mochamaki
52 Reviews liked by mochamaki
I feel second hand embarrassment that a 5-minute web browser game that was made as a vent game has garnered so much attention with people trying to critique it as if it's a real product, or as is the case with any review site, the one-line joke reviews
Gonna steal this one from my friend, but writing about how this game "didn't resonate" with you is the equivalent of your friend detailing their feelings to you, and you look them dead in the eyes and say "Hmm, you seem to be getting your life back together. I must dock 2 points! The narrative has become severely uninteresting."
It's okay to let your feelings out in an unconventional way because some people fundamentally struggle with communicating them normally; who gives a fuck if people relate or "get it". Best thing you can do is lend an ear, offer support, and move on
Hope the creator is having a good day today
Gonna steal this one from my friend, but writing about how this game "didn't resonate" with you is the equivalent of your friend detailing their feelings to you, and you look them dead in the eyes and say "Hmm, you seem to be getting your life back together. I must dock 2 points! The narrative has become severely uninteresting."
It's okay to let your feelings out in an unconventional way because some people fundamentally struggle with communicating them normally; who gives a fuck if people relate or "get it". Best thing you can do is lend an ear, offer support, and move on
Hope the creator is having a good day today
Rhythm Heaven
2008
sometimes i have nightmares about the switchsteppers
Fallout
1997
One of the sadder things I’ve realised recently is that the original Fallout may not be as influential as much as it’s made it out to be, at least when it comes down to its mechanics. But I’m no real historian, and it may very well have changed the world of RPGs forever. Still, I don’t think it really matters because at the end of the day this is still a damn good game.
Four years ago I played this game for the first time and finished it in one sitting, and recently I ventured out to the wasteland once again. Shining blue spandex, bright hot sun, searching for a water chip; it all feels too familiar. Ah, that control scheme…it feels clunky but once you get the hang of its fits this game like a glove. Fast and snappy, perfect for that retro-future aesthetic. Still, I can’t deny I’ve ever particularly liked how this game’s combat is. Nothing horribly wrong with it, but often times it feels too static, like I’m playing a board game with a computer that’s determined to kill me. Probably what they were going for too.
Stopped by Shady Sands, and gave birth to a nation there. Went to Vault 15, and I saw ruins. Ran into the Khans, and slaughtered them all. Headed to Necropolis to give the mutants dirt naps, and saved my vault. Strolled into Junktown for the casino and killed the owner; I left as quietly as I came. Stopped by The Hub for the water, and stayed to help uncover the disgusting truth behind both the missing caravans and those delicious Iguana Bits. Ran into The Brotherhood of Steel; they told me to fuck off. I saved Los Angeles for last, and it was as much a shithole as I had expected.
After you get the water chip, the last half is really unsettling. You feel that there’s an imminent evil heading into this world as you encounter these monsters more and more. As you spend hours upon hours searching for a man you assume to be the devil himself, you grow accustomed to the hell that is this world. Despite being coddled at birth, you make this wasteland yours. And by the time meet the creator of this madness, it really just does feel like a Wednesday in this irradiated world. This game is absurdly funny, not only with its writing and critiques of American culture but right down to the game design itself with the funniest bit being that the thing you spent the last half searching for is just straight left. Haha, all that work for something so simple.
I hated the Overseer four years ago. Really thought of him as nothing more than an ungrateful speck of a man. But today, as I blew up that evil lair and saw everything that my actions wrought and how I changed this world forever, I stood in front of that cold metal door wearing dark green combat armor and a rocket launcher in hand. There, I saw myself. I saw a man in shining blue spandex walking up to someone he just doesn’t recognize anymore. He is confused now as I was in the beginning, he just doesn’t understand and I now realize where he’s coming from. I could hear the fear in his voice, fear of this horrible world that just sucks.
What if we ARE the only safe place in the world? You just gave us back all these lives…I can’t take the chance of losing them.
I’m sorry. You’re a hero…and you have to leave.
You walk alone. Into this heartless, cruel, unforgiving world. Shining blue spandex, bright hot sun, searching for a purpose. You found it one day, but long after your death, another evil arose. Don’t worry, another hero just like you saved us again.
Four years ago I played this game for the first time and finished it in one sitting, and recently I ventured out to the wasteland once again. Shining blue spandex, bright hot sun, searching for a water chip; it all feels too familiar. Ah, that control scheme…it feels clunky but once you get the hang of its fits this game like a glove. Fast and snappy, perfect for that retro-future aesthetic. Still, I can’t deny I’ve ever particularly liked how this game’s combat is. Nothing horribly wrong with it, but often times it feels too static, like I’m playing a board game with a computer that’s determined to kill me. Probably what they were going for too.
Stopped by Shady Sands, and gave birth to a nation there. Went to Vault 15, and I saw ruins. Ran into the Khans, and slaughtered them all. Headed to Necropolis to give the mutants dirt naps, and saved my vault. Strolled into Junktown for the casino and killed the owner; I left as quietly as I came. Stopped by The Hub for the water, and stayed to help uncover the disgusting truth behind both the missing caravans and those delicious Iguana Bits. Ran into The Brotherhood of Steel; they told me to fuck off. I saved Los Angeles for last, and it was as much a shithole as I had expected.
After you get the water chip, the last half is really unsettling. You feel that there’s an imminent evil heading into this world as you encounter these monsters more and more. As you spend hours upon hours searching for a man you assume to be the devil himself, you grow accustomed to the hell that is this world. Despite being coddled at birth, you make this wasteland yours. And by the time meet the creator of this madness, it really just does feel like a Wednesday in this irradiated world. This game is absurdly funny, not only with its writing and critiques of American culture but right down to the game design itself with the funniest bit being that the thing you spent the last half searching for is just straight left. Haha, all that work for something so simple.
I hated the Overseer four years ago. Really thought of him as nothing more than an ungrateful speck of a man. But today, as I blew up that evil lair and saw everything that my actions wrought and how I changed this world forever, I stood in front of that cold metal door wearing dark green combat armor and a rocket launcher in hand. There, I saw myself. I saw a man in shining blue spandex walking up to someone he just doesn’t recognize anymore. He is confused now as I was in the beginning, he just doesn’t understand and I now realize where he’s coming from. I could hear the fear in his voice, fear of this horrible world that just sucks.
What if we ARE the only safe place in the world? You just gave us back all these lives…I can’t take the chance of losing them.
I’m sorry. You’re a hero…and you have to leave.
You walk alone. Into this heartless, cruel, unforgiving world. Shining blue spandex, bright hot sun, searching for a purpose. You found it one day, but long after your death, another evil arose. Don’t worry, another hero just like you saved us again.
Bayonetta
2009
After my previous two reviews I feel like any energy I would’ve had to write a long-form review has been zapped so apologies if this review feels like a collection of thoughts rather than something truly in-depth as I couldn’t find the proper ebbs and flows to get each of my points across. Can you tell I’m trying to hit the word count yet?
You know there’s something to be said about Bayonetta’s portrayal of femininity. The classic female action hero is usually relegated into being nothing more than exactly like their male counterparts. Where, in order to fit the archetype of “badass”, they’re made to act more masculine, as if “girliness” can’t be cool. That’s a huge factor into why a character like Bayonetta is so memorable. She wears a skin-tight leather suit, all her moves look like an elegant dance, and she very often just goes naked to deliver her attacks. Not saying that this form of badassery is better than the other, but it’s really not something you see in games often, and that’s what I find commendable. Now there is something to be said in regard to if this game does this well and venture off into fanservice eye candy that’s grating considering Kamiya’s own comments, but I’m a cis man so there’s not much insight I have into these matters. But judging by this game’s own fanbase, Bayonetta seems to be a feminist icon that’s wildly beloved, and for me her actions in the game certainly didn’t feel grating.
• Going into this right after DMC5, I assumed that it would worsen the game’s combat for me but I can’t feel that it did. It’s fun, it packs a punch. There are really a lot of fun combos you can do now that you have a dedicated secondary attack button. Although I really can’t tell if this game is harder than DMC or not. I died a lot more than I did in any DMC game I should say, but it never felt like it was harder, it always felt easier. I don’t know what’s up with that, I think it may just have something to do with this game’s reliance on Witch Time, although doing more research this game may be too smart guys!!! Cause surprise, Witch Time is entirely optional it looks like. Oops, skill issue on my part? Yeah maybe. Still, I think this game should be celebrated for trying to differentiate itself from DMC when it comes to combat, not shunned.
• Controls can make or break a combat system and for Bayonetta it’s mostly good, mostly. Idk man, having lock on be R1/RB and having dodge be R2/RT is insanely uncomfortable as to get that perfect dodge against certain enemies I’ll need to have one of my fingers be on R1 and the other one on R2 so I can play the to the best of my abilities. It just ends up hurting my hands after a while, so I had to resort to playing with one finger for both actions sometimes which really did hurt how I played as I’m not the fastest with my fingers. Wouldn’t be an issue if this game had remappable controls but it doesn’t, and certainly doesn’t help that I played with a Dualsense.
• Camera is weird, lock on aims you towards the enemy but this has the downside of having it act all over the place when you’re placed in small areas with more than one enemy.
• The art direction of this game is pretty cool, it took a while but once that whole magical aesthetic clicked, I dug it. Locations are also pretty, at the beginning at least. They really fell off by the midpoint.
• Level design is nothing special. They are all pretty linear levels with easy puzzles. Although the gimmicks in some of the levels ranged from fun to downright terrible, with Mission 14 being the worst of it all. While we’re on the topic of design, boss design is alright. They’re fun to fight, albeit forgettable, but some just veneer riiiiight into that annoying category.
• I’ll start talking a bit about the story now so uhhhh yeah it’s pretty easy to see how Bayonetta has cemented herself as a bit of a gaming icon. She’s fun and likable as a character. Unfortunately I cannot say I find her “hot”, I guess my opinion on white women that I reached in my DMC4 review still stands. Alas…either I am fully gay or my dick don’t work 💔. Heartbreaking.
• The other characters are also pretty charismatic and memorable. Rodin and Enzo are fun, Cereza is inoffensive, Luka is really awesome I like him a lot.
• Not all characters are equal however, as stated previously the bosses are really forgettable and act all the same, even the final boss sadly. Same is true for Jeanne, I really think she doesn’t quite reach the height she could have.
• Despite having a mostly fun cast it’s a shame the story itself is so 🛌. The whole angel and demons along with the light and dark shtick was pretty played out by the time this game was released, so it’s pretty sad to see this game do nothing interesting. Even DMC3, despite not having a super strong narrative or anything, is really rich for me in the rivalry between Dante and Vergil, along with the whole family motif. Can’t say the same is true here.
• The game does place quite a big emphasis on the story, more than DMC4 I’d say, which released around the same time. But like DMC4 I can’t say it’s really all that good. I dunno man, I really have no deeper critiques other than me finding it bland and uninspired and seeing some of the twists coming miles away. Like the end of Mission 14 should be emotional, but I don’t think I care. I’d not care for the story but I feel like the game focuses on it a lot, so in my eyes it’d be a disservice if I just ignored it entirely.
Uhmmmm something something balls balls funny joke here. I’m running out of material. The final boss kinda sucked dick, monkey dick to be specific. Sometimes I really felt like this game wanted to deliver a spectacle but it just didn’t hit me like it intended. Still, a really solid game on its own. I do think I could’ve derived much more enjoyment from the game if it’s combat was better as sometimes it just felt very very annoying, but if I’m being completely fair I need to admit that maybe the fault doesn’t really lie with the game but with me. Bit embarrassing to admit but I was not good at this game, even though I wasn’t bad at DMC. Sometimes the problem does lie with me and I should be man enough to admit that. I’m so sure that one day I’ll revisit this game and end up liking it much more, but as it stands it’s a fun action title I recommend.
Oh yeah, happy pride month.
You know there’s something to be said about Bayonetta’s portrayal of femininity. The classic female action hero is usually relegated into being nothing more than exactly like their male counterparts. Where, in order to fit the archetype of “badass”, they’re made to act more masculine, as if “girliness” can’t be cool. That’s a huge factor into why a character like Bayonetta is so memorable. She wears a skin-tight leather suit, all her moves look like an elegant dance, and she very often just goes naked to deliver her attacks. Not saying that this form of badassery is better than the other, but it’s really not something you see in games often, and that’s what I find commendable. Now there is something to be said in regard to if this game does this well and venture off into fanservice eye candy that’s grating considering Kamiya’s own comments, but I’m a cis man so there’s not much insight I have into these matters. But judging by this game’s own fanbase, Bayonetta seems to be a feminist icon that’s wildly beloved, and for me her actions in the game certainly didn’t feel grating.
• Going into this right after DMC5, I assumed that it would worsen the game’s combat for me but I can’t feel that it did. It’s fun, it packs a punch. There are really a lot of fun combos you can do now that you have a dedicated secondary attack button. Although I really can’t tell if this game is harder than DMC or not. I died a lot more than I did in any DMC game I should say, but it never felt like it was harder, it always felt easier. I don’t know what’s up with that, I think it may just have something to do with this game’s reliance on Witch Time, although doing more research this game may be too smart guys!!! Cause surprise, Witch Time is entirely optional it looks like. Oops, skill issue on my part? Yeah maybe. Still, I think this game should be celebrated for trying to differentiate itself from DMC when it comes to combat, not shunned.
• Controls can make or break a combat system and for Bayonetta it’s mostly good, mostly. Idk man, having lock on be R1/RB and having dodge be R2/RT is insanely uncomfortable as to get that perfect dodge against certain enemies I’ll need to have one of my fingers be on R1 and the other one on R2 so I can play the to the best of my abilities. It just ends up hurting my hands after a while, so I had to resort to playing with one finger for both actions sometimes which really did hurt how I played as I’m not the fastest with my fingers. Wouldn’t be an issue if this game had remappable controls but it doesn’t, and certainly doesn’t help that I played with a Dualsense.
• Camera is weird, lock on aims you towards the enemy but this has the downside of having it act all over the place when you’re placed in small areas with more than one enemy.
• The art direction of this game is pretty cool, it took a while but once that whole magical aesthetic clicked, I dug it. Locations are also pretty, at the beginning at least. They really fell off by the midpoint.
• Level design is nothing special. They are all pretty linear levels with easy puzzles. Although the gimmicks in some of the levels ranged from fun to downright terrible, with Mission 14 being the worst of it all. While we’re on the topic of design, boss design is alright. They’re fun to fight, albeit forgettable, but some just veneer riiiiight into that annoying category.
• I’ll start talking a bit about the story now so uhhhh yeah it’s pretty easy to see how Bayonetta has cemented herself as a bit of a gaming icon. She’s fun and likable as a character. Unfortunately I cannot say I find her “hot”, I guess my opinion on white women that I reached in my DMC4 review still stands. Alas…either I am fully gay or my dick don’t work 💔. Heartbreaking.
• The other characters are also pretty charismatic and memorable. Rodin and Enzo are fun, Cereza is inoffensive, Luka is really awesome I like him a lot.
• Not all characters are equal however, as stated previously the bosses are really forgettable and act all the same, even the final boss sadly. Same is true for Jeanne, I really think she doesn’t quite reach the height she could have.
• Despite having a mostly fun cast it’s a shame the story itself is so 🛌. The whole angel and demons along with the light and dark shtick was pretty played out by the time this game was released, so it’s pretty sad to see this game do nothing interesting. Even DMC3, despite not having a super strong narrative or anything, is really rich for me in the rivalry between Dante and Vergil, along with the whole family motif. Can’t say the same is true here.
• The game does place quite a big emphasis on the story, more than DMC4 I’d say, which released around the same time. But like DMC4 I can’t say it’s really all that good. I dunno man, I really have no deeper critiques other than me finding it bland and uninspired and seeing some of the twists coming miles away. Like the end of Mission 14 should be emotional, but I don’t think I care. I’d not care for the story but I feel like the game focuses on it a lot, so in my eyes it’d be a disservice if I just ignored it entirely.
Uhmmmm something something balls balls funny joke here. I’m running out of material. The final boss kinda sucked dick, monkey dick to be specific. Sometimes I really felt like this game wanted to deliver a spectacle but it just didn’t hit me like it intended. Still, a really solid game on its own. I do think I could’ve derived much more enjoyment from the game if it’s combat was better as sometimes it just felt very very annoying, but if I’m being completely fair I need to admit that maybe the fault doesn’t really lie with the game but with me. Bit embarrassing to admit but I was not good at this game, even though I wasn’t bad at DMC. Sometimes the problem does lie with me and I should be man enough to admit that. I’m so sure that one day I’ll revisit this game and end up liking it much more, but as it stands it’s a fun action title I recommend.
Oh yeah, happy pride month.
This review contains spoilers
Much like creating a backloggd account, the Metal Gear franchise is something a lot of people have told me to try out for a very long time, but I just haven't gotten into it till now. To be honest, I really didn't have much interest in the series prior to a couple months ago. I randomly decided to buy a copy of MGS 1 on ebay, but even then I only played the game for a couple hours before I stopped. It wasn't till about a week prior to writing this review that I decided to actually play the game properly, and I was pleasantly surprised with just how much I liked the game. It was to the point where I pretty much immediately ordered a copy of MGS 2 as soon as I finished it. For the most part though, it matched my expectations to a tee. Aside from the anti-eugenics messages towards the end of the game, Metal Gear Solid was exactly what I thought it would be based on my limited knowledge of the series: a stealth game with political messages at the core of the story.
Metal Gear Solid 2, however, was nothing like what I expected it to be.
To be completely transparent, that's not a bad thing at all. But it’s almost like MGS 2’s entire mission statement is to subvert the players' expectations. I wasn't even alive for the great trailer bait and switch that they pulled off for this game, but the switch to Raiden still got me. I don't really think I'm fully equipped to do a full on plot analysis of this game– there's quite honestly just too much shit here. MGS 2 takes so many twists and turns that I never in a million years would have expected. I’ll give my thoughts on key aspects of it anyway though. Raiden is a genius protagonist. From almost the moment you meet him it's easy to tell he's meant to represent the player in a lot of ways. He played the same VR missions that you did in MGS1 as his training, and even (presumably) played through MGS 1 just as you did. This fact makes the huge twist at the end even more powerful. It’s hard to tell if the patriots are talking to Raiden or the player themself. Their rant about believing half truths, accepting “their fiction”-- it’s all the more chilling when it feels like they’re staring right at you and talking right into your ear. In a way, it's not that Raiden is supposed to represent the player, Raiden is the player. Like I said, I don't mean to do some huge overall analysis of the games themes here, but it's hard not to wonder if the Patriots S3 plan is Metal Gear Solid 2 itself. By literally playing this game and the first before it, did we fall in line with their plan? Are we the ones meant to be molded into Solid Snake? It's definitely some interesting food for thought. Speaking of the patriots themselves, it’s hard to put into words how exactly I feel about them. Being clearly inspired by Seele from Evangelion, I think they do a MUCH better job of the whole “secret society who controls everything” thing. They feel really threatening, and it's hard to tell just how much they have control over. Like, clearly it's a lot of shit, but it makes you wonder if they planned out everything ever in the history of the world after the United States was born. Which is another question, how long have they even existed for? I'm sure this is something answered later on in the series but for now it just serves to make them even more imposing. A lot of people today say that MGS 2 is still extremely relevant today with its theming. I couldn't agree more, and The Patriots are a lot of why that is to me. The GW AI, when laid out flat and simple, is just a means for the patriots to control any information they don't want people to see on a global scale. Basically large scale internet fascism, and the plain-and-simple way is the way that the characters in the game tend to describe it. But the patriots explanation of it– and their reasoning for it– almost makes you think that they have a point. The massive amounts of garbage information out there and the rapid and easy spread of it, is harmful to the human race. I mean, how many times have your parents believed in some stupid shit they read on facebook? In a way, The Patriots are right. The “half truths” we tend to believe due to all this garbage information does nothing but divide us and create problems. The Patriots want the player to believe that maybe they’re on your side. Maybe they really do have humanity’s best interest in mind… Which is exactly how they get you. You see it all the time in modern capitalist society, but billion dollar corporations get away with so much because they make the consumers believe that they’re your friends. Not that the patriots are on the same scale as just a mere corporation, but it's the same general idea. Something else that makes The Patriots interesting to me is that you are literally forced to comply with their orders. They’re clearly a bad thing for humanity, but you have to follow their orders in the end because Solidus wants you dead anyway. Speaking of Solidus, I find it hard to say what he was trying to do was even truly bad. Like, yeah, obviously blowing up a hydrogen bomb to create a huge EMP blast is sorta bad, and his motivations for doing so were somewhat selfish, but I can’t say I disagree with him wanting to be free from the patriots. The method to his madness wasn’t good, but the man had the right idea. It’s that sort of morally gray quality to solidus that made me like him as a villain more than I thought I would. Overall, the themes of MGS 2 are extremely thought provoking and relevant to this day. I didn't even really scratch the surface of what this game is trying to say, I just hit the parts most interesting to me.
I do have SOME gripes with the story though. First off, Emma’s death is really strange to me. Was I supposed to feel bad? Because I didn't. Emma is kind of a shit person, to be honest. You’re telling me that she WILLINGLY made the fucking Fascism AI (i've decided to call GW that) just so that her brother would notice her? Yeah, fuck off with that. And dont get me started on the weird, vaguely incest-y subtext there too. At least in the first game when Otacon accidentally made the next terrible blight on humanity with REX, it was by accident and he was being manipulated by others. Emma did this for a purely selfish reason that isn't even worth it in the first place. I guess you’re supposed to feel kind of bad for Otacon, but I still had my jaw dropped from the whole “my dad killed himself because I slept with my step mom” part. And the other thing that I have a problem with is… Rose. Rose is a manipulative bitch. She needed to take a break from the mission and get checked for borderline personality disorder or something because holy FUCK this girl would not stop. The intense amount of cognitive dissonance it must take to think that it is appropriate to complain to your boyfriend that he never cuddles with you after you fuck while you’re IN THE MIDDLE OF A MISSION THAT COULD DETERMINE THE FATE OF HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS MAYBE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE is INSANE. I think sometimes their relationship is cute, but for 90% of the game i wished i could break through my crt and personally tell Jack to break up with her on the fucking spot. Rose either needs to start smoking hella more weed or to get some serious psychiatric help.
As far as gameplay goes, I don't have as much to say about it as I do the story. It plays almost the exact same as the first game, just with some tweeks. First person mode is super nice, and I really liked the addition of the M9. I didn't really like that you had to go to a node to be able to use the radar everytime you went somewhere new, though. I guess it’s more challenging, but it's honestly more frustrating than anything. I also feel like sometimes the way that it was impossible to defeat enemies once they spotted you was a little annoying. Although, it definitely made the moment where you get the sword at the end and get to slice through all those enemies way more triumphant. The sword was so fucking cool, i wish you got more time with it earlier on even if it would break the game in half completely. I also really liked the big shell as a location. You end up almost memorizing the place in your head by the end and honestly it's just a really well designed place. It’s easy to understand on the surface yet complex enough for it to be a good location for the entire game to take place in. There's so many cool little details packed into this game, and i didnt even get to find all of them. There's probably an endless list of just the tiniest details in this game that exist to make the game feel more alive that most people probably wont ever notice, which just goes to show how much of a good job those things did at helping with immersion. Also, I'm baffled to know this game only came out a month after the ps2’s launch. Visually, this game is kind of stunning. I know i'm just biased towards the way ps2 games look in general, but seriously i think this game looks fucking amazing graphically.
I think that's about everything I have to say about this game. A lot of this was just organized rambling, but I hoped you enjoyed it anyway. Metal Gear Solid 2 is a masterpiece. Play it imo its peak
Metal Gear Solid 2, however, was nothing like what I expected it to be.
To be completely transparent, that's not a bad thing at all. But it’s almost like MGS 2’s entire mission statement is to subvert the players' expectations. I wasn't even alive for the great trailer bait and switch that they pulled off for this game, but the switch to Raiden still got me. I don't really think I'm fully equipped to do a full on plot analysis of this game– there's quite honestly just too much shit here. MGS 2 takes so many twists and turns that I never in a million years would have expected. I’ll give my thoughts on key aspects of it anyway though. Raiden is a genius protagonist. From almost the moment you meet him it's easy to tell he's meant to represent the player in a lot of ways. He played the same VR missions that you did in MGS1 as his training, and even (presumably) played through MGS 1 just as you did. This fact makes the huge twist at the end even more powerful. It’s hard to tell if the patriots are talking to Raiden or the player themself. Their rant about believing half truths, accepting “their fiction”-- it’s all the more chilling when it feels like they’re staring right at you and talking right into your ear. In a way, it's not that Raiden is supposed to represent the player, Raiden is the player. Like I said, I don't mean to do some huge overall analysis of the games themes here, but it's hard not to wonder if the Patriots S3 plan is Metal Gear Solid 2 itself. By literally playing this game and the first before it, did we fall in line with their plan? Are we the ones meant to be molded into Solid Snake? It's definitely some interesting food for thought. Speaking of the patriots themselves, it’s hard to put into words how exactly I feel about them. Being clearly inspired by Seele from Evangelion, I think they do a MUCH better job of the whole “secret society who controls everything” thing. They feel really threatening, and it's hard to tell just how much they have control over. Like, clearly it's a lot of shit, but it makes you wonder if they planned out everything ever in the history of the world after the United States was born. Which is another question, how long have they even existed for? I'm sure this is something answered later on in the series but for now it just serves to make them even more imposing. A lot of people today say that MGS 2 is still extremely relevant today with its theming. I couldn't agree more, and The Patriots are a lot of why that is to me. The GW AI, when laid out flat and simple, is just a means for the patriots to control any information they don't want people to see on a global scale. Basically large scale internet fascism, and the plain-and-simple way is the way that the characters in the game tend to describe it. But the patriots explanation of it– and their reasoning for it– almost makes you think that they have a point. The massive amounts of garbage information out there and the rapid and easy spread of it, is harmful to the human race. I mean, how many times have your parents believed in some stupid shit they read on facebook? In a way, The Patriots are right. The “half truths” we tend to believe due to all this garbage information does nothing but divide us and create problems. The Patriots want the player to believe that maybe they’re on your side. Maybe they really do have humanity’s best interest in mind… Which is exactly how they get you. You see it all the time in modern capitalist society, but billion dollar corporations get away with so much because they make the consumers believe that they’re your friends. Not that the patriots are on the same scale as just a mere corporation, but it's the same general idea. Something else that makes The Patriots interesting to me is that you are literally forced to comply with their orders. They’re clearly a bad thing for humanity, but you have to follow their orders in the end because Solidus wants you dead anyway. Speaking of Solidus, I find it hard to say what he was trying to do was even truly bad. Like, yeah, obviously blowing up a hydrogen bomb to create a huge EMP blast is sorta bad, and his motivations for doing so were somewhat selfish, but I can’t say I disagree with him wanting to be free from the patriots. The method to his madness wasn’t good, but the man had the right idea. It’s that sort of morally gray quality to solidus that made me like him as a villain more than I thought I would. Overall, the themes of MGS 2 are extremely thought provoking and relevant to this day. I didn't even really scratch the surface of what this game is trying to say, I just hit the parts most interesting to me.
I do have SOME gripes with the story though. First off, Emma’s death is really strange to me. Was I supposed to feel bad? Because I didn't. Emma is kind of a shit person, to be honest. You’re telling me that she WILLINGLY made the fucking Fascism AI (i've decided to call GW that) just so that her brother would notice her? Yeah, fuck off with that. And dont get me started on the weird, vaguely incest-y subtext there too. At least in the first game when Otacon accidentally made the next terrible blight on humanity with REX, it was by accident and he was being manipulated by others. Emma did this for a purely selfish reason that isn't even worth it in the first place. I guess you’re supposed to feel kind of bad for Otacon, but I still had my jaw dropped from the whole “my dad killed himself because I slept with my step mom” part. And the other thing that I have a problem with is… Rose. Rose is a manipulative bitch. She needed to take a break from the mission and get checked for borderline personality disorder or something because holy FUCK this girl would not stop. The intense amount of cognitive dissonance it must take to think that it is appropriate to complain to your boyfriend that he never cuddles with you after you fuck while you’re IN THE MIDDLE OF A MISSION THAT COULD DETERMINE THE FATE OF HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS MAYBE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE is INSANE. I think sometimes their relationship is cute, but for 90% of the game i wished i could break through my crt and personally tell Jack to break up with her on the fucking spot. Rose either needs to start smoking hella more weed or to get some serious psychiatric help.
As far as gameplay goes, I don't have as much to say about it as I do the story. It plays almost the exact same as the first game, just with some tweeks. First person mode is super nice, and I really liked the addition of the M9. I didn't really like that you had to go to a node to be able to use the radar everytime you went somewhere new, though. I guess it’s more challenging, but it's honestly more frustrating than anything. I also feel like sometimes the way that it was impossible to defeat enemies once they spotted you was a little annoying. Although, it definitely made the moment where you get the sword at the end and get to slice through all those enemies way more triumphant. The sword was so fucking cool, i wish you got more time with it earlier on even if it would break the game in half completely. I also really liked the big shell as a location. You end up almost memorizing the place in your head by the end and honestly it's just a really well designed place. It’s easy to understand on the surface yet complex enough for it to be a good location for the entire game to take place in. There's so many cool little details packed into this game, and i didnt even get to find all of them. There's probably an endless list of just the tiniest details in this game that exist to make the game feel more alive that most people probably wont ever notice, which just goes to show how much of a good job those things did at helping with immersion. Also, I'm baffled to know this game only came out a month after the ps2’s launch. Visually, this game is kind of stunning. I know i'm just biased towards the way ps2 games look in general, but seriously i think this game looks fucking amazing graphically.
I think that's about everything I have to say about this game. A lot of this was just organized rambling, but I hoped you enjoyed it anyway. Metal Gear Solid 2 is a masterpiece. Play it imo its peak
Rhythm Heaven Fever
2011
imagine naming your kid fucking Ann Glerr dude
Yakuza 2
2006
Where Yakuza shone, its sequel shines way brighter, and even shines on the areas not touched by the first game's light.
This game's greatest area of improvement over its predecessor is in the combat. I have my grievances with Y1's combat; although it can be mitigated, there's no doubt in mind it was extremely rough still. Anything that wasn't a 1-on-1 fight could, at times, prove itself to be a pain in the ass due to the somewhat awkward physics and unreliable lock-on. I didn't hold it against the game as it was a first attempt, but I hoped it'd be improved on.
Yakuza 2 takes the wishes I had for it to get better and soared high above my expectations. In addition to the fixed lock-on system meaning you can finally count on your punches to land where you want them to (provided you're not just straight up missing people), the pace of combat has also been noticeably sped up. There's more an emphasis on the flow you can achieve while fighting enemies, especially evident when you unlock double and grab finishers to dish out more damage in tandem with reversal moves to beat down the next guy in your sights; by keeping this flow, you minimize the chances the enemy gets to land a hit on you, becoming a god of the arena like the badass Kiryu is. This proves Yakuza 2 not only rights where the first game's combat went wrong, but also goes out of its way to capitalize on its strengths and make something far greater out of it.
Arguably just as noteworthy a positive is the game's story. While the first game found itself near squarely focused on Kiryu's relationship with Haruka and the mystery of the missing 10 billion yen, Yakuza 2 plays with many more narratives than just furthering Kiryu's end goal with an occasional detour; many different storylines to do with different characters are set up, all finally being resolved and converging into the the stakes at play during the finale. What may sound worryingly convoluted is handled insanely well; every storyline gets the focus it needs to and nothing felt undercooked. Nearing the end of the game left me in utter shock at the reveals the game built up to and how it all tied into Kiryu's conflict with Ryuji Goda and the Jingweon Mafia.
A major strength also within the story is the re-contextualization of old locations and plot beats you visited back in the first game. It's only been a year since the events of Y1, yet it feels like so much has changed while you were gone. Seeing a place like Serena abandoned, knowing it was once Kiryu's favorite spot where he could hang out and drink with his late childhood friends.. that shit hurts, and it hurts bad. It also makes it just more genuinely nice to see what characters like Date, the Stardust crew, and even prior minor characters had been up to during the year-long break. This passage of time working in the game's favor seems like something Yakuza will play around with in spades according to this and my time with the third game, and that makes me pretty happy because I love the world of Yakuza that's been built so far.
At the heart of it all is Kiryu's budding relationship with Osaka police officer Kaoru Sayama. Originally somewhat of a foil to Kiryu upon her introduction, over time you get to watch the two understand each other more and beginning to care deeply for one another, inspiring them both to be better people by the end of the game through the trials and tribulations they face and the heart-to-heart moments they have together. Their relationship is what makes moments like the scene of Kiryu in the rain at his lowest point so masterful; he rejects the thought of deserving death as an atonement for his past actions and moves forward with a new lease on life, all thanks to Kaoru's words and how much he means to him. And plus, it's all set to some sweet-ass tunes.
It's not uncommon for a sequel to improve on the original, but it's spectacular to see it happen this well. I haven't even mentioned the kickass OST, or gone in-depth into the wicked moves you can pull in combat, or the additional areas, activities, and substories that make the world of Yakuza so much more fun to explore. But your time is as valuable as mine, so I'll leave you with this: Yakuza 2 is amazing, and will no doubt prove to be a highlight of my journey through this series.
This game's greatest area of improvement over its predecessor is in the combat. I have my grievances with Y1's combat; although it can be mitigated, there's no doubt in mind it was extremely rough still. Anything that wasn't a 1-on-1 fight could, at times, prove itself to be a pain in the ass due to the somewhat awkward physics and unreliable lock-on. I didn't hold it against the game as it was a first attempt, but I hoped it'd be improved on.
Yakuza 2 takes the wishes I had for it to get better and soared high above my expectations. In addition to the fixed lock-on system meaning you can finally count on your punches to land where you want them to (provided you're not just straight up missing people), the pace of combat has also been noticeably sped up. There's more an emphasis on the flow you can achieve while fighting enemies, especially evident when you unlock double and grab finishers to dish out more damage in tandem with reversal moves to beat down the next guy in your sights; by keeping this flow, you minimize the chances the enemy gets to land a hit on you, becoming a god of the arena like the badass Kiryu is. This proves Yakuza 2 not only rights where the first game's combat went wrong, but also goes out of its way to capitalize on its strengths and make something far greater out of it.
Arguably just as noteworthy a positive is the game's story. While the first game found itself near squarely focused on Kiryu's relationship with Haruka and the mystery of the missing 10 billion yen, Yakuza 2 plays with many more narratives than just furthering Kiryu's end goal with an occasional detour; many different storylines to do with different characters are set up, all finally being resolved and converging into the the stakes at play during the finale. What may sound worryingly convoluted is handled insanely well; every storyline gets the focus it needs to and nothing felt undercooked. Nearing the end of the game left me in utter shock at the reveals the game built up to and how it all tied into Kiryu's conflict with Ryuji Goda and the Jingweon Mafia.
A major strength also within the story is the re-contextualization of old locations and plot beats you visited back in the first game. It's only been a year since the events of Y1, yet it feels like so much has changed while you were gone. Seeing a place like Serena abandoned, knowing it was once Kiryu's favorite spot where he could hang out and drink with his late childhood friends.. that shit hurts, and it hurts bad. It also makes it just more genuinely nice to see what characters like Date, the Stardust crew, and even prior minor characters had been up to during the year-long break. This passage of time working in the game's favor seems like something Yakuza will play around with in spades according to this and my time with the third game, and that makes me pretty happy because I love the world of Yakuza that's been built so far.
At the heart of it all is Kiryu's budding relationship with Osaka police officer Kaoru Sayama. Originally somewhat of a foil to Kiryu upon her introduction, over time you get to watch the two understand each other more and beginning to care deeply for one another, inspiring them both to be better people by the end of the game through the trials and tribulations they face and the heart-to-heart moments they have together. Their relationship is what makes moments like the scene of Kiryu in the rain at his lowest point so masterful; he rejects the thought of deserving death as an atonement for his past actions and moves forward with a new lease on life, all thanks to Kaoru's words and how much he means to him. And plus, it's all set to some sweet-ass tunes.
It's not uncommon for a sequel to improve on the original, but it's spectacular to see it happen this well. I haven't even mentioned the kickass OST, or gone in-depth into the wicked moves you can pull in combat, or the additional areas, activities, and substories that make the world of Yakuza so much more fun to explore. But your time is as valuable as mine, so I'll leave you with this: Yakuza 2 is amazing, and will no doubt prove to be a highlight of my journey through this series.
The other day I heard someone describe how Devil May Cry 4's ending became a really somber moment for them. This confused me but after thinking about it some more I understand it if you were a DMC fan. You had to be disappointed by DMC4's lackluster quality, and whatever the hell DmC was, as a franchise you loved was put on ice. That "will we meet again?" at the end of DMC4 really becomes something more as I keep thinking about it. The feeling of uncertainty if there will ever be a new entry again, and if it will even be good.
11 years later, and they delivered.
That's what's always going to be the most amazing thing about DMC5. That it is Devil May Cry 5. A new entry that's as Devil May Cry as they come. It picks up on the pieces from DMC4 and builds upon everything to deliver such an enjoyable and unforgettable experience that left me smiling.
Nero is back and he continues his arc from 4. His gameplay has been slightly retooled as in place of Devil Bringer he's given Devil Breakers which adds a pretty big amount of freedom in combat. I kept finding myself experimenting with new Devil Breakers as much as I could.
Dante...hnghrgh~
He's nothing to scoff at either. Man he plays so well in this game that I squealed like a twink bouncing on dick at his gameplay. If I'm honest Dante can be very overwhelming due to the fact that you're given a lot of options regarding how you want to play it but once you get it down he's a god.
There's also the newcomer, V. I didn't know if I'd like V, but after beating the game I can say I really enjoyed his characterization as well as his gameplay. When it comes to my group of friends I'm in a very weird position with V as I neither wholly love him nor do I find his sections boring. It really is commendable that V is a very large departure from the usual Devil May Cry gameplay yet he still ends up being a great deal of fun. Although it really should be addressed that on a whole, V is pretty easy. The problem with V just comes down to there being a lack of skill when it comes to his sections at his part as without even trying I was hitting SS ranks easily. I'm not gonna say that a character of his playstyle doesn't belong in DMC as that'd just be wrong, but I would really love to see if they ever build on a character that plays like him if they ever make a DMC6.
Level Design is where I'm left confused on the game. The levels are indeed fun but something I realised very early on us that a large portion of them are missing the puzzles you'd find in earlier DMC games. Do I like this change? Well I can't say I dislike it but I do think it can take out the uniqueness of levels, although I can't say I much enjoyed the puzzles I encountered in DMC3 and 4 that much. If I had to guess I think this was done so the game would be accessible to newer players
In my DMC4 review, I talked about how that game lacked a strong atmosphere of earlier DMC titled and has aged the worst graphically in my eyes. DMC5 fixed this for the most part, the levels really are pretty immersive to the point where I could almost feel the cool morning breeze of Redgrave City, but I can't say it's as strong as earlier DMC titles. Also it remain to be seen if this game ages graphically as much as DMC4, but I don't think it will if I'm honest.
Did I talk about the story yet? The story really rocks I can't lie. Narratives haven't been this franchise's strong suit but I will admit I never minded that as it really was apparent that it was not one of the core focuses of the franchise. DMC3 relies on a lot of subtext and symbolism for its narrative which I've spent a lot of time analysing but I can't say I was ever moved by it or fell in love with it but I can appreciate what was there. DMC5 on the surface isn't much different as its still a pretty fun action story yet there's a greater deal placed on the narrative this time, and while yes the later section can feel a bit contrived I really do like it. I love the fact that they didn't toss DMC4 aside and continued Nero's story. I love the fact that the game acknowledges the series history to the point where it's pulling in references from the DMC anime and even fucking DmC of all things. What a wild ride.
Oh yeah, this is the Special Edition so there's also Vergil's campaign which I played through. Gameplay wise, Vergil's very fun but he's also pretty easy, not as easy as V I'd argue but I don't really mind it as his campaign is something you play after the game has finished and I don't think it's a big deal to have an OP character as post game content. Something I should address about Vergil. He's hot as fuck. I've battled with the feeling of whether I want to FUCK Vergil or be FUCKED by him. Knowing Vergil you'd assume that he would refuse to bottom and obviously choose the latter, right? Well, I disagree. Reader, have you ever heard of the term "power bottom"? I heard it the other day. I don't fucking know what it means but I assume it has something to do with sex, and it has power in the name. Power... Vergil loves power...yes please bust this twink down NOW.
Oh yeah also Mission 20 as Vergil is the coolest thing ever lmao
There's a bunch of shit that I didn't get the chance to talk but I don't wanna drag out this review for much longer. I really do feel confident that this might be the greatest action game ever made and I tip my hat to Itsuno and his team for giving it their all. Playing this game made me wanna replay the franchise all over again and I'm sure I'll revisit this game countless time over the years, slowly trying to master it to the best of my ability. Until then, goodbye Devil May Cry. It's been a blast.
11 years later, and they delivered.
That's what's always going to be the most amazing thing about DMC5. That it is Devil May Cry 5. A new entry that's as Devil May Cry as they come. It picks up on the pieces from DMC4 and builds upon everything to deliver such an enjoyable and unforgettable experience that left me smiling.
Nero is back and he continues his arc from 4. His gameplay has been slightly retooled as in place of Devil Bringer he's given Devil Breakers which adds a pretty big amount of freedom in combat. I kept finding myself experimenting with new Devil Breakers as much as I could.
Dante...hnghrgh~
He's nothing to scoff at either. Man he plays so well in this game that I squealed like a twink bouncing on dick at his gameplay. If I'm honest Dante can be very overwhelming due to the fact that you're given a lot of options regarding how you want to play it but once you get it down he's a god.
There's also the newcomer, V. I didn't know if I'd like V, but after beating the game I can say I really enjoyed his characterization as well as his gameplay. When it comes to my group of friends I'm in a very weird position with V as I neither wholly love him nor do I find his sections boring. It really is commendable that V is a very large departure from the usual Devil May Cry gameplay yet he still ends up being a great deal of fun. Although it really should be addressed that on a whole, V is pretty easy. The problem with V just comes down to there being a lack of skill when it comes to his sections at his part as without even trying I was hitting SS ranks easily. I'm not gonna say that a character of his playstyle doesn't belong in DMC as that'd just be wrong, but I would really love to see if they ever build on a character that plays like him if they ever make a DMC6.
Level Design is where I'm left confused on the game. The levels are indeed fun but something I realised very early on us that a large portion of them are missing the puzzles you'd find in earlier DMC games. Do I like this change? Well I can't say I dislike it but I do think it can take out the uniqueness of levels, although I can't say I much enjoyed the puzzles I encountered in DMC3 and 4 that much. If I had to guess I think this was done so the game would be accessible to newer players
In my DMC4 review, I talked about how that game lacked a strong atmosphere of earlier DMC titled and has aged the worst graphically in my eyes. DMC5 fixed this for the most part, the levels really are pretty immersive to the point where I could almost feel the cool morning breeze of Redgrave City, but I can't say it's as strong as earlier DMC titles. Also it remain to be seen if this game ages graphically as much as DMC4, but I don't think it will if I'm honest.
Did I talk about the story yet? The story really rocks I can't lie. Narratives haven't been this franchise's strong suit but I will admit I never minded that as it really was apparent that it was not one of the core focuses of the franchise. DMC3 relies on a lot of subtext and symbolism for its narrative which I've spent a lot of time analysing but I can't say I was ever moved by it or fell in love with it but I can appreciate what was there. DMC5 on the surface isn't much different as its still a pretty fun action story yet there's a greater deal placed on the narrative this time, and while yes the later section can feel a bit contrived I really do like it. I love the fact that they didn't toss DMC4 aside and continued Nero's story. I love the fact that the game acknowledges the series history to the point where it's pulling in references from the DMC anime and even fucking DmC of all things. What a wild ride.
Oh yeah, this is the Special Edition so there's also Vergil's campaign which I played through. Gameplay wise, Vergil's very fun but he's also pretty easy, not as easy as V I'd argue but I don't really mind it as his campaign is something you play after the game has finished and I don't think it's a big deal to have an OP character as post game content. Something I should address about Vergil. He's hot as fuck. I've battled with the feeling of whether I want to FUCK Vergil or be FUCKED by him. Knowing Vergil you'd assume that he would refuse to bottom and obviously choose the latter, right? Well, I disagree. Reader, have you ever heard of the term "power bottom"? I heard it the other day. I don't fucking know what it means but I assume it has something to do with sex, and it has power in the name. Power... Vergil loves power...yes please bust this twink down NOW.
Oh yeah also Mission 20 as Vergil is the coolest thing ever lmao
There's a bunch of shit that I didn't get the chance to talk but I don't wanna drag out this review for much longer. I really do feel confident that this might be the greatest action game ever made and I tip my hat to Itsuno and his team for giving it their all. Playing this game made me wanna replay the franchise all over again and I'm sure I'll revisit this game countless time over the years, slowly trying to master it to the best of my ability. Until then, goodbye Devil May Cry. It's been a blast.
conrad is literally just fire emblem tuxedo mask
Ridge Racer Type 4
1998
The amount of praises I've seen people sing about this game had led me to believe that I was being played a fool, and a bunch of video game intellectuals™ with writing capabilities far better than mine had gotten around on a round table and decided "Hm yes this is the new niche PlayStation 1 video game we will be gassing up on Backloggd dot com this week."
After playing it through myself, yeah it's pretty good. I still don't get most of the praise but not like it should really matter. People like what they like and I like this game. I'm sorry Josh_The_Fourth.
After playing it through myself, yeah it's pretty good. I still don't get most of the praise but not like it should really matter. People like what they like and I like this game. I'm sorry Josh_The_Fourth.
This was an
Interesting Experience.
I still don’t really know how I feel about it.
It is unfortunate this game didn't get the proper care and polish it deserved. What we did get though is at least a commendable attempt to wrap ip the trilogy. At the very least this remains the only game in the franchise I have not successfully predicted even one of the twists off so, Hats off to the ZE team for that at least.
As far as the gameplay goes, Puzzles are easily the strong point as expected. The new flowchart system does take some time to get used to but is easy to understand. As for story, there are a fee elements I adore, especially everything involving D-Team, and all of the wholly new characters, especially Carlos and Diana are great ( not you though Mira)
A lot of the foreshadowing in retrospect is also very fucking good, and there was a lot of care put into the finer details, even if the bigger ones didn't get the same treatment.
It was overall a enjoyable conclusion to this franchise (even if it deserved so so much better).
Also Fuck You Mira
Interesting Experience.
I still don’t really know how I feel about it.
It is unfortunate this game didn't get the proper care and polish it deserved. What we did get though is at least a commendable attempt to wrap ip the trilogy. At the very least this remains the only game in the franchise I have not successfully predicted even one of the twists off so, Hats off to the ZE team for that at least.
As far as the gameplay goes, Puzzles are easily the strong point as expected. The new flowchart system does take some time to get used to but is easy to understand. As for story, there are a fee elements I adore, especially everything involving D-Team, and all of the wholly new characters, especially Carlos and Diana are great ( not you though Mira)
A lot of the foreshadowing in retrospect is also very fucking good, and there was a lot of care put into the finer details, even if the bigger ones didn't get the same treatment.
It was overall a enjoyable conclusion to this franchise (even if it deserved so so much better).
Also Fuck You Mira
Yakuza 2
2006
This review contains spoilers
"A real man should be a little stupid" is a line said during the climax of Yakuza 2 that succinctly summarizes its own design philosophy. "A good game should be a little bad" fits this game like a glove, and rightfully so; for every apex in this game, there's an equally stupid nadir. But, that's part of the plan, isn't it? To make a good game is to carefully create a bad one at the same time. Maybe the best parts of this game shine all the brighter because it will regularly drag you through the mud in between them. It's something to consider.
There's a lot, probably far too fucking much I could comment about on this game. Let me run through some of the more significant things I want to touch on in no particular order:
- There is a staggering amount of content in this game. The PS2 was a titan that hosted gargantuan-sized games, and this one might be the most impressive I've seen. Keep in mind, this is a game that speedrun.com champs have cleared in a little over 2 hours just going from point A to point B. I 100%'d basically everything in the game sans the minigame score requirements (because they are frankly fucking insane to invest your time in), and my final playtime? 80 hours. What's most impressive is how easy it is to miss the lion's share of content here. SEGA NE R&D (which would eventually become RGG Studio) put an obscene amount of effort into this game's side content, and even if some of it is horrible, the batting average is good enough to warrant high praise.
- Yakuza 2 in general had a tremendous problem it needed to overcome from the getgo with me. See, I liked Yakuza 1. I greatly liked its ending and how much closure it gave while also giving a hopeful ending to the tale of blood and tragedy. So, I entered Y2 with a simple question: Why bring back Kazuma Kiryu? Why not use another character? I'm happy to say that this game largely justifies Kazuma's presence and the need to have him specifically be the protagonist. The game does shaft the SHIT out of Haruka, though, and that subplot about Kazuma trying to sign her away to a talent agency? Absolutely wretched and character devaluing. Besides that? Great premise and hook. And the ending itself outdoes 1 in how final it feels for Kazuma's story. I truly do not want to play Yakuza 3 or any other sequels because I do not want his story to go on beyond this. I want Kazuma Kiryu to stay in his happy ending that he earned after much blood, sweat, and tears. I want him and Kaoru raise Haruka and have a happily ever after moment. I don't want a sequel. And you know what? That is how you know I'm fucking invested, I fear.
- Ryuji Goda is a spectacular villain and I have a feeling the sequels' villains are going to live in his shadow. Having literal gay sex is less gay than whatever the fuck was going on when Kazuma uses the Bolt Finish on Ryuji.
- The plot is almost all hits and I was greatly invested from start to finish. That said, holy shit did the "Ryuji is Kaoru's brother" twist fuck me off hard. Not only does it not make sense that Ryuji would be related to Kaoru in terms of appearance (does Ryuji bleach his hair? he didn't have blond hair when we see him as a child and his roots never show in the game, giving you no adequate way to foretell the twist), but it also gives Kaoru an extremely stupid "I NEED TO TALK TO HIM ALONE WE'RE BLOOD-RELATED SO HE'LL LISTEN TO ME" moment. The entire time Ryuji laid dying in her arms, I felt bad thinking it, but holy fuck did none of it work for me. These two characters did not interact prior to this plot twist! Why should I give a shit about their interactions afterwards or believe that they would give a shit? As far as twists go, it's largely unnecessary to have them specifically be related. You can just have them both independently be Jingweon while simultaneously excising the entire Ryuji brother subplot, because 0% of it worked.
- That one side mission where you have to play Mahjong with a colossal disadvantage in points? That one side mission where you have to win 1000 medals from a slot machine that pays them out at a glacial pace? The golfing pro side mission? Fuck you. Some of the worst content I have played in any game ever, my god.
- Thank god they improved the combat in this game. From what Wikipedia dot org has informed me, that was apparently their number one priority going into the sequel, and it definitely shows. In 1, combat was novel at best, sloppy at worst, mindless most of the time. In 2, there's a lot more fun to be had, and the controls feel more fluid and responsive. The camera still operates on a tilt-a-whirl, but, at this point, I've gotten used to it. The amount and variety of heat actions makes the game more intrinsically fun as well; giving the player their own little list of what heat actions they've done is a nice touch. The polish here goes a long way, and even though so many assets from 1are reused, it doesn't feel like corners were cut or anything was put in as padding. It feels like a natural extension of the formula and setting. Best of both worlds for the dev team.
Beyond that, my knee-jerk reaction is to say that this is one of the most ambitious games of the PS2 generation. It startles me just how little I heard about this game until well after it was released, and even coming back to it now, calling it "overlooked" feels too tame a compliment for it. Honestly, had I not burned myself out on some of the side content in this game and poisoned my own well, I could see myself calling this a favorite of the console, if not overall. Maybe time will help me marinate on that opinion a bit more and smooth out the rougher parts of my experience with this game. Time makes the heart grow fonder, and, in my case, it makes me more appreciative of flawed gems I've played.
There's a lot, probably far too fucking much I could comment about on this game. Let me run through some of the more significant things I want to touch on in no particular order:
- There is a staggering amount of content in this game. The PS2 was a titan that hosted gargantuan-sized games, and this one might be the most impressive I've seen. Keep in mind, this is a game that speedrun.com champs have cleared in a little over 2 hours just going from point A to point B. I 100%'d basically everything in the game sans the minigame score requirements (because they are frankly fucking insane to invest your time in), and my final playtime? 80 hours. What's most impressive is how easy it is to miss the lion's share of content here. SEGA NE R&D (which would eventually become RGG Studio) put an obscene amount of effort into this game's side content, and even if some of it is horrible, the batting average is good enough to warrant high praise.
- Yakuza 2 in general had a tremendous problem it needed to overcome from the getgo with me. See, I liked Yakuza 1. I greatly liked its ending and how much closure it gave while also giving a hopeful ending to the tale of blood and tragedy. So, I entered Y2 with a simple question: Why bring back Kazuma Kiryu? Why not use another character? I'm happy to say that this game largely justifies Kazuma's presence and the need to have him specifically be the protagonist. The game does shaft the SHIT out of Haruka, though, and that subplot about Kazuma trying to sign her away to a talent agency? Absolutely wretched and character devaluing. Besides that? Great premise and hook. And the ending itself outdoes 1 in how final it feels for Kazuma's story. I truly do not want to play Yakuza 3 or any other sequels because I do not want his story to go on beyond this. I want Kazuma Kiryu to stay in his happy ending that he earned after much blood, sweat, and tears. I want him and Kaoru raise Haruka and have a happily ever after moment. I don't want a sequel. And you know what? That is how you know I'm fucking invested, I fear.
- Ryuji Goda is a spectacular villain and I have a feeling the sequels' villains are going to live in his shadow. Having literal gay sex is less gay than whatever the fuck was going on when Kazuma uses the Bolt Finish on Ryuji.
- The plot is almost all hits and I was greatly invested from start to finish. That said, holy shit did the "Ryuji is Kaoru's brother" twist fuck me off hard. Not only does it not make sense that Ryuji would be related to Kaoru in terms of appearance (does Ryuji bleach his hair? he didn't have blond hair when we see him as a child and his roots never show in the game, giving you no adequate way to foretell the twist), but it also gives Kaoru an extremely stupid "I NEED TO TALK TO HIM ALONE WE'RE BLOOD-RELATED SO HE'LL LISTEN TO ME" moment. The entire time Ryuji laid dying in her arms, I felt bad thinking it, but holy fuck did none of it work for me. These two characters did not interact prior to this plot twist! Why should I give a shit about their interactions afterwards or believe that they would give a shit? As far as twists go, it's largely unnecessary to have them specifically be related. You can just have them both independently be Jingweon while simultaneously excising the entire Ryuji brother subplot, because 0% of it worked.
- That one side mission where you have to play Mahjong with a colossal disadvantage in points? That one side mission where you have to win 1000 medals from a slot machine that pays them out at a glacial pace? The golfing pro side mission? Fuck you. Some of the worst content I have played in any game ever, my god.
- Thank god they improved the combat in this game. From what Wikipedia dot org has informed me, that was apparently their number one priority going into the sequel, and it definitely shows. In 1, combat was novel at best, sloppy at worst, mindless most of the time. In 2, there's a lot more fun to be had, and the controls feel more fluid and responsive. The camera still operates on a tilt-a-whirl, but, at this point, I've gotten used to it. The amount and variety of heat actions makes the game more intrinsically fun as well; giving the player their own little list of what heat actions they've done is a nice touch. The polish here goes a long way, and even though so many assets from 1are reused, it doesn't feel like corners were cut or anything was put in as padding. It feels like a natural extension of the formula and setting. Best of both worlds for the dev team.
Beyond that, my knee-jerk reaction is to say that this is one of the most ambitious games of the PS2 generation. It startles me just how little I heard about this game until well after it was released, and even coming back to it now, calling it "overlooked" feels too tame a compliment for it. Honestly, had I not burned myself out on some of the side content in this game and poisoned my own well, I could see myself calling this a favorite of the console, if not overall. Maybe time will help me marinate on that opinion a bit more and smooth out the rougher parts of my experience with this game. Time makes the heart grow fonder, and, in my case, it makes me more appreciative of flawed gems I've played.
"I'm going to fucking kill myself" were the words I found myself uttering over and over while I played this game.
Coming off of the third game you'd expect Devil May Cry 4 to be much better than it is. Enter NERO. Moody and arrogant, in essence he is HIM. You know I had a really funny joke regarding Nero but it's too funny and I'm absurdly proud of it so I'm going to save it for later and don't you fucking dare say that it probably wasn't gonna be funny it absolutely fucking is everyone I've told it to has laughed at it fuck you. Anyways this kind of thing is exactly what DMC4, it set ups tons of things which make you feel like this will be "peak peak goatly goat raw fire", you kill demons in the first level that banger of a soundtrack comes in and you are getting into the grove of playing as Nero and just when you've had enough of the foreplay the game rips your nuts apart by having dogshit level design and enemies which range from mediocre to annoying
Devil Bringer is really something I felt was missing in DMC3, a way to bridge the gap between you and the enemies outside of mashing Stinger. The game is smart with it as almost every enemy in the game feels like they're designed with Devil Bringer in mind, right down to the bosses. Speaking of which, how are they bosses? Well they start off all right and it all goes downhill when I got to Mission 6 and went "oh my god this is so dogshit". Agnus can SHOVE those fucking swords UP HIS ASSHOLE and fiddle them around like a fucking DILDO and I hope that he doesn't have a G-spot cause my god that fucking FUCK does not deserve any form of pleasure. Then in the last 8 missions they start fucking reusing bosses like crazy to the point where the second final/final boss (depending on who you ask) is just a fucking beefier version of a boss you've fought before and they made said boss even MORE dog shit fuck your fucking BUBBLES fuck YOU.
Right when you get the hang of Nero the game throws you a curve ball and gives you control of Dante and baby? This was the best Dante yet, gameplay wise. "YEEESSSS BRO YESS 😍🥰🥵" was my reaction once I remembered how to play Dante. I should add that I didn't buy this game myself to play it but got it from a friend, and I noticed that she had bought souls with real world money, so I had an abundance of souls at the beginning which I spent into upgrading myself. In hindsight I'm kind of grateful for it as it gave me the chance to get my bearings in the game without being overwhelmed but when I got to Dante's section I was running low on souls. Fuck you Angela could you have seriously not bought MORE??? WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR THE LAST FUCKING HALF OF THE GAME?? PLAY IT NORMALLY? Fuck you it costs like 2 fucking pounds, are you really THAT broke???? And don't you dare act like you don't have 2 pounds, I am the poor broke boy from a third world country, NOT you. So please sell that fucking Nando's gift card already and give ME the fucking money you are fucking RUINING my gaming experience.
Remember how I said how each enemy was designed with Nero in mind? Well that comes back to bite this game in the ass when you play as Dante cause it's something that becomes really apparent especially when you start to fight old bosses again. Don't worry my DEAR reader, I didn't do a gamer rage moment and throw my controller. No, I'm a civilised man. I just beat the shit out of cardboard boxes like a REAL man cause this game is for REAL men like me and nobody should dare challenge me on that fucking front.
Level design and atmosphere is something that's also worse in this game. As bad as DMC2 is I will at least admit that due to the fact it reused a lot of shit from DMC1, it remained just as atmospheric. DMC3 was also really atmospheric! And I know DMC4 came out during the height of ugly brown Unreal Engine 3 games but goddamn does this game not hold up as well graphically as 1 and 3. I could really go on about how shit some of the puzzles in these levels are like holy fuck DICE WOO DICE it's fucking YAHTZEE ALL OVER AGAIN but I feel like I'd add nothing to the discussion except dry humping a limp corpse while I go "what's up my fellow Devil May Cry-ers I am also on the team".
Now we come to the story and there's really nothing much to be said. I don't CARE about old dude, I DON'T care about evil scientist, I don't CARE about the fact the girl who has 3 minutes of screentime. Nero aside, all new characters are a bust and even old characters take a hit. Still, I fucking laughed out loud when Dante used Royal Guard in his boss fight. Although, there is one new character I'd like to talk about...Gloria.
Let me start off by saying that, as you may have surmised, me and "sex" don't have the best of relations. I never had sex-ed in school, I didn't know what a "clit" was until I was 16, when a girl said that she'd make me her bitch I just replied with "woah cool", when a girl confessed to ME, I FUCKING RAN AWAY. So to have Gloria pop up and have my mind for the first time in a while go "Hmm while I usually don't find characters attractive this Gloria person is very pretty I hope she's good" is no easy feat. "Is this it?" I wondered. Like Nero, did I finally awaken a demon inside me, but instead of being a cool fucking arm that can grab things, the demon inside me is called "sex drive". Maybe I could finally give this sex thing a shot, maybe I don't have to be scared of anything sexual, even while alone, anymore. In that moment, I got Nero, I became him. I looked at my hand like it was Devil Bringer as I wondered if I should give this "jacking off thing" a go. Is this a new chapter for me, Quade Pad? Did Devil May Cry 4...change my life? As I slowly came to terms with this new side of me, it all came crashing down via the fucking costume select screen where I got spoiled on Gloria's true identity and oh my god jokes aside I laughed so fucking hard. Which made me realise a new truth.
"White women are mid"
Thank you Devil May Cry 4, for opening my eyes and changing my life.
The final mission pretty much cemented my view of the game. Truth be told I'm going through a rough patch in my life at the moment, and during these trying times where I've distanced myself as much as possible from everyone who loves me, I'm playing one of the worst boss fights I've ever seen in a video game. FUCK that boss FUCK you FUCK Dante FUCK old men FUCK statues FUCK everything FUCK me and Dante WILL WE FUCK AGAIN?
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to kill myself and this review is my last mark on this world. Also it's my birthday! Please say "Happy Birthday Quade!" in the replies. It'd really make me feel better! Cheers and god bless Devil May Cry. I will see you next time.
Coming off of the third game you'd expect Devil May Cry 4 to be much better than it is. Enter NERO. Moody and arrogant, in essence he is HIM. You know I had a really funny joke regarding Nero but it's too funny and I'm absurdly proud of it so I'm going to save it for later and don't you fucking dare say that it probably wasn't gonna be funny it absolutely fucking is everyone I've told it to has laughed at it fuck you. Anyways this kind of thing is exactly what DMC4, it set ups tons of things which make you feel like this will be "peak peak goatly goat raw fire", you kill demons in the first level that banger of a soundtrack comes in and you are getting into the grove of playing as Nero and just when you've had enough of the foreplay the game rips your nuts apart by having dogshit level design and enemies which range from mediocre to annoying
Devil Bringer is really something I felt was missing in DMC3, a way to bridge the gap between you and the enemies outside of mashing Stinger. The game is smart with it as almost every enemy in the game feels like they're designed with Devil Bringer in mind, right down to the bosses. Speaking of which, how are they bosses? Well they start off all right and it all goes downhill when I got to Mission 6 and went "oh my god this is so dogshit". Agnus can SHOVE those fucking swords UP HIS ASSHOLE and fiddle them around like a fucking DILDO and I hope that he doesn't have a G-spot cause my god that fucking FUCK does not deserve any form of pleasure. Then in the last 8 missions they start fucking reusing bosses like crazy to the point where the second final/final boss (depending on who you ask) is just a fucking beefier version of a boss you've fought before and they made said boss even MORE dog shit fuck your fucking BUBBLES fuck YOU.
Right when you get the hang of Nero the game throws you a curve ball and gives you control of Dante and baby? This was the best Dante yet, gameplay wise. "YEEESSSS BRO YESS 😍🥰🥵" was my reaction once I remembered how to play Dante. I should add that I didn't buy this game myself to play it but got it from a friend, and I noticed that she had bought souls with real world money, so I had an abundance of souls at the beginning which I spent into upgrading myself. In hindsight I'm kind of grateful for it as it gave me the chance to get my bearings in the game without being overwhelmed but when I got to Dante's section I was running low on souls. Fuck you Angela could you have seriously not bought MORE??? WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR THE LAST FUCKING HALF OF THE GAME?? PLAY IT NORMALLY? Fuck you it costs like 2 fucking pounds, are you really THAT broke???? And don't you dare act like you don't have 2 pounds, I am the poor broke boy from a third world country, NOT you. So please sell that fucking Nando's gift card already and give ME the fucking money you are fucking RUINING my gaming experience.
Remember how I said how each enemy was designed with Nero in mind? Well that comes back to bite this game in the ass when you play as Dante cause it's something that becomes really apparent especially when you start to fight old bosses again. Don't worry my DEAR reader, I didn't do a gamer rage moment and throw my controller. No, I'm a civilised man. I just beat the shit out of cardboard boxes like a REAL man cause this game is for REAL men like me and nobody should dare challenge me on that fucking front.
Level design and atmosphere is something that's also worse in this game. As bad as DMC2 is I will at least admit that due to the fact it reused a lot of shit from DMC1, it remained just as atmospheric. DMC3 was also really atmospheric! And I know DMC4 came out during the height of ugly brown Unreal Engine 3 games but goddamn does this game not hold up as well graphically as 1 and 3. I could really go on about how shit some of the puzzles in these levels are like holy fuck DICE WOO DICE it's fucking YAHTZEE ALL OVER AGAIN but I feel like I'd add nothing to the discussion except dry humping a limp corpse while I go "what's up my fellow Devil May Cry-ers I am also on the team".
Now we come to the story and there's really nothing much to be said. I don't CARE about old dude, I DON'T care about evil scientist, I don't CARE about the fact the girl who has 3 minutes of screentime. Nero aside, all new characters are a bust and even old characters take a hit. Still, I fucking laughed out loud when Dante used Royal Guard in his boss fight. Although, there is one new character I'd like to talk about...Gloria.
Let me start off by saying that, as you may have surmised, me and "sex" don't have the best of relations. I never had sex-ed in school, I didn't know what a "clit" was until I was 16, when a girl said that she'd make me her bitch I just replied with "woah cool", when a girl confessed to ME, I FUCKING RAN AWAY. So to have Gloria pop up and have my mind for the first time in a while go "Hmm while I usually don't find characters attractive this Gloria person is very pretty I hope she's good" is no easy feat. "Is this it?" I wondered. Like Nero, did I finally awaken a demon inside me, but instead of being a cool fucking arm that can grab things, the demon inside me is called "sex drive". Maybe I could finally give this sex thing a shot, maybe I don't have to be scared of anything sexual, even while alone, anymore. In that moment, I got Nero, I became him. I looked at my hand like it was Devil Bringer as I wondered if I should give this "jacking off thing" a go. Is this a new chapter for me, Quade Pad? Did Devil May Cry 4...change my life? As I slowly came to terms with this new side of me, it all came crashing down via the fucking costume select screen where I got spoiled on Gloria's true identity and oh my god jokes aside I laughed so fucking hard. Which made me realise a new truth.
"White women are mid"
Thank you Devil May Cry 4, for opening my eyes and changing my life.
The final mission pretty much cemented my view of the game. Truth be told I'm going through a rough patch in my life at the moment, and during these trying times where I've distanced myself as much as possible from everyone who loves me, I'm playing one of the worst boss fights I've ever seen in a video game. FUCK that boss FUCK you FUCK Dante FUCK old men FUCK statues FUCK everything FUCK me and Dante WILL WE FUCK AGAIN?
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to kill myself and this review is my last mark on this world. Also it's my birthday! Please say "Happy Birthday Quade!" in the replies. It'd really make me feel better! Cheers and god bless Devil May Cry. I will see you next time.
What does it mean to be part of a series? Should a piece of media be viewed only on its own merits, or should it be compared to what came before? This debate has plagued many discussions in the past, but there is no correct answer. Both sides of this argument fail to see the nuance that comes with a series and how the status quo can progress while still paying respects to the legacy of a work of art. There is a dichotomy there that I want to touch on because I feel that Breath of the Wild does not uphold the legacy of the Legend of Zelda series very well and is too much of a departure from what I know, love, and expect of a game that comes with that series label.
The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom introduces some amazing new ideas and concepts to the series while also connecting itself to that larger scope and relating its ideas to ones from games in the past. It honors the Zelda series title while still being its own entity and making strides to be truly unique.
Ultimately, it's naive to look at a game in a vacuum because that's just not possible. You can't just ignore what came prior. Expectations and familiarity play roles in everything, and yes, things can't just remain stagnant, however, that legacy can still be upheld and respected while still differentiating enough from that norm. Breath of the Wild tries to detach itself in almost every way from the series to a point where it's practically unrecognizable. That hurts, as someone who's grown up with this franchise. Yes, there is a benefit to looking at just what a game does well on its own. There is a nuance to this argument in that neither side is completely the right answer. Breath of the Wild isn't trying to be a typical Zelda game. And for that, it does extremely well. ...But it's still a Zelda game. It's the legend of ZELDA: Breath of the Wild. It's still a part of this series and it can't shake that name away. I felt let down by how the series as a whole was treated in BOTW and it left an incredibly bitter taste in my mouth.
Tears of the Kingdom strays even further from the typical Zelda identity while, at the same time, somehow making itself more connected to the series than BOTW ever was. TOTK is a breathtaking, inspiring game that takes the foundation of BOTW and builds upon it by allowing you to have the ability to do literally anything in the world with any object. It explores the new race that BOTW introduced but never truly went in-depth about, and I love that. The Zonai are one of my favorite new races in the series, I’m glad they got the love they deserved. TOTK is a goofy and charming game that has me discovering something new and constantly laughing because of some insane finding or contraption I was able to create. The new areas and dungeon aesthetics are some of the most unique and intriguing in the entire franchise, and serve as something that makes this game really stand out amongst the crowd.
It's also moodier, with a tense conflict between past and present that is a lot more dire and unnerving at times, aided by some of the terrifying enemies, areas, and bosses that really make the whole experience a lot more unsettling and serious. The dark and overbearing depths contribute to that feeling, as well as the more involved and emotional story. The game walks a thin line between serious and silly and does it with such excellence that I can't help but adore it for that.
Finally, Tears of the Kingdom is also just more Zelda-y. There are more references and ties to the main series, such as gibdos, like-likes, bomb flowers, poes, the magic armor, and so, so much more. It reimagines and redefines the age-old tale of Ganondorf, the once-in-100-years Gerudo king, approaching and dethroning the Hyrule royalty. It has more enemies, items, and assorted references to the overarching series that made me light up every time they were shown. There's a more involved story that actually shows these characters fighting and struggling with the idea that they very well might fail. It just so perfectly ties everything together to make it ultimately feel like a real Zelda game.
As I said, it upholds the legacy of the Zelda franchise while still making itself unique and modern enough to not feel like it's being held in place. If Breath of the Wild took its identity a few steps too far, I can't even say TOTK took it a step back because it somehow went back and forward at the same time. It blends together what I want from a mainline game and a fresh new take on the series. But it somehow never feels like two separate games— everything is bonded together in a way that makes it one complete experience that never feels confused about what it wants to be.
It’s not without its flaws, though. The dungeons are still not quite what I want them to be. There aren’t enough of them, and they are far too short and simple for me to love them the way I love traditional dungeons. It’s certainly a step in the right direction, visually and storywise, but they need to be more fleshed out and more linear to feel really like Zelda dungeons. Another thing that frustrated me was the sage abilities. I don’t think they were used quite well enough in the dungeons they were introduced in, and the character AI was often not where I wanted it to be during intense moments of stress. They’re fine for what they are, but they rarely felt necessary. Shrines are fine, if still a bit too simple and easily broken with the game’s mechanics.
Speaking of the mechanics, they are a whole lot of fun in this game. They invite so much creativity and thought without sacrificing anything. Ultrahand was easily the standout for me, although the others made traversal and combat a lot more fun as well. I do still wish there was a progression of items as the game went on rather than getting everything at the start, I do miss defeating a miniboss in a dungeon and obtaining some special item that I’d be using all over the world.
As a whole though, Tears of the Kingdom kept me engaged in its world and story to the very end. There was always something new to find, whether it be a secret entrance to the depths, a new shrine, a Zonai item that I hadn’t seen yet, or countless other types of discoveries I made. Its story was really something special. It has easily the best iteration of Ganondorf so far in the series, and a tale that spanned thousands of years to all converge together at the end. I genuinely sobbed so much when this game concluded. Something about the music, characters, and direction just reminded me of what I adore about the Zelda series.
It all comes back to legacy. To answer the question posed at the beginning of this review, being part of a series means honoring what came before, and leaving a footprint that will become part of that history. There’s a legacy that Tears of the Kingdom embraces and honors, bringing in staples from the rest of the series that connect with fans who may not have loved BOTW’s departure from form. Tears of the Kingdom also leaves a legacy of its own, and will certainly shape the future of the franchise. Tears of the Kingdom is a game I can proudly say I love.
"Link. Remember this name."
The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom introduces some amazing new ideas and concepts to the series while also connecting itself to that larger scope and relating its ideas to ones from games in the past. It honors the Zelda series title while still being its own entity and making strides to be truly unique.
Ultimately, it's naive to look at a game in a vacuum because that's just not possible. You can't just ignore what came prior. Expectations and familiarity play roles in everything, and yes, things can't just remain stagnant, however, that legacy can still be upheld and respected while still differentiating enough from that norm. Breath of the Wild tries to detach itself in almost every way from the series to a point where it's practically unrecognizable. That hurts, as someone who's grown up with this franchise. Yes, there is a benefit to looking at just what a game does well on its own. There is a nuance to this argument in that neither side is completely the right answer. Breath of the Wild isn't trying to be a typical Zelda game. And for that, it does extremely well. ...But it's still a Zelda game. It's the legend of ZELDA: Breath of the Wild. It's still a part of this series and it can't shake that name away. I felt let down by how the series as a whole was treated in BOTW and it left an incredibly bitter taste in my mouth.
Tears of the Kingdom strays even further from the typical Zelda identity while, at the same time, somehow making itself more connected to the series than BOTW ever was. TOTK is a breathtaking, inspiring game that takes the foundation of BOTW and builds upon it by allowing you to have the ability to do literally anything in the world with any object. It explores the new race that BOTW introduced but never truly went in-depth about, and I love that. The Zonai are one of my favorite new races in the series, I’m glad they got the love they deserved. TOTK is a goofy and charming game that has me discovering something new and constantly laughing because of some insane finding or contraption I was able to create. The new areas and dungeon aesthetics are some of the most unique and intriguing in the entire franchise, and serve as something that makes this game really stand out amongst the crowd.
It's also moodier, with a tense conflict between past and present that is a lot more dire and unnerving at times, aided by some of the terrifying enemies, areas, and bosses that really make the whole experience a lot more unsettling and serious. The dark and overbearing depths contribute to that feeling, as well as the more involved and emotional story. The game walks a thin line between serious and silly and does it with such excellence that I can't help but adore it for that.
Finally, Tears of the Kingdom is also just more Zelda-y. There are more references and ties to the main series, such as gibdos, like-likes, bomb flowers, poes, the magic armor, and so, so much more. It reimagines and redefines the age-old tale of Ganondorf, the once-in-100-years Gerudo king, approaching and dethroning the Hyrule royalty. It has more enemies, items, and assorted references to the overarching series that made me light up every time they were shown. There's a more involved story that actually shows these characters fighting and struggling with the idea that they very well might fail. It just so perfectly ties everything together to make it ultimately feel like a real Zelda game.
As I said, it upholds the legacy of the Zelda franchise while still making itself unique and modern enough to not feel like it's being held in place. If Breath of the Wild took its identity a few steps too far, I can't even say TOTK took it a step back because it somehow went back and forward at the same time. It blends together what I want from a mainline game and a fresh new take on the series. But it somehow never feels like two separate games— everything is bonded together in a way that makes it one complete experience that never feels confused about what it wants to be.
It’s not without its flaws, though. The dungeons are still not quite what I want them to be. There aren’t enough of them, and they are far too short and simple for me to love them the way I love traditional dungeons. It’s certainly a step in the right direction, visually and storywise, but they need to be more fleshed out and more linear to feel really like Zelda dungeons. Another thing that frustrated me was the sage abilities. I don’t think they were used quite well enough in the dungeons they were introduced in, and the character AI was often not where I wanted it to be during intense moments of stress. They’re fine for what they are, but they rarely felt necessary. Shrines are fine, if still a bit too simple and easily broken with the game’s mechanics.
Speaking of the mechanics, they are a whole lot of fun in this game. They invite so much creativity and thought without sacrificing anything. Ultrahand was easily the standout for me, although the others made traversal and combat a lot more fun as well. I do still wish there was a progression of items as the game went on rather than getting everything at the start, I do miss defeating a miniboss in a dungeon and obtaining some special item that I’d be using all over the world.
As a whole though, Tears of the Kingdom kept me engaged in its world and story to the very end. There was always something new to find, whether it be a secret entrance to the depths, a new shrine, a Zonai item that I hadn’t seen yet, or countless other types of discoveries I made. Its story was really something special. It has easily the best iteration of Ganondorf so far in the series, and a tale that spanned thousands of years to all converge together at the end. I genuinely sobbed so much when this game concluded. Something about the music, characters, and direction just reminded me of what I adore about the Zelda series.
It all comes back to legacy. To answer the question posed at the beginning of this review, being part of a series means honoring what came before, and leaving a footprint that will become part of that history. There’s a legacy that Tears of the Kingdom embraces and honors, bringing in staples from the rest of the series that connect with fans who may not have loved BOTW’s departure from form. Tears of the Kingdom also leaves a legacy of its own, and will certainly shape the future of the franchise. Tears of the Kingdom is a game I can proudly say I love.
"Link. Remember this name."
Killer Is Dead
2013
ｗₐⲕₑ ᵤ𝒑, ៳ₒ𝑛𝑑ₒ
the question that irked me during my playthrough was “what makes this any different or worse than no more heroes?” it’s easy to draw comparisons as they share similar gameplay systems with arguably surface level complexion that revel in mashy combos topped off with brutal finishers. though what makes killer is dead a few pegs lower than nmh in its gameplay is that it blindly takes itself too seriously. the game pleads to be on the same level as prominent action game contemporaries, yet doesn’t take enough of a leap from NMH’s base to reach that point. NMH’s somewhat simple gameplay works for me because it’s self-aware; it knows its combat isn’t super deep or nuanced and makes the most out of it with shorter levels that feature fun gimmicks and comedic flair. KiD is kind of mindless in its approach to this, with having all your action game standards like upgrades, mission based structure, etc etc… without doing much to help it stand out. missions outstay their welcome with noticeably bland level design and bosses where the player’s skills are rarely tested. and even if you take the mediocre level layouts out of the question, there’s nothing all that eye-catching about any of the stages. traversing areas in say killer7 introduced a cornucopia of moody camera angles and striking set-pieces that ominously wrapped around the gameplay. although killer is dead looks pretty, its locales are conversely too bland.
ₒ𝒑ₑ𝑛 𝑦ₒᵤᵣ ₑ𝑦ₑ𝑠, ᵢ𝑡𝑠 𝑡ᵢ𝑚ₑ 𝑡ₒ 𝑑ᵢₑ
overall feels a bit like a mashup of random aspects from NMH and killer7 to mediocre prevail. notably trying to replicate NMH’s humor in tandem with k7’s tone without understanding what makes either of which work so well. NMH’s comedy works because it recognizes itself as a parody/critique of the genres that influenced it. killer7’s notoriety stands tall on a secure horror and political thriller infested foundation. killer is dead’s humor and story fall flat because its writing lacks any sort of flair or legitimate intrigue. the moon shows up god knows how many times however i struggle to find any true motivation for its inclusion. it’s as if the devs looked back at games like the silver case and killer7, saw they had moons show up a few times, and figured it’d be a good idea to reuse that motif more obnoxiously in order to fit in. the same could be said for many analogous aspects in the game.
𝑦ₒᵤ’ᵣₑ 𝑚ₐⲕᵢ𝑛𝑔 𝑚ₑ 𝑏Լᵤ𝑠ⲏ
the worst offense here, without a doubt, are the “Mondo Girls” side missions. your goal? silently stare down your date’s body uncomfortably while they aren’t looking and receive compliments from them! sucks. terrible. garbage. mondo seems to enjoy diving headfirst into misogyny. even funnier during one of the later levels when he inquires “Is our game ethical?” it must’ve been rhetorical, right?
тⲏₑ ⱼₒ𝑏…ⲕᵢԼԼₑᵣ ᵢ𝑠 𝑑ₑₐ𝑑
maybe it’s unfair of me to compare this so closely to grasshopper’s previous titles, though i believe it’s justified with how much inspiration it draws from them. also i feel like grasshopper has that sort of reputation with a standard to uphold you know? i’ll still give this game points in that regard, because at least it’s better than no more heroes 2.
the question that irked me during my playthrough was “what makes this any different or worse than no more heroes?” it’s easy to draw comparisons as they share similar gameplay systems with arguably surface level complexion that revel in mashy combos topped off with brutal finishers. though what makes killer is dead a few pegs lower than nmh in its gameplay is that it blindly takes itself too seriously. the game pleads to be on the same level as prominent action game contemporaries, yet doesn’t take enough of a leap from NMH’s base to reach that point. NMH’s somewhat simple gameplay works for me because it’s self-aware; it knows its combat isn’t super deep or nuanced and makes the most out of it with shorter levels that feature fun gimmicks and comedic flair. KiD is kind of mindless in its approach to this, with having all your action game standards like upgrades, mission based structure, etc etc… without doing much to help it stand out. missions outstay their welcome with noticeably bland level design and bosses where the player’s skills are rarely tested. and even if you take the mediocre level layouts out of the question, there’s nothing all that eye-catching about any of the stages. traversing areas in say killer7 introduced a cornucopia of moody camera angles and striking set-pieces that ominously wrapped around the gameplay. although killer is dead looks pretty, its locales are conversely too bland.
ₒ𝒑ₑ𝑛 𝑦ₒᵤᵣ ₑ𝑦ₑ𝑠, ᵢ𝑡𝑠 𝑡ᵢ𝑚ₑ 𝑡ₒ 𝑑ᵢₑ
overall feels a bit like a mashup of random aspects from NMH and killer7 to mediocre prevail. notably trying to replicate NMH’s humor in tandem with k7’s tone without understanding what makes either of which work so well. NMH’s comedy works because it recognizes itself as a parody/critique of the genres that influenced it. killer7’s notoriety stands tall on a secure horror and political thriller infested foundation. killer is dead’s humor and story fall flat because its writing lacks any sort of flair or legitimate intrigue. the moon shows up god knows how many times however i struggle to find any true motivation for its inclusion. it’s as if the devs looked back at games like the silver case and killer7, saw they had moons show up a few times, and figured it’d be a good idea to reuse that motif more obnoxiously in order to fit in. the same could be said for many analogous aspects in the game.
𝑦ₒᵤ’ᵣₑ 𝑚ₐⲕᵢ𝑛𝑔 𝑚ₑ 𝑏Լᵤ𝑠ⲏ
the worst offense here, without a doubt, are the “Mondo Girls” side missions. your goal? silently stare down your date’s body uncomfortably while they aren’t looking and receive compliments from them! sucks. terrible. garbage. mondo seems to enjoy diving headfirst into misogyny. even funnier during one of the later levels when he inquires “Is our game ethical?” it must’ve been rhetorical, right?
тⲏₑ ⱼₒ𝑏…ⲕᵢԼԼₑᵣ ᵢ𝑠 𝑑ₑₐ𝑑
maybe it’s unfair of me to compare this so closely to grasshopper’s previous titles, though i believe it’s justified with how much inspiration it draws from them. also i feel like grasshopper has that sort of reputation with a standard to uphold you know? i’ll still give this game points in that regard, because at least it’s better than no more heroes 2.