honko
I clapped when Hurry Up! from Wario Land 4 played in one cutscene
People didn’t like this? It’s like spaghetti: it’s good. I played it years after release with a super overpowered build, so it was easy as fuck, but it really didn’t matter, I loved the art design and the atmosphere and the moon is just so cool, even Eris is cool with her dead fucking ghost bros hanging around. The only real problem for me is the amount of filler, like the game being like “okay now kill 100 of these guys.” Don’t get me wrong, shooting is a lot of fun in Destiny but even the best gameplay gets stale when you plainly tell the player to just do the most basic shit for a pretty large amount of time. You don’t wanna eat spaghetti for lunch, breakfast, and dinner for the rest of eternity. Or maybe you do in which case you might not mind the filler. Having a fun build is definitely like sauce. If you’re experimental there’s all kinds of different sauces you can try and maybe if you do that you will have a great time always eating spaghetti, like I used to not be a sauce guy myself but now I got this hunter build where I just punch everything and yeah basically what I’m trying to say is making the gameplay more fun and less stale is in your hands. The game defo tries to get you to do that too by making the bounties pretty specific things and the side quests making you play specific weapons to get you to try and diversify. It ends kinda abruptly since it has no final boss, you do get a pretty iconic at this point end cutscene but yeah it’s like when you forget to put the salt in your spaghetti and then later on you try to save it by sprinkling salt on top of them but it just isn’t the same
I feel like I am the inverse of what people like about this game since my friend who I played this entire thing with told me the Library level was widely hated and that level for me was the absolute highlight due to its strong atmosphere and more condensed level design. I really don't like how big and empty a lot of levels in this game feel, especially coupled with the ridiculously slow walking speed. I do think the game gets better as it goes on, starting with a good opener but then dropping you into a couple levels that I really did not like for aforementioned reasons but then coming around again towards the end in the last three or so levels. The music is really good throughout and the original look is great and that pussy ass Master Queef is funny but sadly I just didn't have a lot of fun playing it most of the time.
2023
Would've been a 5 if it weren't for the lack of a map and the pretty lame ending.
This review contains spoilers
Huge decline in overall quality. Completely lacking in what makes the main game good. It's much more boring aesthetically, the only new gameplay feature doesn't feel like a real new power that could be useful everywhere and is only used in the one new area, and even the story is boring. The idea of Jesse growing a bit of an ego after taking control of the bureau and trying to do everything herself and that backfiring is perfectly fine but it's executed so sloppily. Jesse feels like a bumbling idiot in this. Jesse really be like "hmmmmst who do I trust, this weird entity that has been helping me the entire time or this other weird entity who has literally tried to kill me in the past, I just cannot decide". Not that there actually is a real decision to be made since the game ends with both sides still being in tact regardless. Even the Board becomes massively less interesting once Jesse starts directly talking to it and being like all cocky to it, just let it be a cool cosmic space entity I really hate that they felt they had to give it more character or something, you don't even learn anything interesting about it so I really don't get it. I would've given it an even lower score but it still plays like Control which is good and it has a good boss fight at the end.
2021
This review contains spoilers
I would've really liked it if it wasn't for some huge issues. Let's go over them.
1. The game's checkpoints are not great. I had to refight the Ornstein and Smogh ripoff boss fight three times since I died almost insantly after defeating them because at that point any water will drain your health at a ridiculous rate and you die within seconds. The devs could have made the game autosave after beating a boss or even do a Dark Souls 3 and put a checkpoint in the boss arena but nope. The checkpoint system itself is kinda stupid too: so like in Dark Souls, checkpoints fully heal you and restore all your healing items but unlike Dark Souls using checkpoints comes at no cost which is to say enemies don't get revived. That means there's no reason not to walk back to the last checkpoint after every encounter which robs the game of a lof of challenge which it could've used.
2. The bosses kinda suck. The previously mentioned Ornstein and Smough boss is the best one in the game as its structure makes it so you can't just circle strafe around them like for most other bosses. The other exception to this rule is the final boss which is by far the worst one in the game. He has this really fun machine gun move where for like legit 30 seconds he'll non stop fire homing projectiles. The only strat to avoid damage here is to hide behind one of the pillars in the boss arena. All his other moves are super unnoteworthy except for one move where he'll suddenly throw a barage of fire balls at you. This move has next to no wind-up and can deal ridiculous damage, I remember dying to it with more than four full health bars. The other bosses are fine overall and some are even good but yeah for pretty much all of them if you just keep strafing around them they can't do shit.
3. The metro area. This one fucking area made me dislike the entire game so much more. And it was so close to being good too - the atmosphere is amazing. It's the darkest area in the game and the only one where the map doesn't show you anything. Combine that with some real spooky enemy designs and you got some real strong vibes, ruined by the game's lighting. So like some other games like Hollow Knight at one point you can get a little lantern as a light source. The problem is that lantern doesn't at all follow the player - it is its own entity that tries to follow the player but it really struggles doing so. Its path finding is really not great so it'll constantly get stuck around corners and stuff leaving you in complete darkness. The light it casts is also just not very strong which defo enhances said atmosphere but my god does it make traversing this area tedious. You can take like five steps before you gotta wait for your little light source buddy to catch up which a lot of the time it fails to do, I really don't get how they tested this shit out and didn't think to change it for the final game. Oh yeah and about the strong atmosphere? Ruined by meme drawings on the wall. The dev let people on Twitter submit random artwork to plaster on the walls of this area, the idea being it's supposed to be like grafitti. It is kinda cool just for the novelty of it but also because it like tells you something about the world, like that there used to be people in the past who drew random shit on the walls and that's cool but like, being in this spooky ass area and suddenly seeing popular yugioh meme Ojama Lime on the wall instantly broke any sense of tension. I really would've preferred these grafitti things to be included in any other area instead.
I really wish I could've enjoyed this thing more and at times I really got into it, like it's made in the Doom engine so already it's a lot of fun play and the level design can be really strong and it has a good sense of exploration as you'd hope for a game like this to have but yeah, it sadly has too many issues for me to really be able to recommend it.
1. The game's checkpoints are not great. I had to refight the Ornstein and Smogh ripoff boss fight three times since I died almost insantly after defeating them because at that point any water will drain your health at a ridiculous rate and you die within seconds. The devs could have made the game autosave after beating a boss or even do a Dark Souls 3 and put a checkpoint in the boss arena but nope. The checkpoint system itself is kinda stupid too: so like in Dark Souls, checkpoints fully heal you and restore all your healing items but unlike Dark Souls using checkpoints comes at no cost which is to say enemies don't get revived. That means there's no reason not to walk back to the last checkpoint after every encounter which robs the game of a lof of challenge which it could've used.
2. The bosses kinda suck. The previously mentioned Ornstein and Smough boss is the best one in the game as its structure makes it so you can't just circle strafe around them like for most other bosses. The other exception to this rule is the final boss which is by far the worst one in the game. He has this really fun machine gun move where for like legit 30 seconds he'll non stop fire homing projectiles. The only strat to avoid damage here is to hide behind one of the pillars in the boss arena. All his other moves are super unnoteworthy except for one move where he'll suddenly throw a barage of fire balls at you. This move has next to no wind-up and can deal ridiculous damage, I remember dying to it with more than four full health bars. The other bosses are fine overall and some are even good but yeah for pretty much all of them if you just keep strafing around them they can't do shit.
3. The metro area. This one fucking area made me dislike the entire game so much more. And it was so close to being good too - the atmosphere is amazing. It's the darkest area in the game and the only one where the map doesn't show you anything. Combine that with some real spooky enemy designs and you got some real strong vibes, ruined by the game's lighting. So like some other games like Hollow Knight at one point you can get a little lantern as a light source. The problem is that lantern doesn't at all follow the player - it is its own entity that tries to follow the player but it really struggles doing so. Its path finding is really not great so it'll constantly get stuck around corners and stuff leaving you in complete darkness. The light it casts is also just not very strong which defo enhances said atmosphere but my god does it make traversing this area tedious. You can take like five steps before you gotta wait for your little light source buddy to catch up which a lot of the time it fails to do, I really don't get how they tested this shit out and didn't think to change it for the final game. Oh yeah and about the strong atmosphere? Ruined by meme drawings on the wall. The dev let people on Twitter submit random artwork to plaster on the walls of this area, the idea being it's supposed to be like grafitti. It is kinda cool just for the novelty of it but also because it like tells you something about the world, like that there used to be people in the past who drew random shit on the walls and that's cool but like, being in this spooky ass area and suddenly seeing popular yugioh meme Ojama Lime on the wall instantly broke any sense of tension. I really would've preferred these grafitti things to be included in any other area instead.
I really wish I could've enjoyed this thing more and at times I really got into it, like it's made in the Doom engine so already it's a lot of fun play and the level design can be really strong and it has a good sense of exploration as you'd hope for a game like this to have but yeah, it sadly has too many issues for me to really be able to recommend it.
2020
treasure tech land about to be the GOTY every year
It starts real good and the ending is defo a controversial one but I really liked it. Everything in the middle was exceedingly mid though. You barely meet any noteworthy characters and it sets up close to nothing for the ending, really feels like filler with some real lame cases.
2001
my first review of this game was kinda ass so lemme give it another shot
I think there are two major aspects that make this game so perfect to me. One is the mechanical side, and the other are the vibes simply put.
I think Wario Land 4 is still the best execution of the basic idea of what I have dubbed an 'extraction platformer'. Y'know, games like this, Pizza Tower, Antonblast and so on. The core aspects of these games to me is that unlike regular platformers in which the goal is beating a level, the goal of extraction platformers is to enter a level, collect loot of some kind, and then get out. This means that the levels are like individualized versions of Metroidvanias, as the goal is not to reach an arbitrary conclusion to the level, but instead to explore. Wario Land 4 commits to this principle to an immense degree: every level has six individual collectibles and a score attached to it. Entering and leaving a level without collecting anything does exactly nothing for you, the level counts as 'cleared' but you have not progressed at all through the game, which is to say you haven't unlocked the next level. In order to unlock the next level the player is required to find a key and bring it to the exit of the level. However this isn't the end of it - every section of Wario Land 4 consists of four levels and one boss and only once the boss has been defeated does that section count as cleared and unlocking the boss isn't as easy as beating the four associated levels. In each level, next to the mandatory key for unlocking the next level, there are four more key shards necessary to unlock this sections boss. Across four levels this means you are forced to collect 16 key shards, along with four key birds that unlock the next level. That is five mandatory collectibles hidden in every level. Wario Land 4 doesn't just suggest you explore levels - it forces you to do so. Every level doesn't feel like a level as a result, it feels like its own game, a feeling only empowered by the large variety in themes, the unique music, and unique mechanics for each level. You keep everything you collected in a level each time you extract - that is to say end the level without dying, meaning you don't have to feel pressured about collecting everything in one go, the game truly feels designed around revisiting every level and checking out every corner. Of course you know at this point what the end of every level looks like. It's a run all the way back to the entrance of the level while a massive timer on screen counts down. The game is much more forgiving than other extraction platformers in this regard. Once time runs out you aren't being chased by something that will kill you in one attack, the only thing that happens is that the score you have achieved in the current run starts trickling down. You will get an instant game over once the points run out completely, but in my many runs of this game this has never happened to me even once. This might lead you to ask what the point is in that case - afterall, why threaten to punish the player if the punishment is not severe? But it makes perfect sense in the large scheme of both the gameplay and the story. You are Wario - you're a collector. A man who has only started this journey to become rich. Losing score - and therefore cash - might not bother you in a game sense but in the shoes of Wario it truly is a terrifying omen. That being said, your score isn't just a number for comparing yourself to other players and yourself. Getting more than 10,000 points in a level permanently marks that level with a gold crown. This doesn't do anything by itself but once again fits into the idea of playing as Wario and also has the added bonus of a cute little unlockable after obtaining all gold crowns in every level. It's also just plain fun. I seriously cannot replay this game without going for a gold crown in every level, it feels like such an essential part of the game design that it simply doesn't feel right to move on to the next level if I haven't done everything in the current one yet. This is a good time to mention that there is a 6th hidden collectible in each and every level. It is the only one that is 100% optional but the reward is truly something special. I will talk some more about it later but to wrap up the mechanics section I also want to stress that Wario is just such an immense joy to control. He feels truly powerful as a character, with a ground pound that knocks over all the enemies in the vicinity, the ability to pick enemies up and throw them at each other, and most importantly, the dash. I cannot begin to describe how good this dash is. The closest comparison would be the speed booster from Metroid with more of a platforming focus to it. You are still surprisingly vulnerable during it but I simply cannot help myself and use it whenever possible just for how satisfying it is. It also once again encourages getting to know each level - something you're already inclined to do as you're unlikely to find all the (mandatory) collectibles on your first go.
Then there's the vibes. The closest comparison I could make would be to the first No More Heroes game. It catches a similar punk rock attitude. I have no idea how WL4's creators came up with all the little touches this game has but it's truly incredible what they managed to achieve here. Wario as a character feels truly fleshed out in a way few other games are able to despite him not having any dialogue throughout the game. His animations are full of character but even more brilliant are the sounds he makes, many of which are played at different pitches and tempos seemingly at random. Even the sounds themselves seem to be random which leads to weird occurences like Wario laughing from getting hit. There's a weird, artificial quality to the sounds Wario makes, certainly enhanced by the GBA's limited sound quality. It often feels like Wario is commenting on what is happening rather than being the character making these sounds in the moment. It's a weird, alien kind of vibe that once again perfectly fits that punk attitude I mentioned earlier, being deliberately different from the rest of the pack. The game also beautifully manages a large quantity of different tones. There's a certain maturity to it. Wario doesn't just feel like a goofball who's just funny and nothing else, him and the world around him feel sincere and genuine. The music contributes greatly to this. The 6th, optional collectible each level has I mentioned earlier actually unlocks a song in what appears to be a spoof of classic game's sound tests. It's called the CD room and in complete opposition to actual sound tests, it only has music in it not found anywhere else in the game. This music is weird. There's some more regular tracks in there but a large portion of the songs presented are ambient noise tracks and sound collages. They can tell little stories using only various sound effects or make you feel things the main game doesn't. The truly bizarre two frame animations that play on loop during these tracks only enhance the eeriness felt by some of these pieces.
To wrap it up in a neat bow and make it simple: it plays real good, is truly innovative in terms of game structure, and has some of the freshest most out there vibes in any Nintendo game.
If you actually read all of this, thank you for your time. If not, that's okay too. I love you.
I think there are two major aspects that make this game so perfect to me. One is the mechanical side, and the other are the vibes simply put.
I think Wario Land 4 is still the best execution of the basic idea of what I have dubbed an 'extraction platformer'. Y'know, games like this, Pizza Tower, Antonblast and so on. The core aspects of these games to me is that unlike regular platformers in which the goal is beating a level, the goal of extraction platformers is to enter a level, collect loot of some kind, and then get out. This means that the levels are like individualized versions of Metroidvanias, as the goal is not to reach an arbitrary conclusion to the level, but instead to explore. Wario Land 4 commits to this principle to an immense degree: every level has six individual collectibles and a score attached to it. Entering and leaving a level without collecting anything does exactly nothing for you, the level counts as 'cleared' but you have not progressed at all through the game, which is to say you haven't unlocked the next level. In order to unlock the next level the player is required to find a key and bring it to the exit of the level. However this isn't the end of it - every section of Wario Land 4 consists of four levels and one boss and only once the boss has been defeated does that section count as cleared and unlocking the boss isn't as easy as beating the four associated levels. In each level, next to the mandatory key for unlocking the next level, there are four more key shards necessary to unlock this sections boss. Across four levels this means you are forced to collect 16 key shards, along with four key birds that unlock the next level. That is five mandatory collectibles hidden in every level. Wario Land 4 doesn't just suggest you explore levels - it forces you to do so. Every level doesn't feel like a level as a result, it feels like its own game, a feeling only empowered by the large variety in themes, the unique music, and unique mechanics for each level. You keep everything you collected in a level each time you extract - that is to say end the level without dying, meaning you don't have to feel pressured about collecting everything in one go, the game truly feels designed around revisiting every level and checking out every corner. Of course you know at this point what the end of every level looks like. It's a run all the way back to the entrance of the level while a massive timer on screen counts down. The game is much more forgiving than other extraction platformers in this regard. Once time runs out you aren't being chased by something that will kill you in one attack, the only thing that happens is that the score you have achieved in the current run starts trickling down. You will get an instant game over once the points run out completely, but in my many runs of this game this has never happened to me even once. This might lead you to ask what the point is in that case - afterall, why threaten to punish the player if the punishment is not severe? But it makes perfect sense in the large scheme of both the gameplay and the story. You are Wario - you're a collector. A man who has only started this journey to become rich. Losing score - and therefore cash - might not bother you in a game sense but in the shoes of Wario it truly is a terrifying omen. That being said, your score isn't just a number for comparing yourself to other players and yourself. Getting more than 10,000 points in a level permanently marks that level with a gold crown. This doesn't do anything by itself but once again fits into the idea of playing as Wario and also has the added bonus of a cute little unlockable after obtaining all gold crowns in every level. It's also just plain fun. I seriously cannot replay this game without going for a gold crown in every level, it feels like such an essential part of the game design that it simply doesn't feel right to move on to the next level if I haven't done everything in the current one yet. This is a good time to mention that there is a 6th hidden collectible in each and every level. It is the only one that is 100% optional but the reward is truly something special. I will talk some more about it later but to wrap up the mechanics section I also want to stress that Wario is just such an immense joy to control. He feels truly powerful as a character, with a ground pound that knocks over all the enemies in the vicinity, the ability to pick enemies up and throw them at each other, and most importantly, the dash. I cannot begin to describe how good this dash is. The closest comparison would be the speed booster from Metroid with more of a platforming focus to it. You are still surprisingly vulnerable during it but I simply cannot help myself and use it whenever possible just for how satisfying it is. It also once again encourages getting to know each level - something you're already inclined to do as you're unlikely to find all the (mandatory) collectibles on your first go.
Then there's the vibes. The closest comparison I could make would be to the first No More Heroes game. It catches a similar punk rock attitude. I have no idea how WL4's creators came up with all the little touches this game has but it's truly incredible what they managed to achieve here. Wario as a character feels truly fleshed out in a way few other games are able to despite him not having any dialogue throughout the game. His animations are full of character but even more brilliant are the sounds he makes, many of which are played at different pitches and tempos seemingly at random. Even the sounds themselves seem to be random which leads to weird occurences like Wario laughing from getting hit. There's a weird, artificial quality to the sounds Wario makes, certainly enhanced by the GBA's limited sound quality. It often feels like Wario is commenting on what is happening rather than being the character making these sounds in the moment. It's a weird, alien kind of vibe that once again perfectly fits that punk attitude I mentioned earlier, being deliberately different from the rest of the pack. The game also beautifully manages a large quantity of different tones. There's a certain maturity to it. Wario doesn't just feel like a goofball who's just funny and nothing else, him and the world around him feel sincere and genuine. The music contributes greatly to this. The 6th, optional collectible each level has I mentioned earlier actually unlocks a song in what appears to be a spoof of classic game's sound tests. It's called the CD room and in complete opposition to actual sound tests, it only has music in it not found anywhere else in the game. This music is weird. There's some more regular tracks in there but a large portion of the songs presented are ambient noise tracks and sound collages. They can tell little stories using only various sound effects or make you feel things the main game doesn't. The truly bizarre two frame animations that play on loop during these tracks only enhance the eeriness felt by some of these pieces.
To wrap it up in a neat bow and make it simple: it plays real good, is truly innovative in terms of game structure, and has some of the freshest most out there vibes in any Nintendo game.
If you actually read all of this, thank you for your time. If not, that's okay too. I love you.
1993
I genuinely thought you and me, y'know we're both young guys, I thought guys like us wouldn't find much to enjoy in such an old game but nah its just super fun to play the moment you boot it up
it plays better than the first one with much more creative levels but to me Katamari is not really about that, it's all about the vibes and I think I prefer the vibes of the first game. probably a combo of the music and the writing if I had to guess. I really don't fuck with the new added content either. knowing the context in which the original was made makes it just feel kinda slimy type beat
2022
this game is just that one emotional chart where it constantly goes from "it's so over" to "we're so back", I don't think a single game has ever made me as frustrated one sitting and ecstatic the next but my god when a weapon finally clicks and you start controlling entire matches it feels so damn good
the single player is also great but the octo expansion is better
if you're gonna have all the music from all three games be playable in the lobby please let me play them in matches too, thanks Nogambi
the single player is also great but the octo expansion is better
if you're gonna have all the music from all three games be playable in the lobby please let me play them in matches too, thanks Nogambi
Hey they actually made me think about the situation I'm in rn and gave me advice on how I could cope with it better so as far as I'm concerned it's achieved its goal.
This review contains spoilers
man, bad edngin
A very Suda game. It's got everything you'd expect from him: wrestlers, assassins, chapters that start and end on very similar beats, a great sense of style, and fantastic writing across the board.
Not to break into a whole "can games be bad on purpose" type beat discussion but they definitely knew what they were doing here. One of the most notable things about it is how the game actively slows down the protagonist's journey with unnecessary distractions and then has the gall to have characters get mad at you for not doing what you were brought here for in the first place. Reminds me of YIIK but unlike in that game it builds up to something here and is very well executed where the player is very much in on the joke and it leads to extremely well explored characters that never fail to be interesting and charming.
If you're new to Suda and have just gone through killer7 or the No More Heroes series and want to see more of what he made, this is 100% worth checking out though I would recommend everyone to play The Silver Case beforehand.
Not to break into a whole "can games be bad on purpose" type beat discussion but they definitely knew what they were doing here. One of the most notable things about it is how the game actively slows down the protagonist's journey with unnecessary distractions and then has the gall to have characters get mad at you for not doing what you were brought here for in the first place. Reminds me of YIIK but unlike in that game it builds up to something here and is very well executed where the player is very much in on the joke and it leads to extremely well explored characters that never fail to be interesting and charming.
If you're new to Suda and have just gone through killer7 or the No More Heroes series and want to see more of what he made, this is 100% worth checking out though I would recommend everyone to play The Silver Case beforehand.