✅Open world
✅Abyssmal collect-a-thon of plants and animal stuff
✅Shitty crafting system completely tacked on
✅"Stealth" mechanics revolving around hiding in bushes and takedowns
✅Enemy campaments with useless rewards
✅ Annoying npcs

Far Cry haters are awfully quiet today

Here, here, here we go!

So they're finally here, performing for you,
If you know the words, you can join in too,
Put your hands together, if you want to clap,
As we take you through, this monkey rap!

Huh!
D.K., Donkey Kong!!

He's the leader of the bunch, you know him well,
He's finally back to kick some tail,
His Coconut Gun can fire in spurts,
If he shoots ya, it's gonna hurt,
He's bigger, faster, and stronger too,
He's the first member of the D.K. crew!

Huh!
D.K., Donkey Kong!
D.K., Donkey Kong is here!

This Kong's got style, so listen up dudes,
She can shrink in size, to suit her mood,
She's quick and nimble when she needs to be,
She can float through the air and climb up trees!
If you choose her, you'll not choose wrong,
With a skip and a hop, she's one cool Kong!

Huh!
D.K., Donkey Kong!

He has no style, he has no grace,
Th-th-th-this Kong has a funny face,
He can handstand when he needs to,
And stretch his arms out, just for you,
Inflate himself just like a balloon,
This crazy Kong just digs this tune!

Huh!
D.K., Donkey Kong!
D.K., Donkey Kong is here!

He's back again and about time too,
And this time he's in the mood,
He can fly real high with his jetpack on,
With his pistols out, he's one tough Kong!
He'll make you smile when he plays his tune,
But Kremlings beware 'cause he's after you!

Huh!
D.K., Donkey Kong!
Huh!

Finally, he's here for you,
It's the last member of the D.K. crew!
This Kong's so strong, it isn't funny,
Can make a Kremling cry out for mummy,
Can pick up a boulder with relative ease,
Makes crushing rocks seem such a breeze,
He may move slow, he can't jump high,
But this Kong's one hell of a guy! (Replaced with "heck" in later versions of the song.)

Huh!
C'mon Cranky, take it to the fridge!

W-w-w-walnuts. peanuts. pineapple smells.
Grapes. melons. oranges and coconut shells!
Ahh yeah!
Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells,
Grapes, melons, oranges and coconut shells!
Ahh yeah!

liked it a lot at first. but the more i think about it the less i like it. i figured i'd replay it eventually with a different build but don't really have any interest in doing so anymore.

after reflecting, i think the writing is just too cynical and tongue in cheek. DE is too afraid to be sincere, so instead it opts for quirky satire. the secret extra scene is wonderful and almost makes up for it, but the ending after ended on a really lukewarm note.
the artstyle is cool. the world is well thought out, but not really the focus since it's mostly a personal story. choices don't really matter all that much aside from coloring the protagonist how you want.

i probably don't like visual novels, 99% of the focus was in the dialogue. or i just don't like the kind of story that DE tells.

The remedy is the experience
This is the dangerous liaison (I says)
The comedy is that it's serious
This is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend
The rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends
Well it all amounts to nothing in the end

If you've taken a cursory glance at my reviews, you'll see that I made a thousand or so word review of Nier Gestalt, one of my favorite games of all time. The dark setting, bewitching music, interesting characters, and versatile gameplay have stuck with me since I got the game around Thanksgiving of 2019.

However, I never planned on liking the original Nier. I only got it because I heard that it had some continuity with Automata. As such, I'd pick it up and beat it before playing and loving Automata. Side note, I mostly loved Automata before I played it for its soundtrack (the reasons why this is important will be made clear in a second).

Imagine my confusion in February 2020 when I buy the game and it absolutely fails to enrapture me in the same way its prequel did. I don't write reviews for games I don't beat, but don't see myself beating this game until the game is actually taking place (in a few millennia mind you). I've given it many chances, but I don't think I can bring myself to beat this game that's beloved by so many.

With the story, I won't be super critical. This is a game acclaimed for its story, so it must be important. Given I haven't experienced it all, maybe it gets really good. I wouldn't know. However, the game must push all the good story beats to the back, because very little happened in the 10 hours I played. 10 hours of an Action RPG is usually quite a bit of the runtime, and I know that the Drakenier franchise has its whole multiple ending facet, so this game may be much longer than an normal 20-ish hour ARPG, but still, nothing interesting happened in the 10 hours I played. There were no good hooks. It was very, "Go here. Kill machine. Go there. Kill machine." Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Again, maybe it takes forever to pick up, but it took too long for me because there was nothing to intrigue me.

The gameplay isn't all too good. Ground combat feels floaty, most likely to facilitate aerial combos. However said combos are very limited and not worth losing any weight behind attacks or tight movement controls. The lack of tight movement controls is made even worse when projectiles are being spewed in bullet-hell patterns. The top down schmup sections are good, but their control setup was not made for the twinstick sections, which see your right hand crowding the right side of your controller in a very uncomfortable manner meanwhile the camera angles disorient the player. I will say that I love the enemy design and how machines' eyes light up before they attack, but that logic goes out the window for bosses or any enemies with ranged attacks. Sacrificing telegraphing apparently is the only way to make tougher encounters. Overall, the gameplay's messy, with gems of design hidden deep in the sediment of low mediocrity.

The game looks nice. I will say that. It's not breathtaking, but the environments look good, 2B's butt is so detailed that it has become a meme, the UI is really slick, and the talented designs of Akihiko Yoshida really shine.

My biggest gripe with this game is the music. I have a chronic need to hum, whistle, or listen to music at any given time of day. That is to say that music is very important to me. I got into the Nier series based on its music alone. However, Automata's soundtrack in hindsight isn't all too good for one reason: remixes. I love Nier Gestalt's soundtrack to bits, so I'm very biased, but almost every track is a certified banger. The standout bangers of this game that are pushed in marketing are mostly recycled. A Beautiful Song and Bipolar Nightmare are sometimes pushed, but the main trifecta that was used in marketing was Grandma - Destruction, Emil - Despair, and Song of the Ancients - Atonement. Two of these tracks are really good (SotA-A is just a worse SotA-Fate if you ask me), don't get me wrong, but it's sad that the keynote songs are remixes as compared to something original.

Automata has some good original songs, like A Beautiful Song, Voice of No Return, and City Ruins, but the game's strongest original tracks are nowhere near as strong as Nier's strongest tracks. Alien Manifestation, for example, is a good track, but nowhere near as good as Snow in Summer for getting you into the mood and atmosphere of the game.

I will probably rewrite this at some point. It's 2:10 AM as I write this and I'm spitballing hard, so I apologize if this is hard to read. However, my judgment still stands that Nier: Automata was heavily disappointing to me on so many facets. I know I'm in a laughably small minority with not liking this game. Few are the number of games that I cannot bring myself to beat. Sadly, Automata must join that list.

4/10 - A game with subpar gameplay, a story that failed to get me interested, and a much weaker soundtrack than its predecessor that fails to have completely original flagship tracks. There's definitely a bid at making a quality game here, especially with the visual presentation, but it doesn't subtract from my immense disappointment at this game.