515 reviews liked by averypaledog
Final Fantasy IX
2000
honestly feel like i should preface this with an apology but ff9 is kind of exhausting to me. it feels like going to a shift to work at a theme park; it's pretty and sweet, it's whimsical, and it has nice atmosphere and sometimes you even see your favorite characters walking around, but at the end of the day it's still a day of work to get through. going to just chalk it up as this one not being for me until a few years down the line where i yet again try to beat my head against this game until i like it
Persona 3 FES
2007
This review contains spoilers
um, nurse? we have a category 6 meltdown over here. ðŸ˜
i have had a quite the history with Persona 3 and its scattered forms (multiple starts and stops for FES, a short lived attempt at Portable before wanting to avoid the VN presentation for my first go, and more) so it feels quite strange to have actually seen it through. i'm sure some of my distaste for the other Persona games i've played (much moreso for 4 than 5) wasn't helping anything with me getting around to this but i'm glad it finally happened. this exceeded my (admittedly low) expectations and then some.
this is a massive beast of a game size wise so i'm going to be a bit scattershot in talking about a few things that stuck out to me in a significant way and leave it be.
probably the strongest element of the whole thing was the presentation as a full package. visuals across the board are an absolute feast whether it's in the mundane of day to day life, the persona and shadow designs, or the FMVs themselves (have i already mentioned that i'm glad i played this for my first P3 experience? it can be said again.) beyond this, the music is an absolute stunner. the game snatching my ass with multiple daily life song swaps makes the prevalence of Your Affection and Beneath the Mask (i like the latter but P5 is a long ass game for just the one track) a massive drag in hindsight. the sound and vibe tackled across the soundtrack aligns the most with my general taste so it's probably my favorite of the modern Persona trilogy in that regard.
elsewhere i found myself particularly impressed with the cast (both SEES and elsewhere) and social links almost universally. i cannot stress enough how much of a difference it makes that your dormmates feel like actual people with their own lives/things going on without centering themselves on you/the mc. scenes developing the characters by themselves or with each other away from the mc were among the best moments in the game. things like that either would've been shifted to include the mc or have not happened at all as most party member development is stuffed into the s links in 4/5.
the social links had a surprisingly solid batting average as well. kenji is a dumbass so his social link was a slog and the Hermit was a Mess (a bit of a gag but still) yet everything else ranged from passable to great. the Sun and Hierophant in particular were wonderful and my favorites across the series, i think?
before wrapping this up i'll mention the sense of intent behind most of game's design. things like the fatigue system, SEES members having their own availability, uncontrollable party members (the tactics system is fine, please spend 5 seconds playing around with it 💀), and even Tartarus itself might seem irritating in a vacuum or other experience but as it is here it gives the game such a sense of cohesion and personality. i 100% believe that all of these elements worked in the service of the story that the game told and made it hit all that much harder in the end.
not sure what else to really say, i could ramble on more but this is already disorganized and i think i've communicated how special this was to me in a sufficient fashion. never in a million years would i have expected to like a modern Persona game this much but i'm glad that i did. Portable and Reload are potential someday things but not for a very long time, The Answer is probably a full on pass because the dungeon crawling seems to be extremely difficult and i don't think this needs following up on in that way. or at least not how The Answer seems to go about it.
i have had a quite the history with Persona 3 and its scattered forms (multiple starts and stops for FES, a short lived attempt at Portable before wanting to avoid the VN presentation for my first go, and more) so it feels quite strange to have actually seen it through. i'm sure some of my distaste for the other Persona games i've played (much moreso for 4 than 5) wasn't helping anything with me getting around to this but i'm glad it finally happened. this exceeded my (admittedly low) expectations and then some.
this is a massive beast of a game size wise so i'm going to be a bit scattershot in talking about a few things that stuck out to me in a significant way and leave it be.
probably the strongest element of the whole thing was the presentation as a full package. visuals across the board are an absolute feast whether it's in the mundane of day to day life, the persona and shadow designs, or the FMVs themselves (have i already mentioned that i'm glad i played this for my first P3 experience? it can be said again.) beyond this, the music is an absolute stunner. the game snatching my ass with multiple daily life song swaps makes the prevalence of Your Affection and Beneath the Mask (i like the latter but P5 is a long ass game for just the one track) a massive drag in hindsight. the sound and vibe tackled across the soundtrack aligns the most with my general taste so it's probably my favorite of the modern Persona trilogy in that regard.
elsewhere i found myself particularly impressed with the cast (both SEES and elsewhere) and social links almost universally. i cannot stress enough how much of a difference it makes that your dormmates feel like actual people with their own lives/things going on without centering themselves on you/the mc. scenes developing the characters by themselves or with each other away from the mc were among the best moments in the game. things like that either would've been shifted to include the mc or have not happened at all as most party member development is stuffed into the s links in 4/5.
the social links had a surprisingly solid batting average as well. kenji is a dumbass so his social link was a slog and the Hermit was a Mess (a bit of a gag but still) yet everything else ranged from passable to great. the Sun and Hierophant in particular were wonderful and my favorites across the series, i think?
before wrapping this up i'll mention the sense of intent behind most of game's design. things like the fatigue system, SEES members having their own availability, uncontrollable party members (the tactics system is fine, please spend 5 seconds playing around with it 💀), and even Tartarus itself might seem irritating in a vacuum or other experience but as it is here it gives the game such a sense of cohesion and personality. i 100% believe that all of these elements worked in the service of the story that the game told and made it hit all that much harder in the end.
not sure what else to really say, i could ramble on more but this is already disorganized and i think i've communicated how special this was to me in a sufficient fashion. never in a million years would i have expected to like a modern Persona game this much but i'm glad that i did. Portable and Reload are potential someday things but not for a very long time, The Answer is probably a full on pass because the dungeon crawling seems to be extremely difficult and i don't think this needs following up on in that way. or at least not how The Answer seems to go about it.
It's actually a common misconception that this is a video game because it's instead a list of bullet points on what your new personality is going to be.
Lowering this by an extra point immediately after finishing MGS2 because doing that has made me realize just how much this is that game if it was completely dripless
Metroid
1986
The online discourse for this game is baffling. If I'd listened to the current consensus, then I would have avoided all but a handful of NES games, because they're apparently unfun, dated junk.
I decided to give the original Metroid a shot anyway, and I'm floored. This game is spectacular. Some of the music tracks are among the best I've ever heard. The atmosphere is as thick as butter. The world is enormous and labyrinthian. I felt a sense of vertigo uncovering side passage after side passage in areas I'd previously explored, realizing the map was at least double the size than I'd previously thought.
People are playing this game wrong. Don't use a guide, just read the manual. Be frustrated, and learn the game. This isn't a walk in the park. This is an expedition to a hostile alien fortress.
All I remember about this game is the rather inspired Wolverine boss fight where he pins you down several times to quiz you on actual Spider-Man trivia to see if you're the real Peter Parker. That's pretty good.
Actually I do remember one other thing: that one cutscene of Spider-Man walking sadly across a skyscraper rooftop in slow motion as tons of soldiers are fighting Symbiote creatures and dying. It gets paired up with the song from that similar moment in the anime Tokyo Ghoul a lot.
Actually I do remember one other thing: that one cutscene of Spider-Man walking sadly across a skyscraper rooftop in slow motion as tons of soldiers are fighting Symbiote creatures and dying. It gets paired up with the song from that similar moment in the anime Tokyo Ghoul a lot.
there's very little when it comes to nice things i have say about this game so let me begin with something that i did like before getting into it fully. Connor as a character is interesting and among the best across the series bringing a breath of fresh air to things. i'll go one further and say that Haytham was also solid and i enjoyed their relationship dynamic. if it wasn't for this i'm not sure if i would've been able to finish this, even when rushing the mainline content as i did in the end.
with that out of the way, what the hell happened here? i've never considered myself an Assassin's Creed fan (I was interesting but highly flawed while doing massive damage in terms of influence for the medium, II was a surprise improvement but just fine mainly, Brotherhood and Revelations were solid music listening/multitasking games but gave diminishing returns) by any means but the games had felt mechanically sound for the most part before this. Assassin's Creed III throws everything and the kitchen sink into its gameplay systems and nails nothing.
perhaps my biggest complaint is the setting shift. i'm not going to get into the story or anything of the sort here but from a gameplay standpoint, it was a complete mistake in my opinion. taking a series known for its movement systems and putting it in a place where you have barely any vertical movement options is one of the most baffling decisions i can think of. they attempted to remedy this with tree climbing (which again feels busted as does most of the rest of the gameplay here <3) and scripted movements through buildings when entering a door or window but it's a poor replacement. when you get out of the more residential areas of the map into the wilderness it gets even worse as it's just vast empty space which is miserable to navigate (especially when it is snowy).
elsewhere stuff like the combat takes a step down too. combat in the previous entries was never a strong suit but it was at least painless in the mediocrity. here you can see movements made towards trying to improve everything but it doesn't pan out to me. i'm not sure how much of it is III itself or maybe the remaster being fucked up but the game feels like it has this weird animation priority to all of its movements which leads to problems with counters not even registering half the time. some contextual environmental based attacks were added among other things but as i have brought up like three times now elsewhere, it feels half baked. Connor is an absolute beast in combat so most of it goes by quickly still but i 100% would've taken what we had before still.
this leaves me with the pacing which might have damned the full thing in the end. i have played and loved a lot of slow burn games over the years so know that it doesn't come lightly when i say that this is one of the slowest games i have ever played. you don't even get around to playing as the actual main character for a couple of sequences into the game and then you don't even get your actual assassin's robes for another few after that. i don't mind a build up for things but when the surroundings are so rotten it just was too much. you bounce from one gameplay element to the next constantly in a state of tutorials for what feels like 75% of the game.
somewhere within all the bloat the game sees fit to introduce a half baked hunting system which barely works, naval combat (which i hope is improved in Black Flag or that shit is going to be miserable too lmao), and even a crafting system that i somehow didn't even notice or come across with nearly 22 hours in the game. just a smothering sense of excess. literally don't know how this game even came together, even as it is within Ubisoft's unhinged annual release format of the time period. genuinely feel so bad for anyone who was working there.
gonna need a long break before i move onto Black Flag at this point.
with that out of the way, what the hell happened here? i've never considered myself an Assassin's Creed fan (I was interesting but highly flawed while doing massive damage in terms of influence for the medium, II was a surprise improvement but just fine mainly, Brotherhood and Revelations were solid music listening/multitasking games but gave diminishing returns) by any means but the games had felt mechanically sound for the most part before this. Assassin's Creed III throws everything and the kitchen sink into its gameplay systems and nails nothing.
perhaps my biggest complaint is the setting shift. i'm not going to get into the story or anything of the sort here but from a gameplay standpoint, it was a complete mistake in my opinion. taking a series known for its movement systems and putting it in a place where you have barely any vertical movement options is one of the most baffling decisions i can think of. they attempted to remedy this with tree climbing (which again feels busted as does most of the rest of the gameplay here <3) and scripted movements through buildings when entering a door or window but it's a poor replacement. when you get out of the more residential areas of the map into the wilderness it gets even worse as it's just vast empty space which is miserable to navigate (especially when it is snowy).
elsewhere stuff like the combat takes a step down too. combat in the previous entries was never a strong suit but it was at least painless in the mediocrity. here you can see movements made towards trying to improve everything but it doesn't pan out to me. i'm not sure how much of it is III itself or maybe the remaster being fucked up but the game feels like it has this weird animation priority to all of its movements which leads to problems with counters not even registering half the time. some contextual environmental based attacks were added among other things but as i have brought up like three times now elsewhere, it feels half baked. Connor is an absolute beast in combat so most of it goes by quickly still but i 100% would've taken what we had before still.
this leaves me with the pacing which might have damned the full thing in the end. i have played and loved a lot of slow burn games over the years so know that it doesn't come lightly when i say that this is one of the slowest games i have ever played. you don't even get around to playing as the actual main character for a couple of sequences into the game and then you don't even get your actual assassin's robes for another few after that. i don't mind a build up for things but when the surroundings are so rotten it just was too much. you bounce from one gameplay element to the next constantly in a state of tutorials for what feels like 75% of the game.
somewhere within all the bloat the game sees fit to introduce a half baked hunting system which barely works, naval combat (which i hope is improved in Black Flag or that shit is going to be miserable too lmao), and even a crafting system that i somehow didn't even notice or come across with nearly 22 hours in the game. just a smothering sense of excess. literally don't know how this game even came together, even as it is within Ubisoft's unhinged annual release format of the time period. genuinely feel so bad for anyone who was working there.
gonna need a long break before i move onto Black Flag at this point.
This might scare someone who's never seen this kind of game before, but I personally find it hard to find these survey kind of games scary. Maybe there could be some kind of chilling audio that's a little freaky, but I can't say this one even has that. Sorry, I feel like I'd be more scared to take a Buzzfeed "What Kind Of Cheese Are You?" quiz and find out I'm pimento.
Wild Wild Racing
2000
I played a couple races of this to test out the PS2 I wanted to use primarily as a DVD player and lost all of them, therefore this game sucks
I played one race of this to test out the PS2 I wanted to use primarily as a DVD player and won it, therefore this game is good
