I played this game on PSX and it blows! I rented it for Gamecube as a kid and I wasn't really into it back then, either, so I'm feeling good about this two star review. Fuck THPS4! THPS4 sucks! It's ass! THPS4 trips and falls flat on its ugly face just so that one day THUG1 can do an elegant swan dive out of a pool and into the stratosphere like the dolphins in Hitchhiker's Guide. I thought that they put Ace of Spades in THPS3 because the music people had good taste, but I hadn't played THPS4. They put that song in THPS3 because whoever worked on the soundtracks were some fucking boomers who got lucky, and that's the same reason this game has fucking TNT by AC/DC of all fucking songs (and the same reason THUG1 has a whole KISS level for no fucking reason like who the fuck thought any young person skateboarding and playing video games gave a single shit about KISS for crying out loud) I don't even hate AC/DC I like AC/DC I like TNT just fine but it's not a fucking song to skateboard to it's got a fucking geriatric rhythm. Ace of Spades sounds like a freight train and they went from that to fucking TNT jesus AC/DC has to have a faster song than that you old fucks

This game is pretty mid even though it doesn’t feel cheap. There’s a ton of voiced dialogue and it’s all good, but the pacing is borked. You have this neat lil open area but they regularly lock doors behind you so it’s a very linear affair that constantly pushes you from one thing to the next. It moves so fast that they completely forget to introduce or develop Professor Quirrell as a villain, and the final boss fight just kinda comes out of nowhere. There’s a bit of variety to the gameplay, but none of it is really good. This game wasn’t frustrating to play, but it also didn’t do anything cool.

Played the English fan translation - this game is super chill. It’s nice to play a chapter at a time and just vibe out with the art and music. My main complaint is that I wish there were more variation to the songs in the game, tbh. It kind of ends up feeling a little cheap (which it probably was) but there’s some great art and shit in this game and I feel like making the songs feel slightly more involved would have made the whole thing feel a bit more complete, or make it hold your attention a little longer. Still a pretty good time, though, and it’s only like five hours long.

This game rules. It's a really short, quick game to play through but you get some variation by playing as different characters and succeeding/failing at certain non-combat objectives through the story. The animations and cutscenes are all fantastic, and the gameplay is pretty solid - it's a simple beat-em-up without too too much depth, but the characters can be upgraded as you play and there's enough here to bring you back to replay it a few times. I don't love all the dialogue or the character designs, but this game holds up really well despite that. Would love to see more small-scale AAA games like this today.