201 Reviews liked by essemkato


oh my god. oh my god i get it. literally everyone was right this whole time. i didnt even think i LIKED racing games

WarioWare shoot it up yo ass game

Let Nintendo's lawyers smite them for the crime of making us have to pretend to care about this dookie dog shit. Will people even care about this game enough to read this review several days from now? Who knows.

misleading title, game didn't run in 50 FPS

bitches be like "this is what takes nintendo and those soulless corporations down" when this game was made with the same soulless sentiment

Kevin Levine is the Doug Walker of video games, and this is his To Boldly Flee

This is just one of those games that I can't imagine not existing.

once the hype dies down its gonna be really cool to pretend some NSMB game was the last authentic mario game, and that wonder is somehow cynical or underbaked

SSX 3

2003

genuinely think this should be considered as an all-time GOAT

I wish Nintendo tried making a game similar to this.

Anyone who says this game is grindy is either lying or really bad

a weird pervert's magnum opus. gaming as art.

frank frazetta. bela lugosi. lon chaney. ray harryhausen. the guy who directed the music video for DIO's holy diver.
i thank these people not just for their contributions to art but because without them we probably would not get castlevania, an almost peerless work of art that transcends time. very few platformers can stack up to it and i think it deserves a kiss and a big warm hug. the start of gaming's greatest series and one of the finest games to ever grace nintendo's own family computer.

the visuals and music have always been what sets castlevania apart from its contemporaries and, as it turns out, this has been true from the very beginning. there's a perfect level of visibility on just about everything, from the slightly pink fireballs to purple and red skeletons to simon belmont's own orange-tinted armor. backgrounds are always vibrant, from red curtains to the deep transylvanian horizon to a system of moving brass and iron cogs, making each stage feel like its own special setpiece.kinuyo yamashita crafts an impressive series of memorable tunes to accompany these setpieces, along with her cohort satoe terashima; i guarantee songs like vampire killer and wicked child will be remembered for ages to come as some of the greatest tracks in this era of videogaming. the identity of castlevania is as unmistakable and unique as it is playfully derivative; in addition to everyone i named earlier whose legacy impacts this game, there are just tons of nods to different mythologies of the world, the history of horror, and cinema in general (where else would the otherwise conan-esque simon get a WHIP from, if not Indy?).

everyone has had their own strongly-held viewpoint on the classic castlevanias' infamous "fixed jump arc" at some point. maybe you've changed your opinion over the years but i know at the least you have one. mine is that it rules and this game would be so much worse without it. every platforming challenge and enemy pattern is expertly designed around it beautifully. and speaking of challenge, it must be said that few games have a difficulty curve as balanced as CV1's. the escalation is natural, you fight enemies with basic patterns and no attacks on the first stage, onto slightly more complex patterns in the second, you're introduced to bone-throwing skeletons and wild flea-men in level 3, and so on, until by the time you're almost at dracula's door, you're fighting the former first boss as a normal enemy while hopping over bottomless pits. it's great! and while we're at it, talk about an iconic villain, huh? it's goddamn dracula. what can you even say. he turns into a fuzzy blue monster after you whip his head off, this could be the best game ever dude

The Water Temple is actually good and if you disagree you have a small penis. I’m sorry.

While Metroid Prime for the original GameCube is a certified banger and a half, this Remaster, in my eyes, is the definitive version of the game. The updated graphics look amazing even in handheld mode, music is still incredible, the spring jump is a nice addition from the original, and the fact you can choose from 4 different control types makes this experience truly fantastic. I must admit, I absolutely blow at FPS anything and I strongly dislike the genre in general, but Prime Remastered is a very strong exception. Hoping Echoes Remastered is also a certified banger 😁