy to dislike Fist Of The North Star when every single one of the series you consider better has directly taken inspiration from it's themes and brought it into contexts that strike a stronger chord with you."
See that's the thing, I have read mangas books and films that date even further back than FotNS and I still had plenty of fun like Ashita No Joe, Osamu Tezuka's Phoenix or what have you. What might age badly in someone's eyes has not so much in particular with how old the product is, but what one considers outdated by design and personal preference.
It is hard to get over the Seinfeld is Unfunny effect when everything about Silent Hill 2 has been overdone to death by modern horror games. And while that is not exactly SH2's fault, It also has kickstarted a lot of tropes I tend to hate in survival horror games, particularly walking aimlessly around empty towns and solving menial puzzles that would take a tenth of it's time if I didn't have to go on fetch quests to find the items to even get started on solving said puzzles. Honestly I would go as far to say that games such as Amnesia, Fatal Frame and even Outlast have remedied this problem by ironing out the inherent boredom that SH gave us.
What seemed subtle at the time is now a by the numbers story that surprises no one even if they play it blindly. And aside from the predictable story, what else is there to enjoy at Silent Hill? The Voice Acting where everyone sounds as uninterested as I was when playing? The puppets on a string cutscene animations? The clunky combat?
Silent Hill does not offend, but it certainly does not impress.
You know, it's hard to approach games that have a cult following such as Silent Hill and express your thoughts without sounding like a contrarian, so let me go on a tangent that will eventually bounce back to the topic at hand.
I don't like Fist Of The North Star. I am greatly aware of it's influences in Shonen and manga across it's 40 year legacy, but even if I discount the fact that everything after Raoh is padded out dog water, the overall portrayal of masculinity feels like it grows farther and farther from what current standards of what encompasses being manly. We've grown past the whole "men should die in wars because women can't fend off for themselves" idea of masculinity as we came to terms that being manly nowadays means going to the gym and making dick jokes with the boys and how we can still be men without killing ourselves over menial causes.
Of course you might say "Takumi, that's neither here or there, is it? It's easy to dislike Fist Of The North Star when every single one of the series you consider better has directly taken inspiration from it's themes and brought it into contexts that strike a stronger chord with you."
See that's the thing, I have read mangas books and films that date even further back than FotNS and I still had plenty of fun like Ashita No Joe, Osamu Tezuka's Phoenix or what have you. What might age badly in someone's eyes has not so much in particular with how old the product is, but what one considers outdated by design and personal preference.
It is hard to get over the Seinfeld is Unfunny effect when everything about Silent Hill 2 has been overdone to death by modern horror games. And while that is not exactly SH2's fault, It also has kickstarted a lot of tropes I tend to hate in survival horror games, particularly walking aimlessly around empty towns and solving menial puzzles that would take a tenth of it's time if I didn't have to go on fetch quests to find the items to even get started on solving said puzzles. Honestly I would go as far to say that games such as Amnesia, Fatal Frame and even Outlast have remedied this problem by ironing out the inherent boredom that SH gave us.
What seemed subtle at the time is now a by the numbers story that surprises no one even if they play it blindly. And aside from the predictable story, what else is there to enjoy at Silent Hill? The Voice Acting where everyone sounds as uninterested as I was when playing? The puppets on a string cutscene animations? The clunky combat?
Silent Hill does not offend, but it certainly does not impress.
2008
Visual Novel writers will literally write a 20+ hour read about nothing of worth happening